After the Break-up
by
John O'Connor
"Jade?" Tori cried pleadingly. "Please talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about, Vega. It's over. That's all."
Jade stomped out of the bedroom they shared and a teary-eyed Tori followed, "But Jade…"
The Goth turned, her eyes full of fury as she pointed at Tori and declared, "NO!"
Tori halted in her tracks. She had never seen Jade like this before. The girl was almost homicidal. And it scared the young Latina. Still, she held out her hand, palm up, and tried again, "Please Jade. Let's talk about this."
"We don't talk! You tell me what I should do! Well, Tori Vega, I don't need people telling me what to do. Maybe now, you'll figure it out. Ask Beck, he can tell you! Ask my father…" The last was a growl.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to tell you what you should do but, this time, I…"
Jade's eyes narrowed dangerously before she turned, stomping down the stairs. From behind, she heard Tori's plaintive, "Jade…"
Holly Vega was in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. She had heard the argument upstairs but opted to stay out of it. Better for them to have their first fight without anyone else butting in.
But now, hearing her daughter's anguished voice, she stepped in.
"Jade?"
The furious teen turned to her, "What?"
"What is going on? What did you two fight about?"
Jade opened her mouth then closed it, shaking her head.
She stormed to the door and yanked it open. Before she walked out, she said, "It's personal."
With that, and a squealing of brakes in the street, Jade was gone.
Holly turned to her daughter who was sitting on the top step, sobbing into her hands as she whispered, "Jade…"
Jade drove. And drove fast. She was furious. How dare Tori… Then she shook her head, unwilling to go over it all over again.
Pulling up to the Jet Brew near their school, she came out of her reverie. She hadn't even noticed where she was driving or could even remember the drive itself. Her internal auto-pilot had kicked in and led her some place where she felt relatively at ease. Especially since she had burned her welcome at her new home.
She slammed her fist on the steering wheel. "Goddammit!"
Finally, blinking back tears she refused to acknowledge, Jade went in, ordered her usual and found a table in the back to sit and …
What? What could she do? All that came to her was the image of Tori in tears, pleading with Jade not to leave.
"Too late, Vega," she muttered. "Things have gone to hell…"
As she finished her coffee, she ordered another. Shortly after, some studly clown came up and asked if he could join her.
Before he could even utter a word, Jade, still staring into her cup, said, "Walk away."
"Huh?"
"Do yourself a favor and walk away," Jade said, her voice laced with menace.
The jock finally got the message and left the coffee shop, muttering, "Dike" to himself.
Jade choked on a small laugh, "If you only knew."
Finishing her second cup, she thought about getting a third then decided to leave.
She drove around aimlessly, with no destination in mind.
As the sun began to set, Jade found herself in a familiar place.
Walking across the grass, she headed towards the tall swing set. It was a throwback to an older, less politically-correct, safety-conscious time. It was a tall A-frame made of heavy-duty aluminum pipes that suspended hard rubber sling seats from long chains.
Jade settled into one of the sling seats and began to slowly rock back and forth. As she swung further and higher, her mind slipped back nearly a decade.
~flashback~
Aunt Michelle was a history buff. Actually, she taught history at one of the local colleges, Jade never cared enough to know which. What 9 year old would? But she loved her aunt and when Aunt Michelle watched something on TV, Jade was right there with her.
This time, they were watching the old movie, "12 O'Clock High" with Gregory Peck. Her aunt explained the basics to Jade about the Second World War and how the Allies fought to keep the world from falling to the Axis powers, particularly the Nazis who controlled Germany at the time.
The movie was a recreation of part of the air war that raged over Europe and was based on the real events of the era. The characters were fictional composites of real Army Air Corps personnel of the USAAF 8th Air Force bomber squadrons.
At her young age, Jade wasn't too concerned with the realities of the war but found the air combat sequences exciting. Afterwards, she ran to the nearby park and took to the swings. Pretending she was one of the B-17 pilots, she talked over an imaginary radio for takeoff from the English countryside that the park represented.
Soon, as she was swinging higher, she was soaring over the English Channel and Occupied Europe. She began her orders to the crew. "Pilot to Bombardier. Pilot to Bombardier. We are approaching the target. Gunners, watch for enemy fighters."
