Gohan sat in his bed room, eyes focused on homework. The sounds of the house poured through the closed door. His mother hummed quietly while preparing lunch and his younger brother sat in the hallway, banging wooden cars together and making crashing sounds. Gohan's foot tapped impatiently. There would be no focusing this afternoon. It would be five years today. Five years since Cell was defeated and he lost his father. Everyone knew. Everyone remembered. But no one would say anything. His mother, he assumed, would not want to upset Goten. The four year-old boy was too young to understand what had happened. Gohan, however, had experienced the day first hand. It was not one he wanted to relive.

The half-saiyan moved to his bed, legs crossed and eyes closed. Meditation, Piccolo had taught him, was the best way to keep your emotions in check. Today of all days it would be important to swallow his emotions. If he knew his mother, she was going to pretend nothing was wrong. Her smile would not fade while Goten was around. The only way he was going to be able to handle himself today was with preparation. Clearing his mind would be easier said than done.

The boys mind rang with his father's voice. "You put up a good fight Gohan." He drew in a long breath. "I'm proud of you." He had to focus on his energy. "Take care of your mother for me." His mind needed to be clear."She needs you." Goku's voice was a ghostly record, broken and stuck on repeat. Each breath in or out led to a forced memory. He remembered it so well, as if it had just happened. Sometimes it felt like he was away training and would be back any day. Gohan's clenched fists would not help him calm down but maybe it would drive the memory away. He had to get rid of it peacefully

There was a small knock at the door.

"Mommy says lunch is ready Gohan!"

Goten. His kid brother couldn't see him upset. He had to push away any emotion if only for the sake of his family.

"I'll be right there sport."

Gohan took one last deep breath before pasting a smile onto his face and joining his family for lunch.

"It's about time You've been stuck in that room of yours all day." His mother greeted him but would not look him in the eye. She set a bowl at Gohan's place at the table and went back to washing dishes.

"I was studying." It was believable enough. Though he continued to train, this time of peace had been used primarily to focus on his studies. According to Chichi, he had missed a lot of opportunities while saving the world. It was time to catch up.

"What'd you do this morning Goten?"

The four year-olds face lit up. "Played cars!"

"Cars huh? That sounds like loads of fun."

"Uh-huh." Goten shoved a clump of noodles into mouth, legs swinging under the table.

Chichi continued to clean in silence, a grin revealing the wrinkles around her eyes. Why was today harder? After five years, one would assume Goku's absence would begin to feel normal. But the fifth anniversary simply reiterated what they already knew. Goku wasn't coming back anytime soon.

Gohan couldn't help but glance at the empty chair his father would have sat in. He realized no one had touched it since. It was only a chair. Why did they care? He swirled the rice around with his chopsticks.

The meal continued with weak conversation. Gohan would ask his brother a question and the young boy would launch into a story about his adventures with Trunks. Gohan nodded at the right moments but his mind was far from Goten's stories. His eye lingered on the chair, wondering what would be happening if his dad was still around. They would train more and go fishing like they used to. Maybe even with Goten. "Go out there and win this one for me, okay? Then we can all go home." That's what he had said five years ago. But he was wrong. Goku's words echoed in his head. He had won but it had happened too late. Ego had gotten the best of him and now his father was gone.

"Right Gohan?" Goten's voice was raised as if it was the second time he asked.

"What? Uh, yeah! Sure. Whatever you say."Goten smiled.

"Trunks and I are gonna play today but his daddy is gonna show him about kicking first."

This wasn't going to work. The memory of the day was too distracting. It was now that he noticed the pain in his hand. The demi-saiyans finger nails had been driven into his palm and rubbed the skin raw. For five years Gohan had managed to keep his anger under control. A single day was not supposed to push him over the edge. Goten was so happy. So unaware. He was so young but he had never questioned where is father was. Why did he think they had an empty chair at the table? Why did he think Trunks had Vegeta but they had no one? Why was Trunks being taught 'about kicking' when Goten didn't even know how to fish? The young boy sat there without a father and it was Gohan's fault.

He stood up clumsily, bumping the table. If he didn't leave soon his emotions were going to get the best of him.

"I've got a school thing. Study group. I'll be back." It was a lame excuse. Chichi would be skeptical but he only needed Goten to believe him. The half-saiyan placed his uneaten food on the counter and headed for the door.

"Gohan," His mother turned toward him, concern in her eyes but a smile on her face. She was not going to stop him or tell him to clean his dishes first. Chichi's eyes finally met her son's. "Be careful."

He placed a hand on the doorknob and nodded. As he exited Goten shouted a goodbye but the dark haired boy did not respond. With the door closed his face hardened. He had once been terrified to be left alone. As a child, loneliness and loss were his greatest fears. Now time on his own, time to think, was exactly what he needed.

One foot pushed off the grass and launched him into the air. He knew where he was going. The area surrounding their house was abandoned nature. No villages or people were near. If he could just be alone for a second he could calm himself down and return home. All he needed was a peaceful place to meditate and he would be okay. He could control his emotions.

It did not take long to reach his destination as the flight had become familiar. Between the rocks and trees was an open field. A waterfall dumped into a stream. The memories of this space were numerous. This was where Goku would take him fishing. This was where they swam together. There was no guilt or fear here.

Gohan sat himself at the edge of the water. Two holes in the earth were still apparent. If they were not catching fish with their bare hands, the father and son would bring rods and dig them into the ground. After all these years the holes stayed where they were, waiting to be used again. Don't hold your breath.

Once again, the half-saiyan crossed his legs and began to clear his mind. The only noise came from the rushing waterfall. He brought the air in through his nose, letting it hold it in his lungs. Eight, nine, ten. The cycle continued over and over. Gohan was beginning to block out his surroundings when a familiar energy appeared behind him.

"I thought I'd find you here."