Chapter 1
Spock was grateful for the warning he had received from his brother-in-law, Laurence Fielding. In the dark period following Lauren and Teresa's murders, Spock deleted hundreds of phone and subspace messages without viewing them. Only now, months later, he was finally bringing himself to contact everyone whose calls he had previously ignored. Thanks to Father Fielding, he was not surprised by the hostile woman staring at him from the phone screen. But because his mother-in-law had always treated him so kindly, it was rather difficult to assimilate the change.
"Elizabeth," Spock began, choosing his words carefully, "I should have offered you my condolences long before now. Lauren was your daughter; Teresa, your granddaughter…"
"I know who they were," she broke in. "Unlike you, I went to their funeral, along with everyone else who gave a damn about them."
Spock had anticipated this. He thought it wise to agree with her. "It would have been better if I had gone, but madam, I assure you—"
"It would have been better," she said hotly, "if you had not endangered their lives—if you had not taken that disturbed young Vulcan into my daughter's home. It would have been better if—for once—you had thought of your family instead of that Yanashite cult that absorbs so much of your precious time."
Her words stirred the ache of regret that was still so very fresh. He faced Lauren's mother in guilty silence.
"Now," she said, "that you have suddenly remembered Teresa has a brother, what do you intend to do with him?"
The question startled Spock. "With James?"
"Lauren called him Jamie. Everyone calls him Jamie, but you. Can't you even show your son that much affection? But never mind—I suppose you're planning to leave him and hurry on back to Vulcan."
"As a matter of fact," Spock replied, "I am going to Vulcan soon. James…" He preferred that name, given in honor of his friend James Kirk. "My son will accompany me wherever I travel."
Elizabeth Fielding ended the call without any attempt at the usual courtesies.
oooo
Spock continued getting his affairs in order. Shortly after retrieving his sons from Kirk's ranch, he had sought out Earth's only Yanashite priest, Kero, for spiritual reconciliation. Next, he filed a claim on Lauren's life insurance that would secure Simon's remaining years at Juilliard.
Then it was time to consider the house. There was a sense of relief when financial necessity forced the decision to leave the rental where Lauren and Teresa lost their lives. T'Beth took what she wanted of Teresa's belongings. Other items in the house were sold, donated, or put in storage. The burro went to live among Jim Kirk's Appaloosas in Idaho. Those times when Spock returned to Earth or when Simon vacationed from school, they would stay in a small guesthouse T'Beth and Aaron were building behind their pool.
Now there remained only the question of James. These days, the boy wanted to follow Spock everywhere, and Spock took comfort in his son's presence. Together, they went to Vatican City seeking a dispensation that would allow James to receive the Yanashite sacraments while he was on Vulcan. Of course, even if James obtained authorization from Rome, Sorel must also give his permission, and Spock was not at all certain that he would.
Sorel had received Spock's subspace messages with some measure of warmth, but the Yanashite leader was clearly reaching the limits of his patience. Spock had long neglected his Community work, and on Mount Seleya he would face a private conference regarding his suitability as an administrator.
At the Papal audience, Augustine was very cordial and sympathetic to Spock's dilemma, but declined to grant James a dispensation.
"Nonetheless," the pope explained, "you may feel free to take you son with you to Vulcan, as long as you continue his Catholic education and keep an eye out for opportunities for him to practice his faith."
They both knew that on today's Vulcan such opportunities would be rare indeed. Catholic priests were among those non-citizens expelled in the backlash against Yanashite beliefs.
Disappointed but unsurprised, Spock took James on a tour of Rome before returning to Arizona. They were walking among the ancient ruins of Palatine Hill when he first noticed how quiet the boy had become.
"Tired?" Spock asked him.
For a moment James stood silent in the warm Italian sun, one hand toying with something hidden in his suit pocket. Then, with downcast eyes he said, "It's too much trouble, isn't it?"
"Too much trouble?"
"For me to go with you."
Spock put his hands on the boy's shoulders and when James looked up at him, Spock was struck, as always, by the powerful resemblance between them. It was like seeing himself at age ten.
