Author's Notes: *gags* I'm sitting here watching Animal Planet... Wow... That's graphic... *stares
intently* YEAH YEAH! BITE HIM AGAIN!!! o_O;; Erm... I mean... *coughs* Anywho... I don't know what
possesed me to write this.... BUT I AM! I warn you though... This has NO plot, so you're
just wasting your time... Enjoy!!
It's Got Red-Eyes!!!
Rated PG
"Um... Usako...?" Mamoru croaked, desperatly trying to pull his hand away from his wife's
death grip. "Just breathe, baby. C'mon, you can do it. Push."
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?!!!" Usagi screeched, sweat dripping down her brow.
"YOU try passing a WATERMELON WHOLE and THEN tell me to PUSH!!!!"
The delivering rooms' accompiaments sweatdropped.
Chiba Usagi continued to verbally bash her husband (once in a while bonking him over the
head) to such an extent, she didn't even realize what had happened. The heaving blonde was cut
off as the sounds of ear-splitting crying burst throughout the room.
"She gets it from her mother..." the doctor muttered irritably. "Uh... I mean..." He
flushed, busying himself with cutting the cord and cleaning the baby.
"It's a girl...?" Mamoru sqwuaked.
"Of COURSE it's a girl, baka!" Usagi slapped her husband over the head. "How could you
forget a SPORE like Chibi-Usa?!"
Mamoru coughed. "Oh, right..."
"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Chiba," the nurse chirped. "Congratulations! It's a girl!"
Usagi shot a death glare in the direction of the nurse. "And you went to WHAT college?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"SWEET GOD!! MAKE IT SHUT UP!!!" Mamoru threw a pillow over his head, not sure whether he
should deafen himself or kill two birds with one stone and just suffocate.
"Go take care of her..." Usagi mumbled sleeply, not cracking open an eye.
"WHAT?" Mamoru bolted upright in the bed. "ME? I've been taking care of her ever since
we brought her home last week!!"
"I'm getting over a pregnancy, Mamo-chan," she cooed sleepily. "Please? For me?"
Mamoru's lids lowered over bloodshot eyes. "No." he grumbled.
"What do you mean 'no'?!!" Usagi hissed. Mamoru winced.
"Um... I mean, sure I'll take care of the baby, hunny!" Mamoru cleared his throat and
leapt from the bed to get away from Usagi's icy stare. He stumbled into the nursery, the screaming
child showing no mercy.
Mamoru eyed the screeching infant warily. There was something odd about this one... He
could feel it...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"It's got red eyes..."
"Don't call our daughter an 'it'!! And of course SHE has red eyes! You've seen Chibi-Usa HOW
many times? And she's THREE already, for God's sake!!"
"Usako... But... Their RED!!"
"You're so dense..."
"It can be good that it has red eyes!!"
"SHE, not an IT!"
"Pink hair, too... It's got red eyes and pink hair..."
"SHE SHE SHE SHE!!!"
"...."
"....?"
"It's the devil's offspring..."
"GAHHH!!!"
"I AM in the room you know!" Chibi-Usa snapped. Usagi and Mamoru both turned to her. Her
mother smiled in a motherly way (which was just kinder than actually saying 'We know you're the
Anti-Christ, but we love you anyway!'), but her father gawked oddly (which was the NOT so nice
way of saying 'IT'S GOT RED-EYES!!!).
"We need to talk, Usa..." Mamoru grumbled, storming off into the bedroom. Usagi sighed and rolled
her eyes.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You had an affair, DIDN'T YOU?!" Mamoru whined.
"Ha!" Usagi scoffed. "THAT'S a good one!"
"You DID!!!" Mamoru fell backwards onto the bed, utterly appalled.
"What?!" Usagi face-faulted. "No I did NOT!"
"Tell me!" he snapped, jumping up. "WHO'S the father?!"
"YOU, stupid!" the blonde spat.
"She look's NOTHING like me!!" Mamoru sniffled. "Please, Usako... TEEEEELLLL MMMEEEEEEE!!!!"
Usgai grimaced, clawing at her ears. After being married for three and a half years, it
was natural for Usagi to be rubbing off on her husband... Right...?
"YOU IMBOSILE!!" Usagi bashed her husband repeatedly over the head with a pillow. "SHUT
UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I did NOT have a passionate affair, OK?!"
"Oh...?" Mamoru glared at his wife out of the corner of his eye. "Was it just a luke-warm
affair then?"
Usagi scowled. "You're SOOOOOO stupid sometimes, ya know that?!"
Mamoru pouted. "Only sometimes?"
"You just made fun of yourself..." Usagi muttered, slapping her forehead. "I can't believe
you were just IDIOTIC enough to make fun of yourself."
Mamoru paused, racking his brain for a witty remark. But, of course, nothing came... Finally,
a few minutes later, Mamoru spoke.
"It's Rubeus', isn't it?"
"Mamo-chan... darling...?" Usagi plastered a sickingly sweet (yet fake) smile across her
lips. "How long ago did we defeat Rubeus?"
"Um... About five years ago..."
"Annnnndddd... When did we find out I was pregnant with Chibi-Usa?"
"Erm... A little over three years ago..."
"So, what conclusion have we come to?"
"You DID have an affair with Rubeus!!!"
Usagi threw her head back and screamed.
Author's Notes: And I wonder why they locked me up in the loonie bin... Well, that was pointless, huh?
I warned you... I told you not to read it... -_- But NOOOOOOO... Well, serves you right! Now
I've wasted a precious 10 minutes of your time when you could have been doing something more constructive!
