'Ello govnahs, who have been looking for SasuNaru fanfics, and have stumbled miraculously upon my humble leeeeeeetle story. When I had first decided to write this, it came out to two double-spaced handwritten pages. But then I realized that there was absolutely no plotline. SO, I basically had to rewrite the entire thing, now, like, ten pages long, typed. Amazing, no? xD

Nah, not all that much, actually.

Then I gave the new-and-improved version to a couple other yaoi-obsessives, and they kept saying I should've added a sex scene. ^^; But I denied them that pleasure because 1), that would eliminate many readers right there, 2), my strictly-Catholic parents know nothing of the wonders of yaoi, and 3), how embarassed do you want me to feel, writing this during school, and in other public places? What would happen if somebody glanced iver my shoulder and read what looked like to them, porn? And I'm a minor, and so, how many levels is that illegal on again? xP;;;

Anyway, without further ado, I present to you...*drumroll*...USURATONKACHI! Enjoy the show! xD

Usuratonkachi…

*~*A short SasuNaru yaoi doujin *~*

Sasuke couldn't see. He was cold, hot, and sweaty, all at the same time. He lay there shivering for some amount of time, then the weightless, and possibly metaphorical, covering was lifted from Sasuke's eyes. Then he saw Naruto, and relaxed. But then, as Sasuke looked Naruto over again, perched up on his heels like a bird in a tree, he realized something was…off. Naruto's eyes, and his smile, Sasuke thought. But then the reality hit him.

Something was wrong.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispered, his startlingly turquoise eyes slightly hazy and unfocused. The corners of his pillow-soft lips were turned upward, but no real emotion was behind them. "You need to stop, to die. I don't want you here anymore," He stood up, his uncharacteristic half-smile morphing into a look of absolute excitement, insanity.

Bloodlust. "So I think I'll kill you now."

He may as well have poured bleach down Sasuke's throat. That would've been nothing compared to pain he now felt. If Naruto didn't want him, then there wasn't really a point to living anymore, was there? As a single tear traveled very slowly down Sasuke's face, it seemed to carry with it his soul, his existence.

The image before Sasuke's burning eyes blurred for just a moment, like someone was refocusing his brain's internal camera. When his vision was cleared, Naruto was holding his sword. He pressed the blade against Sasuke's pale face, catching the tear, and replacing it with a delicate drop of blood. Naruto raised Sasuke's sword again, his grin widening.

"Goodbye, my Sasuke," he said mockingly. The sword came down.

Sasuke's eyes shot open at the speed of light, throwing his drab ceiling into sharp focus.

Whew. Just a dream, Sasuke thought, with his breathing quite a bit faster than normal.

He rolled over slowly, and sat up on the bed, pulling some pants on. Then he reached behind him to find Naruto's surprisingly small hand, and gently shake him awake.

One problem—no Naruto.

Sasuke frowned a tiny bit, then got to his feet, his joints creaking like old hinges. He stretched a little, then sighed, mussing his hair into place while walking down the hall to his apartment's kitchen. He could already hear the sounds of cooking.

As soon as his feet touched the cool linoleum tiling, Sasuke could really hear the sounds of grease popping, and a small teakettle whistling quietly in the background.

Naruto turned away from the stove, a large ceramic mixing bowl and wooden spoon in his arms. Ah, so Naruto was putting to use what Sasuke had taught him about making meals and cooking. Hopefully he hadn't burned down the house in the process. Naruto's face lit up as soon as soon as he saw Sasuke.

"Good morning, Sasuke! Did you sleep well?"

Sasuke didn't answer, but gently took the mixing bowl from him and set it down on the counter. Naruto blushed, looking up into Sasuke's eyes, making him chuckle. "Oh…so, you want to go back to bed, huh? Right now?"

Sasuke didn't respond, but was totally violating Naruto with his eyes. He leaned into Naruto's skinny frame, wrapping his arms like oversized ropes around Naruto's leanly-muscled shoulders. Sasuke nuzzled his lover's neck, and breathed in the sweet, clean scent that was always floating within a two-foot radius of Naruto's body. One of his hands began drifting down towards Naruto's waist.

Naruto's blush deepened tremendously. "S-Sasuke…what about our breakfast…?"

Sasuke lifted his face, and slid a finger up Naruto's throat, pulling up Naruto's chin, making him whimper. Then He breathed in Naruto's ear, "I don't think either of us can wait that long, Naruto…"

"Oh…"

Sasuke flicked the stove off, then dragged him back to the bedroom. Within a second, he had Naruto's shirt on the floor and Naruto pinned below him on the bed. They kissed passionately for a minute or two. When they came to a short stopping point, Naruto's hand floated gently up to touch Sasuke's lips, his cheek. Sasuke smiled a touch nervously under Naruto's fingers. "I…want you to know something, usuratonkachi…" He hesitated.

"Hm?"

"…I…love you."

Naruto's eyes widened for a second, then seemed to water a little. He smiled almost sadly. "As I love you, my Sasuke."

