Brutal Legend: Priestess of Metal
By: BlurtheHedgehog
Disclaimer: BlurtheHedgehog does not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic nor does he own Brutal Legend. They belong to their respective owners and subsidiaries.
Summary: Eddie Riggs, the roadie god, has always felt out of place in the so called modern times. What if another felt as he does? Enter Vinyl Scratch, priestess of metal. Seemingly cursed with the worst roadies of all time. Read on as the chosen of the titans meet for the first time.
Chapter one: god and priestess meetThe warehouse was jam packed with a smoky haze in the air. The stage was setup like an old fashioned temple, the perfect setting for the concert that was about to play. Behind the scenes was a rather muscular man sitting down working on a guitar. He wore dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt and a black leather vest. On his wrists were leather bands. The band on his left arm had metal spikes. His belt buckle looked like a smaller version of the beastly statue that made up the main back drop for the stage. He was trying to get over his outrage when the source of it arrogantly walked in. Three of the band members walked in and the one clad in red thought he was funny.
"Hey yo dude check it." He laughed as he then feigned shock at seeing the dark clad man with the guitar. "Oh hey Eddie, sorry about smashing your guitar last night." His taunting laughter was cut off when Eddie held the fixed guitar up.
"Whoa, it's like new." The heavily pierced fool stated in awe.
"Dude, how did you do that?" the red clad fool.
Eddie was angry that the fool had so callously destroyed a work of art like that. He was even angrier when the red clad punk said, "I promise not to smash it up … so badly this time."
"Dude quit messing with him," the white clad bassist growled with more out of self-preservation than anything else. "He scares the crap out of me." Eddie growled and hoped to hell no one had a situation like his.
Meanwhile in an alternate dimension, a white unicorn with a neon blue mane and tail bobbed her head as she went to check her stage. She was in an extremely good mood her concert was sold out. She passed a poster that showed herself behind a set of turntables. Her picture like herself had on a pair of rose colored lensed sunglasses that hid her blood red eyes. Around her neck was a very familiar looking necklace. The priestess of metal saw her name in big letters, the name of Vinyl Scratch. However, her mood took a nose dive when she saw her stage.
"Why that stupid mother (This fan fiction contains adult language, do you want to read it? Yes!) Fucking piece of shit!" vinyl growled out as she beheld her stage. It was full of cabbages, white fences and cutesy anime themes. She knew of only one pony that thought he had the balls to do this to her. Like an angry ghost, she slunk and sneaked her way through the towers of shipping and equipment containers until she found her prey. Sitting in what he thought was his sanctuary, drinking heavily and talking trash with his fellow roadies, was the brown earth pony known as Pre-fab.
"PRE-FAB!" vinyl shouted as her magic ripped open a path to the insolent fool. Sensing their chances of survival, his fellow roadies faded into the background and left pre-fab to deal with what one could only describe as a demon from Tartarus itself.
"Come with me." Vinyl hissed as she used her magic to drag the hapless fool to certain doom. "What the hell were you thinking when you made that?"
"W-well you s-see…" pre-fab stuttered as visions of a horribly bloody death floated through his mind.
"We need a stage that speaks more toward our tween demographic, you know?" a man in white suit and half opera mask said to Eddie. "I mean, no disrespect meant, you are the best roadie in the biz. You can find, build and fix anything. The manager wants us to update our image." He looked up from his mobile device and saw the hostile vibes Eddie was giving off. He sighed turning his phone off and said, "Sooner or later you are going to have to join the modern world man." The fool then ran to the stage where he addressed the crowd.
"Do you ponies want to hear some heavy metal?" vinyl shouted from her booth. The crowd cheered as she adjusted the volume and bass settings. The music thumped out as it filled the warehouse with an energy that some would describe as holy. The sound waves shook the stage causing it to creak and groan. None heard the warnings as they were drowned out. As the music played, vinyl's thoughts turned inward. Deep down she felt out of place like she was meant to have been born sometime else, when the music was real.
"Like the seventies?" a man wearing a false-fur lined vest asked Eddie as they cringed at how bad the band was.
"No man," Eddie said turning to his friend, "More like the early seventies."
"Oh no." the roadie groaned.
