I wrote this on a whim, whilst under heavy influence of many questionable things. Enjoy... if you can.
Chapter One: Wish Fulfilment
The seventeen-year-old exhaled, a deep layer of satisfaction coated his voice.
His glistening body glowed under the red lighting. Two stunning ladies lay next to him, both stark naked, mouths agape and panting from exertion. The aftershocks continually rocked their body, symptoms of the ecstasy they had just experienced. With every pant, every spasm, his smile widened and his ego grew.
"You girls are pretty good. I haven't met many women who could use their tongues like that. Hittin' all the right spots," Jaune chuckled as he pushed himself into a sitting position. As his gaze fell on the girls, he noticed their quivering legs, a telling sign that he had pleased them more than they had expected. "Well, they aren't gonna be walking anytime soon."
"Y-You're welcome to c-come back, any t-time," one of them stuttered. Jaune had no idea how to distinguish the two, all he knew is that they had differing eyeliners, one red and one blue. The girl who just spoke wore the blue eyeliner. His lips curled as he gently laid a hand on her soft backside. He felt her shudder at his warm touch.
"Oh, I will. Twins are every mans' dream," He climbed out of bed and threw on his limited edition Pumpkin Pete's hoodie and a pair of dark charcoal jeans. Finally, he strapped his trusty ancestral sword -that was handed down to him and clearly not stolen- onto his back and holstered his two revolvers, 'Stranger Danger' and 'That's Not Candy'. Admittedly, he was quite proud of the two names, it gave them an air of menace and struck fear into the heart of all evil. Though, people did give him strange looks when he told them the names of his weapons. He ignored the looks, knowing that his creativity for naming things was unrivaled.
"Alrighty," Jaune wondered to the nearest mirror and ran a hand through his hair. "Name's Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, and ladies love it all over their faces," he winked at his reflection. He turned around once more to see that the twins had managed to sit up. As his hand opened the door, he stopped and blew them a kiss.
"You girls play nice now! But not too nice… Red, you were a bit tight. Blue it's your job to loosen her up. I shall return at, uh," Jaune paused for a moment as the girls found themselves hypnotized by his jaw-dropping form. "...some point in the near future." Jaune finished before he left the room. The two twins looked at each other, a small grin appearing on their faces.
"Well you heard him," Blue said before she pounced on her sister. Their moans and mewls of delight echoed throughout the hallways. The door reopened and a hand slipped through with a scroll. A bright flash lit up the room shortly before the door closed again. The twins were so immersed with each other that they hadn't even noticed. Jaune stood outside the door staring at the photo.
"Oh baby…" he licked his lips as he photoshopped a certain face onto the two of them. A certain mascot of a particular cereal. After he was finished, he glanced over his artwork a proud smile; compared to his other masterpieces, it was one of the better works and second only to his remaster of Velvet. Unfortunately, he had yet to unearth the perfect candidate. He caressed the screen with a gentle touch, much like one would a lover.
"Easily one of my best."
He pocketed his scroll as he skipped down the hallway towards the thundering music emanating from the club below. Dancing down the stairwell with a carefree smile gracing his features, he made it to the entrance, pushing the doors open, he headed straight to the bar. He had gotten slightly sidetracked when he had arrived here; though who could blame him, who could ignore twins? Even now he had to stop himself from going back, ripping off his pants and taking them for another ride.
"Heya! Junior!" he called out as he approached. Turns out the guy was being manhandled by some blonde girl with a chip on her shoulder. Jaune felt phantom pains as the girl's hand tightened around Junior's prized family jewels. A frown wiped away the happy-go-lucky smile on Jaune's face. He stalked up to the girl and forcefully put himself in between the two. It was his duty as a fellow male to save his comrade from the hands of an angry woman!
"Whoa lady! Hands off the cream carriage!" she let go immediately when the suicidal blonde placed himself between her and potential information. Junior immediately crumpled to the ground, groaning like a beached seal. Jaune felt huge amounts of sympathy and bent down to pat the guy on the shoulder. Jaune even decided to cut his fellow male some slack and hand him his own limited edition Pumpkin Pete's handkerchief to wipe away his pained tears.
"Who the hell are you?" the girl snapped. Jaune whipped up to face the girl. She had bright red eyes and long, shining blonde hair. She looked like she was caging a beast, trying to stop it from escaping and murdering everything in sight. However, her features were interesting and strikingly familiar to a woman he had met in the past. In fact, she looked almost too similar to one of the people he was trying to find.
"Now it's rather rude to demand someone's name like that, missy," Jaune chastised. The girl's jaw tightened as the boy held up his hands in a surrender motion, stopping her from doing anything rash before he had a chance to finish. "-but, being the gentleman that I am, I will give you my name. Jaune Arc," he smiled. The blonde relaxed slightly, her shoulders dropping as a result, however, her frustration was still showing.
