ONE

"come on up dear"

I woke up, cold sweat trickling down my fiery face. Breathing heavily, I looked around the dark, dusty, dirty room in which me, my sister, my mother and my cat, buttercup slept. The loud ticking noise of our rusty clock gave life to the deadly silence. Katniss lay silently asleep next to me, buttercup and my mother lay on the bed opposite. I slowly crawled out of the warm bed, into the cold, stale air. I crossed the small room, creaking on the floorboards as I went and crawled Into the bed next to my mother. Buttercup sprang into life and curled up next to me. I fell into a cold sleep feeling even less safe than before. I woke to my mother's cool, calm voice in the morning.

The reaping. I started to panic, but my mom soon calmed me, and I managed to keep calm. Everything will be okay, Katniss will protect me. I noticed she had took the cheese I set out for her and felt better knowing that she would have known I loved her before she went out hunting. I was also pleased that she would probably share it with Gale. After a few hours of petting buttercup and finishing off stitching torn cloths and socks to make a blanket, I got washed from the big metal bucket my mother filled with about a quater of the hot water we would get that month. When mother came back from buying new socks, hair ties and pins from the hob for me and my sister, she produced a lovely white, ruffled blouse and black, pleated skirt. I slipped them on while my mother polished my good shoes. After that Katniss came hustling in with a sack full of game and strawberries while mother braided my hair in two plaits on either side. The cool breeze which swept through the door replaced the smell of dirty bathing water and shoe polish. It was a relief to see katniss didn't seem too worried about today. We all sat down to eat some of the food Katniss brought back, then she went to get changed. An hour later, she swanned gracefully down the stairs. She looked so beautiful. Her bluebell dress floated slightly in the fresh, cold breeze that entered still through the half open door. Her already naturally pretty face had been highlighted by some of my mother's rationed make-up, bringing out her warm ice eyes. Her pale skin shone, despite the dark, musky room. The little light that shone from the clouded sky outdoors barely made a difference. We set off for the justice building in silence after a very intense conversation about what to do when we got there.

My ears fought a loosing battle with the whispering that hissed in the air. I could slightly hear my sisters' soothing voice over the uproar around me. She was telling me instructions of where to go when we get through the checkpoint. We made our way through the electric crowd, and left my mother somewhere near the gates to the big, old building. I chocked many times on the dust frkm the stampede. Girls screaming, boys taking care of their younger brothers and sisters, utter chaos around me- and after taking a good look round the rest of district twelve's population, i realised how brave my sister was. Even putting one step in front of another was becoming hard. We reached the entrance to the square the other children were standing. I watched a boy get pricked in the fingertip. Katniss told me it would be okay and we proceeded. A woman's voice spoke from begin her visor, "finger please" in a cold voice and grabbed my hand. The prick sent electricity up through my arm and goosebumps ran up my skinny arms and deep into my stomach. I could slightly hear my sisters attempts to calm me down, but the lump in my throat made it hard to talk- with one last calming squeeze, Katniss left me, alone. Suddenly I was surrounded by a sea of babbling girls shaking and red-faced, trying to fight the waves of sound in my own. I realised I wasn't the smallest there and felt my shoulders lift. Soon my body felt so numb, I felt like I was floating on water. I stood for what seemed like hours until I realised something had changed about my already hostile environment, every single girl and boy in the sea were pressing their gaze onto me, boring into every inch of my frozen flesh. The pressure became too much to handle.

Everything around me was starting to fade into blackness, until I caught sight of two very familiar eyes; Katniss. She covered her mouth with her shaking hands and I could see tears streaming down her beautiful face. Oh how I wanted her beauty... I had just started to feel warm and safe again until the hungry-eyed sea parted, and there stood a pale woman. She pursed her pink lips and flapped her wing- like eyelashes. Her face almost looked like some twisted joke of a Halloween mask. She repeated "Primrose Everdeen, come on up dear".

I almost laughed, was this a joke? Was I blocking out the sound too much, or was the crowd of menacing eyes silent? Before I knew, I was climbing the stone steps and paused at what seemed like my sisters voice... But from a distance. Soon I was watching her fragile body move shakily up to the stage, her beautiful blue dress floating in the breeze. A ringing in my ear snapped me into the real world- silent as it was. I realised what had happened and my sisters voice rang in my head, " I- I volunteer as t-tribute!". My body took over and soon I was kicking and screaming, clawing at my sisters dying footsteps... I felt hands on my shoulders and didn't bother to look round- I knew it was gale. I knew that because his hands were warm and gentile. She was disappearing into the distance.

