Disclaimer: sigh … sadly no… I don't own FMA. But if I did then I would kill off Winry! HA! …….sorry, but I just don't like ANY Winry pairings. So yeah…

ON WITH THE STORY!

"YOU STUPID PALMTREE-HEADED CROSS DRESSER! GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOU'RE". Lust smacked the fiery red head in the face. Lust glared at Birdy, but it wasn't because she was about to yell some "vulgar" language in front of the oh-so-wonderful children of the world, but instead it was because she really didn't know what else to do at the moment. I mean seriously, what else goes better with a slap in the face than an evil glare? Nothing that's what! They r like peanut butter and jelly! They just work together!

ANYWAYS, ahem back to the story.

"Birdy!" yelled Lust. Birdy whipped around ready to hurt anyone who got in her way right now. "What?" "Don't yell that stuff!" "And why not?"

Lust pulled up the upper half of her dress because it was falling down a little too low, then she crossed her arms over her chest; trying to look as mad as possible. "because… I said so!"

"right…"

Envy snuck up behind the unsuspecting Lust and Birdy with an evil smirk on his face, and a fully loaded "soaker 360" water gun in arms. "Surpriiiiiiiiseeee!" envy leaped up from behind Birdy and soaked her and Lust fully from head to toe.

Birdy was now thoroughly mad. Nobody does that to me and gets away with it!

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Birdy leaped up above envy's head with ferocious bear claws and fangs. This terrifying sight caused envy's hair to do the unthinkable!

His hair stuck out even more than it usually does!

Envy screamed a girly-ish scream. He stroked his hair with waterfall tears in his eyes. "YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!"

Envy stood up with a determined look in his eyes, pointed at Birdy with his index finger, and accusingly said: "You ruined my hair you fiened! Prepare to die!" but strangely enough when envy said this, his lip movements were off from the words like a bad samurai movie.

Lust was sprinting around the yard frantically screaming for them to stop and flailing her arms about wildly. But again, really just because there wasn't anything else to do at the moment that seemed to fit. Screaming like a damsel in distress at the moment seemed best. So she did.

With the same expression, Birdy replied fiercly: "I accept your challenge!" but again, just like a bad samurai movie. -'

THE BATTLE WAS ON!

Envy, who was still caught up in the moment said to Birdy with his chest puffed up: "Choose your weapon!"

Envy was very impressed with himself. And so were Lust and Birdy, for they were both clapping with wide eyes.

Envy was trying to make himself look much bigger and more intimidating than he really was. But this was very hard, considering the fact that Envy's deepest, darkest secret is that the thing that scares him more than fluffy pillows, Lust's boobs, and anything with the color pink in it, are cute little teddy-bears! Just the thought of them terrified him!

No! Envy thought to himself. Don't think about it! Thinking about it… no! Think happy thoughts! La, la, la, laaa!

But no matter how hard our spikey-haired homunculous tried, he thought about them.

Envy was now not only scaring himself with the thought of teddy bears, but everyone else who was standing around him. Why? Because in his attempt to stop his very evil mind from getting the best of him, he was now squirming around on the ground like a sanke. And his green hair not only made him look more like a snake, but made it look like there were many, MANY different snakes coming out of his head.

During Envy's very entertaining emotional break down, Wrath came skipping up the street very merrily with his eyes closed. Then… he tripped over Envy. Partly because he had his eyes closed, and partly because his denseness is sooooo high and his sense of presence is soooooooo low that he didn't even notice anyone there. In fact, he thought that he was on his way to candy land.

Wrath opened his eyes and looked curiously at envy. Then he looked curiously at Birdy. Then curiously at Envy. Then back to Birdy. He was curious to what was going on, and why he was not in candy land yet. Oh yes, he was very curious.

After several more minutes of looking at Birdy then Envy, Wrath came up with a brilliant conclusion!

In fact, this conclusion that Wrath has come up with was so brilliant that he just felt that the world should know! No, had to know!

"I have a conclusion!" Wrath said excitedly. Actually, Wrath was sooo excited that he did the unthinkable! ………..

………. He pointed his index finger at Envy! horror movie sound effects and many loud screams are heard in the distance.

