AN: Do I suck? Yes I do! I have had no motivation whatsoever to write Mayday, but I'm starting another multichap story? Yep that makes sense! Gotta love that writer logic. Anyway, I like don't even know why I'm posting this cause I only have the one and a half chapters done, but hey in six days I'll hopefully be good. Well, this is an AU like MAJOR AU. This, like all my ideas, came to me way way way before the revival came out. Now that it's out, all my stories besides Seeing the Light and Listening with Their Hearts are like super AU. Then again, they always were kind of AU, but it really changed my other ideas that were just speculation. Anyway, here is the first chapter of Jane. Let me say it is very Jess centric this chap and for a while. Don't forget to review, enjoy, and have a great Thursday/Friday!
The first time she went to Stars Hollow she was three.
That was also the first time her mother had walked out on them (the first of many times), and her father had gone across the country looking for her. Jane didn't remember much of that trip to Stars Hollow, but she remembered her father being gone for two weeks. She remembered staying with her great-uncle Luke and her later to be great-aunt Lorelai. She remembered sleeping every night in their bed because she was scared and missed her daddy. She remembered playing with Steve and Kwan, and Davey and Martha. The worst thing she remembered though, was her father returning after those two weeks. He wore a torn expression, and in the back seat of his car was Jane's mother passed out drunk.
From then on, Jane and Jess spent every summer in Stars Hollow. It was the best way for them escape from Sandra and her druggy friends. Even at sixteen Jane didn't know why her dad still went after her mom. She kept running out on them, and she was always doing some drug or another, yet he always went out for her. It puzzled the girl to no end because she knew her father didn't love her mother, at least not anymore. He probably had once upon a time before she was born, but the minute her mother was found passed out on the floor with baby Jane screaming in a wastebasket he stopped.
He always said he felt responsible like he could save her or something like that. In her opinion, Jane thought her dad spent too much time trying to play hero and not enough time worrying about himself. Now she knew he got that from his uncle when he had taken him in when he was her age. It still just made her a bit angry every time her dad searched across the country for her mother. Sandra didn't deserve her father, and she most definitely didn't deserve his kindness. Jess was too forgiving with that woman. He let her walk in and out of their lives because he thought he could get her on the right track or that Jane needed her mother. Sure, she needed a mother, but not that one.
Jane's worst memory of her mother so far had been earlier that year, the last time she had seen her mom. Stars Hollow had always been her safe haven; her home away from home; the place her mother could never touch. So, the second she got her driver's license, Jane took off to Connecticut and the town that was far away from her mother's junky life. She hadn't told her dad, just packed her bags and left. Much like her mother had done to her too many times to count. She had shown up at Luke and Lorelai's in an oversized Penn State sweatshirt, and a duffel bag swung over her shoulder.
A week later, her mother had shown up without her father, forever ruining the town for Jane. Sandra had screamed at her for leaving without telling them, and the brown eyed girl bit her tongue incredibly hard to keep from shooting back about all the times she had left them without a trace, a call, an address, or a phone number. Plus, Jess knew where she was. Luke had called him within five minutes of Jane arriving at the Crap Shack. He hadn't told Sandra because he thought she had left for good the previous evening. She returned that morning after Jane left begging for money for her drug dealer. Jess had been denying her that for years, so he didn't know why she had shown up asking him. Then she noticed Jane was gone, and she went insane.
Jane ran her fingers across the long scar on her forearm from the razor blade her mother had "forgotten" was in her hand. She looked over towards Jess, who was driving, and noticed his grip on the wheel tighten when she touched the spot. He had never liked it when Sandra walked in and out of their lives. He hadn't liked her wanting to be involved with Jane at all, but had allowed it because he thought it would teach her to grow up like it had him. He had been so wrong, and it had only caused heartache for their daughter and for him.
Jane's brown eyes flicked to her dad's trusty iPod that sat in the unused ash tray of Matthew's old truck he had lent them. Jess had had to sell his car before they could move to Stars Hollow when Jane's mother had left with all the money he had to his name. She tenderly picked it up and scrolled through all the music he had downloaded over the years. Of course, there were his favorites like the Distillers (Jane always noticed the faraway glint in his eyes when one of their songs began to play), and a few for her like Miranda Lambert (through the years, Jane had decided that Miranda's songs about loss and heartbreak and people leaving really applied to her own life).
