Disclaimer: I am sure you all probably already know that I am not Stephenie Meyer.
Summary: Alice invites Jasper to her grandma's house. Contains shameless naughty bits and some fluffy family fun.
Rating: M for language, shamelessness, and lemons.
WARNING: There is a brief mention once or twice about some mild girl-on-girl action, but none of it actually takes place in the fic. My versions of Steph's characters are just...freaky like that and I could not resist throwing it in.
I suppose Alice's grandma is an OC, but she only has about two or three lines.
Although it is not made clear throughout the fic, Alice's parents are Carlisle and Esme (they are addressed as Mom and Daddy).
All canon pairings except for Bella & Jacob.
Freaking Severus-Toujours! Thank you for beta-ing!
ALICE
"Praise the sweet planet earth for continuously rotating on its axis and providing us with sunlight and then moonlight and, at last, for bringing us to this highly anticipated final day of the semester!" I kicked my way through the door of my dorm, making an explosive entrance.
"Wow. That is different. Most people I've ran into today have just been praising Jesus," Ben walked past me carrying a large and heavy-looking box. "Congrats on being done," he said on his way out.
"I take it your astronomy final went well?" Angela popped her head out from her closet.
"I'm feeling pretty damn good about it. I am so glad it's all over and I'm looking forward to doing not a shit thing for the next four weeks and two days," I threw myself on my bed.
"Yay for a successful first semester of college!"
"Damn, Ang! We're just going on vacation!" My eyes bulged at her nearly barren half of the room. "Don't tell me you're moving in with someone else next semester! Look, I'm sorry I kissed you at that party last weekend, okay? I'll admit it was a bit raunchy and lesbian-like, especially when I grabbed your ass and grinded on you. In my defense you were looking very pretty that night. I was buzzed and just a little too excited about class being over. Ben and Jasper seemed to really enjoy it. I mean I love you to death and everything, but not like that. You know I only have eyes for Jasper. I didn't think it bothered you that much. Okay, yeah, you were tipsier than I was but not enough to not know what was happening. You didn't stop me so I thought—"
"Alice, shut the fuck up! I'm not going anywhere!" Angela yelled. "And what the fuck ever about the kiss, I said. I'm sure there will be plenty more of those in the next three and a half years, anyway. I mean come on. It's college. And we're us," she stumbled out of her closet carrying a mound of clothes. "I'm just changing things up for next semester. I'm tired of looking at the same decorations all over my wall."
"Oh, okay." I let out a sigh of relief. "What time is your flight again tonight?"
"Nine. That means I need to be out of here by at least 6:30. Which means I only have four hours to get the rest of my shit out of here—BEN! Where the fuck are you?"
"Where was he taking that box?"
"To the post office."
"Post office! And you're hollering for him already? It hasn't even been two minutes."
"Yeah well he needs to hurry it up. I didn't have sex with him ten minutes before my final this morning for nothing. I was late and that dean lady-bitch tried to kick me out of the classroom because of him," she carelessly tossed her unfolded clothes into a large suitcase, hangers and all.
"Morning sex in exchange for manual labor. I like that."
"Right, but first you and Whitlock need to get to the actually having sex part."
"Oh, fuck you!"
"Didn't you hear what I just said? I said, right, but first YOU and WHITLOCK—"
"Fuck you as in shut the fuck up," I clarified.
"Seriously, Alice. I thought you, of all people, would have been the first to lose your virginity this semester. All that kinky shit you say you're into. What the hell? Ah don't tell me you're all talk and no action! I look up to you, Alice," Angela looked disappointed.
"I said I like the idea of using anal plugs and fucking Jasper doggy style with a—"
"Look, the point is Whitlock hasn't popped that cherry yet. You guys have been together how long?"
"Well, Angela, it almost happened. Twice. But my roommate, who shall remain nameless, busted in cursing and yelling about wanting to castrate her boyfriend Ben for falling asleep after she promised me she'd let me have the room to myself for the night. Twice. I mean I would have kept going, but Jas—I guess he just isn't into having an audience."
"Unacceptable!"
"Who? The intruding, lying ass roommate? Yes, I agree."
"I mean Whitlock not being into the audience thing. Ben doesn't give a shit."
"Believe me, Ang. I know."
I've walked in on them having sex countless times. And they never stopped. Ben would always greet me. I'd greet him back. Angela would apologize unapologetically and then beg Ben to go deeper. I have also woken up to them fucking recklessly at three in the morning…countless times. I didn't care.
"I'll be gone tonight. You're not leaving until morning, right?"
"Right."
"Well this is your chance. Then you can get him to help you do some last-minute packing."
"He's also coming to spend a few days with me at my grandma's house. We're spending the holidays at her place this year."
"Shit, that's right. And how many people live in that house? Don't you have, like, ten siblings?"
"I have two. Bella and Emmett. You've met them before. Twice."
"All the more reason to get this shit over with now! Though, that would be the perfect setting for anyone to have sex…in a house full of family. I mean—I mean really, what family gathering isn't full of ghastly revelations and nonstop melodrama? Somebody's got to be keeping the peace and making love somewhere."
"Making love, donkey sex, fucking like monkeys," Jasper strode in through our open door. "Why is it that I always walk in on you two talking about this?"
"It's a sign, Whitlock," Angela cocked her eyebrows at him. "Also, you totally just dropped the f-bomb! Never thought I'd see the day."
"End-of-semester joy does that to people sometimes," Jasper took a very close seat next to me on my bed. He smelled tasty and fuckable.
"I thought you'd have been done long before me, Jas. It was only an abstract algebra final for fuck's sake. Nowhere near as hard as elementary astronomy." My boyfriend is so smart.
"I finished that thing in thirty-six minutes. I was just packing my stuff. You're moving, Ang?" Jasper frowned at her bare wall.
"She'd never leave me. I'm too much of a good kisser," I smirked.
"It's true. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to have her kiss my neck, my back, my nipples, my stomach, my thighs, the crack of my ass, my wet and yearning pu—"
"Now I think I'd probably have to be totally shitfaced for that one. Maybe."
"Alice, shut the fuck up. You ruined it. I was doing something," Angela scowled at me.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Please carry on."
"You fucked it up, I said."
"In other news, you look beautiful in these sweatpants," Jasper plucked at the thick, cottony material covering my thigh.