"Yang," she snapped in response. Jaune politely bowed, causing the buxom blonde's eyes to raise. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it. Her nose wrinkled when she saw what was on the page. It was a crude drawing of a girl with multicolored hair holding, what could only be described as an umbrella. The blonde was also in the picture, but with his pants around his ankles and the girl was shoving her umbrella right down his-
"Have you seen this woman?" he asked seriously, interrupting her train of thought. Yang just stared at the picture in shock and slight horror. It took few seconds of silence for him to realize that he had pulled out the wrong picture. He quickly folded it back up and slipped it back into his pocket, coughing slightly into his hand as he attempted to play off the embarrassment.
"Sorry, that's a present. Hold on a second," he fished around in his pockets and pulled out another picture. "Ah! This is it. Have you seen this woman?" he asked. She examined the picture, and to her shock, the woman in the picture was naked, in bed with the blonde boy in front of her. However, this woman was the same one as the one from the picture back home. The black haired woman in the picture was frowning at the camera while Jaune had his arm wrapped around her neck, grinning and giving a thumbs up.
"That's…!" Yang's voice was abruptly cut off by the stunning recognition of the woman in the picture. Slowly, molten hot rage started to course through her veins, her entire body shaking with fury. The oblivious male sighed in relief.
"Oh thank god!" Jaune looked ecstatic that she had recognized the woman, oblivious to the anger building within the blonde. "You have no idea how long I've been looking! She was an incredible lay, let me tell you! She has this technique with her tongue that is just to die for! Oh man, she even liked to take it in the a-" he was cut off as he suddenly found himself flying through the air, and crash landing on the dance floor. The music screeched to a halt as he picked himself up from his daze.
"What hit me…?" he wondered absently before he shook away the buzzing in his head. "I feel like Glynda dropped a truck on me… should I really apologize for that though? How was I supposed to know she didn't like the taste of cu-" he was once again cut off when Yang crashed into the dance floor, ripping up the ground around her. Her hair was lit ablaze, and her eyes were glowing red.
"I'm going to rip you to pieces!" she spat, promising all the pain in the world. Jaune just looked at her with a vague, bored look on his face.
"Whoa! What's your damage lady?" he asked. Yang exploded forward, fists ablaze. Jaune dodged to the side, shifting his feet as he shuffled backwards. "Whoa there Barbara! Looks like you need a cold shower! You need to cool it!" Jaune exclaimed as he dodged a volley of attacks. Yang wasn't sure if she could get any angrier, but this guy was seriously testing her limits.
"Stop moving!" she screamed. Jaune stopped.
"If you insist," he grinned. Yang couldn't stop herself. She was already committed to her attack. Once her fist connected with his stomach, Ember Celica cocked and fired. It tore through his stomach, turning the air behind him into a sea of red mist. Chunks of meat covered the floor and. blood spewed from the boy's mouth as he toppled backwards. He fell to the ground, motionless.
Various bystanders in the nightclub watched the event occur. The moment the body hit the ground, blood spurting from the motionless body, people were screaming and racing for the exit. Yang had watched the body fall to the floor with a horrified look on her face. She had just murdered someone over a picture. It might not have even been real!
"This is a joke right?" she whispered to herself. She stumbled to the boy's side, her anger gone, replaced with crippling fear. She covered her mouth as tears started to stream from her eyes. She could see the blood pooling around the boy's lifeless form. She gagged a bit, tilting her head to the side, she threw up, spilling the contents of her stomach across the dance floor. She had murdered this boy! She had…
"Oh no! what have I done?" she looked down into his cold dead eyes, the boastful, proud exterior she always wore, crumbling rapidly. She sat unmoving, trying to process what had just happened. The consequences of her actions would forever torment her. This boy's death would plague her for the rest of her life. His soul would haunt her for eternity! It… was too much to even think about! She… she…
"Boo!" the boy exclaimed suddenly, spitting blood all over her face. Yang went deathly pale as her pupils dilated. Her astonished features completely frozen as the boy sat up, his midsection knitting itself back together again. Her eyes darted from the wound to his face, her mouth seemingly not being able to keep up with her mind which was racing at the speed of light. All she could was sit there, paralyzed by her own shock.
"Aw," Jaune pouted a little, sitting back from the girl. "That's rather disappointing. I was expecting a more explosive reaction. No screaming? Swearing, cursing…?" he voiced aloud. He waved a hand in front of her face to see if she was still conscious. Her eyes didn't even move, but remained locked on his person, or staring straight ahead. He cringed a little as her crimson eyes changed back to an intoxicating shade of lilac.
"Ah, well. I should probably be going." Jaune stepped up and stretched a little, looking towards his stomach. The wound had already fully healed, leaving no trace of a scar or permanent marking. He turned and made his way back up to the bartender who had successfully managed to stand up and retreat behind his bar stand. He too, could not remove his eyes from the boy in front of him. The strange blonde male acted like nothing even happened!
"What in the... how are you even alive?" Junior gaped. Jaune merely groaned as he sat down on a bar stool, picking up a nearby cup that was half empty, and immediately downed the entire thing.
"Just a special trait of mine. Aren't you the information broker around these parts? I thought a rumor like this would have reached your ears by now."