Soon, in her imaginary world, the sky was full of flak bursts, Messerschmitt and Focke Wulf fighters - not that a 9-year old really knew about different fighters from 60 years before - and surviving bombers pushing through the enemy defenses valiantly to their targets. Her plane and crew were fighting for their lives as they dropped their bombs on Berlin. Then they turned for home.
As the air combat commenced, Jade continued to swing and started to twist, pretending she was flying all around the sky to avoid the Kraut fighters. Finally, as her plane neared their English base, she slowed her swinging as she called into the tower. "B-17 coming in. We lost an engine but we're okay…"
As she landed, her feet skidded in the dirt to halt the swing and she raced to her aunt who was standing to the side. "Didja see me, Aunt Michelle? Didja see? We bombed Hitler!"
Aunt Michelle had a huge smile on her face as she hugged her niece, "Of course you did, sweetheart. Got him right in his swastika! Good for you."
They walked back home, hand in hand as Jade told her all about the mission.
~end flashback~
Jade swung high, the old chains squealing with the strain. All she could see was her aunt, her girlfriend and all the dramatic tragedy her life had become. Tears blurred her eyes and she barely saw the park trees or the Hollywood Hills beyond.
As the darkness fell completely on the park, Jade seemed to come to her senses and left the park before any of the night life decided to bother her. Not that she was afraid. She knew she could take care of herself. And part of her really, really wanted to inflict bodily harm on someone.
As she walked to her car, she glanced down at the tattoo on the inside of her right wrist. It was called a rebel star and covered a small scar. It looked like a representation of the cardinal points of a compass and was pretty much a sold image with highlights only visible when someone looked closely at it.
She smiled grimly as she recalled, six months after she started pretending to be a bomber pilot, her plane was going down, the victim of too many Luftwaffe fighters. As she ordered her crew to bail out, she jumped off the swing at the top of her forward arc. She'd done this several times with no more than a scraped knee to show for it.
This time, she landed wrong and broke her wrist, the bone splinter poking through the skin. Aunt Michelle was there, as always, and quickly picked her up, rushing her to the hospital. On the way, she called the West house and told Jade's mother about the accident and where she was taking her niece.
Jade had to have surgery to have a small plate implanted to hold the two parts of her ulna together as the bone knitted together. Her mother was at the hospital shortly after they arrived. Her father, who had an important business meeting, made it there several hours later - about half-way through the surgery. The West women both gave him the silent treatment for making work more important than his own daughter.
After the healing and the physical therapy, Jade still rubbed the small scar whenever she felt agitated. Her father always yelled at her when she did that, thinking she was accusing him of being a bad father.
In reality, Jade was using that to remember her aunt – especially after her father ordered her aunt from the house because she dared to love another woman.
The tattoo that followed was only partially a rebellion against her parents. She loved the scar as she saw that as a reminder that her aunt loved her. But, she was just becoming a young woman and didn't want anything like that marring her skin. The illogic of a tattoo covering a scar didn't matter to her.
And so, the rebel star pattern.
"Where now?" she asked aloud. She couldn't go back to the Vegas, not after the argument she had with Tori. That life – her short period of real happiness – was gone for good. Beck was out of the question. They were friends but there was still too much recent, painful history there. Andre was out too – before long, Jade would be ready to kill his crazy grandmother. The Goth shuddered when she considered Robbie and his evil (to her) puppet. That pretty much left Cat.
Then she remembered Cat was up north near Santa Rosa for some family wedding.
"Oh god…"
Jade sighed and got in her car. She started to drive off, again with no destination in mind. Less than a block away, she saw her house. Inexplicably, she pulled over. She looked at the house, lights shining warmly from the living room windows.
The heart-broken girl sat there for a long time, trying to decide what to do and where to go.
Suddenly, there was a knocking at the driver's side window. "Jade! Jadie! You came back!"
Jade jerked up in surprise then smiled when she saw her little brother standing outside.
She rolled down the window and said, "Hey kiddo! How are you?"
"Jadie, I haven't seen you in like forever! Where's Tori? Are you home now? C'mon in."
"I can't kiddo," Jade replied sadly. Then she started to sob, the tears flowing freely for the first time since the whole mess started.