"I know, right! I borrowed them from my boyfriend. Had to be comfy during my exam!"
"I see. He was looking for them earlier. They're his favorite pair."
"Yeah? Would he like to get back into them?" I stood up and pulled at the loosely fitted elastic waistband of Jasper's sweatpants. "There's enough room for us both."
"Huh. Sex inside of a pair of sweats. Great idea, Alice," Angela mused.
"Shh!" I hissed at her. "Or you could come in here with me, Jasper. I don't think the boyfriend would mind very much. I've already warmed them up for you!"
"And moistened them up, too, I hope," Angela snorted.
"Oh, my! Look, baby. My panties have strawberries on the front! You like strawberries, don't you? All sweet and ripe and shit. Mmm," I slowly ran my tongue across my lips.
"Show him the fucking ripe ass strawberries, Alice!"
Without a second thought I yanked the oversized sweatpants off my hips and let them fall to my ankles. Jasper's eyes about popped out of his head as I knocked him back on the bed and swung one knee over his head. I sat on his chest and scooted up just enough so that my crotch was touching his slightly stubbly chin.
Oh, that is nice. I officially like prickly shit on my crotch.
"Oh my fucking God," Angela pulled her chair out from under her desk and took a seat—facing us.
Our door was still wide open.
"Want to try a strawberry? They're pretty juicy," I lifted my hips and brought my crotch closer to his mouth. "Juice-trickling-down-your-chin juicy."
His expression told me he was turned on, humored, and a little nervous. I knew that he knew it was all fun and games. Wish he would play along instead of being all courteous and shit! At least he's not stopping me.
"Eat the fucking strawberry, Whitlock!" Angela yelled. "Alice. Grind it all in his face."
It was never good when Angela and I were alone with Jasper. She loved to torture him and the ferocious animal in me couldn't resist giving in to her vulgar demands. She always had good ones, too. This one was the raunchiest to date.
"Oh, Jasper," I pressed my strawberry underwear clad pussy on his sealed-shut lips. "Mm-hmm, just like that. Ahh right there, baby," I moaned as I gently rocked my hips back and forth.
This was making me horny for real.
"Ang! Mailing out that box cost me seventeen dollars! I demand a reimbursement," Ben barged in. "Oh, damn!"
"Shut the fucking door," Angela commanded. "It's about to happen at last and we get to watch."
Suddenly Jasper was flipping me back on the bed and grinding his semi-solid cock between my legs.
I gasped.
This was new.
Well. My strawberry is juicy for sure, now. Juice-seeping-into-my-panties juicy.
"You and your little friend are insatiable," he growled into my ear.
Just as quickly as he attacked me Jasper crawled to the opposite end of the bed, conveniently placing a pillow in his lap.
"How the fuck can you even turn her down after all of that? Are you incompetent, gay, or fucking stupid?" Angela fumed.
"Seriously?" Jasper smirked.
"Oh, Jesus. I'd rather you be gay or fucking stupid," in a dramatic gesture, Angela threw her hand over her forehead and sighed.
"Your loud mouth ruined the mood for me. Sorry," Jasper admitted.
"Fuck you, Whitlock. Oh, wait. Never mind. Because you don't fuck!"
After a few minutes things had cooled down. I took off to the bathroom to change out of my damp underwear and when I came back somebody had already popped in a movie. Angela and Ben—but mostly Ben—packed up the rest of her shit and bickered in the background while Jasper and I snuggled peacefully on the bed and enjoyed the apocalyptic snow invading New York in The Day After Tomorrow.
After that was over, Jasper played another end-of-the-world movie, I Am Legend, but I dozed off after the first ten minutes.
"Wake up!"
Angela's shrill voice interrupted my dream featuring a pink, glittery Cadillac Escalade tearing through the snow, trying to outrun a massive one-eyed mutant bacteria cell with legs.
"Bitch!" I swung at her but she stepped back just in time.
"I love you, too. I'm heading out. Give me a hug," she spread her arms.
After I struggled to sit up for a few seconds, Jasper helped me up and I hopped off the bed.
"Text me the second your plane lands," I threw my arms around her. "Have a safe flight, enjoy the holidays and I'll see you next year."
"No kiss goodbye?" Ben hinted from the door.
"Sure, Ben. Whatever you want," I stretched up on my tiptoes and pecked Angela on the cheek. "I'm gonna miss your crazy ass."
"Yeah and you better call me as soon as it's over tonight. That is, unless I'm still on the plane. Text me anyway, so I can know at what time it happened. I want to file this away for future reference," Angela requested. "Whitlock, stop being a pussy. It's getting old. I'll see you guys in a month. Bye."
"Happy holidays!" Jasper waved her off.
As soon as the door shut behind Angela and Ben I hopped back onto the bed with Jasper and straddled his hips.
"So," I lightly traced the shapes on the front of Jasper's blue and green argyle sweater. Him in preppy wear makes me insanely hot. "It's just us. What should we do now?"
"Well. We missed dinner at the dining hall, so I think we should head out for some grub. And then we should get to packing your stuff, as I'm almost one hundred percent sure you have not started yet," he started to get out of the bed with me in tow but I shoved him back down.
Aww! He offered to help me pack and I don't even have to have sex with him!
But I want to.
"Wouldn't you rather stay in the bed and have sex with me?" I slipped my hands underneath his sweater and leaned in to kiss his lips. "Angela's on her way to the opposite side of the country, so we shouldn't have to worry about her interrupting anything."
He swallowed.
"Al, why are you in such a hurry?"
"Because I'm horny! I have been horny all through high school and now that I've found someone I know is worth it I want to do it already! It's like getting drunk or high for the first time. I want to know what it's like. I'm ready. I've been ready. You don't want to?" I pouted.
"No! I mean yes! What I meant by that was…why can't we just go get some food first?"
"Oh."
"I know you're hungry."
"I kinda am, actually."
True to form, Jasper led us to a Texan-style restaurant a few blocks away from the university. He feasted happily on gumbo and something saturated in barbecue sauce while I munched on a salad and grilled barbecue chicken.
