Push, pull. A calming and eternal cycle orchestrated in the dance between the moon and ocean. He always found it reassuring, even more so now that he knew Yue, one he loved so dearly, was one of the spirits that caused this phenomenon. Sokka watched the tides go through this dance alone. It had been nearly a year since the great siege which had awakened the Northern Water Tribe to the ever-growing threat of the Fire Nation and taken their princess, his princess, away from them to fill the place of the former Moon Spirit, and not a day went by when his mind and heart ached to be with her again.

On nights like this, when the sky was clear and the moon full, he couldn't sleep the dull ache of the loss of his beloved too much for him to bear. Katara and occasionally even Aang usually stayed up with him on nights like these, though for entirely different reasons. The moon was the source of power for all water benders, and the full moon brought to water benders great and untold powers.

Tonight, though, those two had gone to sleep early. Not even the full moon could invigorate the two after the tiring battle the four of them had undergone against their unknown and dangerous assailant, and once again, Sokka was thrown to the side as Katara, Aang and Toph battled the warrior who could summon flame from his mind.

He'd stopped bringing up his feelings of inadequacy to the others after he'd trained with Master Pian Dao, mainly because of the sense of accomplishment he'd had by gaining the respect of the master swordsman, but also because it seemed that the others still seemed to push him to the side during battles. He'd tried convincing Aang, and at one point even Katara to train with him so that he could have a practical spar to sharpen his skills, but the two quickly became bored with it or forgot about it, because whenever he bugged them, they'd always resort to teaching Aang more bending.

Stupid Katara and stupid Toph and stupid Aang and their stupid bending. He sighed and leaned back from his sitting position to look at the silvery glow of the moon. He kicked his foot, sending a small cloud of sand up into the air. "What's so great about bending anyways?" He stood up and kicked some more sand into the air. "Oh no, watch out for the magic puff! It's gonna kill you!" He grumbled to himself as he dropped back to the sands of the beach. "Bending. All it is glorified moving."

"Why couldn't I have been the bender?" he said to no one. "How come Katara couldn't be the meat and boomerang person, although I'm not complaining about that too much. I love meat and I love boomerang. I just…guh, I don't know, want to know what it's like to be in the spot light for once, to get some sort of recognition for who I am or what I do."

He stood up then, looking at the moon one last time before returning to bed, depressed.

------

"It's disgusting out there, isn't it?" Mai asked serenely as she wrapped her arms around Zuko's neck. The two stood on an open catwalk inside the great palace halls of the Fire Nation. The boy himself was leaning against the railing slightly, overlooking the vast expanse of his palace and the surrounding capital city. Flickering torch lights blotted the dark city beneath them, and flame-lined streets created snakes of trails throughout the city, ending at its walls. Shouts from marching sentries could be heard in the distance, a welcome sound in the monotony that is palace life.

"What is?" he asked the girl softly as he placed a hand on hers.

"Everything," she told him as she planted a kiss on his cheek. "It's so sweet and picturesque. I can't stand it." Zuko turned a little to her and frowned.

"I think it's beautiful, actually," he told her truthfully. She giggled and rubbed his shoulder.

"You can't be serious," she said in a light tone. "It's so quaint. Like they don't even know what's going on outside of those walls."

"That's probably because they don't," he muttered to himself. He felt Mai tense behind him and release him from her hold.

"What's wrong, Zuko?" she asked the young man as she moved to stand next to him. "You haven't been yourself lately."

"Myself?" he asked softly. "I don't even know who that is anymore."

Mai sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"So much has happened," he told her. "We've conquered the Earth Kingdom, and we're about to mount an attack against the Northern Water Tribe and eradicate what's left of the Southern Tribe. Not to mention my father acts as if I was never banished, my sister has given me more respect than she ever has in my life, and Uncle Iroh is wasting away in a prison somewhere. I was running for my life from you and Azula three months ago, and was about to become allies with the Avatar. This life change is so sudden. I think you'd be a bit overwhelmed as well."

Mai looked at him with a small look of understanding before moving her hand to his face. "I see," she said simply. "Well, I know who you are." He looked at her suspiciously. "You're Zuko, Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, and son of Fire Lord Ozai. You're loved by your people, and the man who stopped the threat of the Avatar, Aang. You're a brilliant person, and my boyfriend."

He smiled a bit and wrapped the young girl in an embrace. "Thanks, Mai," he whispered softly."

"No problem, Zuko," she returned.

-----

Her words didn't comfort him. Long after the girl returned to her home near the palace, Zuko lay awake, thinking of all the things that had transpired, unable to shake the words his uncle had given him when he'd visited him last, of his lineage to Avatar Roku, and the final choice he had to make, to stay with his father and throw the world out of balance, or help bring the end of a tyrant. He made no illusions of that. He and Iroh had come to many an oppressed people while in hiding from his sister. He knew what the Dai Li had done to the people of Ba Sing Se after Azula had overthrown the Earth Kingdom.

If his father was a tyrant, why was this decision so hard to make?

His mind returned to the time he helped the Avatar against the Dai Li underneath Lake Laogai. After the fight, he'd been rendered helplessly sick until he'd made the all-encompassing choice to shirk off his never-ending quest to capture the Avatar, only to be seduced by his sister's words, betraying not only Iroh, the Avatar, and his friends, but himself. Since then, the boy had been more lost and confused than he'd ever been in exile.

He sighed to himself as he returned to his bed, depressed.