Author's Note: Written in late September. I love this show and the books! This was fun because not only did I get in Dexter's head; I get to have a conversation with you, the readers, as him. This fic is so casually dark and comedic. Bloody good! (Pun intended) ENJOY! Please R&R!
Disclaimer: characters credited to Showtime.
Out of this Nightmare
Hallow nothingness…
Nowhere to escape to but my own mind; where the nightmare first was created.
Scars permanent. Unreleavable.
Cut so deep that the aching changes the way my eyes look at everything, evaluate things. The grayish tissue that occupies my skull acts as cold iron gates; forever-keeping emotions alien to me.
A monster, most would call me.
The few others that have been through what I have, plagued with what I have seen, only they would call me a survivor.
I know no other way to cope with moving slowly through an emotionless void, as I do.
'Biney' understood me.
But I had to dispose of him.. MY way.
He threatened my routine, the continuous circle of: need, stalk, slaughter.
We had different intentions, you see.
He stole innocence from vulnerable women, their deaths undeserved.
I simply put an end to those who commit murder for pure pleasure.
Hypocritical?
It's better this way, I assure you.
Less darkness to influence unnecessary pain on our 'beautiful' world, or should I say your world?
I want out.
But I know there's no way out besides death.
Not that I haven't considered this possibility, but because of Harry's 'standards' I have created a fake circle of trust around me.
Deb, Angel, Rita, the kids…
I can't just leave them. At least, not so suddenly.
You may call me a fake or even a coward.
Reaching for the surface now would be the end of me. I have drowned myself deep enough, anyway.
Detox would result in accidents, cold blood strewn for no reason but to restore my false sanity.
Like a junkie, I am addicted.
I readily admit that. The urges are inexplicably powerful. They own me.
I just happen to like it.
Well if I can't get out. I might as well dive in head first with a big ol' grin on my face..
Nightmares suck.