"I haven't heard a god-damned thing about a kid being able to regenerate from having his stomach turned into potato-fucking-salad. Who the hell are you anyway?" Junior asked incredulously. Jaune merely waved him off, a bored look on his face. He was more than savvy enough with how the underworld worked. If his name got out there this early into a new Kingdom, he would have all sorts of people chasing him down for his talents.
He had come to Vale for a specific reason, and he was going to see it through.
"That's not important, have you seen this woman?" the blonde asked. Junior looked at the photo, barely even seeing the woman the blonde was asking him about. Luckily enough, he had retained enough of his sanity to answer the question. Hopefully, this guy wouldn't attack him either. He didn't see positive outcomes fighting against somebody who could regenerate like that. It would be like trying to fight water, and even the situation of that analogy seemed stupid.
"No. No I haven't," Junior stated honestly, silently pleading the boy before him to leave. Jaune sighed.
"Darn… I really thought I was onto something here. Oh well. Tell the twins I'll be back for another round in a week or so," his eyes drifted down to his ruined Pumpkin Pete's hoodie. He frowned but rolled his eyes. He was lucky enough to have multiple backups in case they got destroyed. Most of the time the blood wouldn't wash out. He had been told to wear red, but he just couldn't betray the Pumpkin Pete's brand.
"Oh well, you take care now. I would recommend Ice and some lemons for bruised balls. Really brings out the flavor," Jaune smirked. Junior looked disgusted but didn't say anything as Jaune made his way towards the exit, stepping around the blonde he left pale and motionless on the ground. He whistled as he pushed past the henchmen who were still staring at him in horror. Pushing open the doors, the icy chill of the night hit his body, forcing an exasperated sigh from him.
Once the doors closed behind him, he noticed a smaller girl wearing a red cape and a black blouse standing a few meters away from the entrance to the nightclub. She was rocking back and forth on her heels, seemingly waiting for someone. He stopped in front of her, causing the girl to turn her attention to him. He gave her the brightest smile she had ever seen. She absently returned it after a few awkward moments.
"Ah… hi," she said awkwardly.
"You're far too young to be hanging around these parts. Someone might get the wrong idea," Jaune stated rather cautiously. The girl gave him a questionable look. Upon closer inspection, the girl had some similarities to the girl he had traumatized inside of the nightclub. The crimsonette had the most innocent look on her face he had ever seen. She couldn't be older than fifteen or sixteen.
"I'm… uh, waiting for someone," she replied hesitantly. Jaune's eyes perked up a bit at that. If he was correct in this assumption, then this girl was with the blonde he had met earlier.
"This person doesn't happen to be blonde, right?"
"Yeah, she's blonde. I'm waiting for my sister. Did something happen?" she asked innocently, her voice laced with concern and worry. Jaune cringed once again, a feeling of guilt crashing down on top of him. Hesitantly, he gestured back towards the nightclub, a forced look of concern on his face.
"Yeah, she might need some help."
"She didn't get into trouble, did she? I saw a bunch of people leaving, screaming something about a crazy blonde. Yang normally gets into trouble with these sorts of things, so I tagged along. I wasn't allowed in though, so I just waited out here."
"For good reason," he muttered under his breath.
"Did you say something?"
"No."
The two stood awkwardly for a few moments before Jaune broke the silence.
"Out of curiosity, how old are you exactly?"
"I'm fifteen. Why do you ask?"
"Damn jailbait," he muttered once again. The girl was clearly starting to get frustrated with the words he was muttering under his breath. She stepped right up into his face, with an adorable, yet aggressive look on her face. Jaune would have stepped back, but he was too busy holding back his laughs from seeing her stand on her toes just to try and reach eye level.
"Stop whispering!" she snapped childishly. Deciding that this conversation had gone on far too long with no end in sight, Jaune decided he'd use the oldest trick in the book to get out of this. Admittedly, he hadn't used this trick in a while, and it really only worked on children, but she looked silly enough to believe it.
"Hey look! What's that!?" Jaune exclaimed, pointing in an exaggerated manner in the opposite direction. Ruby immediately fell for the trick, turning to look at whatever Jaune was pointing at. He quickly turned and ran as fast as he could in another direction.
"I don't see anything," Ruby voiced with disappointment. She turned back after a few seconds of trying to find whatever she was supposed to see. "What was it- Hey!" she screamed indignantly. She looked around desperately to try and find where the blonde teen had run off to, but unfortunately for her, he was long gone into the night. She pouted childishly.
"Oh come on..." she muttered. "I can't believe I fell for that."
She blew a strand of hair out of her eyes before she turned, walking over to the steps of the nightclub and sat down. She hoped she wasn't going to have to wait too long, otherwise the guards at the door would be getting a face full of her scythe. Then her sister would get an ear fill for making her wait so long. Seriously, she had been waiting out here for almost twenty minutes! Yang had said she would be five minutes at the most!
"What could possibly be taking her so long?"