It took me a while to find my mother, but i found her near the back of the crowd, near collapse. I supported her and just as we stood properly, as one- the capitol security in white armour were taking a direct path through the fading crowd, now only stood gamblers taking their winnings or causing havoc in their drunken state. The Capitol officials finally led us to the old justice building where peeta Mellark's parents we being ushered into. I guessed it was his parents because they looked like him, but also there would be no other reason that this couple would be here, on this day, otherwise. We entered a big hall with a big pearl-coloured marble staircase, and golden trimmed walls, all of which were stained, rusty and severely damaged. Still supporting the shell of my mother, I climbed the steps, feeling like I was about to be sick. So far I hadn't had a chance to really take in what had happened over the past half hour, but one sound recalled everything over in my head. I could hear Katniss' voice, straining to speak with the lump in her throat, through one of the two doors. I looked blankly at the security guards black face shield and my knees threatened to give way with a big jolt. I stayed standing. Just then he muttered something through his visor, but I failed to hear what he said. I simply took the hint by his jab in my back that it was time. Then Suddenly, Gale bounded out of the big wooden door, gave me and my mother a sideways look and ducked his head down, and Continued walking.

My mother gave another burst of unbearable screeching and continued to sob. As we started to walk the small distance of the short hall, I caught a glimpse of Peeta's parents coming out of the next room, the mother gave an evil look our way with her bloodshot eyes as she left through the door at the side of us,but the man stayed behind and sat on the bench on the other side of the narrow corridor, to where the white-armoured men surrounded him. We entered Katniss' room. I looked into her eyes and realised the full extent of this situation. Time stood still. After a minute or so, she ran towards me. At first I thought she was angry, and then she held me in a tight embrace and held me until my knees nearly gave way. She spoke to me Intensely but all I could focus on was her beautiful face. I still had the pin she gave me clutched in my free hand, I took her trembling hand and placed the ice cold metal mockingjay into her soft palm. She looked at it, and reluctantly took it. Then She talked to my mother who did not look in the slightest lime She had been crying, she stayed strong for Katniss. The image of my sister stayed in my confused head and as people grabbed my hands or gave a slight embrace, the salty drips continued to dry out my lips. All of a sudden I was alone again, amidst the lonely dust from the sea which had one engulfed me. Then i realised...My mother was gone.

I found her some fearful twenty minutes later, thinking she had made a run for it, but i soon realised she had swanned off over to ripper for alcohol which was half gone by the time I found her in the corner of the square, singing a strange song about miners. Some of the lines I recognised as some of my father's. It took me a while to think of what to do, 'what would Katniss have done?', I asked myself. Katniss probably would have left her for dead, but this woman was the only hope I had... Without my sister, how was I to survive? I had to help her, otherwise I was digging my own grave. I crouched down next to her trembling body and realised how this must be effecting her. Katniss, gone, our father gone. Now she was left with a helpless little girl who owned a goat and barely earned enough money to buy grain.

At that moment, my stomach did a summersault, it suddenly occurred to me that this could have been all my fault. I let Katniss go in my place, I hadn't fought enough and maybe she could be dead in a few weeks. Soon I had picked my mother up, feeling guilty, and walked her home and lay her down In her broken bed and kissed her goodnight. It was still light out but I felt an early night was in order. As I settled Into my own bed, which felt cold and dead as Katniss was not there, I thought about the confused events of the day, and slowly drifted off Into a restless sleep.

When i woke,I stretched my fingers, searching for warmth, but I only found the rough surface of the canvas mattress.

For a moment, I thought Katniss might have been next to me, and then a sickly feeling burst into my stomach. For a few moments I lay silent, trying to find a heartbeat, breathing- any sign of life next to me. Nothing. I sat up with my eyes closed, not wanting to reveal the truth to myself, and stroked the cold bed beside me. An eternity of cold canvas mattress. I wondered where she was at that moment. Would she still be on the train? Or was she at the Capitol? Images of her being shot in the chest with an arrow faded in and out of my mind, I felt near collapse at the thought. I got out of bed and looked around the dark room, the smell of damp clouding my mind even more. I went over to the make-shift curtains, made by buttercup's blanket (he was let out while we went to the reaping) and only small pools of light illuminated the rear end of the room. I drew back the curtains, this taking up much of my energy, and turned around to wake my mother, untill I realised that she was nowhere to be seen. Her bed was empty apart from my large gingery cat, buttercup, who looked utterly confused by the sudden blaze of light and angry that we took his bed, which when drawn, revealed the dusty atmosphere. Where was she? I searched the room for any sign of her, but there was nothing... Just relentless empty dusty space. I managed to heave a sigh which made my heavy chest slightly lighter. I went to where my mother should have lay and brushed buttercup with my numb fingers. He took one look at my unwashed and blotchy face, stood up and darted for the window. I was, again, all alone. What am I going to do? If my mother is gone, and I'm all alone with a cat, what will I do? I thought,What will I do to get food? At that moment I realised what i had to do, I had to look after myself, think only of myself and no one else. Obviously I would be supporting my sister as much as I could, maybe I could help her get sponsors, I thought about visiting the mayor to ask for his help...

