Prepare yourself, my stories are not meant for normal minds. Pure insanity lurks these depths. Dare you enter? I don't care as long as you review. By the way, I hope you like the rewrite.
Yes this is a divider. What did you think it was? Moron!
It was an average day in Konoha. The sun was shining, the birds were doing whatever stupid birds do, and the ANBU were assasinating. Of course, not all was well. Naruto was out of ramen. He couldn't get anymore either. It was a Sunday and the grocery store was closed. And due to an earlier incident involving a horrific ramen monster caused from an old bowl of ramen in the back of the ramen shop, whom Naruto smited, the Ichiraku (Eh, I'm guessing…) Ramen was closed for repairs.
The problem is, all Naruto really eats is ramen. He doesn't drink water, he gets his hydration from ramen broth. Quite interesting really, but either way, Naruto neeeeeds ramen. Literally. He'll die without it.
Desperately, he rummages every inch of his house. Nothing. He had NO ramen. My beautiful ramen… I'll save you… somehow… he thought to himself as he changed into a black version of his, uh, clothing, in mourning for his true love: Hinata- I mean ramen.
Walking slowly, head hung low, Naruto finally made his way to the training area. Late.
'Did someone die?' thought Sasuke. But he said. "Late as usual, dobe."
Naruto ignored his insult and sat sullenly on the ground at the base of a tree.
'Naruto is hot in black... I wonder why he is wearing it. Wait. WHAT AM I THINKING! AAAAAAAHHHH!' thought Sakura.
Sasuke was unable to bear it any longer. "Hey, baka, why are you wearing black?" asked Sasuke. "I lost my true love. Ramen," said Naruto on the brink of tears.
Suddenly Kiba ran past them screaming, "IT WASN'T ME! IT WASN'T ME!" He was followed closely by Shino screaming (Yes, screaming) "LIAR! GIVE BACK ANNIE!" (Read The Adventures of the Really Bored 5 if you really want to know) It was really weird. Naruto ogled at this sight despite his sadness, and stuck his hands in his pockets.
When the two freaks had passed, Naruto realized that there was something inside of his pocket. It was... ramen. What a surprise. And miso ramen no less. "RAMEN!" he cried, jumping into the air. He spun in a cloud of clouds in the air and when he came back down, a huge smile on his face, he was wearing his orange clothes again. Sasuke, who was turned around staring into space thinking Sasuke-ish thoughts (MUSTKILLITACHI MUSTKILLITACHI MUSTKILLITACHI etc;) was surprised my Naruto's scream and stepped backwards towards Naruto, quite stupidly. He bumped into him, knocking the preeeeciooouussss ramen into the river.
Naruto turned around slowly to face Sasuke. His eyes were glinting with PURE EVIL. He had a scary sadistic Gaara smile on his face. "Sasuke. I believe you made me drop my ramen," He said cooly. Sasuke backed up, then turned and ran into the forest. Naruto ran after him, still looking more evil than Orochimaru, but much less gay and ugly. Sakura went home, terrified.
Kakashi walked onto the bridge suprised to see no one was there. "Oh well," he said and went home.
The next day, everyone but Sasuke met on the bridge. "Hi Sakura-chan!" called Naruto cheerily, having broken into the grocery store and robbing them of their supply of ramen. "Uh, Whatever Naruto. Do you know where Sasuke-kun is?"questioned Sakura, before savagely adding, "Did you hurt him?" "I don't know what you're talking about, Sakura-chan," he said in a super innocent voice, topped with widened blue eyes. Damn did he look innocent. You could almost imagine the little chibi fox ears on him. It took all of Sakura self control to keep from leaping on him screaming, "KAWAII!" But the other girls spying from in a tree didn't have Sakura's self control, so Ino, Tenten, Hinata, and even Temari who was there for some reason, leapt upon their unsuspecting kitsune prey. Then Naruto said in an even more innocent voice, "Ramen?" It was too much for even Sakura. She jumped on him to. Then Kurenai's Cuteness Radar reacted to him. Kurenai was then hell bent on finding the cuteness.
Poor Naruto was low on oxygen. He was smothered by girls and Kurenai-sensei. Kakashi, who had just arrived, stared wide eyed at the whole scene. But how to break it up? His student would be dead before long.
Kakashi, as a child had a far worse experience with fan girls as a child. One time, in the academy, someone managed to get his mask off of him. It was disastrous. Stalkers, random attacks, mobs, crazy rapists. All of it happening to a 6 year old Kakashi. Quite terrifying.
He took off his mask in a desperate attempt to save poor Naruto. As expected, Kurenai's Hotness Radar went off. She was then hell bent on having the hotness. One must wonder where all these radars come from. All the girls except Hinata dropped Naruto and leapt on Kakashi. Hinata cuddled her Naruto-kun, and if anyone left Kakashi to come for the Kawaii one, she would snarl viciously and slash at them. THEN Sasuke walked in, bruised, beaten, mauled. Promptly, Naruto yelled out how Sasuke made him drop his ramen. Everyone gasped. Everyone turned slowly to face Sasuke. Under the effect of Naruto's 'Cuteness Control', they were insane.
Their eyes were glinting with PURE EVIL. They had a scary sadistic Gaara smiles on their faces. "Sasuke. I believe you made Naruto drop his ramen," said Hinata cooly. 'Not again...' thought Sasuke as he backed up, then turned and ran into the forest. They all ran after him, still looking more evil than Orochimaru, but much less gay and ugly.
Division. Not only a math subject, but an internet term. This is division. It is cool. Maybe.
Yes, this is the end. /plays the Naruto Ending Theme/