Firmly Spock said, "You will go. In life there are always difficulties, but we will surmount them—together."
Tears welled in James' eyes. He brought his hand out of his pocket. His palm cradled the white beads of Teresa's First Communion rosary, and the sight sent a fresh stab of grief through Spock's heart.
James struggled to get out the words. "Resa wanted to come to Rome that day. If she had left instead of me…" Tears spilled down his face, and he wiped at them. "She'd still be alive, and maybe…maybe I could have saved Mom."
Spock drew James away from the curious gaze of tourists. Aching, he took the boy into his arms and tried to console him. "It was not meant to be. God oversees these matters, not us…and even if we don't always understand, we can trust Him."
"Sometimes…I was so mean to Resa." James looked up and his shame was evident. "Father, I never told you. That story I wrote for her at Christmas…it was something I did at the last minute. The real story was horrible. I killed her in it—there was even someone with a knife—just like the way it really happened. I killed her in it, and I laughed."
Spock held him close again. "It was only a story. Teresa knows you are sorry. She knows you love her."
Simon sobbed, "I miss my sister…and I miss my mom, too."
The anguished cry struck deep into the bonding center left tender by Lauren's death. Spock did not trust himself to speak. Inwardly he turned to the Shiav, and there came into his mind an image of the gardenias Lauren loved—pure white, fragrant, their fragile beauty perfect for such a short time. So it had been with Lauren herself, and Teresa, taken by death in full flower. Their brief, sweet lives had served their purpose. For the sake of Spock's remaining family, for the sake of Yanash, he knew that he must move on. But each day brought its own share of struggles.
oooo
Early the next morning, a call came from the Vatican. When James awoke, Spock had good news for him. A priest with the proper qualifications had been found, and his superiors were willing for him to go to Vulcan. Although Joseph Taguma was of African descent, he also held Vulcan citizenship and spoke the First Language fluently. As a child, he had been orphaned while on Vulcan, and was adopted by the family that employed his father. Later, he had returned to Earth and become a Benedictine monk.
On hearing the news, James smiled.
Now Spock felt free to make the final arrangements for their journey.
On the eve of their departure, they stayed with T'Beth at her home in Scottsdale. It was late September and the temperature hovered at 112 degrees. After swimming, the children came indoors to change, and everyone went down to the basement where Aaron was adding a new section to his elaborate model train layout. It was a hobby James and Bethany also enjoyed, especially when Aaron allowed them to operate the controls that sent little antique locomotives racing over the tracks.
They were still in the basement when the front doorbell rang. T'Beth left to answer it, and in a short time called from the top of the stairs. "Father…it's for you!"
Curious, Spock went upstairs. T'Beth accompanied him to the door, where a man in casual clothes was waiting.
At the sight of Spock, the fellow smiled in a friendly manner, and stumbling over the family name said, "Spock S'chn T'gai?"
"Yes," Spock replied, quite certain that he did not know the man.
Still smiling, the stranger handed over a thick manila envelope. "You've been served," he said and quickly walked away.
T'Beth stared, wide-eyed. "A process server! What do you think it can be?"
Spock was in no hurry to open the envelope and find out. His mind raced through a dozen possibilities, none of which could be supported by logic. Finally, he broke the seal.
T'Beth laughed nervously. "Maybe it's something good—some long lost relative has left you a fortune."
Spock pulled out a sheath of papers and scanned the legal language. The shock struck him like a full-size locomotive, and he sucked in his breath.
"What is it?" T'Beth sounded worried, and there was reason to be concerned.
The words caught in his throat. "Elizabeth Fielding is suing me…for custody of James."
A moment later T'Beth had him in the study and she was settled in front of a phone screen.
Spock sat with the papers in hand, thinking. It was Elizabeth Fielding who had the fortune, not him. Through Sanger Industries, she had a virtually limitless fund of money at her disposal. She would hire the finest attorneys available while T'Beth rang up Yong Po, barely out of law school, with holes in his shoes.
