The Clock Tower Muse
A troubled Susan Bones comes across the mysterious Blaise Zabini and an unlikely friendship forms,
pulling the two closer and out of the dark when they need it most
A/N: Hello!
Following is a one-shot written for a competition which I'll detail in a sec but feel free to skip the explanation and just read and review! T'would make me very happy!
So this has been written for "40 Characters, 20 Pop Songs Competition", which I came across on the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges forum. I had to pick two numbers between 1 and 40 for two people to write with, and one number between 1 and 20 for a song found within the UK poop charts or something or other.
Anyways, I ended up with Susan Bones and Blaise Zabini and the song Little Things by One Direction.
So hopefully some themes from that song come through... I'm not totally familiar with it so I'm not sure how closely or loosely based it is...
Side-note: for this scene I was thinking of the Clock Tower and its' respective courtyard in the playstation 2 game of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix .. just for setting and all :)
...
Susan opened her eyes to find herself in the Hospital Wing. Sunlight poured through the windows, glittering off of tables, bed frames and potion vials. There was no one else she could see, though two beds were hidden with portable curtains.
There was the sound of footsteps and Madam Pomfrey walked through the open doors. She saw Susan awake and came straight over.
"Feeling better?" the matron's voice sounded impatient, but it was trying to hide worry and pity.
"I suppose, what happened?" Susan asked, trying to sit up. The matron quickly pushed Susan back down so she lay flat against the uncomfortable white sheets.
"You fainted yesterday; right after lunch. It's a good thing you were walking with friends to your class, they caught you before you could fall in the Grand Staircase."
"Why did I faint? Did I break something?"
"No, you didn't break anything. But…" The matron sat down on a stool beside the bed, gently picked up Susan's hands, and looked her in the eyes. "It was a number of deficiencies that caused the your fainting. Many of your vitamin levels are at 40% of where they should be, but the lack of iron to take oxygen to your brain was the main cause."
Susan nodded, a sinking feeling filled her chest. It's all starting to catch up to her. All the food she'd been declining, pushing around on the plate or straight-out vanishing; it had depleted her.
"Now, dear, I have to ask you; is everything okay?" the matron looked so worried.
What are you worrying about me for? Go and find some poor soldier dying on the field, they need you, not me.
Susan blinked, forcing away the thought. "I'm fine. Can I go? It's Tuesday, isn't it? I've got classes to get to, I can't miss any more; this is OWL year." Once again, Susan tried to get up, but the matron held her down.
"I want you to stay here so I can get you back to normal." She turned strict once again, and rose from the chair, letting Susan's hands fall back to the bed. "I'll have the Healer-in-Training bring you some potions, please do not fight him whilst he administers them."
Susan watched the woman walk away, and disappear behind a curtain to see another patient. Susan counted to ten before quietly slipping out of the bed and leaving the Wing.
A clock in the Hallway told Susan that the final period of the day had just begun.
Potions, she thought, making her way to the common room, is it even worth going? By the time I get my things… Snape will just deduct points if I'm late… Might as well grab some Herbology notes and head outside for some revision…
On a bench in the Clock Tower Courtyard, Susan spread out her notes and began rereading the noted from last lesson, magical defences of plants in the British Isles.
Absorbed in her notes, and continuously cross-referencing her notes with those of the textbook, Susan did not at first notice the soft sounds of a guitar sweeping through the courtyard. It was only when her textbook slipped and she retrieved it and then paused in her studying to take a breath, did she hear the soft strumming coming from the Tower itself.
Intrigued, and feeling good about the notes she'd taken and fixed, she quickly packed up her things and went to investigate. Inside, she could hear the source above her. She quietly made her way up the rickety wooden steps, taking care to land with the front of her shoe so the back wouldn't thud loudly and disturb the music.
Three landings up, and the music changed. It was so sweet before; happy. Now it had turned deep and sad, almost nostalgic. Susan followed the sounds up another landing and found, by the large bell that rang at midday, a boy sitting against the wall with his eyes closed, his fingers moving expertly across the strings.
Susan made her way a little closer to find he was humming. It was a slightly different tune, complementing the music of his guitar. It was the vocals to his acoustic, but he wasn't actually singing.
