I need to fix this with him, I can't handle him hating me anymore. I'm supposed to be the strong one, I'm supposed to be strong – for him. But this is hurting him more than it's helping and I don't think I can take one more penetrating scowl from those beautiful blue eyes.
All he did was breathe. He said nothing and stared straight ahead. Spencer tried to make eye contact with him but his blue eyes continued on, piercing the cream wallpaper, all the while refusing to lock onto hers. "Toby..." he stayed silent, "say something." she pleaded.
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know..." she paused, then "Tell me you believe me, tell me you still love me, tell me nothing's changed!" Spencer blurted desperately. "Tell me someth- please Toby..." she trailed off when she realised she was failing to restrain her tears and a couple came trickling down her cheek. She was strong and she hardly ever let people see her cry, but with Toby she was always okay just being herself.
Toby turned himself around from his position on Spencer's red couch, took her hand in his and looked her straight in the eye "I believe you and I still love you." A part of Spencer rested with a welcomed easiness, she hadn't ruined everything. Then Toby continued "But everything has changed."
"What?" she breathed in despair as her body re-tensed.
"Because now I love you even more than I did forty-five minutes ago." though her heart leapt in glee, her face creased with confusion but before she could ask why or what the hell he was talking about, Toby leant over and kissed her softly. As their tongued entwined, Spencer felt a calm satisfaction but her puzzlement caused her to pull away.
Their lips detached and Spencer breathed deeply before muttering "But, I don't understand?"
Toby scoffed a laugh at her confusion "I can't believe you thought the truth would make me more mad than I was before! I was just processing – all the staring" He pointed at the wall that he'd been glaring at and they laughed together.
"You saved my life Spence. You... you broke up with me to keep me safe and even though I was awful to you, you took it, because you knew you were helping me. God, you are the strongest person I know..." Toby looked toward carpet and breathed deeply. They sat there for a few moments, hand in hand and just sat in silence. When Toby lifted his head, his eyes gleamed with a glossy layer of water and were a redder shade than usual. "You were put through Hell" he whispered, as though in disbelief "and I didn't help you. I'm so sorry Spencer."
"Toby, don't talk like that. How were you supposed to know? You thought, you thought I cheated on you. I would have hated me."
Eyes still glazed, he looked into hers and smiled as if to say "I promise I'm okay." To soften the regret that overtook Spencer and she relaxed a little but Toby regretted every harsh word he'd uttered."