On our way back we discovered our school's programming board had organized an end-of-semester block party. Shows how much in tune we are with upcoming events and activities on campus. Oh, well. The important part is we made it just in time to snatch up all the good treats. We chose to stick around when more students started showing up, all of which had obviously decided to pre-game before coming out. It was pretty entertaining to watch our drunken peers stumbling around trying to eat frozen yogurt and dance at the same time. I even managed to pull Jasper into the crowd of dry humping, future leaders of the world and got him to shake his cute little booty for me.
It was so fun…until a massive fistfight broke out over a smashed bottle of vodka.
Wasting no time, Jasper scooped me up and carefully squeezed us out of the riotous disorder. Once we were at a safe distance he put me back down and we peacefully strolled the two blocks back to my dorm, hand in hand. I hadn't noticed it was nearly eleven o' clock until we walked inside my room and my huge digital clock told me so.
"Ah, shit. We gotta be out of here by 4:30 in the morning if we don't want to miss our seven o' clock flight to my grandma's. That's in five and a half hours."
"Yup, and we still have to pack your stuff."
"Yuck. Packing is one of my least favorite things to do. I think we might have to have a little fun before we get started. That heroic shit you did back there was so fucking hot," I violently shoved Jasper against the door.
"Yeah, well, even with my help I'm sure we'll be up for the next five hours stuffing your bags. We need all the time we can get."
"I get my shit done under pressure, trust me," I jerked his head down for a kiss.
"Alice," he stiffened before our lips had a chance to meet.
"Jasper you promised!"
"I promised? Promised what?"
"You promised after we ate we'd come back and have sex! Don't think I forgot."
"I said no such thing," he laughed.
"This is not funny. I cannot believe you are turning me down. Again," I glowered.
"You are way off. I know you, Alice. You're going to spend at least five minutes on each outfit trying to decide whether it stays or goes. If we rush and you forget something, you will not be happy. And we have a lot of clothes and shoes to sift through. Everyone knows your clothes are your life…after me, of course," he showed me a crooked smile. "I know something as simple as a forgotten scarf could potentially ruin your entire vacation. We wouldn't want that, would we?"
Fuck me, he's right.
"Fine," I wrenched out of his sweatpants, letting them crumple to the floor behind me as I marched towards my dresser.
"What are you doing?" He was so obviously amused.
"Just getting comfortable, Jasper," I hissed his name as I retrieved an itty bitty pair of shorts from my drawer and stepped into them.
"Cute."
Ugh.
"Yeah. Cute. Let us see you try to resist this now," I dove into my closet, half-naked ass in the air, and started picking prospective boots to take along with me.
"Easy."
I peered over my shoulder and saw him covering his eyes.
Piss me off.
After a few minutes Jasper played some music and we got into a smooth flow of accepting or rejecting hundreds of clothing items. We would stop to stretch or hop and shimmy around the middle of the room to our favorite songs until I had a grand total of three fully stuffed bags and my carry on. I know, I know. Excessive for only a month's vacation but my shoes needed their own bag, too!
We had just enough time to take quick showers before it was time for us to head out to the airport.
Once in the plane, we snuggled and slept through the entire five-hour flight from Atlanta to Seattle. My daddy already had the chauffer waiting for us at baggage claim and the ride to Grandma's house was quick and smooth. I ran up the porch steps and before I could bust in and make my signature explosive entrance, my big brother Emmett flung the door open.
"Aww, my extra little baby sis is home!" He hollered with open arms. "Come here!" He wrapped his massive, rock-solid arms around me and lifted me off the ground.
"Emmett! I can't breathe!" I had zero room to thrash around. His grip was insane.
"I don't care!" He held me for a few more seconds. "Hey, hold up!" He finally put me down. I glanced up and he was shooting major daggers at Jasper as he cautiously climbed the steps. "Who the fuck is this?"
"Ah, I umm—"
"ALICE!" Emmett roared.
"Run!" I grabbed Jasper's hand and we ducked past him into the house.
"That better not be your boyfriend," he barked behind us.
"Holy shit!" Jasper's voice emitted a tiny hint of terror as we staggered across the living room.
"Don't worry about him."
"Is—is that Emmett Cullen? Defensive lineman of the Chicago Bear—"
"NO!"
Fuck I didn't know Jasper watched football like that! Thought his ass was into the history and discovery channels! And encore westerns! There was no way he came off as an ESPN kind of guy.
We didn't stop running until we made it safely into the kitchen full of women and other witnesses.
"Oh my God it's my baby!" I was instantly attacked with hugs and kisses from Rosalie, my former babysitter and present sister-in-law. "Aww, I missed you so much!"
Everyone else in the kitchen, including my mother and my grandmother, paused their lives completely to welcome me. It took at least five minutes for the pandemonium to calm down. Jasper just watched it all happen from the entrance.
And just as quickly as it happened, everyone went back to minding their business. Madness.
"Rosie, you look stunning! If I didn't know the truth about you having a baby less than three months ago I would have slapped you unconscious for lying to me!" I gawked at her gorgeous post-baby figure.
"Aw, thanks! I've still got about ten pounds to go but I have bounced back pretty quickly. Thank goodness."
Aw. She looked so happy.
"Ten pounds my ass! You had nothing to lose in the first place. That pregnancy was all baby," my mom chimed in.
"No, Mom, I definitely gained twenty-five pounds," Rosalie laughed.
"Well, I never noticed anything."
"That's because it started burning off right away."
"Another reason why breastfeeding is a beautiful thing! I breastfed all three of my babies until they were at least twelve months old and I never—"
"Gross, too much information!" I joked. "Well where is this niece of mine that no one ever bothered to send me pictures of? Rude!"
"That was all Emmett. He doesn't want any pictures of her on the internet. Plans to keep her as far away from the spotlight as possible. He said he was going to mail you some but I guess that never happened," Rosalie shook her head. "That's partly my fault, though. I shouldn't have let him take charge of such an arduous project."
"Typical."
"Anyway, she is sleeping, of course. She actually just went down about half an hour ago but she should be up in two hours."
"Can't wait to see her. If she looks anything like Emmett she's screwed," I kept a straight face.
"Speaking of Emmett, why was he yelling a minute ago?"
"About that. I need you to talk some sense into him."
"Oh, Lord. What happened now?"
"This is Jasper," I grabbed and yanked him away from the wall.
"Aw, so this is him! Hello, handsome. I'm Rosalie," she gladly extended her arm. "He's cute," she whispered conspicuously.
"Yeah and if given the opportunity Emmett will tear that cute face up."
