It's A Wonderful Life, Jesse
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or It's A Wonderful Life :)
Warning: Mention of sort-of-almost character death-ish? If you've seen It's A Wonderful Life you'll know what I'm talking about, but there's just a time in this piece where Jesse feels worthless and doesn't want to live anymore. (He doesn't actually die! This is a Christmas story, it's not gonna be completely depressing the whole time!) If you have a problem with that, then I would advise you to proceed with caution. Thank you! :)
Author's Note: Happy Holidays! I saw the trailer for tomorrow's new episode and freaked out! I'm so excited! I figure that - since the episode is based on 'It's A Wonderful Life' - once the episode airs, everyone will be publishing stories about 'What if So-And-So never existed?' so I'm getting my hands on a St. Berry one while I can! Enjoy the read, everyone :)
It's A Wonderful Life, Jesse
What had Jesse been expecting?
He felt truly pathetic. Twenty-six years old and spending Christmas Eve watching a Broadway musical he'd seen seventeen times before! And watching it simply because...because...
It was Rachel's opening night.
Oh sure, Jesse had gone to see every one of her performances. Every role, even the ones where she had no lines or was only onstage for a moment. But this was different. Now, she was it. She was the lead. She was Elphaba. And she was glorious.
And after the show, Jesse had gone to do something he'd never done before. He bought a bouquet of white roses, and waited for Rachel at the stage door. What a wonderful Christmas present, Jesse had thought, if she would just agree to go out for coffee with me? Grinning ear to ear, Jesse had stood like a fool waiting for Rachel to make an appearance.
And she had. And they stood alone, as everyone else had been eager to go home and prepare for Christmas.
"Jesse..." she mumbled, pulling her coat more tightly around her. It was freezing outside, and Jesse immediately went to shrug out of his own winter jacket to give to her.
"No," she told him immediately. "I'm fine. I don't need it."
Jesse acted as though she hadn't hurt his feelings. He acted as though everything was fine. He plastered a smile onto his face and held out the flowers.
"Thank you," she said simply, taking the flowers from Jesse's hands. "That was very nice."
Jesse gave her a look. What was wrong? Sure, they hadn't spoken in a while, but hadn't they parted as friends the last time they'd been together?
"Nothing's wrong." she assured Jesse immediately, sensing his confusion. "I just wasn't expecting I'd see you. What are you doing here?"
"I come to all of your shows," said Jesse happily, smiling at Rachel in an attempt to break down whatever walls she had put around her heart. "And you were...superb."
"Thank you," she told him.
"I'm not just another fan, Rachel." Jesse told the petite young brunette. "You can't just put on a show face and tell me the same generic saying you give everyone else."
"I'm doing no such thing!" Rachel snapped. She stepped around him, and began to make her way away from the theater. "Thank you for coming."
"Rachel, wait!" hurried Jesse pathetically, racing to catch up with her. She couldn't slip away again...not again..."Wanna go out for coffee, or -?"
"No, Jesse." Rachel said sternly, turning around to face him. "I know where this is going. And I don't want that. It was nice of you to come, but...you shouldn't have."
And with that, she was gone.
Jesse felt the cold metal beneath his fingers. It was old, and rusted. The bridge was hardly ever used. It mostly existed because it looked nice amongst the rest of Central Park. The water beneath the bridge was shallow, and therefore...to die in it would be painful and slow. Jesse didn't care.
Tears poured from his eyes. They were hot and many, and the wind whipped wildly around him. Jesse prepared himself. It was clear to him now. Rachel was the last piece of the puzzle. No one wanted him - UCLA didn't want him, McKinley didn't want him, Vocal Adrenaline didn't want him, his family didn't want him, he had no friends, and Rachel...
What good was Jesse doing the world? All he did was take up oxygen and space.
He climbed onto the railing of the bridge. One jump - one leap of faith and it would all be over. He balanced himself and looked down. In the darkness, he could just make out where the water was...and where the rocks were...he planned where he'd jump...he took a deep breath...and...
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Jesse's body gave a slight jolt. The voice coming from behind him had startled him. He sighed and turned around.
"Artie Abrams?" asked Jesse in disbelief, crinkling his eyebrows. He climbed down from the rail and wiped away the tears. "What are you doing here? And how are you walking?"
Standing before Jesse was a boy - or, rather, a man - he had not seen in years. Former New Directions member Artie Abrams (who Jesse had last seen in a wheelchair) approached Jesse cautiously with a smile. "What are you doing here?" asked Jesse again. "I thought you were filming that movie in New Zealand?"
"I am not Artie Abrams," said Artie, chuckling to himself at Jesse's bewildered look. "I've only taken his form to make you more comfortable. I'm an angel."
There was a beat of silence. Jesse stared at Artie in disbelief. He didn't want to believe him, but...how else could he be walking?