Suddenly her mother was standing behind her brother, "Jade, please come in. We can talk."
"Why? Why suddenly do you feel the need to talk to me? Didn't my father say enough the last time?" Her voice held menace but again lowered closer to a growl when she mentioned her father. Her body was vibrating internally like a plucked guitar string
"Jade, your father isn't here anymore."
The Goth sat there, hearing the words but not registering them.
"Jade? Did you hear me? Your father moved out. I…I couldn't take losing anyone else in my life. And especially my daughter."
Finally, meaning crept in around the blind anger and Jade could only stare straight ahead, her knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. "Wh…" Taking a deep breath, she tried again, "What? He's gone?"
A hand rested on her shoulder. Jade debated shrugging it off but was just too drained. Her mother's voice was close and the teen could smell the cinnamon mocha of her coffee as the woman spoke.
"I hated your father that night when he disowned you. But I was scared too. I'm so, so sorry. But Christmas was the last straw. I asked him to call you and invite you to dinner and he went off again on some holier-than-thou rant about lesbians and degenerates. I walked away and…"
Hearing a sob, Jade turned towards her mother. Through her own tears of anger and sorrow, she saw the woman who gave birth to her kneeling next to her car, crying. Her brother, a look of fear on his face, stood behind.
Gently opening the door, allowing her mother time to stand back, Jade got out of the car. Her mother started to embrace her but Jade yelled, "NO!"
Stepping back a pace, the woman asked again, "Would you come in? I don't want to talk about this in the street."
Jade nodded, still wary of the whole situation. Was this what Tori was trying to tell her? Was this what caused their big blow-up? Could this whole nasty mess be caused by her all-too common habit of jumping to conclusions?
Inside, Jade walked quickly to the sofa and sat down on the edge. Her brother sat next to her and leaned into her. "I miss you, Jade."
The first real smile, in what seemed forever to the teen, appeared on Jade's face. "I miss you too, Little Guy."
"I got your present. It's wicked cool!"
"Are you any good?" Jade taunted him.
"I can kick your butt, Old Lady!" her brother declared.
"Yeah, well…"
"Young man, what have I told you about language?"
"Sorry Mom."
Their mother came towards them, holding out a coffee mug to Jade. "It's your favorite."
"Thanks" Jade muttered, taking the mug. Then she looked up and saw her mother's face clearly in the light. There was some discoloration around her right eye, as if a bruise was fading.
Knitting her brows, Jade asked, "Who did that? Did he do that?"
Her mother heard the growing menace in Jade's tone. She sat next to Jade, not too near, on the other side from her son.
"Daddy yelled at Mommy and I heard the smack. When I started to come downstairs, he yelled at me so I went back to my room. I was really afraid, Jade."
"Why didn't you call me, kiddo?"
"My phone was down here."
Her mother spoke up, "Your… He back-handed me as I started to walk away. He was immediately sorry but…"
"Did he hit you before?"
"No. It was the first time I got hit but he punched out a wall when he threw you out."
"I hope he broke his fucking hand…"
"Jade!? You said a bad word," her brother declared. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and hugged him.
With a smirk, she said, "Yeah, I did."
"Jade, you have to understand. Your father was brought up in a very conservative parish back in Minnesota. His morals were shaped by that old dogma. And it allows for no…gays or…"
"Wives who talk back?" Jade sniped.
"That wasn't… I don't know if you remember but we argued a lot after he ordered his sister to leave." Jade nodded. Like her brother recently, she cowered in her room in fear many times the first few months after losing her aunt.
"Well, naturally it was a lot worse now. Before, I lost the love of…" The elder West paused then continued, "This time, he took my little girl away. I guess you were already going away when you started this Gothic fixation but you were, and are, still my little girl.
"The arguments were practically non-stop. The only reason I didn't leave was because of my little man over there."
"So what changed?"
"Well, first, I have to tell you that almost all the money in this family comes from your father. If I did leave, I'd have a helluva time supporting the two of us."
"Mommy, you said a bad word."
"Yes dear. I'm sorry." She smiled at her son, the love she felt practically shining out like a beacon. That beacon was then turned to Jade and the Goth felt an unusual warmth in her heart for the woman. "Anyway, Jade, I couldn't do that. At least, not yet. So I stuck it out.