"Hell no he won't," Rosalie asserted decisively. "I'll take care of him," she glared towards the living room.
"Thank you very much!" I folded my arms and huffed victoriously. "Say, where's Bella?"
"I was just on the phone with her. She's on her way. Said she's gonna smother the baby with kisses, bite her cheek until she bruises, and squeeze her until something cracks," Mom informed with a warm smile.
"Hah! Yeah, right," I snorted. "I'd love to see her get past Emmett first."
Poor kid will never get to live a normal life with a scary ass looking daddy like Emmett.
"She was talking about you, Alice," she clarified.
"Fabulous."
While Rosalie took off to handle the giant bear, I snuck Jasper out through the opposite exit and decided now would be the best time to give him a grand tour of the house. There was not much to show upstairs, except the three bedrooms that belonged to Emmett, Bella and me whenever we would come to stay for an extended amount of time.
Oh and I almost forgot about the guest bedroom.
"Here it is. This room is pretty notorious for shit going down in it," everything looks exactly the same.
"Notorious? What kind of stuff went down in here?"
"This room holds a reputation for a lot of first timers. And by first timers I mean sex. Emmett, Rosie, Bella, a few cousins…hell, even my mother all lost their virginity in this room."
"Oh, wow. Is that—is that some kind of family tradition or something?"
"Unintentionally so. You know what that means, right?" My hand slowly crept down to his ass and gave it a squeeze.
"Why do I suddenly have a feeling you're making this up?"
Shit. How the hell does he know this?
"Not sure. But we can go ask Emmett and Rosie right now if you want."
"No, no. That's okay. I believe you."
"ALICE! COME HERE, MUNCHY POOKS!" I knew that voice from anywhere.
"And that would be the Bella. Let's go."
My big sister Bella kept to her word. As soon as I stepped in she tackled me to the floor and kissed me until my cheeks hurt. She also bit me and nearly squeezed the air out of me. If that isn't sisterly love then I don't know what is.
"Bella! You act like you haven't seen me in years. It has only been two months!"
"Doesn't change the fact that you're still my baby."
"We've been through this before. I'm Rosie's baby…I was Rosie's baby. We all know the drama behind this misunderstanding you seem to have, sister, so I think it would be in your best interest to just shut the fuck up!" I half joked.
"Alice that was thirteen years ago."
"Doesn't change the fact that it still happened!" I mocked.
"Tiny One!" Bella's fiancé, Jacob, busted through with his arms spread wide.
Here we go again.
Jacob is about as colossal as Emmett is. Of course he'd have to be, since they play side by side on the football field. His hugs are painful.
"Jacob Black? Center offensive lineman of the—" Jasper tried to keep his mouth closed. "Alice, how come you never told me?"
"Because their heads are big enough as it is!" I spoke in earnest.
"Ah, a fan! How's it going? You can call me Jake," Jacob extended his fist.
"Jasper."
"So are you a friend of the family?"
"He is family. My boyfriend," I growled.
"Aw, I've heard about you! He is cute, Alice!" Bella elbowed me. "I like those jeans on him. He's got a nice butt," she whispered.
"And Cullen's cool with that?" Jacob asked. "I mean he sure as hell gave me a hard time when I started seeing his gorgeous little sister," he jerked Bella close and kissed her cheek.
"He will be on his best behavior," Rosalie walked in. "Whoever wants to hang out with us in the family room is more than welcome. We've got goodies, games and horror movies!"
Jasper and I barely stepped into the family room before the interrogations began. Emmett leaped out of his chair and squeezed his giant ass between us. He dropped his heavy arm across Jasper's shoulder and curled it around his neck.
"So. Jasper, huh? The fuck kind of name is that?"
Rosalie sighed. "Emmett, you failed. Leave him alone."
"I'm named after my granddad," Jasper answered.
"Yeah, whatever. How old are you? You have a job? What are your intentions with my baby sister?"
How original.
"Emmett shut the fuck up!" I snapped. "I am eighteen years old. A grown woman!"
"And I'm twenty-eight years old. A grown ass man! With plenty of experience. I know what this chump's after," his arm tightened around Jasper's neck.
"Is that so? Tell me, then. What's he after?" I was two seconds away from chucking my foot at his knee.
"Your brother's autograph, duh!" Emmett stepped in front of Jasper and the near-death grip he had around his neck turned into a one-armed man-hug. "I take it you're a fan?"
"Huge fan. Still can't believe Alice told me nothing about it."
"Because she's a hater!" He yelled. "Pleasure to meet you, Jasper. Rose says you're a good guy. She's never lied about anything before."
"That's a lie," Bella corrected. "But not in this case. I'm getting good vibes from every angle," she tried to be slick as she eyeballed Jasper's ass.
"Bella, gross! He's a minor!" I barked.
"What!" She took two wide steps away from us. "He's still in high school?"
"No, he's just incredibly smart. Skipped a grade. Could have skipped more, actually, but he chose not to," I announced with pride.
"I'll be eighteen in two weeks," Jasper laughed.
"That's known as statutory rape, Tiny One. Shame on you," Jacob shook his head shamefully. "Tsk. Your mama taught you better than that."
If only you knew.
"Jake shut the fuck up," Emmett rumbled.
"That reminds me. Alice you'll have to tell me all about your bedtime adventures with Jasper later on. Your big sister wants to know. He looks like he's good," Bella said casually.
There's nothing to tell.
"Bella," Emmett warned.
"Emmett she's an adult now. I mean she's still adorable as shit but we don't have to censor ourselves around her anymore. Aw, time flies so fast," Bella sniffled.
"On that note, why don't you shut the fuck up before I censor my foot up your ass?"
Silence.
"That didn't make any kind of sense."
"No. It didn't," Rosalie agreed with a strange look on her face. "Anyone in the mood for Charades?"
Picking teams was easy. Boys against girls. We were kicking their asses the first couple of rounds until Emmett and Jacob started cheating and suddenly their score was nearly even with ours. We called them out countless times but naturally they denied our accusations even when we had tangible evidence. After a while we started not to give a fuck anymore. Eventually Bella and I decided to play fair and began cheating as well.
"Rose used to be your blank when you were five," Bella hinted uninterestedly.
"Babysitter," this was starting to get boring as shit.
