The Twilight Twenty-Five
Prompt #:1
Title: Everything
Pen name: burdenedthunder
Bella
Rating: T
Photos for prompts can be found here:
community[dot]livejournal[dot]com/thetwilight25/13912[dot]html
I haven't moved from this bed for hours, watching the sands in this antique hour glass slowly cascade, filling the cylinder below. I am numb, lifeless. The empty hole lies where my heart use to be. It was ripped from my body by the only person I ever gave it to. It seemed such a small gift to give at the time. Now I wish I hadn't. A sorrowful ache pulls from my arms to the middle of my gut, a throbbing burn I can't escape.
They say no one can die from a broken heart, but that is exactly what I wish for now. I know in my young mind that this experience will forever jade whatever relationship that I would have in the future. I don't want to go through the motions, and torture someone just like I am being tormented now.
I glance at the small vile of pills lying next to the hour glass. It would be so easy, like taking a vitamin. I would slip off into a deep sleep, no mess to pick up, other than my lifeless body.
I am sorry Dad. I had to do this to you. It's not about a lost love or feeling sorry for one's self. I just can't bare living in a world knowing that I have taken the life of someone I loved. Stick with Sue. She loves you more than she lets on. Let her in.
I wish I was a better daughter. Leaving you this way isn't an easy decision. I want you to remember me not as the broken thing I am now, but the happy, vibrant child I was.
I love you. I'll miss you and will look in on you from time to time.
Bella
Sealing the letter in an envelope, I roll off the bed, heading down stairs. I place the letter on the kitchen table with the hour glass on top. Nodding once, I solidify the decision in my head before walking over to the cabinet and taking a glass out, filling it with the bourbon that Charlie keeps under the sink.
Sitting on my bed, my half glass of bourbon and small white pills piled in my hand, the expectation of the coming relief relaxes my body. Finally after months of anguish, it will be gone. That fateful night; the screaming tires, broken glass, the grotesque gurgle that he emitted as he tried to speak.
I cradled his head in my lap."Edward I am so sorry, I didn't see..." I sobbed rocking back and forth. He extended his hand, brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. He tried to shush me but it came out a rasping gurgle. It was then, that his eyes glazed over as the light of his life left.
"Edward, NO." I wailed, my voice echoing off the trees.
"Edward, I love you." I whispered before shoving the pills in my mouth and washing them down with what was left of the bourbon. Letting out a sigh of relief I placed the glass beside the bed and curled up under the blankets.
Closing my eyes, I clutch his old shirt under my nose, desperately looking for faded scent in the fabric. After a few moments of painful reminiscence, a myriad of colors crept into my conscientiousness, splashing and swirling behind my lids. Bright blues turn to the sky with white, fluffy, cotton ball, clouds. Iridescent greens, purples, and pinks took form as grass and perfectly bloomed flowers. Slowly the form of a Greek god himself reclining in the meadow came into focus. I was back in the meadow, our meadow. The very day that he confessed to me how he felt. The same day that I became a woman, his woman.
We moved together, whispering endearments. We were perfectly in sync, he breathed out, I breathed in. Wrapping myself around him I was lost—lost in the sensation of complete and utter love. It swam around us, spiraling as we both plummeted into oblivion. It could have been hours or minutes, it didn't matter. All that mattered was the man that lay beside me getting slightly sunburned.
Images blur again, swirling into a vortex of white mist. Bright warming light surrounds me, blinding me. I feel the increasing pull towards something familiar.
In the distance a shimmer of light slowly moves toward me gracefully taking form as it approaches, until the jade green eyes and bright copper hair stand before me. He wears a pale white suit that gives his face a golden hue. His cheeks are flushed a slight shade of pink. His hair still looks as if he just ran his hand through it. He is the image of perfection; his face solemnly looking upon me with regret.
"Oh, Bella," his voice wavers "What did you do?"
I fall to my knees, prostrate before him, begging his forgiveness. I am sorry I didn't control the car. I'm sorry I didn't keep him safe. "Edward, I'm..." even in death I can't bring myself to ask for him to forgive me. This angel, this god, I can't ask him for such things when I can't ask them of myself.
"My beautiful Bella," he murmurs reaching down, his long index finger curling under my chin tilting my head up. "I will and have always loved you. There is nothing that you need to ask of me." His velvet voice washes over me. Admiration for this man is all that I feel; to forgive me without explanation. "You shouldn't have followed me, Love."
"I can't be without you. Half of me went with you; it was the best part of me," I whimpered.
He stretches out his arm, picking me up and folding his arms around me. I am home, the ache receding. The gaping hole that was in my chest seals itself by one loving embrace. He moves his hands down to mine, stepping to the side, leading me to a place where I find peace, again.