Deeper thoughts and unseen actions.
This story takes place throughout the course of the SG-1 series. I've done my absolute best to stick to canon, but what's the point of sticking to it 100% when writing fanfic right? My point for writing it is to keep MOSTLY true to the series and provide more insight into what my take was on what was never shown. Lots of inner monologue and off base interactions. Of course, since its Sam and Jack based there will be some blatant disregard for the Frat Regs. Why? because we all know we all spent 10+ years screaming "KISS ALREADY!" at the screen, and wasn't that peachy?!
So, of course my disclaimer is I own none of the following characters and all content regarding Stargate, Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, and the like are expressly owned by MGM and their subsidiaries. No financial gains will be made and it is being created solely for the enjoyment of myself and other fans of the what is hands down the greatest franchise to ever be made.
Chapter 1
1995
The wind is calm today. Almost non-existent. He doesn't like that. It reminds him too much of things he'd rather forget. Something is in the air. Something is wrong. His gut twists and turns like an abused Slinky. He knows he needs to be more alert, but he's too tired. The torture has taken too much out of him. Hes been home for a month now, but he's nowhere near 100%. More like 45%. Thats a generous estimation. The wind is too calm.
"Jack, hun, have some coffee. Its 1 o'clock and you've been up since 5. You need to eat something."
"Thanks"
He takes the cup and scoots to the right, making room for Sara to sit. Leaning her head on his shoulder, she places her hand on his leg and takes a deep breath preparing to say whats been on her mind.
"Sara, I'm sorry for being so distant" He speaks before she can. Looking at the cup in his hands and continues. "But you know I can't talk with you about what happened. And even if I could, I wouldnt. I dont want it in your head. I cant do that too you."
"I know Jack, I understand that, but you go days without saying anything, you're having nightmares every night, you flinch at the slightest sound and you haven't touched me once since you came back. And I know you went through a literal hell and back. But I miss you Jack. I love you and miss you more than you know. I want to be with you. Why can't you come back to me?"
"Sara, I-"
"Jack, you can't keep going around in circles. I need you, Charlie needs you"
"STOP! Dont you dare question my love for Charlie. I do everything I do for Charlie. And Sara, don't think for a second that I don't lo-"
BANG!
The sound comes from upstairs.
Charlies room.
Jack has never moved so fast in his life.
Sara screams.
Jack takes the stairs 3 at a time.
The door goes flying off the hinges.
Blood is everywhere.
Sara screams.
Jack holds Charlie.
What's left of Charlie.
1 month later.
'The therapy is bullshit.'
Jack sleeps on the couch more often than not.
2 months later.
'Fuck it all'
Jack and Sara don't speak to each other outside of therapy. The haven't in a month.
Hes holding the gun in his hand. Its weight the only thing feeling real.
"Sir," a voice says from behind him. He slides the gun under Charlies pillow and turns around to see 2 Airmen standing in the doorway. "we're here to inform you... that you've been... reactivated."
1 week later.
Cheyenne Mountain Complex. 28 floors underground.
0700 hours.
O'Neill sits at the foot of the table, his head in the clouds. 'Why am I here? Oh, yeah, because maybe this'll be the mission that finally kills me. Lord knows I deserve to be dead. At least if I die in combat Sara will get the benefits. Won't fix what I did, but she'll certainly be better off. My being around isn't helping anything. Thats for sure.'
"Hello, my name is First Lieutenant Samantha Carter, and I'm here to explain the physics of the Stargate."
Jack glanced at Kawalsky and Ferretti. 'Great, more science mumbo jumbo. Just let us go so I can die. At least shes not bad to look at. Actually, she kinda cute. In fact, shes really cute. I guess I can't complain that shes the one yapping away. But, wait a second, how old is she? 25, 26? I mean, she can't be too young, she's got PH.D attached to her name. And that name, where do I know that name from? Eh, I dunno, I'll figure it out later. Later... Thats one thing I don't have. Later. Its not like it matters though. Ive got nothing to offer anyone anymore. I killed my own son for christ sake.'
Kawalsky looked at Jack and rolled his eyes with a look that said 'Scientists, huh?'
Sam finished her presentation.