"What the fuck, B! You didn't even try!" Jacob yelled.
"Didn't try what?"
"To be slick! You're not allowed to talk," he repeated for about the millionth time.
"Who gives a shit?" Bella added three points to our tally and sat back down.
"I saw that," Emmett cocked his head towards the whiteboard and drew one of our homemade cue cards from the stack. "K—the fuck?" Confusion creased his forehead.
"Baby, let me see," Rosalie beckoned for him to go to her.
"No, no. They drew a picture. I know what it is. Okay, Kid," Emmett addressed Jasper. He and Jacob both dubbed him 'The Kid' sometime after we started playing this game. "What's the crusty part of a pie?"
"Crust?"
"Right, and a person from Asia is called an…"
"…Asian?"
"Good. Now put those two together."
"A Crust Asian?"
"Exactly."
Seriously?
"Hold the fuck up!" Bella shouted. "Is that really what that card says? Who made that one?"
"Yes. It says 'Crust Asian' and underneath there's a picture of a crab."
"Oh, you mean crustacean?" Jasper concluded.
Emmett stared at him blankly for three seconds. "Yeah, man. Crust. Asian."
"Who the fuck made that card?" Bella's eyes darted around the room at each one of us.
"Somebody who was trying to be intricate but couldn't spell," Rosalie answered. "They were close, though. The words sound pretty much the same. It was nice of them to provide a figure," her words were kind and understanding.
Bella looked at us expectantly, waiting for someone to confess.
"Maybe it was you, B, since you're the one making a huge fuss over it. Also, I know you like to draw shit," Jacob broke the silence.
"Fuck you."
"Gladly. But since you seem to disapprove so damn much, we'll just go again," Jacob grabbed a new card. "Ready, Cullen? Rose—"
"Is gorgeous, perfect, sexy, great in bed, delicious, a great cook, all mine, the mother of my child, my wife, my best friend, the love of my life—"
"Yeah, you got it," Jacob lazily added a point to their score.
"Which one was it?" I asked, annoyed.
"He said 'all mine' and the word was 'mine,' see?" Jacob flashed everyone the card.
"That's where you're wrong. Rose is mine," Bella jumped into Rosalie's lap. "She was my best friend before Emmett's greedy, horny ass t—"
"No. No, fuck you! Fuck all of you! Rosie was mine before she even met either one of you!" I erupted. "Daddy hired her to be my babysitter since Bella thought she was too cool to spend a few hours with me after school until Mom came home. But that's okay because Rosie loved me and she would play with me for hours! I'd always look forward to naptime at school because I knew after I'd wake up I'd get to go home and play with my Rosie. And then suddenly Bella became all buddy-buddy with her and started hanging out with us and interfering with playtime. I was pissed! Pissed, I tell you! Bella was stealing my best friend from right under me. Next thing I know, Emmett's trying to shag her! My babysitter! Well, I didn't know shit about that back then but now I know you were totally trying to get in her pants!" I pointed childishly at Emmett.
"And succeeded…three years later," Emmett said with a sly smirk. Rosalie sighed.
"Obviously!"
"Alice, cool down. I was fourteen. What the hell was I supposed to do with a five-year-old all day?" Bella tried to reason.
"Don't even go there. Rosie was fourteen too, idiot. And it wasn't all day. It was like two or three hours every other day. I remember that shit."
"Okay, okay! Damn! I'm sorry! Alice I'm sorry for stealing your very first best friend. I'll admit that was very shady," Bella apologized sincerely.
"From a five-year-old! Your own baby sister! How do you sleep at night?" I carried on.
"And I'm sorry I nailed her and made her fall madly in love with—wait. No. No I'm not. Never mind," Emmett shook his head.
"I should be the one apologizing. I let them influence me. I let them tear me away from you," Rosalie added melodramatically.
"The trauma! I felt abandoned! I was abandoned! And then Daddy hired some old ass mean hag who didn't play with me while the three of you were off enjoying life like fourteen and fifteen-year-olds should!" A small tear escaped. Jasper hugged me. "Those were the best eight months of my young life, Rosie. You showed me true friendship. I'm not sure many kids experience that at such a tender age."
"Aww, baby!" Rosalie kicked Bella out of her lap and threw herself at me.
"The damage has been done. I've been scarred and traumatized for life. There's nothing you can say or do about it now," I pushed her away.
"I don't know, you seemed like a pretty jolly and giggly kid when I met you. Always making a game out of hiding my car keys so I couldn't leave. You'd climb on me a lot, too," Jacob pointed out.
"She had a crush on you," Bella revealed.
"Mind your business!" I snapped.
"What in the world is going on in here?" Grandma shuffled cautiously into the family room, holding a small bundled baby. "You kids keep that drama outside with the dogs! Not in my house!" She suddenly became harsh and severe.
"Yes ma'am," the six of us chorused.
"Here, Rose. She just woke up. I already changed her. I know she'll be hollering for the boobies any minute now," Grandma said gently.
Rosalie leaped to her feet and practically frolicked towards Grandma. During the slow and tender transfer of small baby from Grandma's arms to Rosalie's, the baby's hat fell off and all I saw was thick and lustrous black hair.
"Thanks, Gran," Rosalie gave her baby girl a huge kiss on the cheek as Grandma stepped back out.
"Aw, shit. Things aren't looking too good from here," I teased. "She's got Emmett's hair."
"Fuck you, my baby is gorgeous. Give her to Daddy."
"Alice hasn't met her yet," before I knew it, Rosalie was standing in front of me as she offered to hand over the baby. "Emily, this is your auntie Alice."
Oh, yeah. I forgot that was her name…even though the invitations to her baby shower in August said Emmett + Rosalie = Emily! How freaking cute.
"Hold her."
"Ah, that's okay. I can see her just fine from right here. I don't do babies," no thanks!
"Apparently you do, Alice," Bella burst out laughing.
Was that a crack at me dating a slightly younger man? If so, it was lame!
"Alice, hold your niece!" Rosalie demanded as she lowered the baby into my lap and took a few steps back.
"Uh," I wasn't really sure what to do. I put my hands at her sides so she wouldn't, like, roll over and fall down or something but other than that I was clueless. "Oh, wow. She has your blue eyes," it looked beautiful with her dark hair.
"Yeah, but she's still little. They might change color."