Eddie looked up and saw what the problem was. It was the one who had broken Clementine the night before. He was dancing on the decorative background piece. Eddie growled out, "I told you not to climb on it you stupid mother fucking piece of shit."
"Please don't let this fall." Pre-fab begged as he tried to fix the crumbling stage. He knew vinyl would be even more pissed if the stage collapsed on top of her. He worked feverishly fix the stage but he knew he failed as a roadie.
'A good roadie knows his job is to make someone else look good.' Eddie remembered his dad use to say as he begrudgingly ran in to save Clementine and the fool. 'Keep someone else safe. Help someone else do what they were put here to do. A good roadie stays out of the spotlight.' Eddie swiftly cleans up the beer bottles and trash from the electronics. 'If he's doing his job right, you don't even know he's there.' The fool let go of the guitar trying to get a better hand hold. As it fell Eddie caught it and placed it in the tusks of the great beast. 'Once in a while, he might step on to the stage just to fix a problem – to set something right.' The fool couldn't hold on any more and fell to his doom. That is if Eddie hadn't caught him before he hit the ground. 'Then before you know even realize he was there, or what he had done, he's gone.' Eddie quickly set the fool down and steps back into the shadows just as the structure falls on him.
"He is so fucking dead." Vinyl groaned as the weight of the stage piece pressed on her. The screen splits and merges as the blood of Eddie and Vinyl drip down into the mouths of their respective adornments. A heat haze rose up from the stage as both the failed band and roadies found themselves staring at creatures they had never seen before.
"GRROOAAAR!" A roar of doom was heard from the rubble. A light like that of an erupting volcano shined from under the heap. The flotsam soon found itself air born as a great beast of molten iron and chrome burst forth from the floor. Searing breath escaped its fanged maw. The stage lights shined off its tusks and tail pipe dorsal adornment. The great beast looked down at its sumoners before lifting his head. Before him was a group of ants cowering before his majesty. Some ants had enough brain cells to flee.
"What is that thing?" the drummer whimpered as he held onto Pre-fab. The two cowered behind the drum kit and watched the beast point at the two, most likely dead, bodies in front of him. (This fan fiction contains scenes of an intensely gory nature. Would you like to read them? Yes!) The monster then unleashed another roar of doom that caused the heads of the others to pop off like dandelions in a fountain of blood. The beast stiffened for a second and turned to the last remnants of the band and roadies.
"I should have quit while I had the chance." Pre-fab whimpered as the drummer held his drumsticks up like a cross. This action was a futile effort as the god like entity before them splattered them with its massive fist. The beast then scraped the bodies and mangled instruments out of the way as he lay Eddie and Vinyl where the dead ants once were. The beast roared out and the crowd before him cheered with an intensity to match and then the world was black.
"My head." Vinyl groaned as a droning hum met her ears.
"Tell me about it." Eddie said as he took in his surroundings. He then looked to where the female voice came from and saw vinyl sitting next to him. "Whoa, freaky horse."
"Whoa, freaky monkey." Vinyl answered smugly. She then took in her surrounding and saw that they were in a temple. The focal piece was a statue that looked like her necklace. Below the dais was a group of monks sitting semicircle around a sword and axe.
"The day has finally come for us to serve our masters." The one in the middle droned.
"Hey," Eddie laughed nervously as he and vinyl jumped down, "We're not your masters."
"I'm getting a bad vibe from these guys." Vinyl said as she looked at the monk's twisted swords.
"No you are not." The leader growled as he and the others drew their swords. They started to move toward them with killer intense. Vinyl unleashed her Taser spell that forked out and struck the swords and electrocuted the monks.
"That's not stopping them." Eddie said as he backed up a little.
"Nothing is stopping you from coming up with ideas." Vinyl growled under the strain of the spell.
"We need weapons." Eddie stated. He then looked toward the axe and ran for it. The moment his hands touched it he could feel this battle instinct kick in. he raised the flame adorned blades above his head with a cheer. (The Separator! Touch not this awesome axe or suffer the wrath of the Tainted Coil.) "Hey pony girl!" Eddie shouted gaining Vinyl's attention. He then kicked the lightning shaped weapon toward vinyl who caught it in her magic. (The Sky Cleaver! This wicked blade is said to cleave the heavens themselves.)
