After spending hours reading nothing but depressing angst I have to write something to match the mood…
Perhaps reading so much in the middle of the night wasn't the best idea…but I'm an obsessive reader so the effects aren't too damaging…
Except now I feel really…tired.
Warning: Depressed mood equals depressed Riku as of the moment…
Yeah, don't own anything unless you count the plot. This is the sequel to Broken Promise if we're being technical, but it can stand on its own…
Shattered Front…
Returning to the main island was like a slap in the face. Surrounded by nothing but light and trivial obsessions…it helped me ignore the truth.
I could forget what happened at Destiny Islands. I could forget him…
But she won't let me. Kairi won't let me get away with it…
She wanted to hear the truth.
She could tell that I was involved somehow when Sora disappeared. She could see past my façade and into the core of what I was feeling, where my heart was aching.
If I could shut all the sensations out, I would. But no matter how hard I try…I can't forget him…just like she won't rest until I reveal what happened on our island…
Her house feels like a prison, trapping me with forced obligations and undesirable burdens. I can't lie here…
Her eyes are violet-blue, piercing me with a thousand questions. Despite her calm exterior…I think she's scared of me…
She suspects.
She wonders.
She knows.
I feel so nauseated looking at her face. My body is screaming for me to run, to get away from her burning red hair and solemn blue eyes.
But no…I don't break my promises unlike him…
The first thing that escapes my mouth was his last request. The defining moment that changed everything…
I say it proudly. "He told me that he loved you…"
Her eyes are widening. She seems so fragile…so wary…
Her voice cuts into me, as sharp as glass. "You saw him?"
I growl as he comes to mind. His stupid, brown jumpy hair. Those oblivious blue eyes…
My reply to her query is cold and harsh. "I killed him."
It feels good saying that, like lifting a rock from my shoulders…
She's horrified by my response. It's completely understandable. After all, she loved him too…
She hasn't moved from her place on the couch. I take that as my cue to leave.
Her door is in front of me. I'm about to turn the knob…
But her voice interrupts me. It's filled with betrayal and disbelief, predictable.
I thought I was prepared for her next statement. But it turns out to be the most jarring, cruel, damaging group of words imaginable…
"But…you loved him. You loved Sora, Riku…" She says this with bitter honesty, puzzlement cloaking her entire form.
I don't know how to answer that. It's a legitimate remark…but at the same time, it has no bearings.
When did this happen? When did my love for him turn into hatred? Why can't I say his name now?
Wow…how silly of me. I know when everything changed…
I have to share my epiphany with her, even if she is no longer my friend. "No…I don't love him. That disappeared when he broke his promise…"
I nod absently, pleased with my assessment. Then I close the door in her face, facing the world with grim determination now that I'm back in the land of light. Back to where everything makes sense…
Back to where his broken promise can no longer reach me…
Hah, I feel a little better now. Had to let some of that out…
I'm starting to feel guilty for Kairi though…she didn't deserve to be treated like a jerk.
Ah, well…thank you all for reading!