Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The alarm rang as I shifted in my bed and sat up, wiping the crust from my eyes.

I sighed.

It's been two months, three days, four hours, and five minutes he had left.

I dragged myself out from under the covers and slowly walked to the restroom, half-awake with no energy, I'm surprised I even got up today.

Slipping off my clothes, I begin the process of showering. Yes, it's become a process, almost a chore. I haven't left the house, hell- I've barely even left my room. I used unscented soap, generic-sad. I felt no need to use scented shampoos, scented body wash, or to even shave. I ran out of those things a long time ago, when the wound was fresh, when the hope that he would come back was still there.

I'm left alone again, not only defenseless but sad, empty, and heartbroken.

I did meet a boy, a boy named Jacob Black. Being my father's friends' son, he comes by every so often. I believe he's nice, pure…full of, dare I say, life. He's nice and in his eyes, I can see he's sadden by me, he tries to make me happy, he tries to make me smile, but I don't feel the need. I don't want to be happy. I don't want to feel joy or love with another. It sounds sad, but love, love is sad and I was only ever happy with him. Someone else bringing me joy or laughter only makes this hollow pit in my chest sink even further into the abyss that is myself, I begin to remember a time when he was still here and those memories are now just memories, memories that I wish to forget. I wish to forget because they bring too much pain, the longing for him is still there and it's buried underneath my expressionless face.

I stepped out of the shower, turning the water off- I hadn't noticed how hot it was, my pale skin flushed red with anger. I dried myself off and slipped into a robe. No energy left to get dressed for school, no energy left to even continue the day.

How did I end up here, so dead inside?

Charlie didn't deserve this, the pain I'm putting him through. I hear him say goodnight outside my door every night, not daring to venture in to the hell that this room has now become, my own isolation from everyone around me. He's concerned, his voice sounds scared, scared that maybe one day if he were to turn that knob, to venture in, that he wouldn't like what he could find.

He's too kind, too selfless. He doesn't deserve to be put through this, to see his only child like this, living but dead.

I somehow ended up in front of the mirror that hung over my dresser, my eyes trailed across my face with my fingers, following the sunken cheekbones and the cracks on my lips. The bags under my eyes, they looked bruised and swollen from constant nights of insomnia or relentless crying. I looked like a vampire, except I was anything but beautiful.

No one has said his name since he left, no one has dared to speak about him. They were scared and for good reason. I was scared too. Scared that maybe, just maybe I could fall into an even deeper depression, however at this point- I don't believe it's possible. Because at this point, I knew what I had to do. I hated the looks everyone gave me, I hated the pitiful stares that followed me across town.

I contemplated these thoughts, I contemplated long enough to come up with the only valid conclusion.

To kill myself, the best conclusion to any story ever written, any sad life ever lived.

I would die today, I would finally free myself of this sorrow that engulfs me every time I open my eyes.

I knew, in my heart, that this was for the best.

I stood up, attempting to remember where Charlie had left his belt, his belt that carried the only thing that could possibly save me right now, his gun. Remembering rather quickly, I ran to the closet, flinging the door open to the various number of shelves which I quickly scanned. I was on a mission.

Quickly finding what I needed, I slipped it from the holster and cradled it close to my chest as I walked back to my room.

I would finally be free.

I closed my door behind me and walked to the desk where I laid the pistol down, as I began to search for a paper and pencil.

Charlie,

I know that when you find this letter, you will find me. I will be dead and just know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it ended like this and I'm sorry I couldn't have been a better daughter to you, a better child. I'm not happy Charlie and I don't think I ever will be, not since he left. I just need you to know that I love you, ok? I love you.

-Bella.

I folded the note before placing it into an envelope marked 'Charlie'. I carried on.

To Edward,

My only reason for existing, my entire world. God how I miss you, I love you and I promise, I've loved you this entire time. It never faltered, not for a second. I'm going to miss you, I'm going to miss everyone. Don't do anything rash, this is just how it must be. I cannot live a life without you in it, therefore what I'm about to do is a must.

Forever yours,

Bella Swan

I folded the note, just like the note before and placed it into an enveloped marked 'Edward'. I picked up the gun and sat down on my bed and stared at the metal that laid in my hands.

I wasn't sure how to go about this.

I wasn't sure which method was the best.

Do I place the gun in my mouth upwards? So the shot will entire my brain diagonally?

Do I place the barrel at my temple?

Maybe, I could place the barrel on my heart?

Contemplating my decision for just one more minute, I began to breathe in and out.

Breathe In.

Breathe Out.

I rose the gun up to my temple and placed my finger on the trigger.

"I love you Edward", I mouthed.

Then I pulled the trigger.