"Yeah this will work." Vinyl chuckled as her blood cried out for battle. She swung the blade to block an enemy's sword. The two blades clashed knocking the monk back creating an opening for vinyl. She then spun counterclockwise hacking his head off. Blood fountained out of the wound as the body fell to the ground. "Keep it together vinyl." She reprimanded herself as she fought the urge to barf.
"Don't feel too bad." Eddie said as he hack a monk in twain. "This is the first time I have killed as well." In the haze of battle they did not realize that they had moved away from the dais. Eddie then noticed a flash of light and a scream of agony. He turned to the source and saw one of the monks touching his Clementine. "Hey," he roared as he ran up the steps, "Get away from that guitar, I just tuned that thing." He then split the monk from head to crotch. "Oh man do you even still work." He gasped as he pick up the instrument. He then played a few notes and heard screams of pain. (Clementine! A humble guitar back home. The power of her rock seems to be amplified by the world itself.)
"Rock on monkey boy!" vinyl shouted as she pulled from her personal hammer space storage a wicked looking guitar. It looked like a pair of four pointed stars hooked together by a black bar. The smaller star had the top two points curved upward while the larger star had the points curved in both directions. (The War Beast! An heirloom from a time long ago. This mighty guitar can channel the wrath of the titans.) She hit a minor power chord that caused the ground to erupt in fire throwing the hapless monk into the air. She then jammed a little as she electrocuted him as he fell.
"Nice shred work." Eddie stated as he got back to back with vinyl. "I know this might seem like a really bad time to ask but who are you?"
"Vinyl Scratch," she proclaimed proudly. "DJ and priestess of metal." She blocked a monks strike perfectly causing him to reel back to give Eddie a chance to chop him off at the waist.
"Eddie Riggs," he answered as he shred the frets. "Some have called me the god of the roadies."
"Hey Eddie," vinyl growled as she remembered the dead bastard that caused her stage to fall on her. "No offence meant but I don't have a very good view point on roadies at the moment. Damn asshole thought he could do a piss poor job and score booze on my tab."
"My dad would most likely come back from the grave to kick my ass if I ever did that to someone." Eddie groaned as he realized that she had the same experience he did only in reverse. "I can't help but notice that this place has no doors."
"Hah, like that would really stop a couple of metal heads like us." Vinyl laughed as she set up for a bass heavy power chord. (Earth Shaker! This power chord will blow everybody away and bring down the house.) Eddie noticed her stance and prepared an earth shaker of his own. "LET'S BRING THE HOUSE DOWN!" Vinyl screamed as she and Eddie jumped into the air. To those on the outside, the building seemed to explode outward. As if the great beast expelled the offending structure in a bid for freedom. The temple was sitting on top of a massive pile of bones. Climbing up the skeletal path was a vehicle that looked like a cross between a spider, hot rod and an altar.
"Alright lady or whatever you are," Eddie growled as the rider came into view, "You may look like a nun but we all know you're just some big ugly demon now let's have it."
"Oh yeah," vinyl stated as the nun like creature turned around to reveal a giant zipper like face. "That is definitely a demon."
"Kind of sexy though in a weird way." Eddie said as the demon stood and strode forward in a seductive manner. Her body would have made any human model green with envy. She also had long sharp index fingers.
"Do you not have any standards!" vinyl shouted as she whacked her hoof against the back of Eddie's head. The nun then unleashed a banshee like wail that held enough kinetic force to push Eddie and Vinyl back. "Sweet Celestia, say it don't spray it lady!"
"Didn't we get rid of these dudes already?" Eddie asked looking around after the wail. The wail had summoned more monks. Vinyl and Eddie became blurs of motion as they started to fight again. Flying limbs and showers of blood painted a gruesome scene on the stones around them. After the fifth time the nun wailed Eddie growled, "I'm getting fucking sick of her doing that!"