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Jaune Arc was currently heading to the place he had always dreamed of going to when he was a but a small boy.
However, those dreams quickly faded when he grew up and learned of his special, unique talent. He could survive anything and fight anything. So what was the point in learning to be a huntsman? Well, just because he could survive wounds and dismemberments that would kill any normal person didn't mean he knew how to fight.
Honestly, he was rather average with his weapons, and most of what he knew already was self-taught after fighting with hordes of Grimm. He decided the best place to learn was at a huntsman academy. His life had been rather boring up till now. He had done all the mercenary work he could get his hands on, and he flirted with practically anything that moved. Heading to a prestigious Huntsman school like Beacon Academy was assured to be entertaining!
Beacon Academy.
It was a name that perplexed the young teenager. It's word choice in particular. Why Beacon of all things? Why not… Vale Academy? Why not… 'Young girls and occasionally the odd boy monster slaying' Academy? It certainly seemed to fit seeing as he was seemingly the only male on this passenger carrier. However, he had much more important things on his mind.
"Oh god!" he held his mouth as small bits of vomit leaked through his fingers. He let loose into a small backpack that he had managed to snatch from some poor girl that had boarded the ship. He didn't know, nor did he care, but at least it provided a place for him to place his stomach contents while this torturous ship continued to fly at the slowest speed possible.
"This is almost as bad as the time I tried it with a guy," Jaune groaned as he leaned back. A girl with orange hair was staring at him with an amused expression on her face. The boy dressed in dark green sitting next to her was trying his best to ignore him, but it seemed his orange haired friend wanted to investigate the strange blonde sitting next to them.
"Oh?" the girl cut in with a grin as wide as the Cheshire cat. "How bold of you to admit that you swing that way in a public place like this," she chastised with a grin. Jaune waved her off.
"I swing both ways, but I prefer to use the straight rope," he replied, holding his stomach as if his guts were about to spill out onto the floor. He was actually concerned that was going to happen. It wouldn't be the first time it had done that. He preferred not to recount those memories. They were quite painful to remember. When he had first learned that he was practically invincible, it was a day where he had gone to fight the Grimm.
And by Grimm, he meant a Beowolf.
It tore his guts out and made him puke out his lungs. That was a horrible day, but he had learned that he was in fact indestructible. The Grimm had even eaten half his body. He had regrown everything. What an experience that was! There was a silver lining to almost dying to Grimm, and it involved a certain area on his body, getting bigger each time it was ripped off. Jaune didn't know why, but he didn't exactly question the way his powers worked, he just accepted it, like everything else that happened in his life.
"Oh," she looked rather disappointed. The boy next to her cleared her throat.
"Nora. Leave the poor guy alone."
"Okay Ren…" she sounded even more disappointed, and before Jaune had the opportunity to retort a hologram of a familiar woman popped up across of them. To his shock, a very familiar red hooded girl stood next to a strikingly recognizable blonde. Hell, he could still feel the size of her breast in his hands. He had put that piece of black fabric to work the other night. The hologram cleared its throat.
"Greetings initiates of Beacon Academy. My name is Glynda Goodwitch. I am the deputy headmistress of this prestigious school. Upon arrival, please remember to take any belongings and exit the ship in an orderly fashion. Docking procedures will begin shortly. I do hope you enjoy your time here at our school," she instructed. Jaune grinned at every word she had said. However, he wasn't focused on what she was saying, but on what she was wearing.
"Damn… she's just asking for it wearing something like that," Jaune laughed. A giggle sounded next to him.
"I know right?" he turned to find that the girl called Nora had responded to his comment. The boy called Ren looked tired as he had his head in his hands. Jaune smiled as he extended his hand. The girl gracefully took it and gave a firm squeeze. The blonde was fairly surprised. Her grip was like iron, and she had the cheeky grin to match only his own when it came to snark.
"Jaune Arc," he said smoothly.
"Nora Valkyrie," she replied. His smile only widened.
"Now at this point, I would normally offer to take you to the backroom, and -putting this lightly- rock your actual socks off," Jaune stated as he maneuvered his head to look at the nicely dressed boy sitting next to her. "But unfortunately, I have to respect that you are probably already taken," he finished politely. Jaune liked to think of himself as a ladies man, and he would in no life, ever turn a woman down, or give up on a beauty. However, he was one who lived his life by the 'bro-code'. He would never be caught doing someone else's girl.
He had style, and rules… or rule, seeing as it was pretty much his only rule.
The girl burst out laughing while the boy next to her just sighed and turned the page on the book he was reading. Not much of a reaction out of him, and that had to mean that they either weren't dating, or they loved each other so much, that they knew they wouldn't betray each other. Jaune had a feeling he knew which one.
"Oh, we're not dating."
Okay, maybe he was wrong. Admittedly he had thought it was the latter.
"We're childhood friends. We're not together-together. It would be totally weird if we were dating. We're like brother and sister," Jaune noticed an edge to her voice. She was totally head over heels for her friend and he either didn't notice or wasn't interested. Jaune hoped to -whatever deity there was- that the boy was dense, because it would be so much fun trying to get these two to bone. He added this to his ever-growing list of things he needed to do before he clocked out of life.