Susan took a deep breath. "Hello."
The music stopped, and the boy quickly stood to see his audience. She recognised him as a boy in her year, a Slytherin; Blaise Zabini.
"What do you want?" He hissed. "Shouldn't you be in class?"
"I could ask you the same question." She pointed out, smiling. "That was beautiful music, what was it? Tchaikovsky?"
"That's the only composer you know, isn't it?" He laughed quietly, looking over her shoulder down the corridor. "No, it's my own composition."
"It's very nice, why don't you sing to it?" Susan slowly made her way over to the stairs' railing and lent on it. She had the feeling one quick move would bring up the boys defences and he would be gone forever.
He watched her move to the railing, and his eyes narrowed a little, his head listing slightly. "For the same reason that you hide in the shadows."
A shiver made its way down Susan's back. "Who says I'm hiding? What would you even know of hiding?" She whispered.
"I'm a Slytherin." He answered, putting the guitar down carefully and taking a step towards her. "What does a Hufflepuff know of hiding? Aren't you the light-seeking, right-as-rain people in this place?"
Susan shrunk a little but tried to not let the boy get to her. She quickly tried to take control of the conversation. "Honestly, though, why don't you sing? No one will hear you up here."
"You heard me." He pointed out taking another step closer.
"That was luck." She said quickly, her hands grasping her bag strap and twisting it tightly within her fists.
"Luck never hits just one person, once it arrives it hits many. By your logic I should leave before anyone else finds me."
"How does that even-?"
"Why aren't you in class?" He asked suddenly.
"I… wasn't feeling good." Susan replied, "And you?"
Blaise looked at her for a minute. "I take accelerated Ancient Runes, but it clashes with my timetable, so I end up having a couple frees."
"Sounds nice."
"It has its' perks." He shrugged.
The two remained in a strained yet somewhat comfortable silence, and Blaise soon made his way back to his guitar and began strumming out various melodies. Susan slid down the bannister and listened quietly. Eventually, he played the sad tune again; the one Susan had interrupted earlier. Though she was not one to make the same mistake twice, she couldn't help but speak up.
"Can you sing along to it?" She blurted, her voice catching on the first two syllables so that she appeared to have simply ordered him to sing.
Some of his fingers moved in surprise when her voice rang out, and the guitar made a strangled chord before he slapped his hand against the body and silenced the strings.
"It doesn't have lyrics. It's just a tune." He said.
"Make something up." Susan suggested, a smile appearing on her worn, thin face.
He looked at her, really looked, and suddenly she was aware of everything: her stiff hands still clenched around her bag strap; her spindly legs twisted beneath her crumpled posture as she leaned against the stair railing; her ankle digging into the hard, wooden floors; a tweak in her elbow as it barely touched the wood that supported her; and her neck, starting to strain in the position she'd held it to face Blaise as he sat comfortably with his guitar locked perfectly into his bent knees and arms.
"Why do you hide in the shadows?" He whispered.
Her cheeks flared and she quickly turned her head down, hearing her stuff neck crack loudly. She shook her head a little to clear her thoughts, and then stood abruptly.
"I don't hide in the shadows." Ever so slowly, she shrunk under his heavy gaze; it held her still whilst a voice in her mind screamed to run, to flee, before he said anything more, before he opened the scars.
But she couldn't move.
"You're afraid." He said. He had put the guitar beside him whilst she had been scrambling to her feet, and now he came over to her. He grabbed her wrists and pulled her slight frame forward into the light streaming through the open balcony.
"There," he smiled gently. "Now you're in the sun. Don't you feel better?"
She squirmed but couldn't escape his iron-like grip.
"Why are you struggling?" He asked, taking on a concerned expression but not relinquishing her wrists.
"Get off of me," She warned through gritted teeth. She may be a Hufflepuff, but she would never allow herself to become a poor damsel in distress.
"Susan." Blaise said, holding her arms still. "Stop struggling."
"Why are you so insistent?" She complained.
"Why are you so insistent?" He laughed. "Enjoy the sunlight, enjoy being yourself. Stop hiding."
"I'm not hiding." She retorted.
