Title: Salt on the Wounds
Author: bubbles799
Show: Packed to the Rafters
Characters: Ben/Melissa, with strong inclusion of other characters.
Summary: You can make plans, but no matter how much planning you undertake, sometimes you just can't help the ultimate pain of having your heart ripped out when you least expect it.
Disclaimer: If I owned PTTR, Melissa would NOT have died last night.
Words can't even begin to describe how brilliant, moving and heartbreaking last night's episode was. Anyway, I watched Rafters and then had to head almost immediately to the airport. Whilst waiting for my flight, I kept thinking about it, and then on the plane, I sat down and wrote this because of my thoughts. I hope you like it.
The moment he had answered the door, a rose in his mouth, to find Nathan, his eyes red and wet with tears, Ben Rafter had discovered how life could change in an instant. As Nathan told him and confirmed fears, Ben hadn't known how to react. How could one react when the love of your life had just been snatched away.
Nathan had driven him from the hotel to the hospital, and still it hadn't quite hit. Ben didn't know how to feel. Coming out of the lift, he saw his family standing and waiting; both his parents, Rachel and Carbo. It all felt so surreal, and he wasn't sure whether it was just denial kicking in.
But as his father had guided him into the room, an orderly just behind them, and as said orderly had pulled back the white sheet to reveal her, it had hit. It hit as he saw the colourless face of his wife staring back at him. They'd barely achieved their first year of marriage and they hadn't had their chance to watch their children grow, yet here was Melissa, the love of his life, lying cold on a slab before his eyes.
Standing beside his eldest son, his second born, Dave could help but draw back as the sheet was pulled back, the image in front of him horrifying. Melissa, so young with so much ahead of her, yet taken so soon. He leant on his son's shoulder, a support to both father and son.
Outside the morgue, Julie's heart broke as she watched her son identify the body on the table as his wife, crumbling himself with pain. Nathan's arm was around his mother, giving her a small amount of comfort. Nathan himself couldn't make sense of what had happened, his brother losing the only ever true love of his life.
A step away, Carbo was comforting Rachel, who was a sobbing mess at hearing the news and upon seeing her sister-in-law through the glass. Carbo was being the strong one, supporting Rachel up and giving the Rafter's some form of relief through what was a tunnel of darkness.
Ben can't remember how he made it back out of the glassed room and out of the hospital all together. He can't even remember who it was that drove him home. But that night, Dave had driven both his wife and his son back to the Rafter house, avoiding the large house next door which they knew would be filled with emptiness for Ben. Nathan had driven Carbo and Rachel home, pulling his car to a stop on the street edge. Everyone moved silently inside the Rafter house, not that Ben could even remember getting out of the car.
There was a line formed as they walked single file into the house. Dave, Julie, Ben, Nathan, Rachel and Carbo. Standing in the kitchen, with Ruby in her tiny chair, oblivious to the devastation surrounding her, stood Ted, Jake and Loretta, all watching as the others arrived back home, their faces solemn.
No one said or did anything for a brief moment in time, everyone coming to a stop. Eventually, Ted's face broke and Julie stepped forward to hug her father. Carbo stepped towards Loretta, who put her arms gently around him. Rachel didn't seem to be able to move herself, unable to stop watching her brother who was standing, his face expressionless. Jake took it upon himself to move towards her, wrapping her in a hug before she could say anything.
And somewhere in all that confusion, Ben had made it to the couch later that evening. He hadn't said a word to anyone since they had arrived home. The family, unsure as to what to say or do, had given him space. Jake and Rachel had moved away to her bedroom, Julie was attending to Ruby with Ted and Loretta had made herself scarce, presumably to next door.
On the couch, Ben sat, completely still as Carbo sat on his right and Nathan on his left. Dave was seated on the coffee table, as the boys banded together silently. Words were left unsaid, as they simply weren't required. That was a silent agreement.
/
Time passed in a blur as life began to seemingly start to function again. Ben had apparently gone into shut down, his brain not allowing him to think clearly.
Even at the funeral, he'd barely brought himself to say a lot, not even being able to bring himself to say goodbye at first. He'd seen Melissa's parents, Pat and Linda, who had come and despite them wanting to talk with him, Ben hadn't been able to formulate the words.
Ben was waiting for it to stop hurting, but the more he wished it would, the more it hurt. They say it takes time for the pain to heal or subside, but eventually it would and you could think about your loved one and smile. For a time there, a long time, Ben had wondered if he'd ever reach that point.
Taking himself back to the Karadonis House, the house he had shared with Carbo and Melissa, and later Nathan, felt alien to him. The thought of being there without her hadn't gone down well, and Ben had found himself wedged back in at the Rafter's house again, until he felt strong enough to return next door, if that were to ever happen.
Nearly a month to the day after Ben Rafter tragically lost his beloved wife in a car accident, Ben had returned to work. He'd been given as much time off as he needed, but by this point, he wanted it to distract himself. With their manager taking sudden leave, the staff were well aware of the circumstances and were treading carefully, careful not to break the man. Ben was aware of this, and was partially grateful for not having to confront many people.
/
It was back in the park, the very same park where they had officially become a couple for the first time, that Ben had made his first proper step towards moving on. Walking absentmindedly along the pathway, Ben had looked up and surprised himself at where he was, before thinking back to kissing Melissa on the ground as their first official kiss. And he smiled. It was a long time in the making, but Ben had reached the point where he could think about Melissa and smile, and not cry.
/
There was never going to be a way for him to completely forget Melissa, Ben knew that. He didn't want to forget her. His only ever love, Ben would never want to forget something so special, despite the short time they'd been together. But Ben was beginning to be able to move forward in his life again.
There were times that it hit him hardest that she really was gone and was never coming back. Ruby's second birthday was a big one. Her first, he and many others of the family, had been marred by the thoughts of the loss they had just endured. But her second birthday, they had the chance to celebrate and enjoy the little life of baby Ruby, not that she was such a baby anymore.
Watching Nathan ride the ups and downs of getting back on the horse, the relationship horse that was. Having someone to share the highs and lows of life with. Nathan didn't flaunt it; he knew how it would feel for Ben, the pain of being widowed. And it didn't matter how happy Ben was for his brother, it was painful to think he was missing that chunk of himself.
When Jake and Rachel made their way to the altar. Ben watched his sister say 'I Do' with the love of her life and couldn't help but feel that pang at the back of his throat. Only a few short years ago had he been in the same position, marrying the woman he loved. And when Rachel gave birth to their first child a year later, a baby girl who they had named Sienna, an old wound had flared for Ben. Once, he had had plans and visions of this being him, cradling a newborn in his arms that would one day call him Daddy. Yet he would never get to see his and Melissa's children grow up.
There would always be times where it felt as though salt had been added to the wounds. But there was also the times to smile. And as Ben Rafter moved on, he was certain of one thing; no matter what happened or went down in the future, Melissa Bannon would always be his first love. And that no matter where life would lead him, she would always be there with him, every step of the way.
Still devastated at last night's episode. And I can see a whole lot more pain headed the Rafter's way in next week's episode.
Anyway, just wanted to get this down. Would love a read and review from you guys. Let me know your thoughts on this, and the episode!