The baby was actually super cute. She was blessed with full lips and big pretty eyes and I kind of saw both Rosalie and Emmett in her tiny features. She was alert as hell and Jasper managed to make her smile a few times.
But then she started crying after a few minutes.
"Ah! Somebody take her!" I panicked.
"Relax," Rosalie tried not to laugh at me. "My baby's just a little hungry," she cooed as she lifted her out of my lap. "I know nobody wants to see me whipping out my boobs, so I'll excuse myself now," Rosalie ducked out of the family room.
"I do!" Emmett followed.
"I'm hungry as hell. Jas, aren't you hungry?" I remember we opted to sleep over eating breakfast this morning.
"Lunch is ready!" Grandma hollered.
"Perfect."
Daddy showed up just in time to join us for lunch and he absolutely fell in love with Jasper. So much in fact that half way through lunch they completely shut me out of their animated conversation about who the fuck knows what. It sounded like they were speaking Punjabi and making weird sound effects. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy to see them bonding so I let them go at it after I finished and went back to the family room. They didn't even notice I left.
Bella and Rosalie were the only ones in there partially watching Say Yes to the Dress on TLC but mostly talking. Bella was already playing Auntie Favorite as she cradled and rocked the baby in her arms. As soon as they saw me they stopped talking and stared. Rosalie provided a sweet smile and Bella flashed some kind of strange, perverted smirk. I rolled my eyes.
"Wow. If the fact that the both of you were just talking about me weren't any more obvious…" I took a seat next to Rosalie.
"We were talking about Jasper. We like him. He's so sweet," Rosalie started.
"Daddy seems to think so, too. He's hogging him up as we speak."
"They're still talking about oyombonguettes and qwofecktoniskibules?" Bella concocted.
"Precisely," I think she actually got one of those correct.
"He's so polite—" Rosalie continued to marvel.
"Which reminds me. I bet he's all foul-mouthed and resembles Donkey Kong in bed. I can totally see it. Do share," Bella gave me her undivided attention.
"Aha, yeah," yeah, right.
Well, maybe. I wouldn't know.
"I knew it! Come, baby. Tell your big sister all about it. Don't be shy."
"Since when has Alice ever been shy?"
"You're right, Rose. Seems like she would have called and told us about this a long time ago. Maybe her school gave her a few lessons on decency?" Bella suddenly gasped. "Come to think of it, Alice, you never shared anything like this with me! All those little boyfriends you had in high school that we helped keep a secret from Emmett. Don't hold out! I live vicariously through you guys!"
"For reasons I cannot even imagine," Rosalie muttered. "Maybe Alice doesn't want to share such personal information with us. I mean we are her sisters."
"Girl, please. This is Alice we're talking about. When she was eleven she blatantly told us how much she loved her pussy because it 'tickled really good' every time she touched it. Shit came out of nowhere! Then she asked us if it tickled when we touched ourselves."
"Oh my God I was so speechless."
"Shut up, you laughed your ass off. Oh, and that time her sophomore year when she told us, in explicit detail, about how she tried to fuck herself with a yellow zucchini but it was too fat so she threw it out the window and let her 'trusty' fingers do the job."
"I remember that, too."
"So go on," Bella poked me. "Feel free to include past encounters as well."
"If I had a damn story to tell…I would tell it!" I divulged.
They went silent and completely still.
"Aw," Rosalie barely whispered after seven long seconds. She was in awe. She caught the drift.
Bella, on the other hand…
"Does that mean he sucks? I don't want to hear that. It makes me nervous. He's too nice. Tell me something good, even if it's made up," her heel bounced anxiously against the floor.
Rosalie and I communicated with our eyes.
"It means she hasn't done anything before," Rosalie explained.
"Bullshit," Bella said bluntly.
"I've groped and been groped. That's it. But don't worry, I still masturbate all the time. Oh. Actually, yesterday I humped his face in my underwear and he grinded his dick on me," yum.
"Are—are you for real? Is he okay? Incompetent? Gay? Fucking stupid?"
"No," Rosalie delivered a swift smack to the back of Bella's head.
"Please don't tell me his dick is dysfunctional. I'd much rather him be gay or fucking st—" a firmer slap cut Bella's words short.
"I can tell he really loves you, Al," Rosalie said kindly.
"If he loves her he'd have made her purr and meow a long time ago!"
"Shut. Up. Seriously, this is really cute."
"Okay fine! It is fucking enormously cute. I'm just shocked, is all. Thought Alice lost it two years ago to that horny ass James kid."
"Yeah, you know…I almost went there. But then the sick motherfucker told me he was a vampire and bit my neck. There I was, all wet and ready for him and this bitch tries to suck my blood. Sure as hell didn't see that one coming," I shivered and shook my head in an attempt to dislodge that disastrous memory.
"Holy fuck! How come you never told us? I would have whooped his ass!" Bella yelled. Her face was bright red.
"One of the very few things that have honestly embarrassed me. I couldn't talk about it. I still feel awkward."
"Bella, put my baby down. She's spoiled enough as it is," Rosalie abruptly changed the subject. I was grateful.
"Never! I'll never let go. She's so warm and cuddly and soft."
"Well in less than seven months you'll have your own cuddly baby to hog up and spoil as you please."
"What's with you people having all of these babies now?" I joked. "Congrats to you, big sis."
"Yeah, I'm just so glad I could share the news with you," Bella directed her sarcastic words at Rosalie.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was only returning the favor."
"That boyfriend of yours? I like him," Daddy fussed the second he poked his head through the door.
"That's great, Daddy," the warms and fuzzies came back. "Mind giving him back now?" I asked politely.
"Sorry, pumpkin, but the boys took him."
"The boys? As in Emmett and Jacob?"
"Took him where?" Rosalie sounded a bit worried.
"Basement."
The three of us stared at each other wordlessly and collectively jolted to our feet. I was the first to sprint past Daddy when I heard Bella firmly say, "Dad, take the baby," along with swift footsteps following closely behind me. I heard Daddy's voice, but I was already on my way down the stairs to make out what he was saying. Less than half a second later, the three of us were barging through the basement.
"Leave him alone!" I yelled before my eyes, ears, nose, etc. could process anything.
"Emmett! Put him down!" Rosalie ordered severely.
"Man, these little boys are something special," Bella mumbled.
