Author's Note: So finally, here I am at the start of 'Fall To Grace'. I've been planning out this story for a while, focusing on some of the issues that were left out of 'If I Don't Get Up', and it seems almost surreal to finally be here sitting down to write it – never before have I been through so many redrafts of how I want to say things than I have with this story, so fingers crossed you'll like it. Originally I was going to use Santana and Brittany for this, but then the story shifted to Sam and Blaine before I finally settled on returning to Sam and Rory as the focal couple. I think that their characters work well together, but also embody feelings that were around at this time of life. I hope you like this piece, and as always, reviews are appreciated massively! Of course, I still don't own Glee.
Sam stood in front of the mirror, his shirt pulled up and his hands wandering around his skin. When did he get so fat? He pulled at the skin around the bottom of his abs, and pinched. He was so ugly. Why would anyone want to date him? Quinn must be blind to want to go out with someone so fat and disgusting. He turned around and looked over his shoulder at his back. It felt like fat was hanging off him all over the place. This was horrible. Disgusting. That's the word he uses to describe himself. He has heard people say that he is the best looking guy in Glee, but he knows that bullshit, because he can see his body more than others can, and even if he is the only one who notices, he knows that he's an ugly, disgusting thing. He pulls his shirt down. He doesn't want to look at himself anymore. It just makes him feel sick to see all that fat. Quinn deserves someone better than him. It's just, he loves her so much, and he can't bear to leave her. He would be seeing her tomorrow. It was something he was looking forward to – it had been a week since they had seen each other thanks to work for school and sports practices and family commitments. That night, he fell asleep thinking of her. She made him whole. What would he do without her?
"Hey Ror! You seen Quinn around?" Sam searched the crowd for his girlfriend, but there was no sign. Rory shrugged. He hadn't seen her yet, but he had first period with her, so he would tell her then that Sam had been looking for her. The pair wandered towards their lockers through the crowd, catching up on what the other had been doing during the holiday. Turned out Rory had been away with the Pierces, which was why he hadn't been able to call or text – poor signal. Sam filled him in on the events of his manic break while they were packing their book bags. They were both peacefully happy in each other's company. It had always been this way between the pair, and the other gleeks found it hysterical, often making jokes about the flourishing 'bromance' going on. For the boys, it was just another part of their day, ignoring the comments, or swatting away the jibes from the jocks and judgemental student body. To think, Sam even had a girlfriend, but still he was subjected to the ridicule. Yeah it sometimes pissed him off, but him and Rory were good friends, so it wasn't going to stop him from sticking close to the boy.
It was lunchtime when he finally found Quinn, who was walking into the canteen, showing no effort to search for Sam. It was when he first saw her look at him that he realised something was wrong. She seemed… Well, timid, like there was something about him she was scared of. It confused him. What had happened? Normally she was so happy to see him. He walked up to her, and gave her a hug. She wriggled out of his embrace, and looked him in the eye. "Sam, we need to talk". Fuck. He had heard those words before. Worse, he had said similar things to people, and he knew the pain that normally followed. She grabbed his hand, and pulled him into a corridor just outside the food hall. She looked into his eyes for a second before seemingly making her mind up in front of him. "We can't do this anymore Sam. We aren't working out. You can see that right?" Sam thought back over the relationship. To him, everything seemed perfect. What had he done wrong? Fuck. It was because he was so disgusting. He knew it. He just didn't want to believe it. He had always thought that maybe this would happen – who would want him anyway? He remembered what he had thought the night before. Quinn deserved someone better. He nodded, and she smiled. "No hard feelings right Sam?" He shook his head, indicating no. She pulled his arm to walk into the canteen, but he tugged away, and walked off in the other direction. He needed time to think about this. There was no way he could face the glee club right now. He knew what he wanted to say, but could he really do it? Quinn would understand right? Only one way to find out.
Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me
And even at the bottom of the sea
I could still hear inside my head
Tellin' me, touch me, feel me
Sam was so nervous singing this song in front of the club. Very few of his performances in the past had actually had much of how he felt put into them, with many just chances for a song, but now he was trying to bear himself to them. He wanted Quinn to understand that this song wasn't angry to him, but he saw it as more regretful, as a way of saying that he wished things had worked out, but he could live knowing that they hadn't.
And all the time you were tellin' me lies
So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?
Well, you could try sleeping in my bed.
That night, Rory had knocked on Sam's door. When the blond boy appeared behind the glass, Rory rushed in and gave him a hug to say everything was going to be alright. Sam seemed somewhat out of it, but that was to be expected considering the days events. He just hoped Sam wouldn't be down for long – he hated seeing his best friend like this.
Lonely, own me nobody ever shut it down like you
You wore the crown
You made my body feel heaven bound
Why don't you hold me
Need me, I thought you told me
You'd never leave me
They went upstairs to Sam's room, which was where the boy fell to pieces. Rory held him while he cried. Big, heavy tears that felt like they carried the weight of the world. Rory wanted to cry as well. His friend should have a perfect life, nothing should ever get him down, but here he was crying into his shoulder. But he carried on dry - he had to be strong for Sam. Had to be a support.
Looking in the sky I could see your face
And I know right where I fit in
Take me, make me, you know that I'll always be in love
With you
Right til the end Oh
Rory knew that this was just another one of those parts of life. Those moments when it feels like the end because you have lost somebody that meant a lot to you, so he knew that he would have to be there to help Sam through this break up. He understood just how much Sam loved Quinn, so he knew just what it must feel like for him. She was everything to him, and had been for the past seven months.
So tonight, I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
I'm gonna hold on to the times that we had tonight
I'm gonna find a way to make it without you
Sam pulled himself together. He would have to move on in his life, but for now, he would have time to be sad about life. He started to think about himself, and what he needed to do. He knew why Quinn didn't want him. He was disgusting. He himself wanted to tear pieces of his skin off. He stood up and saw Rory out of the house, under the pretense of heading to sleep. Instead, he returned to the mirror.
Anybody could've told you right from the start
It's bout to fall apart
So rather than hold onto a broken dream
I'll just hold on to love
Sam took a deep breath, looking around the glee club to see what the reaction was to his song. Quinn seemed furious. She stormed up to him, fury in her eyes. "Sam, I thought we said no hard feelings!" And before he had a chance to reply, she was gone, and all he could do was watch her as she left the room.
So the song used in this chapter was Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart by Alicia Keys. I hope you found this chapter interesting, but I know that it is rather uneventful. I just needed to set up the events that are to unfold, so fingers crossed you liked it enough to stick around with me for a little while. Thanks for reading, and as already stated, reviews are appreciated!