Author's Note: I wrote this WAY back in September! It was my very first HP fic. Kinda angsty. But I like it. ENJOY! PLEASE R&R!
Disclaimer: All characters credited to JK Rowling.
Misunderstood and Mislead
A tortured soul. A blank look in his eyes, a vacancy where there had always been a spark of passion. It was as if his consciousness had been stolen away in sacrifice of the death he had witnessed.
After Cedric's death, Harry had become distant- if not completely lost. The first few days that followed the tragedy, he had become completely silent- absent from all classes and avoided contact with everyone – even his godfather, Sirius Black. Ron and I agreed to give him as much time and space that was necessary for his mental and emotional recovery. But even many weeks later, Harry was nowhere to be found. If it was even possible, it was as if he had faded even further into the shadows of his darkened mind.
My heart wrenched at the thought of his beautiful soul disappearing into the depths of his own mind, forever.
I began to throw myself entirely into my studies, trying to break myself of any wandering thoughts. Having no social contact began to cause me to yearn for his presence once more- ironically, I had gone full circle; making my distractions worth nothing.
Recalling his dark, raven-colored hair as it swished when he reached for the mischievous golden snitch, it only centimeters away from his index finger, followed by the priceless look of triumph displayed on his face as thru stands filled with booming cheers of celebration, I found myself climbing the stairs, away from the Gryffindor common room and towards the boy's quarters, knowing that I would seemingly regret these steps later.
Silence filled my ears as I stepped softly into the dimly lit room, sensing my pupils adjusting to the poor lighting. My heart beat quickened in anticipation, my stomach fluttering with each step I took closer. I noticed his outline, quivering slightly, sending shadows dancing around the ancient room. I reached out one hand to place upon his shoulder, but shied away seconds before I made contact.
As if sensing my presence, Harry turned towards me, his face white as winter snow, from spending hour upon hour in this darkness. His eyes a mirror to another world; full of suffering and torturous memories. He seemed to have not slept for a great amount of time, the exhaustion apparent on his face. My eyes began to fill with tears, but as I realized this would not help lessen Harry's emotions, I collected myself immediately.
"They're vivid."
Harry's voice broke through the uncomfortable quiet of the quarters. I drank in his words, savoring every one of them. Feeling the selfish joy of personally hearing his first word in weeks. Yet the solemnity returned when I open my eyes, seeing his once again, guilt stabbing through my heart.
"What are, Harry, what are 'vivid'?"
He looked up at me, his eyes shining with tears, horror making him slink further into the corner of his bed. It pained me to see one of my closest friends in such a vulnerable state. It struck me also that this particular friend had once been called the 'Boy Wonder' and was presently cowering in fear of me: a significantly lesser wizard (or had been as such in the past). I stuck out my hand to show that I meant no harm and to simply comfort him, but this time he struggled away, closing his eyes before crying out in pain.
"THE MEMORIES!"
He wailed beginning to tremble with intensity.
"We were supposed to win TOGETHER! But instead he died alone. Why couldn't I have stood up, instead of him? I should have been BRAVE! But my fear and hesitation got him killed… got CEDRIC killed. I-I killed him!"
It was too much for me to handle as I watched him expel sobs and river of tears. Voldemort had spoiled him; stolen his happiness and brave outlook. Harry would never be the same; his thoughts forever poisoned by the disturbing images of Cedric's murder… Harry would always live with his freshly plagued soul.
"Harry, it was an accident. You had no prior knowledge of Voldemort's plot, it was just bad timing. You are not at fault, in any way. He was brave and strong enough to stand up to Lord Voldemort: one of the most powerful wizard in all of wizarding history!"
He merely blinked at me and then continued to sob, my feeble attempt at comforting him a failure.
" I was there and I did nothing.."
He mumbled miserably, choking on his words as the tears continued to stream down his pale face.
His sadness and guilt were destroying him, pulling him out of reality into a world of shame. I just needed to rescue him…
As if on instinct alone, I pushed myself towards him; so close I could feel his hot breath of my cheeks. There were only millimeters of space between us…
My lips brushed against his softly as I pulled him in closer, feeling the cold of his tears press against my skin with contact. My head became light with the shared anxiety between us: his tension in contrast with my comfort.
At first, his lips simply trembled until he finally gave in to the temptation in the release of emotions, pressing his lips more forcefully against mine.
"Oh, Cedric…"
The words passed my ears so quietly they almost couldn't have existed; but they did.
I pulled away, a look of obvious embarrassment on my face. Harry's eyes were dark: lost in though or more likely memory. Backing away, I shook my head, ashamed of my actions.
I ran down the stairs as swiftly as a snitch zips through the air just inches away from the seeker's fingertips. Breathing heavily, I collapsed onto a chair in the common room.
A tortured soul. A blank look in his eyes, a vacancy where there had always been a spark of passion. His consciousness stolen away by the loss of a brave peer and a lover…