Spock had a sinking feeling that no matter what T'Beth or anyone did, he was going to lose his son. And perhaps he deserved to lose James for the way he neglected him after the murders.
"Here." T'Beth turned the phone screen toward Spock. "Talk to him."
Po no longer looked like a skinny adolescent. His voice had deepened and he had matured considerably since Spock's last conversation with T'Beth's Chinese friend. The young man seemed intelligent and confident. He assured Spock that he could easily obtain continuances until it was more convenient for Spock to appear in court. With the starliner departing for Vulcan at nine in the morning, Spock saw little choice but to send Po the packet of papers along with a suitable retainer. It would do for a start.
Spock was touched by T'Beth's ready assistance. Realizing how deeply he would miss his only remaining daughter, he met the concern in her hazel eyes and thanked her.
"No one is taking Jamie," she promised, as if the outcome of the lawsuit was somehow in her control.
He said, "I would rather you not tell Simon just yet, and we should certainly not worry James."
She frowned. "Why not Simon?"
"He has moved to a dorm at Julliard, but still sees his grandmother regularly. I see no reason to damage their relationship. Perhaps this dispute can be resolved in some amicable manner."
The door burst open and in ran Bethany, her cheeks flushed with excitement. "Mommy, Mommy, come see!" She stopped and giggled. "Daddy has a new locomotor and it's called the Galloping Goose!"
Spock chose that moment to excuse himself, and flew his skimmer out to St. Francis Cemetery. It was his first visit to Lauren and Teresa's gravesite, and when he arrived at the double headstone, he was glad that he had come alone. For a long time he stood, head bowed, on the grassy spot where their bodies lay buried. His lips were still, but in his heart he spoke to them, all the while wondering if the pain of their absence would ever lift.
Suddenly he seemed to sense their presence, as if they were standing off to his left, watching him. He glanced up. Heat waves shimmered in empty air. Collecting himself, he returned to the skimmer.
oooo
Father Joseph Taguma was a placid, good-natured man whose teeth shone brightly against his brown skin each time he smiled. He had quite sensibly exchanged his dark Benedictine robe for one of white. For the sake of Taguma and James, Spock was glad they were arriving at Mount Seleya in Vulcan's cool season. The temperature would be very similar to the Arizona heat back on Earth. As the Vulcan seasons turned, they would have time to acclimate. Spock was certain that James would adjust. The boy had always tolerated hot weather at least as well as Simon. Just now, James was gaping at the Seleya crowds as he tagged along. Spock's progress was slowed by greetings from Yanashite pilgrims who recognized him even in his human traveling clothes. At last he broke away, and toting their luggage, the three of them headed up the stone stairway to the priests' compound, which also housed the staff.
They emerged in the courtyard, where a breeze carried the damp scent of the geyser on the ledge below. Here all was quiet, but Spock heard distant chanting in the temple. Eridani hung low in the red Vulcan sky. Remembering the daily schedule, he knew that the resident priests would soon be returning to their quarters in preparation for the evening meal. The encounter with Sorel was fast approaching.
"This way," he said, and they brought their luggage to his tiny room.
Spock had warned James and Taguma that conditions here would be primitive, but the boy's eyes widened at the sight of the stone-hewn walls, the high narrow window slit, and the Spartan sleeping cots.
"Gosh," he said and fell silent.
Father Taguma's deep laughter rumbled. "This is delightful! As rough as my novitiate in Zimbabwe!"
Spock gave them directions to the communal lavatory and excused himself. Alone, he walked the narrow spit of land that led from the courtyard to the temple. Inside, fragrant incense drifted through the shadows. The sense of God's presence was strong and comforting. Settling onto a bench near the entrance, he joined in the chanting.
The evening prayer ended. As the congregation dispersed, Spock remained as he was until his uncle and aunt spotted him. Sparn and T'Prinka had known he was coming and traveled from Baruk for a visit. He rose to receive their embrace in a warm reunion.
