The only thing that seems to be a constant in your life is Negan. No matter how many times you were separated from him, your paths ultimately brought you together. The job you took at the school is the first time you set eyes on him. A brief encounter that leaves you captivated.
He, on the other hand, is less than impressed.
Or so you thought. You're surprised by how forward he is when he asks you if you have any plans. You ask about Friday instead, but he's pretty insistent on it being tonight. What's there to do on a Tuesday? You agree, and eagerly wait. You're nervous and starting to have second thoughts. Your nerves settle when you realize you're being snubbed and have to walk home alone that night. You can't help but think the worst, until you see him the next day.
He even has the audacity to be hitting on one of the foreign language teachers.
"I need to speak with you."
"Later," he dismisses you, not even turning his attention your way.
You're going to get his attention all right, and slap him across that smug grin.
"What the-"
"Shut your mouth. Who do you think you are?"
"Goddamn, you're hot when you're bitchy."
You're not being bitchy! "You stood me up, and now you're insulting me?" His charisma won't save him because you won't be some second choice. It's rewarding standing up for yourself, yet it doesn't make you feel any better about the situation. You can't help but feel like the other staff is talking about you behind your back. Except it's not you, it's him they're talking about. Apparently, this isn't the first time he's done something like this and it won't be the last. To make matters worse, he's married! You stand your ground because you won't be the other woman.
It doesn't last long.
Negan never tells you goodbye after he's got what he wants. Most of the time, he slips out while you're in the shower.
You finally get up the courage to ask about his wife.
He doesn't deny it.
In fact, it's the most you two have exchanged.
Negan admits that she has cancer. He also reveals that you are one of many women he sees.
You won't give him the satisfaction of thinking you're hurt, and hurry to the bathroom. Like he'd give a damn about your feelings in the first place. How foolish to think what you had with him was something special. You break it off with Negan, but it's not easy. There's several times you find yourself slowing down when walking past his office. Or attending sporting events while he coaches. You notice that he's not the same man you grew fond of. He hasn't been present since you broke things off with him, but you know that's not the reasoning. He's losing her. You have thought what it would be like if he wasn't married and you could command some of that attention the way Lucille did. When she passes from the cancer you think… not like this.
She deserved better.
He deserved better.
Instead, you watch as he gives her one more kiss. It shatters what optimism you have left because you know he'll never be the same again. What a fool to believe you'd fit into his life. The resentment harbors deep within you, culminating to antipathy, though that resentment just might be in vain as you observe the hospital become something out of a movie. There isn't words to convey the proper emotion when human beings are being slaughtered in an effort to control disease. A virus, they call it.
Incurable.
Irreversible.
Inevitable.
The world rapidly goes sour, leaving you in this survival haze. Some days you still can't cope with the fact the dead roam the earth. This is one of those days when your body just wants to give. You let it, except you're not let off that easy. You're spared by a group of likeminded individuals. Winters come and go. Life isn't perfect, but it's something worth getting up in the morning for. This place you've help built is something where the human race can flourish and be prosperous. Where children can grow up, and we can bury our dead because they've lived a life, not because they've turned from the virus.
The following summer brings panic within your group. Some of the others are talking about a group called The Saviors. Led by a man they call Negan. What are the chances that someone else would have that name? This can't be right. The Negan you know wouldn't go around and bully communities into giving him supplies.
The rules are simple. You give him half of your things, his men protect you. If you don't agree, you die. Several people feel a better option would just be abandoning everything you've worked for. Others want to fight. You try and be that voice of reason because in actuality, it's not that bad of a deal. Knowing you can focus your time on supplies rather than sending groups out to kill the dead could yield double the supplies. More than enough for your group and the Saviors. They don't listen to you, and war is declared.
You go with the group because you hope that maybe you can get to Negan first. Talk about this before there's any bloodshed. Only, you fail. Your group takes out a few Saviors parked on the side of the road. Still, you try and convince them this isn't the way. It's too late for words, as you soon find out.
During one of the many patrols to find Negan, he ends up finding you.
Your group is forced to the ground awaiting instruction from the brute Savior leader. You watch as he threatens your people and hope that his wrath will be centered on you. Not your loved ones. Or friends. You're giving him too much credit. He doesn't remember you. You were just something warm to spill into. A distraction from Lucille until he didn't need you anymore.
"You are it."
Your eyes close, trapping your tears. The sounds of the brutal beating he delivers to the older man beside you intensify. That man didn't deserve this. All he ever tried to do was be the voice of reason for your group. The one that was actually against attacking the Saviors in the first place.
"You look like you want to say something. Speak up," Negan taunts you. When you tell him your name, he can't seem to place you, then further adds insult to injury by saying he'd remember this level of derangement.
Bile burns in your throat. You vow to yourself that you won't be made a fool of again. Any training exercise, supply run, weapons class you attend to better your skills. You made yourself a promise. Later that spring, the promise is fulfilled. "Negan!" you shout in the courtyard of Sanctuary. Something tells you this time he's going to remember you.
He finds it uproarious when you threaten his life.
You've got something for that wide open trap, all right.
"Here I thought I was getting a new wife."
You make sure the sun reflects off your knife just right so it temporarily blinds him.
"I won't bother smashing the holy fuckity out of that pretty little face with Lucille because I want you to turn. That way, I can put you on my fence." He's even more confident about this than he is in bed. The knife is pulled from his side holster.
You twirl yours between your fingers. "Then come and get me, big boy..." All you have to do is evade and get that one jab in. Your stomach is practically sliced open. You don't have time to survey the damage and you're quick to return your knife. It's caught in worn leather, which almost costs you your life.
He's too massive to fight.
Agility is the only thing you think is on your side until you discover that his downfall is his arrogance. The knife doesn't penetrate his thick flesh easily, even with two hands. It isn't until he collapses onto it that you get it in all the way.
The Savior leader is brought to his knees.
The more you force the knife upward, the harder his choking gasps become.
He frantically pats the wound as if he can piece it together, but that time has long passed and he sinks back onto the pavement.
This is the look you've long waited for, except not like this. Your eyes well up when you see him in agony.
Recollection takes hold of him when he murmurs your name. His trembling, bloody fingers graze your cheek as they stain your skin red. "I'm sorry," he stifles.
"I let anger take over me." Silent tears finally give.
"I saw your potential. That's why I've always tried to push you away from me."
Your head bows and you can't keep your composure. "Why didn't you tell me that sooner? Why did it have to come to this?!"
His fingers tighten around yours until they go limp. Even in death, there's that grin twisted upward housing two rows of flawless perfection.
At least he'll be with her again.
You look up to his men gathered around their former leader. There isn't even time to explain before metal pierces in several places. You collapse close to him. This fleeting memory of Negan enters your mind. You wonder if, perhaps, his last thoughts were of you because you know your last one is of him.
A/N I have a few other Negan x OC fics if you're interested, and some smutty trash.