Answers to questions from Derek's perspective.
What is one thing you have learned from your past?
Always tell the truth. Sounds simple enough I'm sure but it's a lot harder than you'd like to think. I wouldn't consider myself a liar by any means, though I'm sure there are plenty who would argue with me on that point. They'd say a lie by omission is still a lie; these are the same people who like to say that the truth hurts.
When I moved to Seattle I was running from something, alright someone (feel free to make that plural if you want to count Mark as an actual person, I don't anymore). I'll be the first to admit, at least now, that it was a cowardly move. To just up and run away from my cheating wife instead of facing her and seeing how that life would have played out in New York; cowardly. I just can't seem to regret it, even as I lay next to Addison at night I can't seem to regret coming to Seattle and meeting Meredith. Even when I'm being the 'friend' and listening to Meredith talk about sleeping with George (not something I find particularly nice to dwell on either) and that sharp pain takes up root in my chest – I just can't regret it. I don't even have the decency to regret making Meredith, in essence, the other woman. I'm well aware that it makes me something of a bastard but I wouldn't give up those few months for anything, not even my old life back in New York or a faithful wife.
Some days I think that I could have saved all of us a lot of trouble if I'd just told the truth and this is over the course of many truths and omissions. If I'd told Meredith that I was married maybe the choice wouldn't have seemed like such a hard one. If I hadn't waited to tell Addison that I was in love with Meredith maybe she'd have given up. Maybe if I'd just not worried about duty and vows and signed those divorce papers I wouldn't have become the kind of person who has to ask the pivotal question. Standing there like an idiot wanting to repeat the words, say anything to have her take my hand instead of his.
It all goes back to the truth. Even though I didn't do any of those things and let the omissions slip by and I laid in bed and knew I was a coward more than once in the past year. Even if I'd kept lying to everyone else I could have stopped lying to myself, saved the pain that I know will come. As much as I hated Addison for cheating on me I loved her too, I just never realized that sometimes that's not enough and neither are the vows if they stop meaning anything to you. Living your life for obligations isn't really living and I happen to like living.
So there you go. Always tell the truth, if not to everyone else then to yourself.