Then, last of all, came Sorel. The encounter was not as awkward as Spock had anticipated. The dark eyes of the Yanashite leader were free of reproach; his whole demeanor radiated only kindness and understanding. No doubt there would be a full accounting, but later for that.
As Sorel's arms went around him, Spock knew that all would be well.
oooo
They had been at Seleya for several days and Spock's future role on Vulcan was still under consideration. In his long absence, his assistant administrator had performed so efficiently that Sorel was inclined to keep him. Meanwhile, Spock served as a relief worker, functioning in a different role each day. As an adjunct member of the Seleyan staff, he retained his room and took his daily meals in the priests' compound.
One such evening, James gazed down the long dining table and said, "Who's that nice lady?"
"Which lady?" Spock asked.
James knew better than to point. "Her," he said, looking again. "The pretty one…with the red hair."
Father Taguma spoke up. "I've noticed her, too. She speaks Standard as well as a human. And that hair…"
Spock drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Her name is T'Naisa and she is half human."
"Really!" James said, his eyes back on her.
"It is impolite to stare," Spock reminded him. He would have liked to know why James called her "nice", but to ask such a question might infer that he did not think she was nice, and lead to more questions. As it turned out, James volunteered the information.
"Whenever she sees me, she stops to talk."
"On what subject?" It seemed a safe enough inquiry.
"She said that she's known Simon since he was twelve." The boy's face grew somber. "She said that she's sorry about Mom and Teresa. She said she met Mom once, a long time ago, in Pashir. That's somewhere here on Vulcan."
Spock firmly steered the conversation to Taguma's search for other Catholics living on Vulcan, but T'Naisa remained uppermost in his thoughts. Since returning to Mount Seleya, there was an unpleasant duty he had not yet performed, and perhaps James had shown him a way to facilitate it.
Later that evening, Spock ventured into the women's section of the compound and tapped on the door of T'Naisa's room. Her face lit at the sight of him, and he accepted her invitation to enter, leaving the door ajar.
"Sit down," she said, indicating a stone bench upon which she had placed a long floral cushion.
He remained standing. Stiffly he said, "I behaved inconsiderately when you came to my home in Arizona. I…even threatened you. And for that, I apologize."
A sad smile stirred her lips. "I can see how terribly hard this is for you. But you mustn't say it unless you mean it—otherwise, it's not worth anything."
Spock wrestled with his emotions. He could not deny a lingering anger toward the halfling. He found her blunt, forward manner abrasive. "I do mean it," he said. "However, it has come to my attention that you have been speaking to my son James."
"Is that not allowed?" she asked with a maddening touch of amusement.
"The fact that you spoke to him does not concern me. It is the subject matter. Must you remind the boy of his loss?"
T'Naisa's face grew serious. "So that's it," she said softly. "Spock, it's good for him to talk about it. Don't you know that? It's good for anyone who's grieving."
He watched her as she removed a framed portrait from a niche in the wall. Spock recognized her father.
T'Naisa held the picture in her hands and gazed at it. "He died," she said, "while you were on Earth. I've never been very close to my Vulcan mother. I was always his kid. Daddy's girl. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. And now he's gone…"
"I did not realize," Spock told her.
Dashing a tear from her eye, she set the picture back in place. Then she said, "James looks just like you. What was Teresa like? I never saw her."
The thought of his murdered daughter was wrenching. "She was…the image of her mother," he managed to say, and then he turned and went out the door.
oooo
When Spock last lived on Vulcan, laws had limited proselytizing to Mount Seleya. Since then a major legal breakthrough had allowed the religious use of private property already owned by members of the Community. Priests and teachers of the Way regularly traveled the circuit of small temples that were springing up throughout the world.
Spock had been at Seleya nearly a month when he received the assignment. He would be traveling with a fellow Yanashite who gave popular lectures. T'Naisa Brandt.
Upon hearing the news, Spock held back his objections, knowing they would sound petty and arrogant. Accepting the decision as from the hands of Yanash, he left James in the care of Father Taguma and set out. Over the course of fourteen days, they visited twelve locations, often traveling by transporter to save time. With such a busy schedule, there was sometimes little opportunity for rest, but the work proved very rewarding and Spock had to admit that T'Naisa teamed well with him.
