This is the third ficlet in a series of 5 exploring the immediate reactions of the main characters to Kate's death. The first is called Blood (from Tony's POV), the second Revenge (from Gibbs' POV) and this. The next one will be from Ducky's POV and the last from Abby's.
Lucky
The shots were ear shattering and seemed to be coming from all directions, later McGee would realise that it wasn't like the movies, the shot that had killed Kate was just like all the others, there was nothing special about it until it hit her. Not that he had known at the time, there were probably several more shots fired even after Kate's lifeless body fell to the ground heavily, not that McGee liked to think about that.
The first he'd known that something was wrong was a few minutes after the last shot was fired when Gibbs appeared next to him. After checking that he was alright he had been about to move away when a look in Gibbs' eyes told him to ask the question that was forming in the back of his mind.
"Where are Tony and Kate? Are they okay?" Gibbs didn't answer for a moment.
"Tony's on the roof he's okay. That damn terrorist is back though, he shot Kate" Gibbs didn't wait for McGee's reaction, he didn't want to see the horror that he'd seen in Tony's eyes again.
McGee didn't know what to think. He hadn't known Kate all that long, though he knew he liked her, and they were already friends. Yet he found himself more disturbed that it could have easily been him that had died, something he had never consciously accepted before. It was as if he couldn't fully comprehend that his friend was dead. He couldn't fully realise that he would never hear her speak or smile, or slap him on the back of the head again. Then he found himself feeling guilty for being so self centred. Kate was dead though, nothing could change that.
He knew he needed to see her so that he could understand, but halfway up to the roof he found himself turning back down. He didn't want to remember her like that. If he saw her body on the cold rooftop he would always think of her as a victim, not as his friend. Instead he found himself downstairs arguing with the feds, not that it was an unusual occurrence, but he just didn't feel like it. He'd just lost a teammate and a friend. And all he could think was that he was lucky it wasn't him. He told himself that all the things he wanted to do but hadn't done, he would do. Kate had missed out on so much of life, and the same thing could happen to him at anytime and he was going to make the most of any time he had left.