A/N: Yes, I should be working on A Pair Of Fools, but I already had this written. It is still DGM, and still Allen and Neah, so is that any compensation? Anyway, enjoy! I'll try to write chapter five of APOF!
You're crying…
Why are you crying?
I did it for your own good, to Protect you. Why else would I? For bloodlust?
Now now, dry your tears, they weren't that important anyway… Yes, that's right. If not them then it would have been you, and I simply couldn't let that happen… Why? Because I love you, and so did brother. I promised brother that I would keep you safe.
…
Oh no, don't start crying again! I didn't mean to make you cry! Blame me all you like, if you must, but that would be the same as blaming yourself. Remember that… That's right, hush now, calm yourself. It'll be alright…
…
Oh now what is it! Haven't I done enough? You know I care about you, so isn't that all that matters? I mean- Who else was there?
…
The Bookman's Apprentice? But why? He probably didn't care about you anyway, Bookmen don't have attachments. What would make him an exception to that fact … The way he acted? But wasn't that just his persona? Was Lavi even his real name? I doubt it, don't you? And don't you ever remember how he acted in the end? "In the end, you're all just ink on a page." Are those the words of someone who cares? … That's right, they are not.
…
What about that samurai wannabe? You actually thought he cares about you? Excuse my tone, but even you should have seen the amount of hate he had directed to you. … Ah, I see, you're too innocent for your own good. Should I explain it? Alright, for one thing, the only thing you two did was bicker over the absolutely most trivial things. That's not even including all the times that you and he would break out in full-out fist fights! And if that wasn't enough, all he would ever call you were degrading terms. Did he even bother to learn your name? I'm fairly sure that he never did. Now tell me, is that how a person shows that they would fight for you? Because it's quite obvious- at least to me- that it is not. Anyone else?
…
Oh, don't even get me started on her. Now, even I have to admit that she was very pretty; like a butterfly. Butterflies don't last though, you know that, what would make her different? … She was kind? To who, to you? Don't make me laugh! Though she constantly preached the fact that the order was her family, where was she when you truly needed family? She wasn't by your side, that's for sure! Because -and I know you know this as well as I do- she, as Saint-like as she claimed herself to be, left you to rot. Left you to waste away in prison, one owned by the organization that you dedicated your life to! Is that what a person who loves you does? Is it? Is it?!
Did they care for you? Care for you when you were stuck in the deepest pits of despair? Fight for you? Fight for you when you were being dragged away to be executed? Love you? Did they ever love you? Even I don't know the answer to that one.
There you have it, your so called friends didn't do a good job now, did they? But I suppose you knew that. Yes, you probably did, you just didn't want to leave the fantasy you had created. Though, I can't blame you. No, I can't. Anyone would have done whatever they could to keep up the illusion of happiness, the illusion of sanity. Is that why? Do you believe you would you lose your right to a clear mind, if you didn't maintain a normal routine? I suppose that's understandable, you lost your sanity long ago so it's within reason that you tried to keep some reason.
But, do you believe that?
… … …
Ah, I thought as much. …Forgive me for asking, but what was the point?
…
You don't understand the question? Well, why? Why would you spend so much of your energy on people who left you behind in the end? Was there a point to it all? … For your sake, I hope there was. If there wasn't then…
But it's okay now. You don't have to worry about those things. They're gone now.
…
Oh, now I made you cry again. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blow up at you like that. It was uncalled for. …That's right, you don't have to cry. You don't have to feel this pain. I'll protect you from the hardships, from the harsh words, from the agony of loneliness, from your tears… Don't worry, I'll dry your tears.
You just have to let me
A/N: *sigh* This killed me a little bit on the inside. Poor Allen-Kun… Anyway, if you couldn't tell, this was written in Neah's point of view. It went off on a bit of a tangent, but it ended up being longer than my original draft. So this is kind of AU, sort of, ish. Well, I obviously don't own D. Gray Man, if I did this would be canon. Well, have a nice day
-Oyasumi~