"Then, when he hit me, I had an out. The love I thought we shared had been slowly dissipating over the years since Michelle…" A look of intense sorrow crossed the woman's face for a moment. "Um… by the time you came out, it was practically non-existent. But, for his sake, I stayed." She nodded towards Jade's brother, cuddled up to his big sister.
"I'm so sorry, Jade. It wasn't… It isn't fair to you. You didn't do anything to deserve this. Please don't ever think this was, in any way, your fault."
"I don't," Jade said simply.
"Anyway, now, I have ammunition. First I took a picture of my face when the bruise was…bigger than now."
"Jade, it was ugly! Mommy's whole side of her face was all puffy and black. I was scared for her."
Both West women smiled at the boy. Then Jade turned back to her mother. "Any other damage?"
"I don't think so. The next morning, when the swelling got bad, I went to the ER but there were no broken bones."
"So…?"
"I have the pictures I took, pictures, X-rays and the other medical records from the hospital, and the police report the ER nurse filled out – which I signed. Once I got home, I threw him out. That day I contacted a divorce attorney I know and we've started proceedings."
"Are you gonna clean him out?" Jade asked, knowing she would in a heartbeat.
"No. I'm asking for the house, sole custody of the little guy and half your father's assets."
"What about me?" Jade's voice was small.
"Jade, you're legally an adult now. I can't ask for custody. But I can provide for you, if you'll let me."
"Why didn't you…" Jade stopped, knowing the answer to her question. And she suddenly felt horrible about it.
"Why didn't I let you know?" Taking Jade's hand, her mother held it gently, running her thumb across the back slowly. "I tried. I called but got your voice mail every time. I texted many times but you ignored those too. Finally, I called your girlfriend, Tori."
"Oh god," Jade moaned. It really was all her fault.
~flashback~
"Jade, I think you should call your mother."
"No. That woman didn't even put up a fight when…he declared he had no daughter!"
"But Jade, I really think you need to talk to…"
"NO!" Jade yelled.
After over an hour of shouting back and forth and insults hurled by Jade to the girl who had become her whole world, Jade finally declared, "This is over! All of it! I don't need you nagging my ass about some people who don't even care about me!"
"But Jade…" Tori's voice was fearful.
Interrupting the girl who had invaded her heart, Jade said, "This is so typical, Vega. You can't just leave well enough alone. Like the time you tried to 'fix' Sikowitz after that stupid play or when Cat wanted to see that her 'dead' favorite TV star. Who was still alive in San Diego, in cas you forgot. You cannot fix things, Tori. You only make them worse."
Ignoring the shattered girl sitting on the bed, Jade stood and walked to the closet, grabbing clothes and shoving them in a duffle bag. "I can't deal with this Vega. This sweet, sappy Brady Bunch life of yours is stifling!"
Inside, Jade was screaming at herself to shut up but the anger and the need to hurt was paramount at that moment.
"I have to get away. You're smothering me."
"Jade?" Tori cried pleadingly. "Please talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about, Vega. It's over. That's all."
Jade stomped out of the bedroom they shared and a teary-eyed Tori followed, "But Jade…"
The Goth turned, her eyes full of fury as she pointed at Tori and declared, "NO!"
Tori halted in her tracks. She had never seen Jade like this before. The girl was almost homicidal. And it scared the young Latina. Still, she held out her hand, palm up, and tried again, "Please Jade. Let's talk about this."
"We don't talk! You tell me what I should do! Well, Tori Vega, I don't need people telling me what to do. Maybe now, you'll figure it out. Ask Beck, he can tell you!"
"I'm sorry. I don't want to tell you what you should do but, this time, I…"
Jade's eyes narrowed and she turned, stomping down the stairs. From behind, she heard Tori's plaintive, "Jade…"
Holly Vega was in the kitchen, getting dinner ready. She had heard the argument upstairs but opted to stay out of it. Better for them to have their first fight without anyone else butting in.
But now, hearing her daughter's anguished voice, she stepped in.
"Jade?"
The furious teen turned to her, "What?"
"What is going on? What did you two fight about?"
Jade opened her mouth then closed it, shaking her head.