"In fact, this conclusion that I! Wrath have come up with is soooooo brilliant that I shall share it with you while I point my index finger at Envy!"

"So then what is it then?" asked Lust.

Lust had grown bored with running around screaming that she decided to join Birdy, Wrath, and Envy. But with that very captive speech that Wrath had made, she too wanted to know what this "brilliant conclusion" that Wrath had come up with was.

"As I was saying before I was oh-so-ever rudely interrupted, my brilliant conclusion is… drum roll please!"

"drdrdr!" Birdy pathetically attempted to imitate the sound of a drum roll for this ever-so dramatic and memorable moment that would ONE DAY GO DOWN IN HISTORY. But avast, she failed.

"My conclusion is… that…"

Wrath looked around slyly with an evil grin. Oh yes, this day shall go down in history as the day that I! WRATH, had come up with a brilliant idea! Wrath thought to himself.

"ENVY HAS BEEN BREAK DANCING DOING THE SNAKE! YOU CANNOT BEAT ME, ENVY!"

Wrath immediately fell onto the ground and tried to beat Envy by doing his version of the snake.

Lust: "Birdy! Quick! We need music!"

Birdy: "I'm way ahead of ya!"

Birdy whipped out her purple flowery radio and turned on "Peanut Butter Jelly Time."

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" Lust jumped up and down enthusiastically singing: "Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat. Do the peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly with a football cap!" For this was Lust's favorite song ever since she practiced learning the lyrics so she could win the "best children's vocalist award" down at the local McDonalds. Her boyfriend at the time (now her ex-boyfriend) was Ronald McDonald the clown. He was one of the judges. But even so, she still lost.

"Go Wrath! Go Wrath! Go Wrath! Go Wrath! It's your birthday! Not really, party anyway!" Birdy was really getting into this now! And obviously, the whole "water-gun-samurai-fight-thingy" had been long forgotten.

During all the commotion, Sloth came up to see what was going on. Partly because she was interested, and partly because she wandered what could possibly be so exciting to people that wasn't her.

As soon as she walked up, a huge sweatdrop formed over her head.

"What are you guy's doing?" she asked Birdy.

"Dancing!" she replied with starry-eyed eyes happily. She was very caught up in everything.

"Ummm… right…"

Sloth had now decided that even though she desperately wanted to join the dance contest and knew that she could beat them both, that this scene was waaay too uncool for anyone of her friends from her weekly book club to see her at.

If the women from the book club saw me dancing like that and getting jiggy with my bad self like that, then they might ban me from the book club! And then I may never get to finish reading "Junie B. Jones and the Stinky, Smelly School Bus"!

"No! Oh I mustn't!" Sloth turned her tear-streaked face in the other direction towards the setting sun (even though it was only 2:00 in the afternoon) so nobody could see her crying. And also to make a really cool exit, in case anyone from the book club just so happened to see her there at the moment.

"I must not join!"

Then…….

……………..

…she went running off down the street, never to be heard from or seen again….

Or at least until dinnertime rolled around.

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

"… curse…pant…youpant… ENVY!" After 48 hours of break dancing in the front yard, Wrath was exhausted. Not even he could keep that up.

"You may have won today! But I sware I'll get my revenge someday! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Wrath's voice faded away as he ran somewhere downtown.

Birdy: "What could he have meant by that Lust?"

Greed: "That is a very good question, my dear Birdy! But I have and even better question! Not what he meant, but what he is planning on doing!"

Lust sighed. Was she surrounded by morons or what? "Greed, that's the same thing… And since when did you even get here?"

Greed: "Get where?"

Birdy: "HERE!"

"OH MY!" gasped Greed. "How did I get here!" Greed looked around his surroundings.

Hmmm… large house, graveyard, a giant red slide, bird bath, toddler swing set… yet this looks so familiar… but from where?

Birdy and Lust just stared in amazement at Greed. How could someone forget their own house?

"Greed… you kinda live here…" Birdy walked up to greed waving one hand around with a sweatdrop over her head.

"Oh… I do?"

"Yes" Lust said impatiently "you do."

"Oh right! In any case!" Greed jumped up onto the top of his red corvette.

"Greed, get off the car." Lust was getting tired of this.

