Little Talks of Mothers and Monsters
The sun's setting when he finally puts his brush down. The upper part of his hands and wrist have some residue from the ink-he lets a chuckle escape his mouth-that always happened to him as a child. There's a warm summer's breeze coming through the small window opened a crack. There's a silence-almost too eerie for his tastes-that tell him it's past midnight in the Fire Nation capital. After the war, there's more of a sense of disillusionment than relief that the war is over. There's a generally confused feeling-not what to believe, where to go. As much as he hates to admit-"you're supposed to reassure these people-"you're the face of this great nation...your nation!"-he's starting to believe it, too.
He's in his study-buried away in the castle with shelfs of books and scrolls stacked mountain high. Aang occasionally jokes that he lives in his 'cave' more than he does in the actual palace, but Zuko can say the same about Aang spending more time on Appa than Katara.
He doesn't want to be down here-buried away in a hell of seemingly endless items to sign and obligations to fill. The small window is the only thing that offers him comfort-it lets his mind wonder away from the fact that outside the palace gates there is a nation's army at his beck and call and a father even deeper in the dungeon that he wants more than anything to forget about.
"Papa..."
"Ursa? What are you doing down here, bear?"
The hazel eyes meet the dark brown ones. He's heard the whispers-that her brown eyes are a sign of a commoner rather than a princess. That she isn't Mai's child. He scowls at these comments. He loves her eyes this way-a warm and comforting brown rather than an intimidating gold. She got them from Mai's grandmother who was the one who gave Mai her knife skills as well. He hopes that she'll inherit those skills as well.
"I'm sleepy..." she says as her head is falling slowly to the side as the Fire Lord peers under his desk. She had set up a type of couch to support herself with books from the study with her stuffed bear under her head in place of a pillow. The plush toy-just plain 'Bear' as she called him-was adorned in Earth Kingdom robes and an all too human-like hat. After the end of the war, they had become quite popular with all children regardless of blood or country. The profits went to the Earth King and his bear, of course.
"What are you doing up this late?" he asks her as if his five-year-old daughter can give a genuine answer that isn't "because I wanted to".
"I...wanted to ask you a question...but you were busy. So I waited," she answers with guilt dripping in her voice that makes the last sentence sound more like a confession than a statement.
"What is it?" he says, tenderly picking her up and walking out of the room. She rests her head on his shoulder.
"Why don't I have grandparents?"
"You do-Mom's and Uncle Tom-Tom's parents..."
"No, I mean...your parents, Papa," she mutters.
Zuko feels his heart drop into his stomach.
"They don't let me ask about them at school. I thought Professor Zon would tell me, but they said I should talk to you when I'm a grown up, Papa..."
"They're people you don't want to meet, Ursa. Well, at least one of them is."
"Why?"
"They are away, bear. They're happy away."
"They're gone?"
"Yes, but..."
"Gone gone? Like Uncle Sokka gone?" his eight-year-old daughter says as he lays her in her bed. He remains silent and nods his head, careful not to show any emotion.
"You have nothing to worry about, bear," he says and hesitates before he sits down on the side of her bed, tucking her hair behind her ear. Her hair is braided on the side, all neat and orderly while her bangs are haphazardly strewn about.
He can hear the wind screaming outside, and the beginning of the hammering of rain on the stain glass windows. Suddenly there's a flash of lightning, followed by a roll of thunder that seemed to echo around his child's bedroom. He stands up.
"'Papa," she says, her voice shaking. "Stay with me?"
He hesitates for a moment, then gingerly sits next to her, laying his back against the many silk pillows on her bed. She flings her pudgy arms around him, burrowing her face into his chest. Another flash of lightning makes her squirm. He can feel the hitches in her breathing as she tried to compose herself.
"Will you tell me a story, Daddy?" she asks, clutching her stuffed bear closer to her scarlet red night-robe. He knows she only calls him 'daddy' when she is tired.
He doesn't know how to tell a story-Mai usually does them. He's more of a support figure.
"Five hundred years ago," he began,"there lived a man named...Ziao. He was the lord of a land called Dragoneye. His brother...Prince, um, Li was their father's favorite son. He was better than Ziao in most things he did, which made Ziao resent and hate his brother. He wanted to be better than his brother and one day, most importantly, be king of the land.."
He could feel his child relax, and continued to tell his tale, occasionally pausing while he thought about how to continue the story without giving much away. "Years passed and Prince Li's only child died. Saddened by the death of his...um...daughter, Prince Ziao took advantage of this. He tried to persuade his father that he was the better choice as an heir because he had two living children. Prince Li did not mind-he did not care about power anymore after the loss of his only child. However, their father
was furious and ordered Prince Ziao to kill his firstborn child to feel the pain that I-uh, Li felt. And he agreed." he tells her.
A gasp from Ursa fills the air.
"Now, there's more to the story. Prince Ziao's wife, Saru, like all mothers do, went to protect her child. She made an exchange with the king-her life for her son's..." he trails off. Ursa had fallen asleep, her snores filling the room as her grip on her teddy bear loosens.
He smiles to himself and slowly gets up form the bed, careful not to disturb her. He has one hand on the door when his child's soft voice cuts through the air.
"Papa, you wouldn't do that to me, would you?" she asks tentatively.
His grip on the door tightens so much his knuckles turn white.
"I would never, Ursa," he replies as he walks back over to her bed. He crouches down so he's eye-level with her.
"I knew you wouldn't...Papa?"
"Yes, bear?"
"Was that a true story?"
"What do you think, bear?"
"Well, all myths are based off truth, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Right," he says after a pause, kissing her on the forehead as he closes her eyes. "I love you, Ursa. I would do that to you, never."
Author's Note:
I hope everyone had a nice summer! I'm going into my junior year of high school. It's been a rough year with a lot of homework. I've really been ignoring my fanfiction and writing in general. Still reading fanfics as much as usual, but I really lost a lot of inspiration to write. Like most of you longtime Avatar fans, I spent a good amount of time in the spring fangirlings over Korra when I should have been studying for AP Exams.
I'm also mad at Bryke for leaving us hanging on so many issues-what the hell happened to Sokka? Is it so much to ask that we see Zuko's daughter? I mean, she is the Fire Lady. We saw her son. And what about Lin? The most we got into her character was that she had a thing with Tenzin? How about her childhood? She probably spent most of it with Tenzin so we could have had a lot of cute baby!Lin and baby!Tenzin flashbacks and maybe some insight onto Toph as a mom and Lin's dad-whoever that may be.
Regarding this little oneshot, I wanted Zuko to refer to his daughter as 'bear' since Ursa does mean 'bear' in Latin. Saru isn't really a girl's name, but I thought it would work. Ursa-Saru, Ozai-Zao, if it wasn't obvious. I think I wrote Zuko out of character, but I hope it doesn't distract from the story too much. I'll be shocked if Zuko didn't end up naming his daughter Ursa in the canon.
Though Honora would be gladly appreciated.
-Emik