Pokémon: The story of how Ash's adventure really went!
To the theme of the first Pokémon Theme Song:
I wanna fuck, all the girls. And get all of that ass!
To fuck them is my real test, to tame them is my cause.
I will travel across the land, fucking all these girls!
Each Pokémon, to help me out, and give them my babies!
Pokégirls, gotta fuck ém all! (Suck my dick.)
You know that you'll love it (Pokégirls!)
OH! Your my girlfriend, with an ass you can't defend!
Pokégirls, gotta fuck ém all! (An ass so tight!)
My dick is inside of you!
You ask me and I'll fuck you!
Pokégirls!
Gotta fuck ém all!
Gotta fuck ém all!
Pokégirls!
Chapter 1: Pokémon, I fuck you!
(Based off Pokémon, I choose you!)
Ash Ketchum, a 9 year old boy, was in his room. Tomorrow, he would turn 10, letting him be a Pokémon Trainer. He had just finished watching a porno, two lesbian Pokémon Porn Stars were going at it, and he jacked off to it, until he heard his mom come through the front door. He changed the channel to Professor Oak's show, where he talked about the three starter Pokémon, Charmander, Squirtle, and Bulbasaur. He picked up his Poké Ball-shaped clock, and said, "I declare to the Pokémon of the world, that I, Ash Ketchum, will be a Pokémon Master!" Just then, his mom walked in.
"Ash Ketchum, it's 10:00, you should be sleeping!" she said. It scared Ash, and he threw the Poké Ball, but luckily his mom, Delia, caught it. Ash made a sad face and leaned on a chair.
"Aw, but Mom, I get my Pokémon Liscense tomorrow, I can't sleep." he said, with a sad voice. Delia just sighed.
"Well, if you can't sleep, at least watch this." She changed the channel to an educational show about Pokémon. "When this is over, I want you in bed, do you hear me?"
"Yes, mom!" He said. He waited 5 minutes for her to go to bed. He changed it back to a porno, and continued to jack off. When he finally went to bed, he had a wet dream involving him and his mom fucking each other. Then he started dreaming about his different choices of starter Pokémon. His clock fell into his hand, and he accidentaly threw it in his sleep, breaking it. When he woke up, he realized he was late. "Oh no! What time is it?" He ran down the street, trying to get to Professor Oak's Lab. When he got there, he saw Gary, Professor Oak's grandson, surrounded by a group of people.
"Gary, Gary, he's our man! If he can't do it, no one can!" A bunch of cheerleaders were chanting.
"Thank you! Thank you! I promise that I, Gary Oak, will become the greatest Pokémon Master!" He walked off with everyone following him. Professor Oak looked around the corner and saw Ash.
"So you decided to show up after all!" Professor Oak joked. Ash jumped over to him.
"Where's my Pokémon, Professor, huh? Do I get a Pokémon?" He asked.
"Pokémon? You look like you're ready for bed, not Pokémon Training." He said, noticing Ash's pajamas. He never changed.
"Oh, uh, sorry. You see, I got kind of messed up, and I forgot to change." He explained.
"Oh, very well. Follow me, let's see what Pokémon we can get you." Ash and Professor Oak walked into the lab, where three Poké Balls laid in a table. "Have you decided on a Pokémon?'
"It took a lot of thinking, but I think I finially chose my Pokémon! Because my Pokémon will be... Squirtle!" He picked up the ball, but it opened up as an empty ball.
"I'm afraid someone already picked that one." Professor Oak said.
"Well no problem, because my Pokémon will just have to be... Charmander!" He said, revealing another empty ball.
"I'm afraid a trainer earlier than you got that one as well."
"Well, it's better than nothing, but it's OK. Because my Pokémon will be... Bulbasaur!" He opened another empty ball. He groaned in exhaustion.
"The early bird gets the worm, or in this case, the Pokémon..." Professor Oak quietly said.
"Aw, is that all? Does that mean I don't get a Pokémon?" Ash hopefully asked.
"Well, I do have another one, but it is quite troublesome, I'm not sure you can handle it." He said.
"Oh, please let me have it Professor Oak!" Ash pleaded.
"OK, well..." He pressed a button, and a ball appeared, and Professor Oak opened the ball. A Pikachu came out, and it was fingering itself.
"Ugh..." Ash groaned. Once Pikachu realized he was out of the ball, it stood up. "Aw, cool! It's a Pikachu." He picked it up, and saw it's wet vagina. He touched it to get a better look, but it just made Pikachu mad. Pikachu thunder shocked Ash and Professor Oak.
"It's got an 'electric' personality..." Oak said.
"Yeah, I see what you mean..." Ash said slowly.
When Ash and Oak walked outside, Ash's mom was standing there with a crowd cheering behind her.
"Mom, what's going on here?" Ash asked embarassed.
"We came to congratulate you on your adventure!" She looked down and saw Pikachu. "Oh, is that your Pokémon? It's so cute! But... it's a little weird for your Pokémon to be outside of it's ball."