"Ah I see," Jaune stated as the ship came to a grinding halt. His stomach did a flip as his face turned green. Nora screamed.
"AH! DON'T THROW UP ON ME!" Jaune turned back to the bag and opened the floodgates. The details are too gruesome to explain, but imagine the worst kind of puke, and multiply that by at least a million. Maybe throw in some more numbers just to make it worse. Jaune really did hate his only weakness. It would be the eventual ironic death of him.
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Rushing out of the ship like his very existence depended on it, Jaune Arc dived out of the ship and onto the sweet, motionless ground. Kissing it multiple times and thanking whatever god created land. Jaune was glad to be off the ship, he couldn't take his stomach twisting so violently for much longer. Standing up, he watched as people walked past him, giving him strange looks.
"What!? Never seen a guy with motion sickness before? It's not like it's uncommon or anything!" he yelled at them. He placed his hands at his side, giving anyone who walked past him a fierce, judgmental glare. After everyone had exited the ship, he sighed as he collected himself. He didn't get angry often, but he hated it when people judged him like that for suffering from a very serious condition. Motion sickness was possibly the worst thing anyone on Remnant could have, and this was coming from a guy who literally couldn't die.
He suddenly found himself knocked off balance from a force that collided with him from behind.
"Hey! Watch it!" Jaune hissed. The girl scowled as she picked herself up and dusted herself off. Upon closer inspection, the girl was rather beautiful. She had that aura about her… a mysterious, kinky aura. He was very experienced when spotting the closet perverts. It was just something about them, maybe it was the way they walked or looked at people distantly. He just knew this girl was rocking some serious reading material.
"Wow. The boy who is standing in front of the exit to the ship gets angry when someone bumps into him, by accident," she replied sardonically. Jaune was about to retort when his eyes caught sight of a familiar object. He looked down and saw the very same bag he was puking into in the girl's hands. His mouth paused, halting any words that were trying to spill out.
"Is that your bag?" he asked, slightly worried about her answer.
"Yeah. What's it to you?" her emotionless, impassive gaze continued to make Jaune more anxious. He could have sworn he started to sweat as she placed the bag around her shoulder. He cringed as he saw little small bits of his stomach acid soak through the bottom and drip on the ground. It seemed like the girl hadn't even noticed, nor had she checked the contents of the bag.
"Ah," Jaune paused for a moment. "I see."
"Why do you care?" she remarked, an annoyed tone to her voice. Jaune was about to respond before an explosion shook the ground. With their conversation interrupted, the blonde playboy took that moment to make a tactical retreat.
"Oh, that sounds interesting! I better go check that out!" he laughed in a terrified tone. Blake didn't even get to answer as the boy turned around and dashed away. The way he ran almost gave her the idea that he was running away from her. She narrowed her eyes as she adjusted her bag on her back. It was a little heavier than she remembered, but then again. She had brought a lot of stuff with her. Maybe she was just tired.
"What a strange guy," she thought. She was about to start walking, but something wet and slimy dropped and hit the back of her leg. Whatever it was, it felt horribly unpleasant. Her eyes widened as she spotted the vile substance, it appeared to be yellow and carried a horrible odor to it. Her nose wrinkled as the smell started to get more powerful.
"What the hell?" she noticed it was coming from her bag. She placed it on the ground and opened it.
For the rest of her life, she wished she left the bag on the ship.
Jaune watched from a distance as the girl recoiled from the bag in horror and disgust. He observed as she stood up from the bag, looking at it with absolute hate in her eyes. Since the ship had taken off and headed back to Vale, she was left standing next to a cliff's edge. She looked around and gently kicked her belongings off the edge.
"I'm going to gut whoever did this," the words came out of her mouth no louder than a whisper, but it was loud enough for Jaune to hear it. He swallowed as he straightened his hoodie. Drying the sweat off the back of his neck, he walked off in the opposite direction of the girl. He whistled nonchalantly until she was out of sight. Once she was, he burst into a full sprint.
Once he had made it a fair distance away from the girl whose bag he had used as a vomit receptacle, he stood up to catch his breath.
"That was close! I already have enough women after my spine. I don't think I need another one," Jaune breathed as he made his way towards the auditorium. He was mainly following the crowd of other students since he had tuned Glynda's holographic message out in favor for air groping her imaginary chest. It seemed like all the students were gathering for some kind of speech.
His thoughts quickly drifted back to the girl wearing the black bow.
"That girl does have nice legs though," he had a thorough image of her long… slender legs ingrained into his brain like a hot iron on cattle. He found himself drooling, imagining his head in between them, hearing her soft moans of ecstasy reverberate from her lips. Gently caressing her behind while she vibrated with each movement of his body. Shaking the thoughts from his head, he continued on his way. He had come here for a reason after all.
