Bakura and the Quest For the Perfect Sake!
Chapter 1- The QUEST is issued!
Disclaimer- I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!
"No."
"Yea."
"I will not subject myself to that type of humiliation."
"Oh, don't be such a wuss. DO IT DAMNIT!"
"Bitch. I will not clean up the mess YOU and YAMI made."
Tea growled.
"Bitch? I'm a bitch? Well then you're a man whore!"
Malik stared. Was she insane?
"Hey, I would remember who has a Millennium Item that, conveniently, happens to be a dagger!"
"You wouldn't AAAAAAGGGGHHHH! YAMI! YUGI! SOMEONE HELP! HE'S CHASING ME, THE PSYCHO!"
Yami looked up from his magazine.
"Tea. You can't fend him off this once? I had to keep him from trying to kill you twice this week already"
"DAMNIT YAMI I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! HELP ME AGAIN!"
Yami went back to reading his paper, much to Malik's amusement.
"Hey. You get yourself out of this one. If your not going to be grateful, then I'm not going to stick out my neck for you. "
"Hey, what's going on?" Yugi called from the kitchen. All he does is leave the room for 5 minutes and some type of ruckus breaks out
"What the hell is the matter with you people? I leave for 5 freaking minutes and you all try and kill each other?"
"Their fault. I did nothing." Yami said, not taking his eyes off his reading.
"YUGI! HELP ME!" Tea screamed, jumping clear over the couch, followed closely by Malik, who was having the time of his life. Chasing girls to kill them was so exhilarating!
"HEY MALIK!"
"Stop yelling you stupid whore. It hurts my ears."
"Whore? Excuse me?" Tea then remembered why Malik was trying to kill her. "Umm, never mind thatcan you stop chasing me now?"
Malik cracked up laughing.
"Stop *gasp!* chasing you? That's half the fun!"
Tea sweatdropped, almost knocking into a table.
"What's the other half of the fun? Or do I not want to know"
Malik grinned insanely.
"Hiding the body, of course!"
Yami, Yugi and Tea facefaulted. Suddenly, as Malik was about to draw his dagger, there was a knock at the door.
"Damn. Always at the wrong time" Malik mumbled sadly. Would he ever get to silence that stupid girl?
"Yami, you get it."
"Damn! Why me?"
"Because I cant move! Teas sitting on me!"
"Oh. Alright, alright, I'm going"
Yami walked over to the door and opened it to reveal
"BAKURA! What are you doing here?"
"Well, Malik has some stuff of mine that I let him borrow. So I came to get it back," Bakura said evenly.
"Ohok then, come in. Please excuse our mess," Yami muttered, jerking his head at Malik and Tea.
"Oh, hello Bakura! Been a long time!" Malik grinned from his armchair.
"Hey Malik! Ummhave you seen my penknife? I left it here last time and Yugi hinted that you might have kept it for me"
"Ooh, that was yours? The police confiscated it when I was arrested last Saturday. Sorry."
Bakura sweatdropped.
"Ah. Who did you kill this time?"
"Some annoying little prick who insisted that I give him my Ra card or he'd kill me," Malik snorted, "Of course, I compliedthen shadowed him home and silenced himeh heh heh heh"
Yami, Yugi and Tea sweatdropped and moved a bit further from his armchair.
"HEY! TRISTAN! GIMME THAT BACK!"
Bakura looked at Yugi and raised an eyebrow.
"From what I'm guessing, Tristan stole Joey's Red-Eyes again."
"Does that happen often?"
"Only when Tristan isn't chasing Joey's fangirls"
"YOU STUPID ASSHOLE! JUST BECAUSE YOUR JEALOSE THAT I HAVE MORE FANS THEN YOU DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO STEAL MY STUFF!"
Joey, chasing Tristan, vaulted over Yami (who didn't flinch), then almost tripped into Tea.
"Watch where you're going!" She yelled, smacking Joey across the face.
"HEY! What the hell was that for?" He said, rubbing the handmark on his cheek.
"Does this mean that I get to kill her?" Malik spoke up hopefully.
"NO!" Everybody chorused.
"Aww you all are so boring," he complained.
"Boring?" Yugi asked skeptically. Malik had some MAJOR issues
"Yes. Bo-ring."
"You're a self-centered bastard that needs mental help" Yugi retorted.
"Go to hell."
"Sure, but I'll be following you."
"Umm, boys? Can't we all just get along?" Tea spoke up.
"No," Yugi muttered.
"DAMNIT WOMAN, I'M A RAVING MANIAC! SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND STAY OUT OF MY DAMN FACE!" Malik yelled.
"Erm, scary?" Joey muttered nervously.
"Heh heh heh"Tristan muttered, staring at
"STOP STARING AT MY ASS YOU PERVERT!" Ka-SWAP! "THAT WILL TEACH YOU!"
"HAA HAA HAA! TRISTAN JUST GOT HIS ASS KICKED BY TEA!" Joey yelled, pointing at the red handmark on Tristan's face.
"Shut up."