I blinked repeatedly, trying to take in the sight before me. Emmett was lying flat on his back on his old weight bench and Jacob was egging him on as he bench pressed my boyfriend.
"What? We're bonding!" Emmett huffed as he almost effortlessly pushed all 175 pounds of Jasper's weight above him. "Thirty-seven!"
"And I'm next," Jacob informed.
"My boyfriend is not a fucking play thing!" Poor baby must be traumatized!
"It's okay, Alice. It's fun. How many people get to say they've been bench pressed by Emmett Cullen and Jacob Black?" Jasper kept still. He actually looked like he was enjoying himself.
No matter how mature and refined Jasper seems to be, he's still a boy. And boys, well, will be boys.
"Thirty-eight!" Emmett counted as he once again lifted Jasper with no problem.
"Sixty-two to go," Jacob said.
"Will they ever grow up?" Rosalie asked Bella.
"No," Bella confirmed.
The girls and I eventually sat down and watched the live entertainment before us. Emmett made it to 100 and Jasper was handed over to Jacob, who also successfully bench-pressed him 100 times. Then the giants proceeded to show off some more by doing push-ups, planks, sit-ups and other shit. Jasper joined them and I found myself wanting to dip my hand in my panties at how fucking sexy he was.
After a while we all settled back into the family room and played wacky horror movies. Well, I'm only guessing they were wacky because I dozed off before the beginning credits even started.
I woke up to my mom and grandma gushing over how cute Jasper was. They were both talking to me at once and when it was all over I still had no idea what it was that they were going crazy about. All I knew was that everyone was gone and I had no idea what time it was.
Turns out it was dinnertime.
Again, Daddy and Jasper delved into deep conversation in a secret or foreign language about…yoggendurkfots? I don't know. I stopped trying to understand after the first twenty or so seconds. Emmett and Jacob managed to keep me absorbed with raunchy locker room stories about their teammates getting caught in compromising positions.
The girls and I helped Mom and Grandma clean up and by the time we finished we discovered someone had located and unearthed all seven of our massive family photo albums. Emmett and Jacob were hooting and hollering over those goddamn things. Everyone ended up sharing and rotating albums for the remainder of the evening. We had some good laughs over the 'awkward years' photos and I went into another playful rant about Rosalie abandoning me when we came across photos that reflected happy times between us.
When all albums had been thoroughly scrutinized, people started yawning and drifting away to their bedrooms in pairs. It was only a little past nine o' clock but it had been a long day for all of us. Everybody had fallen so in love with Jasper that I didn't even get any shit when I took him to my bedroom. Emmett even casually said 'goodnight' to us as he passed by.
Splendid.
Jasper and I took turns in the shower and we hopped and snuggled into my warm and comfortable bed.
"Your family is great. I'm glad I came."
"And they're fucking…ecstatic to have you here. What the hell did you do to dazzle my grandma and my mom?"
"Not sure. I was wondering that too, though."
"It's probably just you."
"I still can't believe you never told me your brothers play for the Chicago Bears."
"I know. That was so naughty of me," I rolled on top of him. "You should do something about it."
"Nah, I understand you were probably just protecting their privacy or something."
I frowned.
"You're really not into this dirty talk, are you?"
Crooked, devious smirk.
"I was teasing. I wanted to hear what you would say," he skimmed my sides on his way down to the small of my back.
"Jas."
"Al," he arched an eyebrow.
My salacious gaze into his green eyes shifted down to his beautifully smooth and perfectly plump lips. I wanted to request that he do some nasty things to me with those lips but once I opened my mouth, the capacity to verbalize my thoughts subsisted no more.
Shit.
Instead I offered a kiss, hard and slow—and strikingly subtle considering the shit I truly wanted to do to him. I mentally congratulated myself as I pulled away for managing to not shove my eager tongue down his throat.
"You're gorgeous," he crooned.
Okay, fuck being subtle.
The next kiss was stronger, deeper, and included lots of tongue. His mouth tasted refreshingly minty and succulently sweet, inducing instant wet panties. I pushed his white shirt up to his armpits and our lips disconnected for a fleeting second to grant me just enough space to pull it over his head. I pinched and scratched his scrumptious little light brown nipples when, with overpowering bravado, he jerked me back down on top of him. Instant extra wet panties.
As we shared more open-mouthed and sloppy kisses Jasper's hands moved up along my sides, taking my shirt up with him. Suddenly he flipped us over and I breathed out a few curse words when he pressed his hard dick between my legs.
Just as he reached for my shirt again we heard and felt a pounding from the next room.
"Oh my GOD, Jacob! I wanna have your baby!" Bella moaned.
"Ah—"
I assaulted Jasper's lips again before he could say anything else. If Bella's horny and loud ass ruins this for me I am not against busting in there and slapping her. Thankfully, though, Jasper seemed to forget about whatever he was about to say since his hands went back to work on my shirt. His mouth was also working something fierce on my neck. I had no idea what he was doing but it had me losing my breath and hoping he'd never stop. My legs even tried to reach towards opposite sides of the bed when he started humping me. He is sexy when he's being sexy! And these fucking clothes need to go! If his wandering thumbs were making my pert nipples happy over my shirt then—
BANG!
"AHH! Baby I love it when you fuck me like this! RAWR and MEOW!"
All licking, sucking, humping, and touching came to a stop.
I was prepared to swing my fist at the wall and tell Bella to shut the fuck up but Jasper grabbed my arm, halting my progress.
"Maybe this isn't a—"
"Come with me," I took his hand and hauled him out of the bed.
"Alice where are we going?"
I didn't say a word as I hurled open the door and strutted out of the room. I tramped across and down the hall to the secluded guest bedroom, almost slamming the door shut behind us but I decided that gesture would probably attract unwanted visitors.
Before taking another step into the room I yanked my stupid ass shirt off, along with my pajama pants and my soaked underwear. I chose not to bother with the fuzzy Hello Kitty socks. They were pink and cute. And warm.
Jasper stood still, smitten and wordless so I took the liberty of pulling down the rest of his clothes myself.
Holy shit that is a big dick.
Jasper still wasn't moving so I brought him down to the floor with a solid bump. I don't have time for this. He landed with a thud and a low grunt that knocked him back to life. His alert gaze flickered into focus and he was about ready to say something but my lips thwarted his speech once again. It took him zero time to get back into the flow we had back in my room as his hands explored me aggressively, taking a predatory hold of my waist, hips, ass cheeks, and whatever else that fell in his path.
