A/N- Okay, this is kind of a strange story and style for me, but I thought I'd just put this one out there. It's an Edward-centric view of Bella and Jacob and why those two belong together. I almost labeled this story a cross-over with Peter Pan, but it's really not a cross-over since it doesn't actually have any Peter Pan characters or places in it, just themes and ideas. Oh, and I don't own Twilight or Peter Pan, just so you know that about me.
Edward Cullen had once seen a live performance of Peter Pan, and it had sickened him. The child's arrogance was immediate and obvious, and it made the vampire squirm in his seat. As the play progressed, Edward had to sit among the pleasure and delight of the crowd as they observed Peter's games and wild antics, but he was unable to join in the fun.
Edward hated it. Peter Pan was a horrible child; he was selfish, jealous, demanding, and overbearing. He existed only for himself, and therefore he had nothing. His single true friend, Tinker Bell, loved him because they were the same: they were unable to feel more than one magnificent emotion at a time. This singularity ruled them, they lived by it. They amused themselves with games – magnificent, horrible games which often injured those around them, but they played anyways because no happiness mattered except for their own.
A year latter, Edward met Jane. He saw Peter Pan in her smile. When the vampire's limbs were ripped from his torso, she flashed the same crooked grin as Peter when he remembered what a great, fun adventure it was to cut off a man's hand and feed it to an alligator.
Edward met many Peters. He saw Peter in this one when she tilted her chin just so while describing how easy the kill was, how effortless. He saw Peter in the other when he mocked the dazzled human for its age and stupidity. He saw Peter when they succumbed to the blood lust, the overwhelming singularity which they lived by.
He saw Peter in the mirror.
Edward remained just as unchanging as that stupid little boy. He didn't grow a day older, an inch taller. His imperiousness to harm or injury made Edward arrogant and overconfident. He had that high tilt to his chin because he knew he could do anything he wanted without any sort of repercussions. Edward found himself playing games – stupid, childish games which could easily hurt people. But what did Edward care? He would live for eternity without aging or changing, and those people would only live for a couple of short decades. After an easy century, no one in the world would know of whatever wrongs Edward had committed.
Edward hated Peter Pan because he understood the boy. He understood the games, the self-assured stupidity, the very wildness which surrounded the child's lifestyle. And he understood why Peter didn't want to grow up. Living forever was easy. It was easier than finding a way to die. After all, to die would require something great from life, some sort of purpose which people would remember. Once dead it was difficult to remind people that you once existed.
Of course, Edward was very bitter towards Peter Pan because he chose not to grow old. Peter chose to live that miserable, simple existence where all he had for company was a single emotion and his games.
Edward wanted a Tinker Bell. He wanted a pretty, tiny little emotion which could buzz around his head and whisper in his ear. That's why the arrival of his very own Bella sent him over the edge. Edward never knew that the tiny emotion could be so big, so overpowering. He threw himself at it, fell into it, and got lost in oblivion. He knew where the star was, and he could reach it.
Then, one day, Edward looked in the mirror and he no longer saw Peter in the tilt of his chin or the edge of his lips. He saw that he was Peter. He lived in a tree outside a girl's window and flew into her room at night. He took her away from reality to a world of monsters and magic. He was ruled by the light kiss hiding in the corner of her mouth.
Edward was selfish. He was selfish, jealous, demanding and overbearing. He played games with his Bell without considering the consequences, and those games were hurting his family, the people who cared about him.
And the games were hurting Bell.
Bella Swan wasn't like Wendy Darling. Bella was falling into Edward's games, falling into the promise to be together and always have fun. He kept Bella cupped within his hands as if she were the brightest of fireflies, and because of his tight grip her light was going out. Slowly, she was becoming another Peter. No, she was slowly becoming the Peter. Bella had the choice: she could grow old, she could become something. But instead of choosing to truly live, she wanted to stay young and play games with Edward.
When Edward ran, he flew. He flew as far away from Bell as he could. Yet still, she called to him. Edward knew where the star was – he could reach it, touch it, tough her. And when he touched her, he would again have that emotion, the overwhelming singularity which ruled his life.
When he returned, Edward looked into Bell's window and found a Bells instead. She was grown. She was married. She had her own beautiful bronze skinned daughter named Elle and three rowdy, arrogant boys. They each had big, crooked smiles like their father, who hadn't aged a day since Edward had last seen him.
It infuriated Edward to see an unchanged Jacob Black. For a moment, just a moment, Edward hated him for it, for staying with Bella and letting her age happily while he did not. But then, Edward saw his own reflection in the window.
He had been living in jungles and forests for the past years, trying to enjoy the distractions of nature. In those years, his face had become dirty, his hazel eyes bright, and his copper hair had gone wild and remained untamed. And of course, there was a childish pout in his bottom lip at having lost something fun and amazing. Edward had stopped aging at seventeen, but in that moment he looked no older than fourteen or fifteen.
He was just a child playing in the woods, playing games while he waited for time to pass.
When he looked back to Jacob Black, he could see that the man had changed. His boyish smile had turned roguish and handsome and his eyes were deep with wisdom. He handled his children with rough love, like a man. And his love with Bella was old and mature. They touched each other with well practiced gestures, and the kiss in the corner of Bella's lips was worn and prettily used.
Edward wandered back into the wilderness, back to his games. His star was out of reach. He had already been cut off from Bella's overpowering emotion for a long time. He had vague memories of his happiness with her, but he now recognized that the memories had become diluted and faded, and he was only chasing after the shadows of their past. As he ran, he flew, and as he considered the situation, he became certain and confident that with time, he would forget the emotion and forget his Bell. His confidence came from his unwavering certainty that the process had begun years ago, and he still had the rest of forever.
Annoying Note- Yeah, so I guess that's why I really think Bella shouldn't be with Edward. I mean, he may have had a century to go to school and learn facts, but he seriously stopped developing as a seventeen-year-old, and if any of you knew the same seventeen-year-old boys that I did, you'd know that they do NOT settle down and have kids. Or at least, they don't settle down (I DID go to a school with a high teen-pregnancy rate, after all). Also, this may be really hard to believe from all of the Peter bashing I do in this story, but I absolutely LOVE Peter Pan. It's an amazing story and he's an amazing character.
So yeah, I posted this pretty much after writing it, and I'm afraid it's a little choppy. It looks really weird whenever I read it, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I just somehow combined Twilight with Peter Pan. Yeah, now that I think about it, this is really weird. Go figure. :P Review please!