"You perverted." Tea sputtered, unable to express her anger in words. So, the next best thing to vent out ones anger would be through violence
"OW! TEA, THAT OW HURTS! STOP HITTING ME!"
"Huh. Now this is entertainment," Joey muttered, watching Tea beat the crap out of Tristan.
"Well, er, since you all seem to be getting along very *cough* well, I'll just be leaving now"
With those words, Bakura bolted for the door, faster then he ever had run in his entire life.
"Wow they are all crazy," He muttered, closing the door behind him. As he turned to walk down the front steps, the clouds suddenly opened up and a ticked off girl with puppy ears floated down.
"Umm that was random," Bakura stuttered. The girl flicked her short purple hair and glared at him.
"When did I say that you could leave?" She inquired, with a vein popping out of her forehead.
"Um, permission to leave where? And who are you?" Bakura asked. He had been slowly backing away from her the entire time. (could be something to do with the fact that she had been flexing her claws continually since she landed)
"Oh, how rude. I'm Ave, your guardianer, angel, I guess."
"Angel? If you're an angel, then why do you have puppy ears? And a tail?"
"I don't know why I have dog ears and a tail," she shrugged, "It's just how I am. Now tell me- why did you leave?"
"Well, Malik's trying to kill Tea, and Joey slapped Tea's ass and so she slapped him then started to hit him Hey, are you listening?"
"What?" she asked, shaking out of a daze, "Yea, I'm listening. It's just when you said Malik*SIGH*"
"Do you know him?" Bakura asked, interested.
"Well, not personally, but I've been watching him for some time now its those wonderful violet eyes, I know it"
Bakura sweatdropped.
"Well, don't listen to me ramble. I've come to send you on a quest!" she proudly announced.
"Q-quest?" Bakura stammered. What the hell was going on?
"You my boy are going on a quest to get*drumroll* THE PERFECT SAKE!"
"You want me to get you liquor? But I'm underage!" Bakura was at a loss. He never expected to have a guardianwhatever she was and he definitely didn't expect any form of a celestial body to be drinking wine!
"Yes, I want sake. Since every guardian is expected to have their Chosen perform a quest or task of some sort, you will be gathering a team together to find me THE PERFECT SAKE!"
Bakura stood there, staring at the beaming guardian. I'm a Chosen? What the hell is going on here?He wondered.
"So, since you seem to be at a loss to everything I've just said, will you accept this quest?"
"Uh, sure," Bakura agreed, not at all sure what he just agreed to.
"Excellent!" Ave cheered, "Now, I will be visiting you in about a week. By then, I expect you to have a team of 5 people to help you. After I approve them, you'll be off!"
"Off," Bakura repeated, dazed, "Yes. Off to find THE PERFECT SAKE."
"Damn straight," Ave said proudly, "Bye now!"
She spread her pale wings and shot off into the clouds.
"That was different," Bakura said aloud.
* Back inside *
"PERVERT! Ka-swap! HENTI! Ka-swap! BASTARD! Ka-swap!"
"Tea? I think you've made your point" Yami spoke up, taking pity on Tristan.
"Nah, let her continue. This entertainment is more valuable then gold," Malik
grinned, clearly enjoying himself. The girl had been beating the shit out of this guy for the last 30 minutes and, Malik reflected, it had been most amusing to watch.
"Well, I think that is quite pathetic, if this is your idea of entertainment," Tea growled at him, "This creep looked at my ass!"
"Ooh, scary Tea gets ticked if someone looks at her ass," Malik sneered.
"If I got beat up that bad every time I looked at a girls ass" Yami muttered.
"I didn't know you were like that!" Yugi said, looking at Yami with surprise. Yami turned slightly red.
"Yea, wellI am a guy"
"I would hope so," Yugi grinned. Suddenly, Malik jumped up.
"SHIT!" He yelled, and ran out the door. Bakura had just fallen over in the middle of the walkway.
"Bakura you bastard! Get the hell up!" Malik yelled at him. Yugi, Yami and Joey had run outside, leaving Tea and Tristan inside to continue their one sided fight.
"Owwhat happened?" Bakura said groggily, siting up, "I had the weirdest dream some chick named Ave who had purple hair and was infatuated with Malik flew down from the sky and is sending me on a mission to find THE PERFECT SAKE"
Malik raised an eyebrow.
"Infatuated with me. Go figure."
"And then she told me that I have to get together a team of 5 by Friday so we can set off to find THE PERFECT SAKE" Bakura continued, ignoring Malik.
"You have to find the perfect drink? Why? So you can get wasted?" Joey grinned, "Cool!"
"How strange what did this girl look like again Bakura?" Yami asked.
"Well, she said that she was my guardian and I was her Chosen. She had short purple hair, puppy ears and a tail pale wings like an angels, um, she also had a robe on"
"Wow," Yugi gasped, eyes wide, "You were visited by an angel?"
"Heh, well, I don't exactly know what she is!" Bakura smiled.
"Well I think that this whole thing is ridiculous," Malik muttered angrily.
"Ridiculous or not I can't wait till next week!"
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A/n- This was random. Please R/R! *no flames, please*