"I got this Eddie." Vinyl stated as she ran at the nun. She used the collapsing body of one of the monks as a spring board to propel herself into the air. During her assent she drew her sword till the tip was even with her eye. With a heavy grunt she thrust the sword into the nun's mouth. "Shut the fuck up lady!" she growled at the apex of her arc. She twirled in the air and landed on her hooves. She yanked her sword handle toward her, splitting the nun's head in half. With the battle over, vinyl felt she could finally let her body do what it was threatening to do. A sickly green bile sprayed from her mouth as she evacuated the contents of her stomach.
"I think I heard somewhere that killing a nun was bad luck." Eddie said as vinyl finished spewing all over the place. "We should probably get out of here." He and vinyl ran up to the spider alter to see if they could use it to get off the corpse pile. Eddie knelt down to see if he could get it to move.
"Let me try something Eddie." Vinyl said after ten minutes of nothing happening. She levitated Eddie behind her and placed her hooves on the tome. She channeled her magic into it and the spider alter started to walk.
"Wow," Eddie stated as they made their way down the corpse pile, "You are surprisingly better at this than I am." A momentary ego boost later, the spider alter crashed at the bottom of the pile. "I hereby retract my previous statement." Eddie groaned as he picked himself off the floor.
"If you were left in the driver's seat," vinyl growled back, "We would still be up there." She then looked around and saw a whole bunch of monks. "You guys again!" she growled as she drew her sword.
"Let's shake things up." Eddie stated as he pointed at the hanging engines. Just as they did with the temple, Eddie and vinyl jumped into the air and struck a bass heavy power chord. The giant metal constructs fell and crushed the monks under their weight.
"Whoops, missed one." Vinyl stated as a monk approached from behind them. She and Eddie then swung downward at the monk's head only for it to block with two daggers shaped like ravens. The impact caused the hood to be removed to reveal…
"Ah man," Eddie said in shock, "Don't tell me we have been slaying hot chicks this whole time." The one that stood before them was a human female with long dark brown almost black hair.
"Those were definitely dudes we were chopping up." Vinyl replied as she cocked an eyebrow.
"That axe," the woman said as she beheld the weapons that vinyl and Eddie were holding. "That sword, so you have come for them as well."
"We didn't come for anything, lady." Vinyl growled as she impaled a monk when it tried to stand without looking.
"We were just standing there when these guys jumped us." Eddie stated as he swung his axe behind him killing a monk.
"You handle them very naturally." The woman said with a bit of awe. She noticed Vinyl tilt her head to the side and stabbed behind her right shoulder.
"I think it might be a dormant battle instinct." Vinyl said as she slowly spun the blade in front of her. "Because we never touched one of these before."
"We should probably get going before more of these dudes show up." Eddie stated as his common sense decided to actually work for once.
"Agreed," the woman said as she and the duo made a break for the gate. "We do not want to be here when he arrives." (Double Team! Cooperation is the key to victory! Join forces with your allies to perform unique power attacks.) The group then encountered more nuns and monks.
"And 'he' would be …?" vinyl asked as she hopped onto Eddie's shoulder and tossed like a buzz saw blade.
"Emperor Deviculous." The raven hair woman growled as she plunged her daggers into a monk's head. "He's the one in charge of all these demons."
"Why would he be pissed at us?" Eddie asked as he lifted the woman into his arms.
"We're slaughtering his personal guard." She replied as she barrel rolled through the air.
"Yup that would do it." Vinyl stated as she created a sonic shield with her magic. "This is probably really lousy timing but who are you?"
"My name is Ophelia," the raven haired woman stated, "I work with a group of humans looking to free our people." She then regarded the pony for a moment, "We may have a few of your kind seeking to be free of the oppressive grip of the demons." She watched as Eddie smacked a monk with the flat part of his axe into another monk. "We need to get to the gate before more of these demons show up."
"I think it is a little late for that." Vinyl stated as she looked through the viewing hole in the door.
"Yeah." Eddie said as he also spied the army marching toward them. "That's a lot of dudes." A monk roared and tried to rip Eddie's face off. "Ah shit!" he shouted just as Ophelia stabbed the demon in the hand and pinned it to the wall. "So what is this place anyway?" Eddie asked looking around.
"This is the temple of Ormagodan." Ophelia stated backing away from the door. "A place of great and ancient power. No one knows its true purpose."