Once he had made it inside of the auditorium, a man had just reached the podium. This silver-haired elder was none other than Professor Ozpin. Jaune had only one encounter with the man back in the distant past, and he had been interested in him. He had asked so many questions but gotten no answers. Jaune had been fifteen at the time, and well… instead of thinking with his brain, he was more or less focused on what his crotch wanted to do.
"Honestly… I still kind of do that sometimes," he admitted.
"I'll keep this brief-" the headmaster started.
Jaune was already bored. He turned around and made his way through the crowd, wandering off into the hallways of the school. What kind of mischief could he get up to here? He had also spotted Glynda on the stage a few steps behind Ozpin. He wondered what her reaction would be like when she found out that he was attending.
He still needed to apologize after all. He just hoped she wouldn't attempt to crush his entire body like she had last time.
Jaune had found the sleeping quarters rather quickly. It wasn't exactly hard to find, especially when a couple of the older students were willing to help out. It was a rather large room, and it seemed to be originally a classroom, but re-purposed for a co-ed sleeping room. Jaune couldn't stop his grin when the words co-ed floated about inside of his head. He could still hear Ozpin's speech going on in the background, so he knew how much time he would have.
A menacing smirk graced his face.
He knew exactly what he was going to do to pass the time.
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When the first year students opened the doors to their sleeping area for the night, they had expected a large open area for them to sleep in, like the deputy headmistress had promised. However, what they found was nothing like it. Instead, their eyes lay on a giant mass of what seemed to be a fortress of pillows. They were all stacked perfectly, covering a decent portion of the room. In the middle of this makeshift fortress, was Jaune Arc, on a throne of pillows, wearing nothing but Pumpkin Pete's branded underwear.
"Welcome useless peons to Fort Arc! If you wish to join the Knights of Arc, you must shed yourself of your modesty! Then you may arm yourself with these special branded Pumpkin Pete's pillows, designed specifically for combat!" Jaune boomed with a voice of authority. Everyone present was completely frozen in utter shock and dismay.
Who in their right mind had let this lunatic into their sleeping area!?
"You there!" Jaune's voice carried weight as he pointed towards a singular girl in the crowd of first years. The smaller girl squeaked and almost jumped as all the attention was turned to her. "The one in the black corset! Are you brave enough to accept this one time offer to join!?" he finished with a deadly serious look on his face. Said girl happened to be none other than Ruby Rose. Standing next to her was her older sister, Yang Xiao Long, who had since lost herself in confusion the moment she laid eyes on the boy who she had thought she had murdered a few nights prior.
She had tried to turn herself in, but they told her she was nuts! Even Ruby had told her she was over exaggerating! Not to mention her adorable little sister thought she was some kind of sexual deviant after that incident! What exactly had happened!?
"M-me!?" Ruby squeaked.
"I can't believe this is actually happening," a stoic voice came from a girl wearing a black bow.
"What is this nut-job doing at Beacon?" a girl in white demanded. Jaune merely laughed, running a hand through his hair. His entire body started to glimmer like it had just been dunked in oil. His rock hard, washboard abs shone like the sun itself, causing a few females in the crowd to accidentally stare a little longer than they would have liked to admit.
"If you knaves won't join, I will-"
"I SHALL JOIN YOU MY KING!" an eager voice shouted from the back of the crowd. Jaune watched in amazement as the girl flipped over the entire crowd and landed right in front of his fortress. Her ginger hair wavered in an invisible breeze, her face etched with a smile that could blind even the darkest of evils. Nora Valkyrie was the first person to answer the call. Her mischievous smile sending shivers down every first year in the building.
"Oh no." was all Lie Ren could utter as Jaune broke down into tears of joy.
"Excellent! Welcome to the Knights of Arc, arm yourself, Captain! We have heretics among us!" Jaune commanded. Nora saluted and ripped off her clothes until she was down to nothing but her pink undergarments. She grinned as she armed herself with the heaviest looking pillows she could find. She grinned menacing back at the group of first years. Audible gulps could be heard all around the room as the first years spread out and tried to make due with the room provided for them.
"Heretics, all of you!" Jaune boomed as people tried to get their sleeping gear ready for the night. He turned to Nora, an exchange of expressions foretold an inferno of chaos was about to commence. "I commend you for your bravery Captain, but if we perish this day, know that I have always cherished the times we have fought alongside each other," Jaune expressed dramatically. Nora nodded, tears of pride falling from her eyes.
"Thank you, my King!"
"ATTACK!"
A hailstorm of pillows barraged practically every student in the room. Some were even knocked unconscious by the weight of the pillows. Jaune and Nora were relentless, and some people were actually starting to fight back by throwing the pillows back. However, the walls of Jaune's fortress didn't budge and provided excellent cover for them. However, it would only be a matter of time before their defenses crumbled.
Suddenly a red blur appeared inside the fortress walls. Ruby Rose had switched sides.
