Author's Note: I don't want to be sued so I want to put this out there. I don't own The Hunger Games trilogy or the characters from the books. They belong to the amazing Suzanne Collins and I have to say that I'm grateful for her creating Panem and all of the characters that live in that world. I'm borrowing them for this story. This is an AU version of how Mockingjay might have gone if Peeta hadn't been able to get over being hijacked and had fallen in love with someone else. Reviews appreciated but not necessary.
A raven haired girl with pale blue eyes watched on her television screen at home as the 74th Annual Hunger Games started to play out. It was terrible, the images that were on her screen. There were many times as she watched that she would close her eyes to block out the images although it didn't always help. She thought it was a wonder that anyone who survived didn't go completely mad. As she watched right now, she grew to hate the Games.
For years she sat indifferent, watching kids around her age killing each other because the Capital said that they had to do it, because it was considered entertainment as well as a punishment for an uprising years ago. There had been many times, in years past, when her parents didn't force her to watch the Games at all. This was the first year that she truly sat to watch and she was disgusted with what she saw. It killed her to think that Tributes from her own District were so willing to go into the arena to fight to the death.
She was grateful, however, for those same Tributes. Without them, she knew that she could've easily been chosen one year for the Hunger Games. She knew that she never would've survived. Her will was strong, yes, but she didn't feel especially brave. She wasn't physically capable enough either. In fact, she'd never raised her hand to another before. Not even in a fit of anger. She knew that even if she had been able to form an alliance with someone, she never would've survived past the first day. It tied her stomach up in knots and when she went to bed that night, she cried herself to sleep.
She knew enough not to question the Hunger Games. Not out loud anyway. The questions could swirl around in her head all that she liked and it wasn't like she could stop them. It didn't do any good though. The questions seemed to pile up and she had nothing in the way of answers. She didn't see how she could've been so blind to what was going on for so long. How did it take this long for her to realize that the Capitol was suppressing the freedoms of so many? How did it take this long for her to realize that the Hunger Games were evil and twisted, a form of punishment to the Districts?
When the winners came to District 2, she had been right there in the front, trying to get a glimpse at them. Never had there been two winners before and she wanted to see them for herself. She needed to understand what made the pair so special. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark had stirred something inside her and she wanted to see them with her own eyes. Somehow that made the gnawing in the pit of her stomach worse. She knew that there were whispers already of a rebellion and she wondered what would happen if the whispers led to something more real. Never in her life had she thought about running away, not until now.
Her life in District 2 had been a good one after all. She had never been whipped or beaten for any reason. She always had more than enough food to eat and a nice house to live in. She had never wanted for anything, not as a child and certainly not now. Actually it was almost as good as living in the Capitol, although not quite as good as she knew they had it in District 1. That, however, was what made her feel so sick now. None of it seemed right at all. None of it seemed fair. How could she have so much when she knew that others had so little?
She couldn't sleep that night. It was the first of many sleepless nights. Sometimes, when she did try to sleep, she'd wake up because of the nightmares. She didn't understand how her parents and her siblings didn't have nightmares too after watching the Hunger Games. It didn't seem to affect them like it did her. Now she tried to sleep as little as possible. She would nap whenever she could but rarely did she close her eyes for more than 20 or 30 minutes at a time. If she did, she knew that those nightmarish images would flash into her mind again and she'd wake up screaming. Usually, when she had her nightmares, she was always in the middle of it, trying to fight for her life in the Hunger Games. She shuddered to think of what it would really be like.
Staring at her ceiling, she wondered if she could get out of District 2. She didn't know where she would go but she couldn't stay there anymore. It was stifling her and she didn't know how much more she could take. While she didn't do it all at once, she started to pack things slowly. She had two bags that she thought that she could take with her and her best friend was about to become a Peacekeeper. He said that he would take her as far as District 7 since that was where he'd be going but she was going to have to be careful and he wouldn't be able to help her if she got caught. That was more than she needed, more than she expected to get from anyone. While he wouldn't say it, she knew that her friend didn't want to help the Capitol either but it wasn't like he had a choice. She, however, was making her choice.
She had one bag with a few pieces of clothing. She tried to find the simplest dress and the simplest pants and shirt that she had. Those went in the bag along with a few other items. She wore all black, taking boots from her younger brother, the night that she left. There was one place in the whole train that she could hide and that's where she went, sneaking on with the help of her friend. He brought her some food but she had a bag with food and water in it. She hoped that it would be enough to survive until she could make it to another district. The only other things that she took were some books and toys that she used to play with as a child. She didn't know why but those things felt important to take with her.