"Hey Eddie," vinyl shouted from the obelisk, "Check out this carving." She pointed at the glowing markings. "I'm not too sure but this reminds me of a song sheet." (Relic Raiser! A rare vine grows wherever the land is steeped in legend. Play this solo nearby to unearth ancient secrets.)
"You're right," Eddie stated as he rubbed his hand on the carving. "It is a song sheet."
"I don't think a song is going to help us escape." Ophelia stated.
"We beg to differ." Vinyl stated taking out her war beast. Eddie held his guitar and saw that lightning arched between them. They played the song they just read and a huge explosion of light and sound ended the performance.
"What have you done?" Ophelia asked as alters rose from the floor.
"We just created beauty just by rocking out, that's all." Eddie stated admiring his handy work.
"These things remind me of an automatic chariot I saw at a tech expo in Cantorlot." Vinyl said looking at the car parts. "I think these might be just the thing to get out of here."
"Time to shine." Eddie stated as he cracked his knuckles and started to gather the parts. He built the car in record time.
"This is awesome!" vinyl stated as she walked around the car. She then raised an eyebrow when she saw the interior. "Yo Eddie, where am I gonna sit?" he walked over and thumped the back and a bench seat unfolded. "I retract the question."
"How is this going to get us out of here?" Ophelia asked as Eddie got into the driver's seat.
"Easily," Eddie stated as he put his seat belt on. "I'll show you how it works. First thing you do is shift it into…" his train of thought got derailed as he saw Ophelia had discarded the red monk robe to reveal her actual attire. "Whoa ho, ho, ho hello." She was wearing a black T-shirt, jeans and sneakers. She also wore spiked bracelets and belt. "I think this thing is working already." Eddie stated thinking how much better she looked.
"Hey Eddie," vinyl shouted as she smacked Eddie upside the head, "Strip her with your eyes later. We got to get out of here, remember?"
"Oh, right, sorry." He said as he turned the key getting the engine to roar to life.
"Have you awakened the great beast himself?" Ophelia asked startled by the sudden and loud noise.
"I certainly hope so." Eddie said as he revved the engine with a smirk on his face.
"Hop in raven girl," Vinyl cheered as she patted the car seat in front of her. Ophelia looked hesitant for a couple more second before hopping in next to Eddie. "This is going to be awesome!" (The Deuce AKA The Druid Plow! A temple on wheels. This gift from the titans can only be assembled by the worthy.)
The advancing horde of demons halted in their tracks when they heard the mighty roar of the great beast. Moments later the door to the temple burst open as a creature of steel charged out of the structure with two humans and an equine riding inside of it. Demon after demon was crushed under the weight of the all-powerful force of nature and those that tried to dodge to the sides were cut down by the sword wielding pony. The cheerful voices of the riders were only matched by the agonized screams of their victims. Ophelia decided to voice her concerns, "I hope this thing can get us to the feeding area before the gate closes."
"Feeding area?!" Vinyl asked/shouted after hearing that.
"What the hell are they feeding anyway?" Eddie asked trying to keep his eyes on the road.
"If we get there fast enough we may not have to find out." Ophelia stated as she stabbed a monk that was holding on to her side.
"Hey," vinyl asked seeing a giant walking cage, "What is with the crazy legs?"
"They've called in reinforcements." She stated then looked worried, "Why such a large force?"
"Maybe because we're bad asses!" Eddie exclaimed as he ran over a demon nun. "Or maybe emperor what's-his-name has something against you."
"You know," vinyl said nervously, "We haven't mentioned it yet but this place is nuts!"
"Yes these are indeed dark time for our land." Ophelia lamented. "But there are a few of us fighting to change the way things are." She turned to her potential new allies, "Is that why you have come? Are you here to help in the fight to liberate humanity?"
"That is the best explanation I've heard so far." Eddie said with a nod. The druid plow took a large jump off a ramp and landed in front of a large gate. However it had closed and a group of monks approached them. "Oh come on! I'm getting really fucking sick of you guys." An idea came to him, "Hey, while I'm dealing with these fools, how about you find a way to get that gate open."