"No! And you can't make me!"

"Oh yes… I CAN."

"CAN'T!"

"CAN!"

"Just try it!"

"DON'T MAKE ME TELL HOHO WHAT U'VE BEEN DOING EVER NIGHT WITH THE NEIGHBORS DOG, SHEILA!"

Greed jumped back onto the ground with a look of defeat.

"I'M IN REHAB FOR THAT!"

Lust smirked.

Greed sighed.

"…okay, so maybe you can…" Dang. How could she know about that? I mean, it was only a one night stand!

"Hate to stop this argument, but I think we should really figure out why envy is still squirming on the ground, and what wrath meant." Birdy stepped in between the two fighting siblings and probably said the most sensible thing in several days.

Lust: "She's right."

"hmmm…" The three of them stood on the sidewalk using the best of their brainpower to help figure out what in the world could possibly be wrong with envy. Although this wasn't very helpful since none of them really had any brainpower. In fact, two out of three of them couldn't spell the word "brain power", and Greed didn't even know what that word meant.

"SCREEEECH!"

Lust and Birdy turned around to see who just arrived, while Greed was still overusing his brain.

And WHO other should it be than…….. drum roll

………. EDWARD ELRIC!

Edo walked up cautiously to the squirming Envy.

"ummm… what is he doing?" edo asked. Not that he really cared, but he was very worried that Envy might have rabies. And if so, then he was even more worried that he might catch them.

Birdy shrugged her shoulders. "That's just it, we don't know."

Edo leaned in closer to Envy out of curiosity

Envy: "T-teddy…b-b-bears…."

Edo: "Teddy…bears…..?"

Birdy: "What did he say, Edo-kun?"

Edo: "Something about teddy bears."

Greed's face turned pasty white. "Oh no. It's happening again!" Greed shuddered in fear.

Everyone turned to Greed and said in unison: "What's happening again?"

Greed pulled out a microphone and a soft piano could be heard playing in the background. "Well, it happened a couple of years ago when we were at an amusement park! There was a giant pink teddy bear who kept following us around. Envy was already scarred enough by the laughter of the children and the colorful lights and sounds, but this just made it worse! As envy was sitting down to eat his cotton candy, this giant pink teddy bear came up behind him and… it's too horrible for words! sniffles He… he… he… HE SHOVED ENVY'S FACE INTO THE COTTON CANDY!"

"KYAAAAAH!" Edo screamed in fear. Everyone looked at him in surprise.

"What?" Edo pressed the tips of his index fingers together and looked down shyly. "It sounded… scary… that's all…"

Birdy: "But what does THAT have to do with this?"

Greed: "I was getting to that! ahem anyways, because of this incident, not only has Envy had a deep fear of children and carnivals, he has also been terrified of teddy bears ever since!"

Lust: "Nooo!"

Greed: "Yes!"

Birdy: "Hmmm... so, you mean that he might be having some kind of a panic attack?"

Greed: "Of course!"

Spap! Birdy smacked her fist into the palm of her left hand. "So... we should probably snap him out of it or something. But how?"

"Hmmm..." The brunette, the short blonde boy (edo: "Hey! Don't call me 'short'! author: "well you ARE! edo: "AM NOT!" author: smacks edo on the head with mighty-mighty spatula. "shutup! I'M the author, and whatever I say goes in this story!" edo: "..." pouts in a corner.) and two homunculous stood on the front lawn trying to figure out ways to snap envy out of his panic attack. But... well... that's not much of a comforting thought, now is it?

Will Birdy, Lust, Edo, and Greed ever figure out how to snap Envy out of his current mental state? And what did Wrath mean? Find out... well... sometime in the next chapter! COMING SOON! Or not... I don't know... whenever I feel like it... don't count on it...

obviously it's to be continued, you stupid dipsticks!

to everyone who is, wants, or THINKS that they r going to write me a flame about the ending, DON'T BOTHER. This is obviously not the end, MEANING (for everyone that's an idiot) that I'll ADD MORE LATER. I'll repeat:

I'LL ADD MORE LATER.

Again:

I'LL ADD MORE LATER.

…………

…………………..like u can get rid of me that easily?

………pssh! Yeah right! As if!