She had to admit that if there was one good thing about moving to Stars Hollow, it was the drive up there. When Jess grew tired or annoyed with traffic, Jane would take over. When she wasn't driving, she was choosing the music. The man currently driving had been pretty lenient about what music was chosen. If and when Jane did listen to country, it was always the loud songs that emulated a rock sound and the lyrics were all about people leaving. She felt like "Love Don't Live Here" had become her anthem song since the first time she could remember her mother leaving. Even though Jess normally hated country music, he had to admit that Jane had a point in her reasoning for listening to it.
The sign welcoming them to Stars Hollow was quickly approaching, and Jane's stomach churned with anxiety. She had loved Stars Hollow as a child with its charm and feeling like it was a completely different dimension and the fact that her aunt and uncle lived there, but it had been tainted the moment her mother had stepped across the city lines. Not to mention she didn't want to move away from all of her friends in Philadelphia and her father's partners who were like uncles to her. Jane sighed heavily as they passed the gazebo and saw happy families stepping out of the cold November air into warm shops.
The brunette shared a look with her father who only shrugged in reply. She grabbed her coat and slid out of the truck. She wobbled ungracefully on the salt that had been poured recently before carefully stepping up the ice steps to her great-uncle's diner. She glanced behind to see her dad slowly moving from the driver's seat, the expression he wore was tired and sullen, and he moved around to get a box or two. Jane pushed the door open, holding the door open as she waited for Jess, and was nearly knocked over by her Aunt Lorelai.
"Janie!" She exclaimed, wrapping the skulking girl into one of her fix it hugs. There was something about her Aunt Lorelai and her ability to easily change the mood in a room. She always brightened up Jane's day, and whenever her mother showed up out of the blue and high, Lorelai was the one she called. "I have missed you, Kid. Hopefully, your uncle will be less grouchy now that you and your dad are here!" She mockingly pointed at Luke, who rolled his eyes good naturedly before taking a random person's order.
They were interrupted by Jess grunting as he tried to push open the door and carry the boxes at the same time. In her natural Lorelai nature, the blue-eyed woman commented on how heavy that box looked before coming up with an excuse to get out of there. "Don't worry, Janie Lu, we'll do some serious pigging out tonight after work." She winked, and then Jane's aunt was gone. Lorelai brushed past Jess, trying to jokingly bump into him; but instead, it only caused him to lose his balance more and thrust the box in his arms towards Jane.
She grabbed it easily, but it was weighing her skinny frame down quickly. Luke easily stepped in and saved his great-niece from toppling to the floor. When she was finally righted, Jane nodded thankfully towards her father's uncle and took her place at one of the bar stools. Jess looked at her with tired eyes, but said nothing about her defiant behavior. She had been acting moody since he announced the move, and she had every right to be; he should know better than anyone. But, he wasn't Liz, sending his kid off to his family member to straighten her out. No, he was doing this for her, so she could have the life she deserved. His motives were purely self-less while his mother's had been purely selfish.
So, Jess allowed the crazy people that were Stars Hollow's residents to bombard his daughter. Two people could play this game. His supposedly good idea of a form of punishment was foiled when he returned downstairs to get another box, and Jane was happily smiling and chatting it up with all the weirdos that lived in this God-forsaken town.
"My, my. Jane, dear, you are absolutely gorgeous. Well, what else would you expect of Jess's daughter?" Miss Patty and Babette had flung themselves on either side of Jane. She smiled brightly at them; Jess hadn't seen that smile for a long time. "It's just marvelous how you've grown. Are you still dancing, dear? I would just die to have you in my class." The woman purred.
"Now that would be a show stopper. I can see it now: Jane and the Marionettes. I'm gonna get right on that." Kirk had apparently heard the conversation, and now had another money-making scheme off Jess's daughter. She tried to be annoyed, Jess could see how she wanted to be, but being in this town (no matter how much she claimed to not want to be there) always brought a smile to her face. Instead of telling Kirk to back off and that she wasn't going to let him 'make her big,' she smiled, albeit tightlipped, and forced a giggle.
