You love her.
You've loved her since she tried you with a full heart "Enchantée". You've loved her since she smiled a smile that – you learned – is only hers. You love her because she knew you were no good and still tried to make you laugh. You love her because she is fierce for what she believes and for what she loves and you absolutely adore her because she is the smartest person you've ever came to meet. You love her and your hands were tied, but you still held on to that love because you wanted her safe.
You loved the way she stood up for her sisters and the way she would never let anyone hurt the little girl. You hurt her and you will never forgive yourself, because no one has the right to take the light out of her beautiful big eyes. You will never forgive yourself for leaving and you will never forgive yourself for staying. You got greedy. You wanted her to love you back, so you fought. You gave up everything for her and you would do it all over again, because you can't imagine your life without this petite woman. She has your heart.
You love her because she was sick and worried more about it being genetic, when she didn't want her sisters getting sick too. You love her because she studied harder and worked harder to find a way in all this madness to make it better. You loved her when she let you in to help. You love her because she never lost hope and she never lost her humor – even when she was pale as a paper and you knew her coughing was getting the best of her.
You loved her when she was in the hospital and still believed you could find a way out, if not for her, for the others. You worked harder too, sleepless nights and all. You knew she wasn't getting better but you tried your very best – all the way to impossible and back. She loved you and you loved her and you couldn't bear to lose her, not again. You fought with every cell and every atom and everything you had, because you love her.
You love her because she said "Score" when you told her you found it. You could fix it. You could fix her. You love her because she smiled her smile at you and held your hand and said you looked terrible but she would still love you, bags under eyes and messy hair and all. You love her because she calls you her scientist and it sounds adorable on her tongue.
You adore her because she speaks too fast when she's excited about something and her hands move around like she needs it to complete a sentence. You love the way she'll sit still, chest rising and falling rapidly trying to catch her breath and waiting to see if you got the whole speech. You love her when sometimes she'll just look at the night sky because something that beautiful shouldn't go unnoticed – so you look at her, because what is the night when Cosima is naked and beautiful and contemplative. You love her because who cares about anything when you have this gorgeous girl resting her head on your chest.
You love the way she'll lock your fingers with hers at night and you will wake up to a complete mess of sheets and blankets and dreads. You love her because she is real and unique and yours. You love her for everything she is. You love her when she blushes everytime you say you love her.
You fall for her everyday and again because she closes her eyes when your nose touches hers. You know every inch of her and she knows every inch of you and it's scary and overwhelming. And you love it.
You love her because she's asleep right now and her leg is between yours and her arm has already moved to rest on your waist. You love her because you'll have this forever, but still doesn't seem enough time.
You love her because you propose on your own geek way a few hours ago and she called you a dork. But mostly, you love her because she said yes.