"Thank you First Lt. Please follow the Airman out and he will escort you to the surface." Said General West.
"Yes Sir"
General West turned back to his table of elite soldiers. The best the US Military could offer. And Dr Jackson.
"Alright Gentlemen, gear up. You leave at 1300 hours."
As Sam walked out of the briefing room she cursed under her breath. she should be going through the gate with the other soldiers. Unfortunately its not the just fact that shes a woman that is keeping her from stepping through, but the damn concussion. It was her own damn fault though. Well, actually, she blamed Jonas. If he wasn't so damn frustrating she wouldn't take it out on her F15. Best times she really shouldn't back so hard while testing the new thrusters she helped design. It hurt too damn much. She headed back up to the surface to go back to her lab. she definitely did not want to head back home right now.
Sam entered her lab back at Peterson Air Force Base and tried to continue to work, but she couldn't get an image out of her head. The man at the foot of the table. The one with the Chocolate eyes. There was something in them. Dispair? Anger? Helplessness? 'All of the above' she thought. 'Why did he look so defeated? He was about to go through the gate!' But those eyes. There was something about them. Sam knew that she wasn't going to be able to get those eyes of her mind for a very long time.
Cheyenne Mountain Complex. Embarkation Room
1300 hours.
Jack stood staring at the large circular device.
"Chevron 1, Locked!"
He looked to his left; Kawalsky looks back and winks with his stupid little wink.
"Chevron 2, Locked!"
He looks just past Kawalsky to Dr Jackson, who pushes his glasses up on his nose. Jack rolls his eyes.
"Chevron 3, Locked!"
Jack looks to his right to Ferretti. Lou has this stupid little school boy look on his face. He always was a nerd at heart and Jack knew it. But Jack liked the guy none the less. Just past Ferretti is General West. He almost looks like he feels sorry for the men in front of the gate. 'Lets hope youre right sir.' Jack thought.
"ACHOO!"
Jack looked back at Daniel who was now pulling a pack of tissues out of his pocket. 'Aw, what a good little boy scout'
"Chevron 7, Locked! Wormhole Engaged!"
KAWOOSH!
Everyone jumps back as the wall of water-like substance jumps out at them. Jack takes one look back at his team.
"If anyone has anything to say, now's the time to say it!"
No one responds, so Jack steps forward straight through the Wormhole.
Same day
A quiet street in Colorado Springs.
1950 hours
Sam pulls up to her "home." The one she shares with Jonas Hanson. Reluctantly she grabs her things and drags herself out of the car. Everyday, more and more, shes been dreading coming home. Jonas always has some snide comment. About her work. About her. You name it. 'why the hell am I putting up with this?!' its the same question she asks herself every night as she walks up these steps. She opens the door and as expected, Jonas is standing in the hall.
"Youre late"
"I know, I'm sorry... Hun..." The term of endearment feels forced more and more every time.
Jonas extends a glass of wine towards Sam.
"Jonas, you know I still can't drink. My concussion, remember?"
"Oh come on Sam, thats bullshit and you know it. Its been a week. Youre fine and you know it."
"No, I'm still getting headaches. I can't."
"Damnit Samantha! Take the fucking glass!"
"I said no! Why are you trying to force this on me?! What if I just don't want any? What then?"
This had become a typical interaction between the two of them. the constant fighting was exhausting, but truthfully, it was more than that, Jonas was becoming more and more abusive everyday.
"What the fuck Sam?! Are you avoiding being even slightly intoxicated around me for a reason? Is there something you're hiding? Youve always been a lippy and talkative drunk and you know it. Afraid you'll let something slip? About that new 'top secret' project you're working on? Deep space telemetry my ass. Or... is is something even more than that?"
He had backed her up to the door at this point. She could smell the tequila on him. 'No wonder. He's fucking drunk.'
Sober Jonas was borderline abusive already. Drunk Jonas could kill her if she wasn't careful.