She stormed to the door and yanked it open. Before she walked out, she said, "It's personal."
With that, and a squealing of brakes in the street, Jade was gone.
~end flashback~
"Oh god," Jade sobbed. "I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me…"
"Jade, it's not too late." An arm wrapped around Jade's quaking shoulders and she leaned into her mother's embrace.
"Yes, it is Mother. I insulted her and told her she was stupid and a nag and… God, even worse things…"
"So you argued? It happens all the time. No relationship is absolutely perfect. Even a perfect couple like you and Tori."
"But why didn't she tell me?"
"Maybe she felt it better if you heard it from me," her mother suggested. "And, if Tori Vega is the girl I think she is, she'll take you back in a Tijuana minute."
Jade snorted a laugh and wiped the snot bubble away, "A what?"
"Doesn't matter. Call her. Trust me."
"I left my phone at the Vegas'…"
"Here, Jadey, you can use my phone!"
Jade sniffed and rubbed her eyes, tears threading down her cheeks, "Thanks, kiddo."
"C'mon, Champ. Let's give your sister some privacy."
"Okay Mommy."
Jade sat there in silence, staring at the phone in her hand. Slowly she punched in Tori's number and her thumb hovered over the call button icon. Taking a deep shuddering breath, Jade stabbed the icon with her index finger.
Holding the phone to her ear, Jade closed her eyes. Then she heard the recorded message and sighed, "Voice mail."
Then, debating between leaving a message and hanging up, she heard a familiar voice, "Hello?"
"T…Tori? It's me. I…"
"Jade, are you alright? I've been worried sick!"
Choking back a sob, Jade managed to say, "I'm fine. I'm at my house. I…I don't know what to say, Tori. I'm just so sorry. I didn't…mean all those things I said. I…I'm sorry."
Jade disconnected the call and fell back on the sofa, covering her eyes with her arm as she sobbed.
The next thing she knew was a soft voice whispering in her ear, "Jade? Honey? Wake up."
The pale girl smiled slightly and moved her head. Then, remembrance hit and her eyes flew open. 'A dream, just a dream,' she thought. 'Now the nightmare…'
She slowly sat up and felt someone next to her. "Mom, I really want to be alone right…"
"Your mom's in the kitchen getting us some hot cocoa."
"TORI?!" Jade face was almost comical. Streaks of mascara trailing down from red-rimmed eyes that were almost as wide as saucers with her mouth hanging open.
Tori pushed the jaw up with her finger, joking, "Trying to catch flies?"
"Tori, you're here. And after all the things…"
"Ssh…" Tori silenced Jade with a quick kiss, tasting the salt from her tears. "We had our first argument."
"That's what Mom said but…"
"Hush. It was just an argument but you made some valid points. I do try to fix things – sometimes too much. But arguments happen. Even a doozy like ours!
"Jade, you ever hear of the Battling Bickersons?"
"The who? Is this some of that fake WWE crap?"
"No. It was an old radio show. Don Ameche and Frances Langford. Every episode had them tearing each other apart verbally but they always made up in the end. Like 'The Honeymooners'… Ralph and Alice did the same thing on the old Gleason show but they always kissed and made up at the end.
"Now kiss me and we can start making up."
Jade nodded eagerly and kissed the love of her life. 'We do belong together,' she decided.
The kiss ended when the Wests came back in with cocoa. "With real marshmallows?"
"Yes, Jade. Real marshmallows," her mother replied.
Tori nudged Jade, "Big, bad Jade West demands real marshmallows…"
"Watch it, Vega." Jade's smile belied the mock threat.
"Sure thing Rocky Raccoon," Tori said in reply, "I thought that your new mascara wasn't supposed to run…"
With a look of mixed horror and anger, Jade raced to the bathroom while the other three laughed.
With a cleaner face, Jade returned and rejoined her loved ones on the couch. They sat and talked about everything. Tori even opened up about the problems her parents had for a while.
Pizza was ordered and Jade finally asked her mother a question that was nagging at her.
"Mom, can I ask you something?"
"Sure. Anything."
Jade smiled, it was almost like before when she and her mother were close – before that horrible day when Aunt Michelle had to leave.
"Earlier, you were saying something about the love of your life."
