AN: Hey everyone! So this is my first fanfic in at least a year so please be nice! There are going to be seven chapters (At the moment at least) and i am trying to write one everyday, so I should finish just before I have to go back to school! Like I said, I haven't done this in a while so I may be rusty but please bear with me because I can assure you it will get better as you we go along! I will try to post a new chapter tomorrow, or the day after... It depends what time I get back from my grandpa's (It is his birthday tomorrow). So yeah!

Summary: Fury is furious (as his name wold suggest) and orders the avengers to do something that each of the team finds relaxing. Mayhem ensues, along with a bit of romance, and Coulson is there to try and keep a sort of leash on the whole thing. yes, he is alive because really, could someone as sexy as that actually die? I don't think so! Some slash, Tony/Steve and some Clint/Everyone ( ;)Because yes!) and Clint/Natasha!

Disclaimer: I in no way own any of the Avengers, anything to do with Marvel comic rights etc etc. I think you all know the drill by now! I do own the plot line and the writing so please ask for my express permission before recreating any of my work.

If you don't like it, don't read it, there is no need to me mean!

Thanks for reading (if you did), I know it was a long one but should be shorter next time!
Eva
xxx

Massage

Bruce's POV

Bruce sighed against the thumping on his back and closed his eyes once more. This was his time. This was when he could clear his mind and just relax… The sweet aroma of lavender that always filled the room was like a switch in his brain. As soon as he entered the room and took a deep breath he knew that everything was all right, or at least for the moment it was.

"For God's sake! I do not see the point of this in the slightest! Why would anyone pay money to have elephants stampede over their back? Or any other part of the body for that matter! I just don't get it! In fact! I would go as far as to say that I don't understand any part of this exercise in the first place!"

"Tash… C'mon, the Director said that we had to do things to relax. Right now, it is Bruce's turn to pick so you need to grin and bear it. Just lie back and think of England!"

Muffled laughter filled the room and he sighed once more. Although this time it was in annoyance rather than satisfaction.

"Why on earth would I do that Clint? I am not some virgin debutante! And besides, every mission we have ever had in England has ended horribly wrong and caused almost all members of the teams to doubt their sexuality."

"I suppose John Barrowman does have that affect."

The room was silent for a few minutes after the giggles quietened down and the massage resumed. This was his escape, the way that he would always reconcile with his thoughts and feelings after letting the big guy have a go. Bruce had to admit, he was sceptical when Fury first suggested the idea… but now he relies on it completely. A massage is how he recharges and there are experts on board that can cater to all his needs. He rests his head on his hands and allows his mind to drift.

"You do realise that we are all naked right now…"

"Tony!"

The yells broke out all around the room and Bruce sat up. He could see Tony grinning at everyone from his bed in the far corner of the room and he had to work hard to not let out a growl.

"For once, Stark. Couldn't you just shut up and let the rest of us relax?"

"Like you can talk. You and Clint had that very insightful conversation earlier about a man in a sparkly suit who sleeps with anything that has a pulse. I don't see how that is connected in any way to the relaxing properties of a massage!"

"Well done Steve, you just successfully confirmed that you are indeed Tony's little… friend…"

"Just back off him bird man!"

Oh God! This was steadily turning into a Tony Vs Natasha war with Steve denying any sort of sexual relationship with the former and Clint just embarrassing them all with his outstanding knowledge of sexual innuendoes. Bruce locked eyes with Coulson across the room and rolled his eyes. Coulson nodded and then they both looked to Thor disbelievingly. He was somehow managing to stay asleep despite the racket. They had all filled his nostrils with glue earlier on this morning in an effort to stop his snoring. It appeared to have worked but now there was a mosquito like drone in the background which was making everyone on-board the helicarrier cranky.

Bruce sighed again. The racket was getting steadily louder and it was getting harder for him to bury the 'other guy' down deep in his consciousness.

"Oh yeah? Black Widow? You think you could handle this? This sexy little thing right here?"

Tony had stood up and was gesturing to himself in a, what Bruce supposed he thought was a very erotic way, but in reality was just scary and a complete turn off.

"Right! That is it! All of you just shut up! I don't care how much you dislike the scent of lavender, or Clint's John Barrowman tales, or even hot women stroking your backs. I have had enough of your incessant babbling and constant arguing. We all know what happened last week and the director has given us this task, in mission status! That means we have to do this as f it were a mission! Today was Bruce's turn to show us all what he does when he relaxes. Next week it will be Thor's. End of discussion."

Ah… Good old Coulson. Always knowing exactly what to say in order to shut everyone up.

"Well it wasn't really a discussion, was it…"

"Just shut up Tony."

Bruce tried to sink under once more but it just wasn't working. "Fantastic! Thanks guys! I'll try not to eat you next time we have an unplanned incursion but it is not as if anyone would blame me!"

With that, Bruce stormed out of the room and back to his quarters.

"Well, that was dramatic. If Thor is going next, when is my turn?"

"Oh just shut up Tony."

There was a moment of silence before Tony started giggling manically.

"No. In fact, I am just going to leave before I can be dragged into doing something stupid, like wearing a pink tutu."

"But you looked so good in it!"

Coulson gave Clint a withering look as he stalked out of the room.

"So… what's the plan?"

Five hours later…

"Just wait till I find you! You worthless man of iron! You pig-nosed son of a whore! You cowardly excuse for a warrior! You will pay for your most grievous sins!"

Thor had just woken up, handcuffed to the bed, covered in sparkles and pink feathers that seemed to be resistant to lightening and extremely naked.

"Damn you!"

AN: I hope you enjoyed it! Please review! It will motivate me to actually finish!