He who is not bold enough
to be stared at from across
the abyss is not bold enough
to stare into it himself.
By The Years End
A fan-work - Descendants of Darkness
music rec: Eternal Soul - Ruto (Flowers for Jun), Don't Come Home - Emma Blackery
It was storming that fall day, like Gods clashed in the sky it was powerful and relentless. The enraged voice of the doctor was the only thing that could reach the stubborn mans ears over it, the storm mirroring what was in the man's heart. The world seemed to be collapsing in on itself, or was it truly just Tsuzuki's mind, finally caving in after so much abuse?
"Tsuzuki," lighting flashed, the rain poured down harder.
Here stand two men in front of a cathedral where they first met, the glassy wine colored eyes lost the will to look up at the silver devil any longer, the disturbingly personal argument they had shared leaving him staggered, but that's how it always was between them.
Tsuzuki's breathing hitched, the truth in Muraki's words petrifying, his mouth gapped then closed to bite back tears. He closed his eyes, he wobbled under the pressure, his mind submerged into anxiety and emerged in a safer place. A place where there was no Kazutaka Muraki standing in front of him, pulling up a past that was buried deep down into his cavernous and broken soul, by a different person, a dead one.
His surroundings morphed and blended like paint on a canvas, everything turned bright and quiet to hide away from a dark reality, he'd been doing it since he was small.
He fell, and all around him he remembered, remembered a singular smiling face in the crowd with an outstretched hand to match, it's voice waxing and waning in sweet lullaby, holding him close, sanctuary.
'I promise little brother, we'll be together forever, to earth and heaven, to the very end!'
"Ruka?" Tsuzuki called out, the sweet face from days past melted away into silver eyes and hair, "Muraki?"
"Asato." Muraki whispered, he grasped the collapsing mans four-arms. "Asato?" his forehead touched the others.
"I-I..." with a whimper he fell onto the man and the doctor wrapped his arms around the chaotic other. He felt himself slipping from consciousness, fingers clasped tightly at Muraki's lapel and face buried in his neck he shook and like a mother to her babe Muraki hushed him.
"Have you finally realized the truth?" Muraki's voice like flesh against silk, the only response was a desperate drawn out 'why'. "You have haven't you?" the crumbling man succumbed to racking sobs, he tried to pull away but Muraki held steadfast and with no will to do anything but cry he relented and buried himself in silver beauty.
The doctor sighed, content. Having Tsuzuki in his arms felt like coming home, lean and warm, chest heaving against his, arms around his neck and warm tears down his neck.
"Muraki" his voice finally came back, and Muraki held him tighter to his chest, "What am I gonna do?"
"You don't have to do anything beloved, just stay in my arms" he said, laying his cheek against Tsuzuki's soft brunette head.
Neither spoke a beat, and then "...Muraki, I-I feel..."
"...Yes?"
"Broken..." his eyes drifted closed, "tired..."
"I've found that being broken can be the best thing that can happen to a person...maybe it is best you rest for now," Muraki spoke "I'll carry you to a bed" he said, his tone soft and tender, he wondered where he had learned to speak so gently.
"But if I sleep I'll dream," his voice was breathy against Muraki's neck, "dreams don't lie."
"Sleep my love," he hooked an arm under Tsuzuki's knee and hauled him up, Tsuzuki clung tightly to his shoulders like a drowning man. "Dream of me, I am your champion, I worship you and there is no where I will not go to bring you back into my arms." Muraki's heart was fire.
Amethyst eyes looked into burning silver with confused desperation and bitter hope.
"M-Muraki I..." Muraki caressed his face, their foreheads met and both men closed their eyes, basking in the sweet intimacy.
"Sleep," snowy white feathers fell all around as they slowly phased out of this space to travel to another. "Sleep and wake free."
Have you ever lived a lie so long, that you started believing it was the truth?