Sitting up and looking her daughter straight in the eye, she said, "Yes. You want to know who I was talking about. It was your aunt."
"Aunt Michelle?" Jade gasped. "You and she…"
"We were girlfriends. For a while. We got placed as roommates in college and ended up being friends then… Later, I met her brother and thought he was it. We decided we had to break it off. I started dating him and…"
"Did he know about you two?"
"No. Never. And, while I loved him, I wasn't ever out of love with Michelle. When she moved in with us, it was hard at first but just having her near was better than not seeing her at all."
"Did you ever hear from her? You know, after…"
"No. She quit at USC and got a teaching job at UC-Davis. Well we did talk one last time, just before she moved north. It was the hardest conversation I ever had. We decided we'd let each other go and…" Mrs. West choked back a sob.
Uncharacteristically, Jade hugged her mother, feeling the woman's pain. "Maybe you can hook up again. Now that…"
"No. We never talked again but I did friend her on Facebook and… Well, she's got what sounds like a great life. She's got a new partner and they have a little Vietnamese girl they adopted."
"I'm so sorry, Mom."
"Me too. But I have no one to blame but myself."
"No, blame that bast…" Jade paused as she glanced at her brother who was trying to stifle a yawn, unsuccessfully. "Blame that creep who…"
"Jade, please remember, he is your father."
"He's a close-minded bigot. If the KKK were still active around here, he'd probably have the scarlet robe of the Grand Poobah or whatever the hell it's called."
"Doesn't matter, Jade. I may not have Michelle but I have something better. My little girl is back." She hugged Jade as Tori looked on smiling widely, a tear leaking out of her brown eyes.
Mrs. West stood up and took both girls by the hand. "Now, you both go and…" She smiled knowingly, "Go make up."
"You sure, Mom? I could move back."
"We can talk about that later. But, regardless of where you live, you have to come see your brother and me."
"A lot, Jadey!"
Jade jugged her brother, kissing the top of his head. Then she pulled her mother into the embrace. "I'll come by tomorrow. Hey, kid, we'll see if you can whump this old woman…"
"Yay!" the boy yelled as he wrapped his arms around his sister and his mother.
Finally, pulling back, Jade said, "C'mon Vega. I gotta apologize to your mother."
As the two reunited lovers drove back to the Vega home, Tori said, "I saw a side to you I never expected. It was so sweet."
"Yeah. About that. Don't get too attached to the Sears Jade."
"The Sears Jade?"
"Yeah, the softer side…"
Tori laughed, "You're the anti-Keyser Söze."
"Vega! I'm impressed."
"Yeah, well… Here you're like Verbal Kint but at school. You're so Keyser…"
"Just don't let it get around," Jade warned. "The Kint part I mean. But feel free to compare me to Keyser. A lot. In public."
They laughed together, the last of the argument having dissipated like morning mist in the sun.
Once they were in the house, Jade immediately went over to Holly who was using her laptop on the kitchen table. "I'm…I'm sorry, Mrs. Vega. I…"
Holly stood and quickly pulled Jade into her arms. "It's okay. I understand. My daughters can be trying at times."
"Hey! I'm standing right here!" Tori protested, causing Jade and Holly to start laughing.
"Especially Tori," Jade added with her typical smirk.
"Still standing right here!"
Jade and Holly were laughing as they pulled Tori into the group hug.
"Okay, you two. You've had an emotionally trying day. Go to bed. And try to keep the noise down, okay?"
"No promised," Jade stated as she pulled Tori up to their room. 'Our room,' Jade thought happily.
Inside, Tori pulled Jade to her. "I was pretty upset, you know. But I always knew we'd be here…"
"Oh? You suddenly psychic?"
Rather than answer, Tori pulled Jade into a deep, passionate kiss. Jade responded with a desperation and need that excited Tori.
Finally, after the kiss, Tori said, "To answer your question, you don't think some swearing and lame insults are gonna tear me away from my soul mate, do you?"
"Soul mate?"
"Yup! We belong together. "
"You sure about that?" Jade asked.
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. So I guess that means we're stuck with each other," Tori said happily.
"Good. I wouldn't have it any other way," Jade replied before kissing the love of her life.
And then she learned that not all clichés are urban legends.
Make up sex can be the best sex…