"An angel?" asked Jesse, cocking an eyebrow. "How are you an angel? And why don't you have wings?"
"I haven't earned my wings yet," explained Artie. "By helping you, I might just get them!"
"Helping me?" asked Jesse. "Who asked you to help me? I don't need help."
Artie looked behind Jesse at the bridge, and then met Jesse's eyes once again. "Then why were you about to jump?"
"None of your business."
"Look Jesse," sighed Artie, taking another step closer to Jesse. "I've spent the last two days watching your entire life. I know everything about you, including what just happened with Rachel. I knew you were going to jump before you did. And I'm here to stop you."
Jesse rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thanks for that. But unless you can somehow make my life have meaning, I'm afraid there's nothing you can do."
"You're right," shrugged Artie. "I can't do that. Only you can do that."
"No I can't!" shouted Jesse in frustration. "I'm worthless! The world...everyone...Rachel...would be a lot better off without me!"
Artie got a thoughtful expression on his face. "You think so, huh? Hm..."
Artie offered Jesse his hand. "Wanna bet?"
Hesitantly, Jesse took his hand, and the next thing he knew, he was flying.
"FINN JUST GO AWAY! I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO COME HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T NEED YOU HERE!"
The piercing screams made Jesse's ears hurt the second he and Artie appeared in the shabby apartment. He couldn't see whose voice was making those horrible sounds, but he had a hunch.
"Where are we?" Jesse asked Artie. "What are we doing here?"
"This is Rachel's apartment," explained Artie, joining Jesse in surveying the room. "This is tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?" asked Jesse.
"Tomorrow," affirmed Artie. "The day after you jumped off the bridge."
Jesse's breath caught in his throat as he heard a door slam and Rachel marched into the room. She looked horrible.
There were bags under her eyes. Her hair was ratty and messy. Her entire face was swollen and red. Tears poured down her cheeks.
"Jesse," she sobbed, mindlessly pacing in frustration. Jesse felt his heart break as he listened to his only love talk to herself. "Jesse, how could you? I'm sorry, okay? I'm so sorry! We should have gone for coffee last night, I should have listened, I - I - I can't believe I didn't see...something was obviously wrong! Why didn't I follow you? Why didn't I stop my idiotic mind from realizing that you - aren't - like - the - other - guys!"
Rachel screamed unintelligable words and hiccuped sobs in between them. She fell into a pile on the floor, and backed herself against a wall. She curled up into a ball, and rocked back and forth, contuing to cry. Jesse immediately ran to her.
"Rachel!" he screamed, wrapping his arms around her. "Rachel, look at me! I'm fine, I'm okay, look at me!"
"She can't see you," said Artie, approaching Jesse and Rachel slowly. "Or hear you. Or feel you. You're a ghost to her."
Jesse looked up at Artie with tears in his eyes. "Make her stop! I can't watch her cry anymore!"
"I can't do that," Artie said. "Your actions led to this result."
"Understand, now?" asked Artie, crouching down to where Jesse sat next to Rachel on the floor. "How much worse off Rachel would be without you?"
"She probably just feels guilty," Jesse realized. "She was the last person I talked to before I died. She probably blames herself. I bet she'd be fine if I'd never existed at all."
Artie shrugged once again. "Whatever you say."
And - leaving Rachel behind - Jesse and Artie were off once again.
They weren't in New York anymore.
"I know this place," Jesse said as he looked at the pictures and furniture around him. "This is Rachel's old house, back in Ohio."
"That's right, Jesse." said Artie, nodding his head. "You never existed. Rachel still lives with her dads."
Jesse took a moment to look around. It had been years since he had been in Rachel's house, but things still looked much the same. Family portraits still hung on the walls, and the same old couch sat in the living room. Hesitantly, Jesse made his way up the steps to where he knew Rachel's room was. The door was closed, but his hand wasn't solid enough to open it. Instead, he walked right through the wall.
Her room was entirely different. It was bland and boring and sad. There were no musical posters or rhinestoned CD players. No records or playbills.
"What happened to her?" asked Jesse to himself. Suddenly, Rachel ran into the room.
Her beautiful hair was gone and styled in a pixie cut, and her bangs were completely grown out. She wore a pair of yoga pants and a too-big football sweatshirt. She was grinning ear to ear.
"Four o'clock!" she sang in a rough, cracking voice. She picked up her phone and sat on her bed like a teenager.
"She's different," said Jesse, watching Rachel in concern. "But she's not miserable. She'd be just fine without me. But what's wrong with her voice?"
"You weren't here." said Artie. "The day you were supposed to go out on your first date, Rachel went out to the park instead. She rode paddleboats on the lake and fell in. Caught pneumonia, which led to an infection in her vocal chords. She'll never sing again."