If Sorel meant for her to keep an eye on Spock, she showed the utmost discretion. In those few moments they had to themselves, she was very gracious and said nothing further to stir up painful memories.
As they were preparing to transport home, T'Naisa turned to him and said, as if it surprised her, "I enjoyed that—I really did. Spock, I'll be perfectly honest with you. When Sorel told me that I'd be your partner, I tried my best to talk him out of it. I thought you wouldn't like having me along, but you've been very polite." Her mouth twitched with a mischievous smile. "Why, you haven't even commented on my appetite…" She raised a half-eaten piece of fruit she was holding. "Or knocked any food out of my hand, like you did in Phoenix."
Spock had a fleeting urge to do just that. For an instant her dark eyes seemed to dare him. Then he came to himself.
James was waiting near the transporter platform when they returned to Seleya. Smiling broadly, the boy rushed forward and hugged Spock tightly.
"Guess what?" he said in a rush. I've been going to school with the other kids." He backed up and proudly displayed a device hanging from his neck. "See? They've loaned me a universal translator. Now I can understand everything."
Up to this point, Spock had designed a learning center tutorial for the boy's use, just as he did with Simon. It had not occurred to him that James might prefer a classroom setting.
"Indeed," Spock said. "I assume this was Father Taguma's idea?"
James smiled as his gaze settled warmly on T'Naisa. "No, it was hers. She mentioned it before she left…and she said you could teach me Vulcan through a meld, just like you did with Mom and Simon."
With a twinge of displeasure, Spock turned to the halfling.
She blushed and stammered. "Oh, Jamie…I only noticed that you weren't going to school with the other children. I didn't mean to interfere with your father's plans for you."
The boy's face fell. "But isn't it alright? Please, Father?"
Spock's mind remained focused on the halfling's words. Jaimie, she had said. His mother had called him by that endearment and he did not like T'Naisa using it.
Holding in his annoyance, he looked at his son. "It is perfectly alright, but you will still need tutoring in subjects relating to Earth."
James' smile returned and he studied the translator pendant.
As they walked off together, Spock leaned toward T'Naisa and spoke in a voice meant only for her ears. "His name is James."
oooo
By the end of the week, James no longer seemed very happy. Spock wondered if he had changed his mind about school, or disliked his daily work assignment, or perhaps was just missing his slain mother and sister. Lauren and Teresa were never far from Spock's thoughts. Though he attempted to keep busy, grief would still overtake him suddenly—triggered by something as inconsequential as a sound or a scent. At times he still seemed to hear their voices, and at night they entered his dreams regularly.
Meditative prayer kept him going, and it was a practice he encouraged in his son. They had brought with them Lauren's chipped statues of Jesus and Mary, along with her votive light. James kept a candle burning, and when Father Taguma was on Seleya, the two of them prayed the rosary daily. Just now, the priest was off visiting one of the Catholic families he had located. Spock and James were together in their room as night settled over the mountain. James sat working on a school assignment, but suddenly he set his datapadd aside and flopping back on his bunk, stared morosely at the stone ceiling.
Spock looked up from the paper journal in which he inscripted daily entries. "James. What is wrong?"
Surprisingly the boy replied, "I don't think T'Naisa likes me anymore."
Not for the first time, Spock wondered why James showed such a persistent interest in the halfling. One possibility was her attractive appearance. At ten, the boy was old enough to take notice of the opposite sex. However, Spock thought that another reason was more likely. T'Naisa was as emotional as a full-blooded human. She liberally showered James with warmth and attention, which any motherless child would crave. More and more Spock feared that she would completely displace Lauren in the boy's affection.
All this he considered before asking, "Why do you think T'Naisa does not like you?"
"Because she doesn't call me Jamie anymore." His face contorted, and rolling over, he hid in his pillow.
