Barefoot And Bruised

by The Last Letter

AU. Jude was twenty and not even thinking about love when he met Connor Stevens, a boy who took his heart almost immediately. But Connor has a past he still has to struggle with daily and resists falling in love, even as he and Jude grow closer. Even as it seems everything will be all right, Connor's past refuses to lie, and Jude finds himself in a battle with Connor's demons.

1. Prologue

For Moony – for everything; for the gift of a song.

"Connor. Connor! Come here!"

That voice. He loved that voice. Though the world around him was dark and endless, Connor took off running. He was always going to be drawn to that voice.

"Connor!"

Out of nowhere, something hit his face hard enough to knock him off balance. He tried to recover himself, but he couldn't. He was always left with disorientation.

"Connor."

He tried to say something, but he found himself unable to speak. He was choking. He was drowning. He fought for every breath. But he kept losing the fight. He couldn't win. Tears stung at his eyes. His fingers scrabbled at his throat, but there was nothing there.

He let out a squeak and then the voice was back, cooing his name in deep tones. Connor began to breathe again. He felt protected. He started walking forward again. He needed to reach the voice. He called out, but he made no sound. He shouted desperately. He felt himself begin to go hoarse, but, still, he could not be heard.

He began to shake as he could through the black, empty world. He couldn't see ahead or behind; it felt as if he hadn't moved at all. He began to despair when he heard his name; this time, the voice was closer than it had ever been before.

A few more steps. Connor could make it a few more steps for his beloved.

Connor felt his presence the moment he stepped into it. He reached forward and felt the familiar, broad arms encircle him. For the briefest moment, Connor felt everything he had ever wanted to feel. He felt loved and safe and appreciated and everything wonderful. He felt lips at his ear and he waited, anxious and trembling. He wanted to hear those precious, precious words: I love you too.

Instead, Connor heard what he always did.

"I fucking hate you, fag."

And he felt, instead of his dreamt about fairy tale kiss of a lover, the harsh nightmare kiss of a fist that made every bruise he'd ever had, bloom again.

(-.-)

Connor woke, shaking and sweaty in the bright hospital room. He puked in the nearest bin, tears soaking his face.

He was choking again, this time on a name.

"Jude," he howled, his voice full of heartbreak and regret. "Jude."

I know, I know, it's just a baby prologue! Don't worry – the next chapter will be out tomorrow and then we will continue updating every week on Fridays!

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~