Her fathers voice popped into her head. She thought back to when Jacob had first met Jonas. The first moment Jonas had left them alone together he had leaned in, "I know you love him, but I don't like that boy. I don't trust him." 'If only my dad were here to see me now. I'm such a disappointment'
"SAMANTHA CARTER!" His hand was at her throat. "You're cheating aren't you?" 'What?!' That was a brand new accusation. "No Jonas, I'm not cheating! But damnit! I'm not putting up with this any more!" Her combat experience kicked in and she managed to get his hand from around her throat. But he was strong. Special Forces trained. He grabbed her wrists midai, turning her and twisting her hands behind her back, forcing her face first against the door.
"Jonas! Let me go!"
"No Sam! No one makes a fool of me and thats what you've done. You've tried to make a fool of me. You'll pay for that."
The hands on her wrists clamped down harder and twisted her shoulder almost out of the socket. He grabbed her long blonde hair with his free hand, pulling until she yelled out. Sam knew it was now or never. If she did not get out of his grasp, she was either going to end up dead, or within an inch of her life. she suspected it was going to be the former, truth be told. Something about the evil she could feel emanating from him told her he would enjoy it too. He let go of her wrists so he could reach around to her belt, still holding her hair.
'ohmygod, NO!'
She took her shot. She spun around and hit him with the heel of her hand right above his Xiphoid Process. He gasped, trying to breathe, and fell backwards. All the while refusing to let go of her hair. She said standing and she felt a sensation at the back of her scalp. Unsure of what it was. Her adrenaline was pumping through her veins like fire. All she knew was she had 30 seconds to get from her current spot to her car.
Sam has never moved so fast in her life.
15 minutes later.
Sam pulled up to the little townhouse just off of the base. She looked at the front of the house. The light in the living room telling her the one person she needed right now was home. She wasn't sure if she was thankful or upset. Hell, she couldn't tell up from down right now. She got out of the car and walked up the drive. She took the 4 steps to the porch slowly and she was about to knock when the door opened and Jacob became visible in the light that flooded the porch.
"Sam, sweetie! what brings you- OH MY GOD SAMANTHA! What the hell happened to you?!" He pulled her inside. He sat her on the chair in the dining room and looked her over. She had a cut above her right eye, a bloody nose and marks on her raw wrists that looked like... 'FINGER IMPRESSIONS! and the blood down her neck! Oh my god!' He thought as he slowly turned her head to look where the blood was coming from. 'Is that a chunk of hair ripped out?!' He looked back into her eyes, and saw she had a glazed look.
She spoke slowly. In the distance. "Dad, I-"
"Samantha, please, who did this to you?" He spoke with a compassion she had rarely heard from him before. She looked him in the eye. "Sam, Why did you let someone hurt you like this?"
"Jonas." She said quietly. almost mumbling.
"I'll kill him." He was suddenly calm. She knew that meant nothing good.
"Dad, no. I've left him. I just want to be done with him."
"Sam, what happened? You're stronger than this! Why did you let him hurt you?!"
"I didn't 'let him' hurt me. When I got home he was already drunk. He accused me of cheating and keeping secrets. I swore I didn't cheat. The only secrets are the classified ones at work! But he didn't believe me. He cornered me against the door and I couldn't free until he... he..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Sam, did he do anything to you that I can't currently see?" Jacob's anger was rising to beyond a controllable level. If she confirmed what he was thinking, he would gladly spend the rest of his life in Leavenworth just to be able to tear the scumbag limb from limb.
"He tried, but I wouldn't let him. I hit him right at the base of the sternum. I managed to get free and ran to my car. I came straight here. I don't want to go the military about this. Can you imagine how it would look?" He thought for a second about what to do next. "Sam, you still having headaches from the concussion?" "Yeah." "Ok, good. We're going to use that to our advantage. You're taking some time off to 'heal' from that. I'm going to call in a favor to a local civilian doctor I know. No matter what we do, you do need medical treatment, that's for sure."
Sam thought for a second and decided against even trying to think of a reason to protest. He made good points. She sighed and closed her eyes. She knew that no matter what history she and her father had, he only meant to take care of her. She figured she should let him do that now.
WOO! Oh man, my first fic to be published in a couple of years! Feels, strange... Good though. I'm very open to feed back so please send it my way. I'm actively working on chapter 2 and am hoping to have it up tonight, if not tomorrow at the latest. Chapter 2 takes place a little before the start of Children of the Gods, So that gives you an idea of the direction I'm taking this story. Thanks!