Sasuke blushed, and his breathing sped, and he could already envision the beauty of the situation-to-come. It had taken a fair amount of courage to get his true feelings out in the open like that, and Sasuke had completely expected Naruto to deflect the proclamation. The fact that he was completely accepted by the love of his life was more that a little, shall we say, exciting.

An hour later, Naruto and Sasuke were back in the kitchen, this time, fully clothed. Naruto was back at the stove, partially because he was the only one between them who actually enjoyed cooking, and partially because, well, suffice it to say that he couldn't sit down.

The pancakes were great. Naruto had made them just-so, and served them with black coffee, which was Sasuke's prime drink choice. And, even though it was instant coffee, and the pancakes were a touch underdone, Sasuke could really taste the effort Naruto had put into making him happy. That, as it should have, really made him ecstatic. Then Sasuke realized that Naruto was acting way too casually.

"Naruto, did you take your chakra supplements yet?"

He pouted silently, not looking Sasuke in the eye. Well there's a big fat "no" right there.

"C'mon, Naruto. If you neglect to take them, you know what might happen—a chakra imbalance, and that's no fun, right?"

Hi frown deepened. "Still don't want to. They taste horrible, like vegetables. I hate vegetables." There it was again, the reluctance in his eyes, and not from the vitamin argument.

"So," Sasuke said after a moment of quiet thought, "You would eat them if they tasted better?"

"…Sure, I guess," he said warily. "What are you getting at?"

Sasuke just smiled. He took a small brown pill from the container, and popped it in his mouth.

A look of absolute look of horror crossed Naruto's face. "What the hell are you doing? The doctor said those would be harmful to anyone but—!"

Then Sasuke silenced him with a ravishing kiss and went to work, moving the small capsule from his mouth to Naruto's with his tongue. The baka-uke struggled a little at first.

It wasn't much of a fight.

Within a minute or two, Naruto had swallowed the pill and was breathing hard, a blush creeping slowly across his face. Sasuke smiled slightly as he put his eyeglasses on to read the Hidden Village Times. His work there was done, and in a very pleasurable manner.

He looked from the article about the Land of Rice Paddy's growing season that he was pretending to read and said, "Now, Naruto, have you learned something?"

"Yes. Well, two things actually."

'"Oh?"

"One, to eat my supplements. And two, to not eat them again tomorrow." He blushed some more, and smirked almost provocatively.

Sasuke smiled and leaned back. "Oh, you usuratonkachi…" He was wondering how that would turn out for him, or rather, them.

The week after, Naruto approached Sasuke right after the ANBU mission they had completed. "Sasuke…"

Naruto's tone froze Sasuke to the core, even though he couldn't see Naruto's face.

"You need to stop. No, we need to stop." Sasuke heard Naruto shuffling his feet as his own heart stopped dead. "I mean, who are we kidding here? Both of our success rates have fallen ever since we started dating, and—"

"Are you saying you want to stop seeing me?" Sasuke asked, forcing his voice to steer clear of the heart-wrenching pain he was feeling at that moment.

"Ah…I guess so. Yes."

No.

"Um…I'll be over to pick up my stuff later…"

No.

"Don't worry. It'll be like…like I was never there."

No.

But that's not what I want, Sasuke wanted to say. But…it was what Naruto wanted.

That was good enough, then.

A quite brush of clothing. Naruto's finger brushed hair from his eyes, Sasuke could see in his head.

Sasuke listened to his love's slow footsteps away from him, wondering how this could actually be happening.

An hour passed, slower than any snail, slug, or any other slow, gross animal to be used in this analogy. Sasuke went to Lady Tsunade to turn in the mission report.

"Hokage-sama, we completed the mission successfully. The…bandits are done for. All ten are dead, no fatalities on our side…er…I think there were two injuries, but nothing a little hospital time won't—"

"Okay, Uchiha," she cut him off, "You're not fooling anyone here. What's going on?"

Lady Hokage leaned back in her chair, solemnly crossing her arms, assessing Sasuke's startled expression. "It's Naruto, isn't it?"

"..."

"I knew it. Now do tell what is going on."

"…With all due respect, Tsunade-sama, it isn't anything more than a minor personal affair between Naruto and myself. It anything that you necessarily need to concern yourself with."

"Sasuke, you and Naruto are two of my best men, even though you haven't joined more than a year ago. I can't have you acting all whacked-out on me. Now enlighten me of the situation."

"That may be so, but it isn't a huge deal. You don't have to worry so—"

"Sasuke Uchiha. That was the second time in under a minute that you have disobeyed a direct order from your Hokage. Do you really want to go there?

"…No ma'am."

She nodded, all business. "Okay then. Start talking."

Sasuke himself nodded slowly, almost in defeat, and explained himself.

"Naruto wants to end our relationship. He said it was because of success rates, but from what I could tell, he was lying through his teeth. So, in other words, he broke up with me, and won't explain why."

Tsunade swiveled her chair to face the window. "So he's being difficult, huh?"

"I guess you could say that, ma'am."

"Have you seen him since this supposed breakup?"

"…Supposed?"

"Just answer the question."

Sasuke cleared his throat. This hurt like hell to talk about. "No ma'am."