"She's way ahead of you Eddie." Vinyl stated pointing at the climbing form of Ophelia. "Let's run these demons over!"
"Man, you girls are awesome!" Eddie stated as he revved the engine. He drove forward and pinned one of the demons under his car and then executed a doughnut maneuver to grind the others with the back tires. As the last monk was turned into paste, a long spikey tentacle rose out of the center of the area. Eddie had just lit a cigarette when the massive appendage came into his field of vision. "Oh sorry." He said as the toothy thing sniffed the corpses, "Did you know those dudes?" The beast roared at Eddie.
"Punch it Eddie!" Vinyl shouted as Eddie jumped into the driver's seat. He drove around the area with the giant beast following his every move. The monster roared and reared up and vinyl shouted, "It's going to smash us!"
"Not on my watch!" Eddie stated as he hit the nitro. Flames erupted from the tail pipes and the car sped up at an alarming rate. The speed was enough to cause the beast to miss them. "Ha, ha," Eddie taunted as he turned the car around, "Didn't see that coming, now did you?"
"Let's turn those tongues into road kill." Vinyl shouted as she held her sword out. Eddie hit the gas and charged at the stuck beast just close enough for vinyl to cut the tongue. "Keep that ugly muscle in your mouth next time!" she cheered as the monster roared in pain.
"I think we made her mad." Eddie stated as he continued to drive around. The beast followed them while growling at them. The giant creature soon reared back again determined to crush the little pests. "I can't believe you fell for that twice." Eddie laughed as he just barely dodged the mouth of the monster. Trapped once more the monster was helpless as the druid plow drove by and the white equine slashed another tongue.
"Ya like that miss licky!" vinyl cheered as Eddie drove around the monster. The creature was now in a full blown rage. "Once more with feeling Eddie!" Vinyl shouted as the monster prepared for another attack. A boost of nitro later and the beast was struggling once more. This time Eddie and Vinyl exited the car and walked up to the monster. "Scissor Chop!" Vinyl stated as she and Eddie swung their weapons and cut the final tongue.
"HA!" Eddie cheered as the monstrous worm flailed in agony. "You'll never French kiss again!"
"What's French kissing?" Ophelia asked as she came over to tell her companions that she opened the gate.
"How about we explain after we are safe from getting devoured by a hideous tentacle monster?" Vinyl suggested pointing her sword at the gate. However, said monster was not quite done with its prey yet. It reared up and roared again spraying the trio in spit and blood.
"What was that?" Eddie taunted hold a hand to his ear, "I couldn't understand you. It's like you got a lisp or something."
"Over here you foul smelling worm!" Ophelia shouted catching the monster's attention. "Face me so that…" the monster pinned her against the outer gate, "…I may whet my blade on your putrid entrails." She viciously stabbed and slashed the monster with little effect.
"Hey leave her alone!" Eddie shouted.
"Let's rock the house and take its head off." Vinyl stated pointing at the engines. The duo performed another Earth Shaker and broke the rusted chains.
"Decapitation!" Eddie cheered as the gate slammed down on the monster's neck. "There, it is dead." He turned toward Ophelia, "Now you fair lady, I will…"
"Get us the hell out of here before we are attacked again." Vinyl interrupted as the beast started to get back up and break the gates. It soon broke free and thrashed about. From the other side of the collapsing gate it appeared that the heroes were crushed by the debris. "Woo hoo!" vinyl cheered as The Deuce roared out of the wreckage.
"Hang on girls." Eddie shouted as he drove down the collapsing bridge.
"Burn rubber, Eddie!" vinyl shouted back, "Or else we won't have any road to escape with." The car rocketed down the road with Eddie steering clear of the hole that were appearing.
"Alright," Eddie stated as the final legs of the journey came up. "One last jump." They took it only to find one more. "Oaky one more and put your hands and hooves up for this one!"
"Wow!" Ophelia said with an excited look on her face.
"So you like the car?" Eddie asked with a smirk.
"Yeah." Ophelia said caressing the door on her side. "I can't wait to show it to Lars."
"Better luck next time buddy." Vinyl said patting Eddies shoulder as he lost his smirk.
"We should probably keep moving." Eddie sighed returning to the task of driving.
(End of chapter.)