He took the backs of my thighs and guided them around his hips, spreading me open and positioning me right over his dick. At the same time, our hands reached down to simply touch each other and offer extra support and pressure as I glided up and down, daubing his cock with the slick juices that were seeping nonstop out of my pussy. As I bobbed against him my budding nipples grazed the smooth skin of his defined and chiseled chest, which, combined with the gratifying friction between our legs, elicited low moans from the both of us.
Finally he drew me up higher, just enough so that the head of his dick met my entrance. Jasper supported his cock horizontally as I gradually moved back down, my chest sliding against his, and allowed his considerable length to ease into me. We both sighed as he filled me up and my walls began to contract involuntarily around his cock, eagerly inviting him in even deeper on their own accord.
Side note—major thanks to the scientists that produced the hormonal birth control I take every day. So that no babies get made and shit. Because that would suck.
Suddenly Jasper sat up and edged back against the wall so that I was straddling his lap. He pushed me back just enough to run his wet and warm tongue slowly over my nipples. I arched forward, jutting my chest closer to his face while he moved on to flicking and sucking.
"Yess," I clutched his shoulders and helplessly grinded my hips.
Slowly he brought me closer again, taking the opportunity to lick my neck on his way up. His fingers curled under my ass to help steer me up and down on his lap. I drew in a shallow breath and cupped Jasper's cheeks as we worked together to find a steady rhythm. There was an absence of any stereotypical 'first time' pain, much thanks to my tremendously abundant and slick arousal. All I felt was absolute pleasure and already it was rapidly building up towards a monumental climax.
"Holy shit-fuck," I panted. "I love your dick so much."
"I love you."
I wanted to say those words back to him, but something was coming. Something big. It fucked with my ability to think and speak within reason. I heard myself gasping and cursing and saying random incoherent shit. Priority mail, throat lozenges, fescue, mosquito, applesauce. I was also squeezing something and riding the fuck out of Jasper's dick. He stopped trying to help because he was no longer able to keep up.
"Shit. Jasper. I love you too," I managed to breathe out just a split second before a blast of heat erupted out of me, showering Jasper's dick and lap and inciting my g-spot, clit-spot, whatever-the-fuck-spot with potent intensity.
I'm about 100% confident I've never came this hard before.
To keep my potentially loud moans from disturbing the entire house I bit down on the flesh of Jasper's neck, being careful not to dig in too deep. He reacted with a soft groan and a tighter grip around my ass. His fingers prodding into my flesh could have possibly been a little painful if other powerful and delightful shit weren't dominating all of my senses.
Towards the end of my orgasm I felt another hot gust shooting though me but this time it was moving in the opposite direction.
"Shit, sorry," Jasper mumbled apologetically.
"Who? Did you just apologize for coming, Jasper?" Locks of my hair stuck to the clammy skin on my forehead as I tried to sweep them out of my way.
"It—I didn't mean to do it inside—"
"That needs to not happen ever again. The apologizing, I mean. I rained all over you, for fuck's sake. I don't care where your spunk ends up," hint, hint. "At least we don't have to clean up after you—today," hint!
"I loved the rain. I was hoping I'd last a little longer but that was what set me off. But man, you bit me pretty hard," he chuckled as he rubbed the light bite marks indenting his neck. "Thought you had turned into a vampire for a sec."
Oh don't remind me of that shit!
"I was only showing you how hard you made me come."
"That was exhilarating. Sexiest thing I've ever seen."
Exhilarating. What a nerd. Sexy nerd.
"Well, Jasper, you can watch me come whenever the fuck you feel like it. Feel free to come with me."
"I might have to take you up on that offer," smirking, he pulled me in for a kiss. "On another note, you managed not to break the tradition."
I gasped out loud.
"Holy shit! I wasn't even thinking about that when we came in here…but you were right all along. I made it up."
"I knew it."
Before we put our clothes back on, Jasper pushed me down on the floor and dipped his face between my legs. Boy, was that a fucking pleasant ass surprise! I came so fast it almost pissed me off because I felt like he wasn't down there long enough. I didn't want it to be over yet but he continued to lick me until I came again. I wanted to reciprocate but he suggested we get some rest and wait until next time. I pouted a bit, but then I began to realize just how exhausted I was—and just how right he was.
As always.
Clothed and on our way out the door I about screamed when we ran into Bella standing just two feet away. She was flashing a brilliant, toothy grin.
"Nice happy trail, Jasper," she eyed the strip of hair lining his lower abdomen, starting at his belly button and disappearing into the waistband of his pajamas.
"Thanks."
"So, I came out to pee and couldn't help but notice your bedroom door was open, Alice," Bella's words were theatrically inquisitive. "The light was on, too, so I thought I'd pop by and say hello but, alas, you weren't there."
"Yeah my next door neighbors were having a nice and loud bang-fuck session," I explained.
"Is that right?"
"That is right."
"So then I was like, 'where oh where could my baby sister be?' I was so worried, Alice. I just had to go looking for you."
"Ah, well, here I am. Safe and sound and ready to go to bed," her ass can wait until tomorrow!
"I came to this door, ready to open it but then I heard you telling Jasper you loved his dick? And something about grass and next-day air? Or maybe it was priority mail? I don't know. I thought about coming in, but I didn't want to impose because it sounded serious. I also hadn't gone to pee yet and I was a little hungry. So I went pee-pee and got me a little snacky-snack. Went back to the room and tucked my big boy in the bed. Read a short article about constipation during the first trimester of pregnancy. Then I read another article about orgasms and—and for some odd reason I thought about you. So I came back out. And so did you guys."
"Wow, thanks so much for the late night story. Goodnight," I tried to escape, but she stepped in my way.
"So you love Jasper's dick?"
Jasper chuckled at this.
"Yes. I do. Very much. Night!"
"Let us bond over some delicious hot chocolate, shall we? I'll even add in some fluffy marshmallows!" Bella snatched my hand. "Care to join us, Jasper?"
"Ah, no thanks. I think I'll just check in. You ladies have fun," he kissed my forehead. "Goodnight."
"Sweet dreams, darling," Bella whispered tenderly and began to lug me towards the stairs.
Thank yous!