"Yes you are." He told her. "I can tell just from meeting you today. You keep to the shadows like you're afraid people will see you; but why are you afraid? You hold yourself so disdainfully; what are you so ashamed of?"
Susan's eyes widened. How could he see all of that after just meeting me? Is this what being a Slytherin means? They're the spies of the wizarding world, sneaking around, keeping an eye on every little detail.
And he could see it. He just wouldn't say it. He didn't need to.
He could see she hated herself, she could see it now, the way he kept her in that sunlight where she couldn't hide from herself or anyone else.
Her eyes had drifted down in thought, but now she looked back up at him defiantly. Before Susan could say anything, he took a sharp breath as he realised something he'd missed.
"Susan," he said slowly, "why were you in the Hospital Wing?"
"I… How do you know I was in the Hospital Wing?" She asked.
"You weren't in Charms or Herbology this morning, when we paired up for working there was always a group of three because someone was missing; you. And I remember hearing Hannah Abbott say something about visiting the Hospital at lunch but her friend wasn't awake yet, you yourself said you were sick, but you wouldn't have gotten out of classes all day without a valid reason, and a note from Madam Pomfrey would suffice. I did hear something about a Hufflepuff fainting yesterday, but what do I care of Hufflepuffs not handling stress with NEWTs or OWLs?"
His eyes darted back and forth as his mind whirled, and his voice, which had slowly risen through his revelation, fell to a normal volume and speed. "But Hannah's words… it makes sense. It must have been you." He looked down at me, his features scrunching in worry. Then, slowly, he repeated his question.
"Why were you in the Hospital Wing?"
Susan was speechless. How did he even think of all of that? Another Slytherin quality, perhaps? To not just see but to observe; to join all the little dots to find one ultimate conclusion.
"I… I fainted." She told him, not daring to look him in the eye. How does that even happen? I've known this boy for twenty, maybe thirty minutes, and he's talking to me about this?
"Why did you faint? It's early in the year, you can't already be stressing about classwork. Did something happen in your family? I don't think so, you aren't visibly stressed now. Not enough for a family matter, at least. What's troubling you, Susan?"
He knew the answer, she could see it in his eyes.
Susan was speechless. She took a moment to breathe and attempt to formulate a reply. "I… Hang on. Who do you think you are, questioning me like this? You have no right, none at all. You don't know me! Leave me alone!"
She tried once more to break free from his grip but couldn't.
"I may not know you that well, Susan Bones," Blaise admitted, "But you remind me of my sister."
Susan raised an eyebrow.
"Not in looks, no." He laughed a little, trying to hide the sorrows of his mind. "She had skin a little lighter than mine but much darker than yours, and her black hair was always in long braids. She loved braiding her hair. She was skinny, too. But she didn't think so. According to her note, me pinching her in our little games meant to her that she still had fat everywhere, and she had to get rid of it, no matter what. Everyone else knew how skinny she was, and mother was always trying to get her to eat more, but Aurora took it one step further."
Blaise looked deep into Susan's eyes, pleading with her to see reason. Deep down, he didn't want to tell her the story at all, he couldn't speak of it; that would make it all the more real.
"She didn't stop at starving herself from meals. She took to magical means. She would try to spell her skin to be tighter around her bones. She attempted to vanish the muscles in her legs once, thinking they were no more than fat, and was in St Mungo's for four days whilst they were magically regrown.
"She took potions that would stop her body from storing fat, she would sneak into my room and take the Galleons I had earned delivering Prophets, and would floo to a shop called Prewett Potions, a shop in Knockturn Alley that I hope you never have to see, and they'd give her numerous potions. It was all Dark Magic, magic with a price. Not a physical price; a mental price. The potions drove her insane."
"I never-" Susan began, but Blaise didn't stop for her.
"We found out too late. She was on the edge of sheer madness. She would be shouting and arguing at the drop of a pin, and threw away all of her 'worthless things', inherited treasures or magical rarities we'd come across in travels, all because the voices told her to. We took her to St Mungo's and she was there for two weeks.
"We weren't allowed to see her; it was part of the process they used to get defective or dangerous potions out of the system. We finally got an owl to come at once. We were ecstatic, thinking she was better and would be able to come home. Thinking she'd finally seen reason."