At that moment, there was a big CRASH downstairs, and again, then footsteps, then there was someone coming into the bedroom. It was her. At least I thought it was. I had never seen her like that before. She had always been the strong woman I looked up to, but here , she was like a bruised, injured ghost with spindly legs, stumbling into the room. she was grasping an empty bottle of vodka and she was mumbling to herself. The silhouette of her frail, broken body stopped in its tracks and I felt like I was being watched. Then the dark figure returned into the light and knelt before the bed, sobbing limply and carelessly. At first I felt disgust as I breathed in fumes from her intoxicated body. And then I felt pity for this helpless woman. I wondered wether she would ever be the same after this, but I had to try. I had to be strong.

I opened the cupboard next to her bed, and took out her medical supplies. I found bottles with all sorts of different names. After moments of digging in heaps of bandages and bottles, I found some cleaning ethanol and soothing cream. I faced my mother and realised the wounds were worse than I thought, bruises and scratches covered every inch if her shaking skin. I poured some ethanol onto the scratches and grazes and put bandages over her raw palms. I rubbed some of the soothing cream on her red patches. I then took a damp cloth from the bathroom and wiped up some of the dried blood from her motionless face. She displayed no emotion apart from utter pain. She continuously winced and yelped with pain until I had her all bandaged up and settled in bed. I crept downstairs and knew what was in order. The incrutious remedy. I took leaves from several small plants and found the rest of the ingredients in some of the nearly bare cupboards. I set our pan with water over the fire, near to where the strawberries and saved food from Katniss' hunt lay. When it had started to boil, I threw the ingredients in and let it simmer for a few minutes, while an idea sprung to mind.

After a few minutes, I ladled some of the remedy into a bowl. I crept back up the creaky stairs and tip-toed into the bedroom, and sat down on the bed next to my mother. She was stating blankly out of the window, where the warm morning sun blazed through. "I have to do this Mom", I said shakily. She didn't move," it's the incrutious remedy...". At this she stirred and gave me a hostile look.

"the-the incrutious r- remedy?", her eyes glouped into pools of pity, she began to tremble even more," w-what do you m-mean, the incrutious remedy?"

"it will help you get better, we can't let Katniss know about this, if she does come back, because I don't-I- I don't...want to loose you". There was a defending silence.

"O-okay", she said in a hopeless voice, "but make it quick".

I slowly moved the chipped bowl over to her mouth with a big silver spoon ready to ladle some to her dry mouth, "only a few sips and it will all be over", I said in a calm, controlled voice. We both knew that was a lie but she still nodded her limp head. We both knew that after the first drop there is no going back, she would have to drink as much as was needed. My mother stared at the Spoon with Horrified eyes as it edged nearer to her mouth. As it began to enter her mouth, she started to breathe heavily and panic spread across her face- but it was too late, the first drop began to fall. Everything seemed to slow down- the drop edging nearer and nearer. The lump in my throat grew again and my stomach tied in knots as I saw her horrified face-

Everything stood still. For a second I thought it hadn't worked. Then her eyes shot open with shock, liquid racing down her cheeks. Again, time stood still and I looked into her desperate eyes which had melted. Then, a horrifying scream bounced off the walls and deafened my ears. Her body started to squirm into grotesque shapes and her fragile bones began on click and snap back into place, but this was a drop in the ocean. She began to tremble and as I slipped the next spoon into her Mouth, and again there was a murderous silence as my mother gasped for air. She then bellowed a huge scream which startled me, she began to look wildly around the empty room, and screaming with fear, then wincing in pain as she slowly moved. Her eyes began to roll and her body was becoming limp, but she would have to drink it all or she could die. Spoon after spoon of incrutious remedy and my mother was beginning to pass out with the pain, she had started to loose her voice and her bones were sticking out in disgusting torturous angles. Her face twisted as the poison finally reached her bloodstream, and after another spoon-full, the effects were becoming visible. Only one more spoon, but she was fading out, her eyes closing, I quickly scooped up the last of the yellow liquid and moved it over to my mother's mouth. She was gone. She wasn't breathing, she had stopped fighting. I slipped the last of the remedy into her lifeless mouth. There was silence... Apart from my own beating heart, that could be heard like my heart was now situated in my head, so it was beating directly into my ears. I sat there, watching, waiting, praying to god it was not too late, was it all over? Was she dead? Still silence rang in the room. Just as I was starting to try to resuscitate her, she gave a slight cough and gave a small smile at me, then said, " we did it... You did it!". We just stared at each other for a while until I helped her over to her bed, noticing the great improvement in her appearance "come, lie next to me", she said in a whisper, "you've just saved me".