Spock felt torn between his son's anguish and the desire to preserve the boy's love for his mother. This display of sorrow was not a good sign, coming as it did when James had begun to regain his form lively personality. Now Spock realized how great a part T'Naisa had played in his recovery. She was the one who had helped James rise from his grief. And just now, only T'Naisa could comfort him.
For the sake of his son, Spock set aside his misgivings and went for her.
T'Naisa opened her door and her face grew strangely sad at the sight of him. "Spock," she said, then hesitated. "I…was hoping to speak to you."
Inside her room, Spock told her plainly of the trouble with James. "I was in error," he admitted. "Like it or not, my son has become very attached to you. Will you speak to him?"
With that same sad expression, she left immediately for Spock's room. There, she took James into her arms while Spock looked on.
"Oh, Jamie," she said, "I'm sorry. You see, I thought…that since Jamie was a special family name, maybe I shouldn't use it. But your father says it's fine and I'm so glad. I'd never do anything to hurt you."
With pain twisting in his heart, Spock turned and walked out of the room. He was standing in the torch-lit courtyard when T'Naisa came up beside him.
"Thank you," he said without looking at her. "It was kind of you not to reveal my part in this."
"I'm sure you meant well," she said. Then, "Spock, I've heard some disturbing news. Is Jamie's grandmother really trying to take him away from you?"
Startled, Spock turned on her. "You did not tell James!"
"Not a word. Why, doesn't he know? If not, that's bound to change now. It's just hit the Federation news services. And Spock, they're reporting some pretty negative allegations about you."
oooo
The next morning, James was upset to discover that his universal translator was missing. Again and again he tore through his belongings and came up empty-handed.
"But it was right there," he insisted, pointing to the ledge holding the statues and candle. "Honest, Father, I didn't lose it."
"I believe you," Spock told him, for while James slept, he had removed the translator as a precaution against any loose Vulcan talk the boy might overhear. "I am sure we will find it. Meanwhile, go to your tutorial program in the learning center."
"Can you teach me Vulcan now?" James asked hopefully.
"When my schedule permits," Spock said in a vague manner.
Just then someone knocked on their door and Spock was summoned to appear before Sorel.
The leader's face was grave as he recounted the Federation news report. "I find it surprising that you withheld such information from me. This threatens to become yet another scandal for the Community. Young Sobek's name is back in the news. A potential convert slayed the wife and daughter of a Yanashite. Now it is questioned whether that Yanashite is fit to raise his own son."
"I considered it a private matter," Spock replied. "And until now, it was. For the sake of my son, I beg discretion. There is no need for him to know of the situation just yet. The court date is still months away."
Sorel nodded. "It is, at heart, a private legal matter. In the name of Vulcan privacy, I will request silence throughout the Community."
Spock thanked the leader and later that same day received a subspace message from his young attorney. It was reassuring to learn that Yong Po had enlisted the help of his more experienced associates, but a message from Simon was highly disturbing.
The teenager's face was taut with anger. He had learned of the lawsuit and confronted his grandmother. With his usual attention to detail, he recited the accusations she had put forth.
"Father, she's not only hired a pack of lawyers, she has detectives on the job, too. She seems to have uncovered your every move, even back before you came to Arizona. These are the main points of her case. You endangered the family by living right on the coast when the earth changes were already underway. You took Sobek into our home without proper consideration, and left Mom and Teresa alone with him. After the murders you neglected Jamie. You journeyed with a convicted felon into the evacuation zone, in violation of the emergency mandate. That makes you a lawbreaker. By taking Jamie to Vulcan, you're depriving him of family, friends, and the comfort of his home planet. According to her, life on Mount Seleya isn't safe, either. Jamie is living in quarters that have previously collapsed during an earthquake, causing fatalities. And she even knows that you and I were kidnapped on Vulcan and that I was left to die in the desert. She says that you've always neglected the family by long absences and by taking unnecessary risks. Last of all, and I think this is the lowest: sorry Father, but she said that your early Vulcan training has made you incapable of giving Jamie the affection he needs."
Numbly Spock forwarded Simon's message to his attorney. Then he sat staring at the blank screen for a long while.