Blaise stopped. His voice had begun to shake and his eyes become watery, but no tears fell.
"Blaise," Susan whispered. Susan had to know what happened. She'd never known urgency like this. "Blaise, where is your sister?"
"She's gone." He said; his voice barely audible. "She hung herself with bed sheets tied to the metal framework of her bed."
He released Susan's hands and fell to the floor, his entire body shaking as he cried and called for his sister; his Aurora, his guardian, his best friend.
Susan kneeled beside him, making poor attempts of consoling the grief-ridden boy. She was crying, too, but held it in for Blaise's sake. He didn't need someone crying with him, he needed someone to help pull himself together. Just like she did.
Eventually, Blaise stopped sobbing, and rolled over on to his back, his head rolled slightly to look at Susan.
"Sorry." He said.
"It's ok." She replied, lying down beside him. "How long ago was it? When she... left."
Blaise was silent, and Susan wasn't sure he'd answer until he finally said "Summer before last."
A whole year... he hadn't moved on very well. Understandable, Susan didn't know how big his family was, but his grief was strong, Aurora may have been all he had.
"Sometimes..." Blaise mused, "I just... can't believe she's gone. You know?"
Susan had lost more family members than she had left, but she'd never known them very well. It was just her parents and her father's sister left, as it had been for a long time.
"I think," Susan began, not sure how to console him. "I think you just have to find a friend. Keep them close. You can't ever replace your sister, but your sister has... gone... and you can't dwell on the past. It's good to remember her, but not wish for her return. Keep her memory alive and with you always, but you have to let her go, and be your own person without her."
Her advice seemed to strike a chord. "Always." he said with conviction, before closing his eyes.
The two sank quietly into their own thoughts. Blaise didn't even pick his guitar back up, until the bell rang.
The beautiful silence they shared was shattered with doors banging open throughout the castle, students chatted away happily another school day ended. Footsteps echoed up the tower, most likely from students returning from Care of Magical Creatures or Herbology. Voices full of laughter carried through the halls, and the screeches of various winged creatures were heard as their owners came bearing treats.
Susan blinked, her mind coming back to the present. She had better get back to the Common Room, better yet to the Hospital Wing. If she had any luck left, maybe her disappearance will have gone unnoticed?
"I'll see you around?" Susan asked. Her head remained against the wooden floors as she turned to her new friend, and he opened his eyes to look at her. Within them, she saw him slowly admitting defeat; that this nice quiet moment was indeed at an end.
"That'd be nice." He smiled up at her, and such an earnest smile it was. "Take care of yourself, yeah?" Susan swore she'd never seen a Slytherin act so nicely, so like a Hufflepuff; it was strange.
She nodded and told him "I'll stay here."
She then headed for the corridor on the current landing, it would take her to a stone staircase that let out near the kitchens and get her back to the Common Room faster than through the Clock Tower Courtyard. She needed to drop her things off in her room before she went back to the Hospital Wing.
She had taken only a few steps before the area flooded with other students. She turned to take a last look at Blaise.
He had sat up and moved back against the far wall, one arm protectively curled around his guitar as students walked past him, but he saw her and gave a cheery wave before the two were separated by the waves of students milling about.
Susan continued on her way, happy for the first time in a long time as she swing her bag back and forth to the rhythm of her footsteps.
I can't keep doing this. I can't starve and expect to live anymore.
I won't follow in Aurora's footsteps. I can take the concoctions Madame Pomfrey has waiting for me; they'll make me better.
What's wrong with not being a stick anyway? It's better than dying. I guess I can admit to myself I'm not as big as I was before Hogwarts anyway, and now is definitely time to stop worrying about it.
I will get better.
Hufflepuff's don't give up. We're not always the strongest, the brightest, the bravest, but we get through everything all the same. We're the house of hard work, determination and persistence.
And I will get through this, and I'll come out better on the other side.
For Blaise. For Aurora. For mum and dad.
For me.
...
A/N: Ta-da! What did you think? Was it believable? Did the characterisation fit what we know of the two? Please let me know, I'd be very grateful :)