This is the day where I, The Dragoness, butcher the almost unbutcherale story My Immortal with a commentary. l'm doing this to get over writer's block for my story 'Ride meets Rider', so wish me luck...

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) I hate this already 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! What is MCR? How many spelling mistakes can there be in this one section?

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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way WHAT THE F*CK? and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) Nice to know, but babies are bald with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). THAT was a useless run-on sentance. Also, who is Amy Lee? I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.Don't know him either. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. That makes absolutely no sense... I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen).WELL DERP I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) We could tell and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. Maybe the story sucks because half of it is useless information about her clothes and people no one else cares about. And what's foundation? I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, Again, WELL DERP which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them. What a ray of sunshine!

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!Oh god. Poor Draco HAD to be dragged into this bullshit.

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. 'Draco Malfoy' and 'shyly' do not belong in the same paragraph.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. Three cheers for a pointless conversation...

Well, this is absolute bullshit. See you next update, which will be soon.