MWWHHHAAAHHHAAAAHHHAAAHHAAAAAAA!!!
intently* YEAH YEAH! BITE HIM AGAIN!!! o_O;; Erm... I mean... *coughs* Anywho... I don't know what
possesed me to write this.... BUT I AM! I warn you though... This has NO plot, so you're
just wasting your time... Enjoy!!
It's Got Red-Eyes!!!
Rated PG
"Um... Usako...?" Mamoru croaked, desperatly trying to pull his hand away from his wife's
death grip. "Just breathe, baby. C'mon, you can do it. Push."
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I'M DOING?!!!" Usagi screeched, sweat dripping down her brow.
"YOU try passing a WATERMELON WHOLE and THEN tell me to PUSH!!!!"
The delivering rooms' accompiaments sweatdropped.
Chiba Usagi continued to verbally bash her husband (once in a while bonking him over the
head) to such an extent, she didn't even realize what had happened. The heaving blonde was cut
off as the sounds of ear-splitting crying burst throughout the room.
"She gets it from her mother..." the doctor muttered irritably. "Uh... I mean..." He
flushed, busying himself with cutting the cord and cleaning the baby.
"It's a girl...?" Mamoru sqwuaked.
"Of COURSE it's a girl, baka!" Usagi slapped her husband over the head. "How could you
forget a SPORE like Chibi-Usa?!"
Mamoru coughed. "Oh, right..."
"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Chiba," the nurse chirped. "Congratulations! It's a girl!"
Usagi shot a death glare in the direction of the nurse. "And you went to WHAT college?"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"SWEET GOD!! MAKE IT SHUT UP!!!" Mamoru threw a pillow over his head, not sure whether he
should deafen himself or kill two birds with one stone and just suffocate.
"Go take care of her..." Usagi mumbled sleeply, not cracking open an eye.
"WHAT?" Mamoru bolted upright in the bed. "ME? I've been taking care of her ever since
we brought her home last week!!"
"I'm getting over a pregnancy, Mamo-chan," she cooed sleepily. "Please? For me?"
Mamoru's lids lowered over bloodshot eyes. "No." he grumbled.
"What do you mean 'no'?!!" Usagi hissed. Mamoru winced.
"Um... I mean, sure I'll take care of the baby, hunny!" Mamoru cleared his throat and
leapt from the bed to get away from Usagi's icy stare. He stumbled into the nursery, the screaming
child showing no mercy.
Mamoru eyed the screeching infant warily. There was something odd about this one... He
could feel it...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"It's got red eyes..."
"Don't call our daughter an 'it'!! And of course SHE has red eyes! You've seen Chibi-Usa HOW
many times? And she's THREE already, for God's sake!!"
"Usako... But... Their RED!!"
"You're so dense..."
"It can be good that it has red eyes!!"
"SHE, not an IT!"
"Pink hair, too... It's got red eyes and pink hair..."
"SHE SHE SHE SHE!!!"
"...."
"....?"
"It's the devil's offspring..."
"GAHHH!!!"
"I AM in the room you know!" Chibi-Usa snapped. Usagi and Mamoru both turned to her. Her
mother smiled in a motherly way (which was just kinder than actually saying 'We know you're the
Anti-Christ, but we love you anyway!'), but her father gawked oddly (which was the NOT so nice
way of saying 'IT'S GOT RED-EYES!!!).
"We need to talk, Usa..." Mamoru grumbled, storming off into the bedroom. Usagi sighed and rolled
her eyes.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You had an affair, DIDN'T YOU?!" Mamoru whined.
"Ha!" Usagi scoffed. "THAT'S a good one!"
"You DID!!!" Mamoru fell backwards onto the bed, utterly appalled.
"What?!" Usagi face-faulted. "No I did NOT!"
"Tell me!" he snapped, jumping up. "WHO'S the father?!"
"YOU, stupid!" the blonde spat.
"She look's NOTHING like me!!" Mamoru sniffled. "Please, Usako... TEEEEELLLL MMMEEEEEEE!!!!"
Usgai grimaced, clawing at her ears. After being married for three and a half years, it
was natural for Usagi to be rubbing off on her husband... Right...?
"YOU IMBOSILE!!" Usagi bashed her husband repeatedly over the head with a pillow. "SHUT
UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I did NOT have a passionate affair, OK?!"
"Oh...?" Mamoru glared at his wife out of the corner of his eye. "Was it just a luke-warm
affair then?"
Usagi scowled. "You're SOOOOOO stupid sometimes, ya know that?!"
Mamoru pouted. "Only sometimes?"
"You just made fun of yourself..." Usagi muttered, slapping her forehead. "I can't believe
you were just IDIOTIC enough to make fun of yourself."
Mamoru paused, racking his brain for a witty remark. But, of course, nothing came... Finally,
a few minutes later, Mamoru spoke.
"It's Rubeus', isn't it?"
"Mamo-chan... darling...?" Usagi plastered a sickingly sweet (yet fake) smile across her
lips. "How long ago did we defeat Rubeus?"
"Um... About five years ago..."
"Annnnndddd... When did we find out I was pregnant with Chibi-Usa?"
"Erm... A little over three years ago..."
"So, what conclusion have we come to?"
"You DID have an affair with Rubeus!!!"
Usagi threw her head back and screamed.
Author's Notes: And I wonder why they locked me up in the loonie bin... Well, that was pointless, huh?
I warned you... I told you not to read it... -_- But NOOOOOOO... Well, serves you right! Now
I've wasted a precious 10 minutes of your time when you could have been doing something more constructive!
MWWHHHAAAHHHAAAAHHHAAAHHAAAAAAA!!!