Are you guys ready? It's random oneshot time! This oneshot is for Sorrowsnow, since she wrote me a random oneshot! :3 Time to return the favor! X3 I hope you like it! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Left 4 Dead or Left 4 Dead 2 in any way, shape, or form! Taunter belongs to me, my characters representative of a certain Smoker and a certain Hunter belong to me, and Calli belongs to Sorrowsnow. (lol I nearly forgot this. XD)

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Smoker was really a bit confused. It was just the fact that two of the Infected in the alley had completely switched places. He saw, waking up in the middle of night for a bathroom break, that for some reason, Jeffry was sprawled out on top of one of the mattresses littering the alley, and Calli was the one inside the safe room. And stranger yet, she was awake. Usually, she was one of the heavier sleepers around there.

"Hey," he said quietly as he walked in, so not to wake anyone else up. "What's up? Why are you still awake?"

"Who? Me? I dunno," Calli said, looking away. "I mean, it's not like I got scared of something or anything."

"Scared of something? Like what?"

"Well, you remember that story that Hunter told when we were all telling scary stories?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Well, it's true."

"True?" Smoker asked in surprise. "So there's really some Infected that goes around only attacking people who deserve it?"

"Yeah. He's a Charger," Calli nodded. "And I get the feeling that he might be after me. He always came after me in the town I was in before, so what if he followed me here?"

"So…there's a Charger harassing you for your karma?" Smoker summarized, sitting down next to Calli.

"Yeah, basically," Calli nodded.

"And you think that he followed you here?"

"Yup."

"Hmm…" Smoker thought for a moment. "Well, geez. I hardly know what to say."

"But seriously…I'm freaking out over this," Calli turned to look at him, looking dead serious. "I don't know what I'm gonna do if he comes after me again." Smoker paused a moment, feeling bad for her.

"Well…if he comes around, I'll keep you safe," he smiled at her. "You know. Just use my 'Super Smoker' powers and such."

"Super Smoker?" Calli laughed a bit. "Wow. Creative super hero name."

"Hey, it's the best I got!" Smoker couldn't help laughing a bit, too. "But seriously. I wouldn't just let some random Charger guy hurt you. I'll make sure that you're safe, so don't worry."

"Really?" Calli grinned at him.

"Well, yeah. Of course!" Smoker nodded. Calli smiled wider.

"Thanks, Smoker," she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and he could feel heat rising up to his face in surprise. Calli laughed a little bit more at this, and Smoker couldn't help but smile.

"Well, get some sleep," he told her. "Or else you'll be tired tomorrow."

"Okay," Calli replied, laying her head down onto his shoulder.

"Are you sure that you don't want a bed?"

"Are you kidding? This is the best bed around!"

"Okay then," Smoker agreed after a moment. "Good night, Calli. See you in the morning."

"Good night," Calli said, closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep almost immediately. Now, Smoker just had to figure out what to do. He had never tried to sleep while sitting up before, after all. But when he glanced down at Calli and saw how comfortable she looked, he decided not to go anywhere. Besides, he had promised to protect her from that Charger guy, anyway. And yet, as he continued to stare out the door, keeping a vigilant watch, he soon found his one good eye closing, and soon enough, he was asleep as well.

…...

When Smoker woke up the next morning, he realized that Calli wasn't awake yet, still leaning on his shoulder. He blinked a few times, but suddenly saw a flash right in front of him, and squinted. Once the little splotches of light let up flashing in his eyes, he was able to see what was going on. In front of him was an old camera. Holding the camera was a smirking Hunter, with a curious looking Taunter behind him.

"Well, well, Smoker, what do we have here?" Hunter asked, his smirk breaking out into a full fledged grin as he spoke. "Is there something that you wanted to tell us? Well, it doesn't matter anyway, I already have the photo documentation anyway." Smoker glared at Hunter dully.

"You're an asshole, you know?" he asked. Hunter shook his head and shrugged. "Well, what are you going to do with that photo, huh?"

"What do you do with photos? You show them to people, right?"

"Well, you probably don't want to do that."

"Why not?"

"I still have that photo of you from the toilet paper incident a year ago."

"…you don't."

"Yeah. I do. And if you show that photo of yours to anyone, I might just accidentally show a few people my photo of you…"

"What was the toilet paper incident?" Taunter asked curiously.

"Oh, it was-" Smoker began to explain.

"Nothing! It was nothing!" Hunter cut him off. "I never wanted to show this stupid photo to anyone anyway! The lighting in here is terrible, horrible for pictures!" Hunter turned, tossing the camera into a box and going out of the room grudgingly. Taunter went after him, aiming to pester him about this supposed "toilet paper incident" until he told her what it was. Smoker glanced down at Calli as she started to wake up.

"Were Hunter and Taunter just in here?" she mumbled sleepily. "What happened?"

"Nothing, really."

"Was Hunter being an ass?"

"Sorta."

"Did you get back at him."

"Yup," Smoker nodded. Calli grinned, hugging Smoker.

"And that's one reason I really like you!" she giggled. Smoker chuckled a bit, and the two of them stood up.

"Let's head outside," Smoker suggested.

"Sure," Calli smiled, nodding. "Hey, do you wanna annoy Hunter some more?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Yay! This is gonna be fun!"

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Yaaaaaay for random oneshots! :D Ahhh Smoker…I love your personality… XD Lol and poor Hunter. :P And as for what the "toilet paper incident" is, I have no idea. XD Use your imaginations. XD It's more fun that way. :3