"She's got the bum for it!" Babette exclaimed in her raspy voice. Jane's face went as read as her jacket. "Just so tight and compact. Who else has a butt like that?" She continued, even though Jane was obviously uncomfortable. She knew they were going to start talking about her father's and uncle's butts now, and that was one thing she didn't need to hear.
A crowd was now forming around Jane, and she tried to bask in it. She really did. She had always liked being the center of attention, it probably came with the mommy issues and the total abandonment she felt, and she had always gone about getting it in others ways that weren't acting out like her father had at her age. Although, the people were crowding and voices were shouting and it was all getting to be a little too much. She looked to Jess, panic evident in her eyes, but he only shrugged in response. This was her punishment for being an asshole from the moment she had taken the passenger seat.
"Hey, step away from the kid!" Someone shouted over the hoopla. The crowd parted like the red sea, and standing in the now open space was her Aunt Lane. Jane jumped off the barstool and allowed her other strong female role model to wrap her in a tight embrace. She turned back around after the hug and met her father's gaze. Her eyes were bright with triumph and haughtiness. She had beat the system. She always did.
Before anything else could be said, the Van Gerbig twins picked Jane up, causing her to shriek like a little girl. They laughed at her "misfortune" and continued to parade her around the diner. She kicked, yelled, punched, screamed, shoved, anything to get them to place her back down on her two feet. She knew they had picked her up on purpose. The twins had known of her fear of heights before she did, and even though she was only a few feet off the ground, Jane didn't like the felling of the air beneath her feat.
"I will kill you, Steve and Kwan! Put me down!" she screeched, throwing a strong punch at either one of the twins' faces. She didn't care if she actually hurt them, or which twin she hit. She just wanted to be put down. Finally, her fist found its mark; but when it collided with Kwan's face, his arms went up to his eye and she fell to the floor with a resounding thud. She huffed as her tailbone came in contact with the hard diner floor, but it didn't stop her from chasing after her best friends.
While her kids fought, Lane made her way over to Jess. There had been a time when she hated him (mostly for Rory's sake), but now he was up there close to best friend material. It had started the first time she had laid eyes on Jane—a small girl with a skinny little body that was in desperate need of food, her olive skin pale and blotchy, her hair matted after her mother had forgotten to give her a bath while Jess was away on business, a child who needed help—and she had told Jess that because she would help Luke and Lorelai with his kid didn't mean he could call her in the middle of the night asking for song recommendations (not like he needed them; if she was being honest, Lane was pretty sure he knew more than she did). Thirteen years later, here she, Lane Van Gerbig, was giving Jess Mariano a welcome home hug.
"You look like hell," she stated naturally like she was saying her house was dirty. Jess tried to smile but couldn't make it happen and sighed. Lane didn't look at him with pity like the other townspeople had. They all knew why he was back, and he could see them sending him apologetic looks when they saw his car. Lane looked at him friendly, a word she never would have used to describe their relationship back in 2002.
"Don't I know it," Jess muttered in response. The look Lane then gave him resembled pity, but it wasn't all there, and he could deal with her look. It was just the way the mental patients that resided here looked at him that made the anger he felt fester in his stomach. They looked at Jane that way too. They looked at the two of them like lost souls who were never going on the right track. It disgusted him and pained him at the same time. His daughter didn't deserve those looks.
His daughter didn't deserve any of this. She deserved the world; she deserved Penn State; she deserved anything but this rinky-dink town that no-one ever seemed to escape.
Well, except one person. One person who had gotten all she asked for, and more. Jess had heard she had a family now, she lived in Hartford and worked at a big newspaper, she didn't come home much, she was a society woman. Maybe, she hadn't escaped. In Jess's opinion, society was a lot worse than Stars Hollow which wasn't all that bad after he'd grown up. But she had left the town, and she had made a name of herself.
Jess watched as Jane's anger melted away to happiness, and she laughed a legitimate laugh for the first time in months. He hoped she could escape just like he hadn't.