"I… uh, wish to join your side," she stated with an embarrassed smile. Before anyone had the chance to say anything. Nora's hands landed on the smaller girl and practically ripped the corset from her body, leaving naught but red underwear. Nora's grin widened significantly, while Jaune's tears of joy continued to fall. Ruby was momentarily stunned as her corset fell to the ground in comical shreds. She hadn't been expecting her clothes to be forcibly ripped off by this strange girl.
"Welcome to the front lines soldier! Arm yourself!" Nora boomed. Ruby shook away her fear and saluted.
"Aye Captain!"
Ruby popped her head up over the walls of the pillow fortress and biffed a pillow as hard as she could. She managed to hit home on her target, but unfortunately for her, the target was not too pleased about being hit. The same girl with the black bow had been trying to read a book before the pillow collided with her face. The book fell from her grasp as an irritated expression appeared on her features.
"Enough is ENOUGH," Blake growled. She picked up the pillow and stormed over towards the fortress. She stood in front of the wall and forcibly kicked in the wall. The wall of pillows crumbled as Blake stepped in. By no means was she amused, her fury could be felt by pretty much everyone in the room. Most of the people had been trying to ignore it, but it seemed to be a fruitless venture.
"The heretics have broken through! Captain! Provide artillery!" Jaune roared. Nora saluted and picked up an impossible amount of pillows. Blake's furious expression was actually quelled when she saw the shadow of death looming over her. Her cat ears drooped inside of her bow as Nora laughed madly. Before anyone knew what had happened, Blake was sent flying out of the fortress, bombarded by countless pillows akin to machine gun fire. She hit the wall and faded into unconsciousness, stars and balls of yarn floating above her head comically.
Next to the unconscious undercover cat faunus, was a blonde female who had her legs tucked up close to her chest. Her lilac eyes were absent and ghostly. She was muttering something on repeat like she was a broken record. To an onlooker, they would assume she had lost her mind.
"Where do you think they are getting all the pillows?" Pyrrha absently wondered as she stood off to the side, managing to avoid all the chaos. Weiss, who had been hit multiple times had managed to sit up, an angry red mark staining her face. She looked tired and frustrated, but if anyone were to guess, the most evident look on her face was depressive regret.
"Coming to Beacon was a mistake."
=/=
=/=
Today was initiation. Most people were wondering what the test would entail, while others were worried about their skill. Would they have to sit an exam and answer questions on a piece of paper? Test their mettle with one of the professors? Possibly, even fight a horde of Grimm? These were the kind of thoughts that occupied the minds of Beacon's newest initiates, but there was one who these thoughts did not plague…
Instead, this certain individual was too busy walking around wondering where his locker had gone. He had preferred to keep his weapons inside a bag, or on his person. He could never trust vaults, safes or lockers because as this current situation was proving, his relationship with these storage units was non-existent at most.
"Oh come on, where the hell is it? This shit always happens to me! It's why I keep everything on me!"
It was the simple things that brought him to his knees.
On his third lap around the room, he decided to swallow his pride and ask for directions. Noticing a certain white-haired angel, seemingly had descended from the very heavens to grace his very existence, he had elected to ask her. However, standing next to the white-haired goddess, stood a familiar looking redheaded teenager who looked stunningly familiar to the Pumpkin Pete's mascot. His eyes widened to impossible portions as he watched the two interact. His denial was skyrocketing, because there was one thing he knew better than anyone!
2D girls don't exist!
Everyone knew that.
Pretending that, perhaps the redhead was a figment of his perverted imagination, he pressed on with his mission to find his locker. Approaching the pale princess of beauty, he gave her a suave look.
"Heelllloo Snow Angel, my locker seems to have gone for a stroll, you wouldn't be able to spare some of your time to come and help me look for it, would you?" the blonde grinned, giving her a flirtatious wink. "Who knows, maybe there will be a… reward in it for you," the white-haired beauty seemed taken back. Why was this crazy person talking to her!? He was the one responsible for last nights chaotic event!
"Excuse you?! Can't you see I'm having a conversation here?!" the white-haired girl demanded viciously. The black hooded teen merely stared at Weiss, as if the words she had spoken had floated completely over his head. He seemed completely unaffected by her harsh tone.
"Sorry… I didn't hear a thing you just said. I seem to have found myself lost in your beautiful eyes," Jaune responded, leaning in closely. Weiss immediately bent backwards in an attempt to distance herself from the boy. "My name's, Jaune Arc, short, sweet, rolls off the tongue, the ladies love it," He stated with a charming smile, adding a wink for good measure.
The girl did not take to this kindly, in fact, she was furious. Her frame was shaking, her jaw was clenched and she was fiercely shaking. All in all, it looked as though she was about to unleash her ire upon poor Jaune. The taller girl to the side seemed to watch the interaction with an amused look on her face.
"Do you know who you're speaking to!? I am Weiss Schnee, heiress to the Schnee dust company and she is Pyrrha Nikos-" Weiss was abruptly cut off as the boy in front of her practically exploded with megaphone enhanced vocals.
"WAIT! YOU CAN SEE HER TOO?" his booming voice left Weiss's ears ringing. Jaune threw his hands up into the air as if to celebrate the occasion. "YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY BE THE PUMPKIN PETE'S MASCOT!"