Jesse was about to respond, when Rachel started talking behind him. All his focus was on her.
"Hi Finn!" she giggled happily. "It's me again. Where are you? It's four o'clock, I know you're home from pract - hi Finn!" Jesse watched her face fall as she spoke. "No, I know you told me not to call you anymore, but I thought you were just kidding. Because you kid all the time! You're such a goofball, Finny! What? No, I never got the letter from your lawyer...you have a lawyer? Wow, really making a name for yourself playing football in Florida, huh? No, please don't go! Please Finn, I don't have anything left! Please stay on the line, Finn, Finn!"
Finn did not stay on the line. Rachel threw her phone against the wall and shrieked. She fell back onto her bed and began to cry.
"Isn't there anyone out there who understands?"
"I do!" said Jesse. He knew his words were for naught, but he continued to speak to Rachel anyway. It was the only way he could feel like he was helping her. "I love you, Rachel. I love you so much. And I would love you even if you could never sing again. I would love you even if you did still live in Ohio. I'll love you forever."
Rachel stood up from her bed and Jesse saw just how thin she was. Losing her future as a singer truly ruined her. She ran her fingers through her short, short hair, but continued to run them through down her back as though her long locks were still there. She ran to her small radio, turned it on, and waited.
Slowly, the song 'I Dreamed a Dream', from Les Mis, began to play. Jesse had heard Rachel sing this familiar little number before, and he eagerly awaited to hear her beautiful voice once again.
But no such voice came. Rachel's voice was depressing to listen to. It was strained and cracked and rough and sounded like she hadn't had a drink of water in ten years. It was so heartbreaking, that Jesse almost cried.
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living!
So different now from what it seems!
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed!
"One man's life affects so many others," Artie said from the doorway. Jesse had almost forgotten he was there. "Because you were never born, Vocal Adrenaline hardly ever won first. The lack of rivalry made the McKinley High School New Directions fall apart. Your lack of presence caused Rachel Berry - who would have one day been one of the biggest names on Broadway - to lose her voice forever. You caused Finn Hudson to become a professional football player, because he never realized that he could sing. Rachel has been pining over him for almost seven years. She calls him everyday. She's losing her mind. She has nobody."
"Okay, I get it." said Jesse sourly. "Go back and be a good little boy and live."
"Do you wish you were dead?" asked Artie seriously.
"Yes." said Jesse without a single moment's hesitation. "But not if it ruins Rachel's life. I'd burn in hell before I ruined anything about Rachel's life."
"Then go back," said Artie. "And live a great and wonderful life, Jesse. It's not over for you. It's not too late. Find some real friends who will take care of you. They're out there - you just haven't met them yet. Follow your dreams. Live."
Jesse felt the cold metal beneath his fingers. It was old, and rusted. The bridge was hardly ever used. It mostly existed because it looked nice amongst the rest of Central Park. The water beneath the bridge was shallow, and therefore...to die in it would be painful and slow.
Jesse opened his eyes. He was short of breath and very dizzy. He looked around him in disbelief. Why was he in Central Park? Where was Artie...er, the angel?
Live a great and wonderful life, Jesse. It's not over for you. It's not too late.
A great smile appeared on Jesse's face. With renewed faith and freedom, Jesse St. James sprinted from Central Park to the heart of New York City. It took a good hour, but he didn't feel as though he'd walked a step before he ended up in front of Rachel's apartment complex. This time, he wouldn't leave without her.
"Thank you," he whispered.
He ran up the steps, too impatient for the elevator, and asked the nearest worker which room was Rachel's. He was pointed in the right direction, and made it to the door in record time. He knocked three times.
Rachel answered, and seemed upset that Jesse was there. "Jesse." she said solemnly, nodding. "What do you want?"
"You."
One Year Later
Church bells rang all over the city, and lights made everything seem so much brighter. Times Square buzzed with the excitement of busy shoppers, and nearly all of the shows that were playing in New York were completely sold out. In the air was a feeling of Christmas.
In the back of a taxi, Jesse St. James sat curled with his fiancée-to-be , Rachel Berry.
"It's beautiful out," Rachel murmured, as she stared out the window of the cab at the snow drifting through the city. "Like a big snow globe, and we're all trapped inside."
Jesse just smiled, and pulled a strand of Rachel's hair behind her ear. He stared at her in disbelief for a moment before answering - she was his.
"As long as I was trapped with you, I wouldn't care."
Rachel turned, and smiled warmly. "I love you so much, Jesse."
"I love you too, Rachel. Always have, always will. No matter what."
That's that! Just a little feel good story before the holidays :) Tried to write it simply so it would be something quick and easy to go through. Hope you guys enjoyed it and don't forget to review! Happy Holidays!