She sighed as she turned back around. "Sasuke?"

"Yes, Lady Tsunade?"

She stood up, walked around her desk and jabbed a finger in his chest. "I am very disappointed in you."

Sasuke recoiled in surprise. "Wha?"

"How could you just let him go like that, baka?"

"Well…ah…if breaking up with me was what he wanted then—"

"So you wanted him to be happy? Do you truly believe he would be?" Her eyes narrowed. "I'll let you in on a little secret. Naruto came to me last week because he was having this dream over and over again. Wasn't a happy one either. He killed you in it every time. And apparently it was with—"

"My own sword?"

Surprised registered on the female Hokage's face, but then quickly switched to understanding. "So you've seen it too…"

"Yes, once, about a week ago."

Tsunade waved her hand, dismissing the fact. "Either way, Naruto thought he was protecting was protecting you because he also began sleepwalking towards the room where you two keep most of your weapons, your sword included. He understood that he might not have been able to stop something bad from happening to you, so he attempted eliminating the risk by removing himself from the equation, no matter how painful it would be."

Things began clicking in Sasuke's head as Tsunade continued. "He did it because he loves you. And you tried to let him because you love him," She smiled gently. Never have I seen two people so drawn to each other as the two of—"

Then, at just the wrong moment, Sakura, Ino, Tenten, and Hinata barged into the room. The first three had hearts in their eyes. Hinata just stood there blushing. "Do we smell YAOI on the premises? SQUEEEEE—!"

Tsunade called for silence, but it was more like pressing the "mute" button on a TV remote than anything. She sighed slowly, rubbing her face tiredly. "Writer, did you really have to do that?"

'Yes. Yes I did. Hey, I have to let out my inner fangirldom somehow, right? Anyway, out you go…'

The four girls (who are completely unnecessary to this fanfic) paraded out with jazz hands, high kicks, and cries of anguish, but who is to resist the author's whim? (MWAHAHAHA) Sasuke's expression was nothing short of confounded, confused, and completely crazy.

Lady Tsunade looked at his frozen form for another second, then gestured wildly, "Whatareyoudoing? Don't just stand there! Go! Run! Keep that brat from doing something he'll totally regret later! And that's an order!"

Sasuke blinked, then ran out of the room. Surprisingly, a couple seconds later, he reentered the Hokage's study.

"Uchiha, what are you—?"

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama," He bowed respectfully, then returned to his original path.

"Oh, that kid…" Tsunade murmured to herself, "His thoroughness is going to get him killed some day…"

Sasuke was seriously breathing hard by the time he reached the apartment that he and Naruto (formerly) shared. It was lucky that Naruto seemed to be there already—Sasuke didn't want to have to run around town looking for him.

After Sasuke barreled through the door, he almost immediately skidded to a stop when he saw Naruto's tear-stained face staring up at him from the middle of the kitchen floor. After a split second of hesitation, he lurched off the ground, grabbing the bags he had packed for himself, all the while hurrying to wipe away the obvious tears and sniffle away his evident emotions.

"Uh, sorry about all this…um…I'll be out in just a—"

Before Naruto could finish, Sasuke slammed the open door next to him in a sudden half-rage. "Oh no. You're not going anywhere."

"Um…I'm not…?"

"Nope. My orders from Lady Tsunade say that I have to stop you before you do something you'll regret."

Pain registered clearly on his face as he slid back to the floor, his head sinking. "…She told you, didn't she?"

Sasuke nodded. "But honestly can't think you can just leave, not matter how dangerous you think it is," He stepped toward Naruto slowly. "Believe it or not, it's actually safer this way. We can't protect each other if we're separated all the time."

"But—"

"Sh. I'm going to make the dreams stop by filling them with happy thoughts of me. And even if they don't completely stop…well…I know that's not what you truly want, so I'd stop you in time. Might be a close call, though…"

Sasuke watched the shock register on his lover's face. "But it's not going to happen, though," he continued, "Because I couldn't bear to do that to either of us."

Very slowly, another tear followed its brethren down Naruto's smooth, soft cheek. Sasuke kneeled next to him and kissed it away. "You don't have anything to worry about, Naruto. And since when do you care about ANBU success rates?"

Naruto looked up at Sasuke's face, and blushed. "Did you really see through me?"

"Not straight away, but pretty damn close."

"So you didn't fall for it?"

"Not really, no."

The splash of heat spread farther across Naruto's face like ink across glossy paper. The tears came faster now, and he threw his lean, lightly-muscled arms around Sasuke's neck. "Good. I'm glad."

There they sat, Naruto crying quietly in Sasuke's shoulder, and Sasuke just held him, smiling slightly.

Sasuke felt Naruto's breathing slow into that of sleep, and found himself to be pretty tired as well. He carefully laid them down, right there on the kitchen. Naruto was resting peacefully on his chest. The world seemed pretty great right then. And Sasuke thought one last thing before sleep overtook him:

Do me a favor and never try to protect me again, you usuratonkachi.

I hope you liked it! Please, please, PLEASE review. I'd really appreciate it~~~

Ta,
Lorakeet~