Both Pyrrha and Weiss were dumbstruck by his outburst. It had been so abrupt and out of left field that they actually had difficulty finding their voice. They were also wondering why they were so surprised, considering after last nights pillow war, the boy was clearly unhinged and border-lining insanity. Before Pyrrha could actually respond, the boy bounced over to her and wrapped his arm around her. A blistering sensation of uncertainty raced through her body. She wasn't quite sure how to react to the sudden explosion of attention.
"Oh, of course not. Who am I kidding? 2D girl's don't exist. You have to be a cosplayer," Jaune concluded. Weiss's jaw couldn't have hit the floor harder. "I know you probably get this a lot, but you look almost exactly like the mascot for Pumpkin Pete's -though not quite as pretty- but you come very close, and no one can ever take that away from you."
"Umm, thank… you?" Pyrrha wasn't sure if that was an insult or a compliment, considering she was being compared to a photograph of herself on a box.
Weiss could take no more of his mockery. Stepping in between the boy and Pyrrha, she grabbed his shoulder and pulled him round to face her. Her glare rivaled the power of a thousand burning suns. He could feel the anger radiating off her, akin to that Goldilocks girl he had fought a few nights ago. He had seen the girl on the airship on the way to Beacon, so he could only assume that she was here for a similar reason as everyone one else.
"She is the Pumpkin Pete's mascot you brain-dead fool!" Weiss practically screamed. Pyrrha took a step back from the commotion, feeling that it had become a bit too heated. "She graduated top of her class at Sanctum Academy. She-" Jaune cut her off once more, turning back around to face the redhead. Weiss just froze, twitching as she once again found herself faced with the teenager's back. Her mind was unable to comprehend that he interrupted her for a second time.
"You graduated at the top of your class? I graduated at the top of my class!" He stated proudly. Weiss couldn't believe a single word that seemed to come spilling out of his mouth in an uncontrollable fashion. She was already steaming, thinking up ways to lecture this rude buffoon into next Sunday. Pyrrha on the other hand, gave him a polite smile, before responding. Her parents had always taught her to accept all kinds of people.
"That's quite the achievement. What academy did you attend?" she asked. Hearing this, Jaune puffed up his chest and put on a smile that beamed with pride. He ran a hand through his long blonde hair before responding, looking deeply into Pyrrha's emerald green eyes.
"I was homeschooled."
Pyrrha visibly twitched.
Weiss wanted to scream.
Jaune was about to open his mouth to continue boasting about his incredible achievements when he was interrupted by an announcement over the intercoms. Reluctantly, his common sense told him it would pay to listen to the voice, seeing as it belonged to the deputy headmistress.
"Attention all first-year students, please make your way to the Emerald Forest cliffside at once for initiation. The exam will start in ten minutes, please arrive early for briefing," the voice announced over the intercom. The excited blonde practically jumped for joy at the sound of the familiar voice. Weiss and Pyrrha couldn't help but stare at the deranged teenager with questionable looks on their features.
"I need to find my locker! Trust me, getting on the wrong side of Glynda is a baaaaad idea. The things that woman does when she finds you misbehaving!" Jaune giggled uncharacteristically. He turned back to the two teenage huntresses who were stuck in a state of speechlessness. "I don't think I'm a fan of hot candle wax though." he turned and skipped off to find his locker. Pyrrha and Weiss hadn't even moved, their eyes glued to Jaune's form growing ever smaller in the distance as he disappeared around a corner.
After a few moments of silence, Weiss finally broke the ice.
"Please tell me I'm having a nightmare. I'm still asleep back at Atlas right?"
"I was just about to ask you the same thing. Perhaps Haven Academy might have been the better option."
"Hey!" A voice echoed in the distance. "I found it!" the words were followed by the sounds of metal being smashed to pieces. Pyrrha started to sweat nervously, worried about the general sanity of the students of this academy. So far, this one appeared to be the worst, but the fact that there was a ginger haired girl willing to strip with the boy inside of a pillow fortress was just as concerning.
Weiss's jaw tightened, the lack of sleep she had to endure from the previous night's events had dragged her sanity beyond rock bottom. She was surprised she wasn't admitted to a mental hospital yet. She had to be in some kind of fever dream.
"I'm okay!" his voice rang through the now empty changing rooms.
"I hate this place already."
A/N:
Hi. This story is a visual representation of what happens when I drink and touch a keyboard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Also if it wasn't already obvious, this isn't really a serious story. I don't really know if I'll continue it at all to be honest. Overpowered Jaune stories aren't really my thing and this kind of spawned due to my frustration with them. Jaune isn't even a character I would call a favorite of mine.
The reason I'm posting this is because it was just sitting on my google documents gathering dust. I thought I might as well post it. Don't expect a consistent update schedule at all. I'll write this whenever I feel like it. If I never come back to it, consider it a one shot. Feel free to take this idea and run with it.
Cool. See you whenever.