Ash realized Pikachu was never put in it's ball. "Oh right. Here Pikachu, get back into your ball." He threw the ball at Pikachu, but Pikachu just threw it back. Pikachu kept throwing its ball at Ash, almost like they were playing catch. "Uh, I guess it doesn't like being in a ball."
"Oh, well. honey. Here's your Bag, I packed you some clothes, some clean Underwaer, some Rubber Gloves, some..."
"Mom!" Ash interupted. "I'm a grownup now, I don't need you to baby me anymore.
Delia got a little sad. "Oh, I know honey. I just can't beleive your leaving already! But you've got a Pikachu, and it's so cute!" She said while picking it up. Pikachu shocked everybody, except Oak, who was hiding behind a pillar.
"You might want to keep those rubber gloves." Oak told Ash.
"And why's that?
"Because rubber conducts electricity!"
After Pikachu stopped, Delia told Ash, "Don't forget to change your underwear everyday." before collapsing.
Ash put on the gloves, and tied Pikachu to a rope because it wouldn't walk with Ash. Ash was dragging Pikachu down the road, while Pikachu was trying to stop.
"Why the fuck won't you listen to me, or go back into your ball?" Ash yelled at Pikachu. Ash's Pokédex started talking.
"Some Pokémon don't like Poké Balls because they don't like confined spaces."
"Oh, is that it. Well, how about this?" He took off the gloves and untied Pikachu. "There! This shows I have complete trust. Now will you listen to me?" Pikachu just ran off, and climbed a tree, Ash saw a Pidgey. "Wow, a Pidgey!" He took out his Pokédex.
"Pidgey: This Pokémon is extremely easy to catch, making it one of the top choices for Pokémon Trainers."
"Come on Pikachu, let's catch this Pidgey!" But Pikachu stayed in the tree. "Fine, I don't need your help, I can catch it all on my own, you lazy bitch." He grabbed a Pokéball, and threw it at the Pidgey, who just knocked it away. Pikachu laughed. Ash grabbed a rock and threw it at the Pidgey, who flew up and used Sand Attack. Ash fell to the ground. "Whoa, what the hell was that?" Pikachu laughed, and Ash noticed a Rattata, who was in Ash's bag. "Hey! Get out of there!"
"Rattata: These Pokémon like to steal food from dumb-ass Trainers."
Ash realized what the Pokédex said. "So I'm a dumb ass...?" Pikachu fell laughing, at Ash just got angry. He saw another Pokémon. "I got you now Pidgey." He picked up a rock,and threw it. It hit the Pokémon on the head. When it turned around, it turned out to be a Spearow. "Uh-Oh." He scanned it.
"Spearow: This Pokémon is much more agressive than Pidgey. Making it mad is something a dip-shit trainer would do."
"Why did I have to get a Pokédex that's a complete douche?" He thought.
It flew past Ash, and started attacking Pikachu. "Hey, leave Pikachu alone! He didn't do anything to you!"
"Wild Pokémon get jealous over owned Pokémon and will attack them for no reason."
"Oh" Ash gasped. Spearow knocked Pikachu off the tree and Ash caught him. Ash looked behind him, and saw a whole bunch of Spearow coming. "OK Pikachu, I have a plan... RUN!" They ran until they reached a dead-end. Ash saw no other choice, so they jumped into the river, traveling with the current. A little ways down, a red-head girl was masturbating, while waiting on a fish to bite her fishing pole. Right when she was about to cum, her pole started to shake.
"Ah, a bite!" She said, pulling up her shorts. She pulled on the fishing rod, and pulled Ash and Pikachu out. When she did, it ripped Ash's pants off, and he wasn't wearing underwear. When he saw the red-head, he got instantly hard. "Oh, it's just a fucking boy. Oh, and a Pokémon! Are you OK?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He said. not realizing his pants were off.
"Not you dumb ass! The Pokémon!"
Ash put his pants back on, and he saw the Spearow coming back. "AH, they're coming back!" He grabbed Pikachu, and put him in the red-head's bikes basket. He got on and took off.
"Hey, that's my bike!" She screamed.
"I'll return it someday!" He said driving off. The girl chased after him.
"Hey, get back here you bitch!"
Ash and Pikachu were driving really fast, when Ash hit a rock and he and Pikachu flew off the bike. "Ah, shit!" He yelled. The Spearow came diving at Pikachu, but Ash blocked Pikachu, and yelled, "Hey assholes! If you want Pikachu, you'll have to go through me!" Pikachu started to like Ash after this, so he got up, and jumped into the air. He did a powerful electric shock, weakening it and hitting Ash. It was so powerful, it fried all the Spearow, and destroyed the bike. Ash and Pikachu were laying face-to-face, and Ash thanked Pikachu. He got up to take Pikachu to the next town, where he would heal Pikachu. On the way Pikachu licked Ash, and Ash got all happy.
-WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? READ Pokémon: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED EPISODE 2 TO FIND OUT!-