It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife (or children's trading cards).
At least, that was the logical conclusion that Mrs. Joey Kaiba had reached after years of being in the good graces of 'social society'.
"My dearest Mr. Kaiba," said Mrs. Kaiba to her husband one day, "Have you heard the news? Netherfield Park has finally been inhabited, at last."
Mr. Seto Kaiba replied, with a smirk on his face, that he had not. He knew his wife wanted something. Customarily,that would be the only reason why she would feel obligated to cover up her usually prominent accent.
"It is true, I say!" Exclaimed Mrs. Kaiba, her face starting to get ruddy from all the excitement, "My dear friend Mrs. Long was just here and she told me all about it."
Mr. Kaiba said nothing and just continued on staring at his wife attentively, pretending to care about such a ridiculous subject.
"Don't ya wanna know who's taken it?!" Mrs. Kaiba exclaimed. Her accent was starting to re-appear. She was exasperated by this point.
"I honestly do not care, dearest, but if it will satisfy you, I have no objection to hear it."
This was all that was needed for Mrs. Kaiba to start rambling off the important news.
"Dearest Seto, it is necessary that ya know, Netherfield Park has been taken by a rich, young man from up in Northern England. According to Mrs. Long, he came down last Monday in a very fine, closed in carriage to see the property, and was so breath-taken by da place that he agreed to take possession of the estate immediately. He is rumored to be completely settled in by next week, servants and all!"
"What would this poor fellow's name be?"
"Motou."
"Well, is the man married or single?"
"Single, darlin', single! Why would I prattle on about a married man for such a long period a' time. Of course, he is single!" Mrs. Kaiba said in a quick rush, making it even harder to keep her strong accent under control. "He also has a huge fortune! He's rumored to have 5,000 a year! Wouldn't dat just be wonderful for our girls?"
"Why would the fact that he is rich have anything to do with our daughters?"
"My dear Seto," sighed Mrs. Kaiba, frustrated by her husband's lack of social concern, "What is wrong with you? Obviously, I'm hopin' he will marry one of our daughters! I made a bet and I don't intend to lose it!"
"Ah, yes the bet. How could I forget? You know dear, it is very unbecoming to jeopardize our daughter's happiness on a bet that you made with Lady Ishtar." Mr. Kaiba said this as if he was chastising his ridiculous wife, but in all actuality, he didn't really give a damn.
"What's da matter with a little bet, dearest, if I know I'm not gonna lose?"
"Whatever you say, dear. I still find it slightly detestable that you would bet Lady Ishtar that you could get all four of your daughters married in three years. You are a vile woman to be sure, love."
"Thank you, Mr. Kaiba. I highly appreciate yer input. All in all, though, I do intend on winning dis little bet and ta do so, I need you to visit him as soon as he comes."
"I see no reason why I should do anything of the kind. You and the girls may go. You could even bring along Tristan if you wanted to. Maybe there's pretty young lady at Netherfield that might catch his eye, as well. Better yet, let the children go by themselves. I would hate to see the young Mr. Motou enraptured by your beauty, instead of our daughters. By the way, your accent is seeping through, again."
"Oh dear! Is it really?"
"Yes."
There was a slight pause before anyone spoke again. Mrs. Kaiba was doing her vocal exercises, trying to get her distasteful accent under control. While, Mr. Kaiba tried to look as stoic as possible, while watching his wife make an idiot out of herself.
"Ey! I know what yer doin'! Tryin ta get me off subject!"
"Your accent, dearest."
"Oh, right."
"Still, Mr. Kaiba you must go and see Mr. Motou when he comes into the neighborhood!"
"I am completely and totally ignoring you right now, I assure you."
"Please, Mr. Kaiba, think of your daughters! Just think of the establishment a connection like that would grant them. Sir and Lady Ishtar are going for the very same reason and you know how little they socialize with people they do not already know. Please, you must go, for you know how difficult for us it will be to visit them if you do not."
"Surely, you are over-reacting. Mr. Motou will want to see you much more than he will want to see the likes of me. I'll send a few lines with you, assuring the respectable Mr. Motou of my hearty consent to him marrying any of my daughters, though I should probably throw in a good word for my little Ryou..."
"You will do not such thing! Picking favorites out of your children surely is a monstrous way to behave. Ryou is no better than the others. I dare say she was probably the most difficult child I had to raise. There is nothing really special 'bout her. She's not as pretty as Yugi, nor does she even come close to Tea in good humor. And yet you still give her the preference."
"Besides tolerable good looks, they have nothing more to recommend them." Explained Seto, "They are all stupid and silly like other girls. Ryou actually has substance. A quickness of wit, if you will."
"Mr. Kaiba! How could say such a thing about your daughters! You take too much delight in makin' my life miserable don't ya? You have no compassion fer my nerves, do ya?"
"You mistake me, love. I have the highest respect for your god-awful nerves. They are like old friends to me. They have been my companions for at least twenty years now."
"You are a terrible man, for sure!"
"I guess you will just have to get over that, my dear and live to see many rich men move into the neighborhood without a call to them from me."
"Mr. Kaiba sometimes a wonder 'bout you!" Mrs. Kaiba's face was red with fury at this point. Her kettle was already boiling and it had a danger of boiling over.
"Keep wondering dear, for I am sure it will take you a long while to come to any sort of conclusion of my character."
At this last and final statement from Mr. Kaiba, Mrs. Kaiba stomped out of the room in a hurry, a fog of anger and frustration trailing behind her.
Mr. Kaiba was, at this point in time, relieved to be away from his exhausting wife. He was such an odd mix of characteristics. Sarcasm and coldness being just a few of the plethora that made up his character and in all of there twenty-three years of marriage, the poor dim-witted Mrs. Kaiba still hadn't fully comprehended her husband's personality. Her mind was less difficult to unravel. She was a woman of little information, quick temper, and simple devotion. She also had a acute love of gambling, which on many occasion, had gotten her family into financial trouble. The business of her life was to take unnecessary chances and her solace was society and trivial gossip.
Someone had to do it. Anyway, yeah some characters are going to be gender-bent in this one. It's not that I don't like yaoi, it's just not really something I wanted to do in this one. Besides, it's Pride and Prejudice, it's not like there's any sex scenes or anything. (And I don't plan on altering the story just to put them in there.) I hope you like the characters I chose to portray the P+P cast. (I especially like who my Mr. Collins is. heh, heh, heh) Anyway, hope you like it! Reads and Review needed!
P.S.- Mr. Motou is Atem (The Pharoah). I figured since Yugi's last name is going to be Kaiba, I could just use Motou for Yami. And because using the last name Sennen is used way too much.