The Long Road to Mugen
A.N. The Inner Senshi reflect on their lives and purpose as they walk towards Mugen Academy for the final battle with the Death Busters and the Messiah of Silence.
The following story takes place between the end of ep 123. Shadows of Destruction: The Messiah of Silence Awakens and the beginning of ep 124. The Coming Terror of Darkness: Struggle of the Eight Guardians.
There is a continuity glitch where the end of ep 123 shows the Senshi transformed and walking towards Mugen. Ep 124 opens with them de-transformed and preparing to go into Mugen. This fic slots between the two episodes to account for that.
Elements of manga (Rei) mixed into a mostly anime continuity, with some headcanon (thanks Minako, for never talking about your family).
Translation and poetry notes available in author notes at the end. Enjoy the fic!
Disclaimer: Lyrics to Alphabet Aerobics by Blackalicious are used in the first drabble. I do not own the rights etc. Nor the rights of any else either. Thanks be to Naoko Takeuchi
Outside Mugen Academy
Five young women walked towards the deserted city centre.
By mutual agreement, the Senshi would meet in front of Mugen Academy in one hour. The Death Busters and the Silence waited for them there. They could wait an hour more. The Senshi had goodbyes to make. Five lives to wrap up.
The normally bustling metropolis was now devoid of people; the citizens of Tokyo had a good collective feel for danger. Everyone was evacuating the city away from the half destroyed high school.
Everyone except for the five Senshi, walking towards the doom that awaited them at the ruined high school.
Ami
...And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
Ami walked silently through the deserted streets of Tokyo. A ghost girl in a ghost town.
Only scraps of poetry haunted her now. Near death experiences seemed to bring out her artistic side, a last minute effort to appreciate the beauties of life maybe? Now was not a good time to be distracted, but Ami could never quite get her mind to just shut up.
...Do not go gentle into that good night
Rage, rage against the dying of the light...
Was it only a week ago that she had almost died? Yet, here she was, walking straight back into the belly of the beast. A small traitorous voice in her head was saying "run away, run away". Ami did her best to ignore it. The world needed Sailor Mercury right now, and not Mizuno Ami. Her life fell further behind with every step. Things there weren't exactly the way she would have wanted to leave it but there was no time to change that. She'd gotten into a huge shouting match with her mother. Not surprising. She was choosing to stay Tokyo instead of evacuating like any sane rational person and no, she couldn't explain why . Afterwards, she'd simply snuck out the window. It was better than saying goodbye.
If she didn't return from battle, she knew her mother would always regret their last words to each other. Selfish of her to go home and pick that fight really, but she felt unwilling to disappear without a trace.
Disappearing without a trace. That bothered her now. She'd come a long way since the days where she actively tried to fade into the background.
...'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'...
She remembered life before Usagi. She used to be content to stand back and just observe. There was so much everywhere that most people failed to notice and Ami never missed a thing.
Then Ami grew curious. Adjust conditions here, change a variable there. What would happen?
Ami experimented. It was a basketball game. She set her team mates like chess pieces and called the play. The game was won, but her pawn was taken off the court with a broken leg.
No one blamed her, of course. No one could have known that she knew that she fully expected that outcome. Expected, considered and accepted. She wanted to win. Ami didn't quite understand why, but she was horrified by that.
..."Twas right", they said such birds to slay
That bring the fog and the mist...
She went into damage control mode then. Do No Harm.
The logical thing to do was to keep to herself. Put on a mask, create some illusions. Obfuscate, misdirect, or freeze anyone that tried to get close. Walk away from conflict. That protected her, and others from her. She gained a reputation for being stuck up and aloof. That bothered her too for some reason, but still, it was better than the alternatives.
Then Usagi happened.
...And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes...
Usagi showed her kindness. Accepted her for who she was. Pure unconditional love. Ami saw more to life than conditions and variables that day. Even Ami the Genius needed human connection to be fully alive. Now she had a life outside of books and studying. It felt like a warm light had been lit inside her shell.
In a simultaneous event, Sailor Moon called and gave her purpose. The intellect that had always marked her as different, the disquiet in her mind, now it had focus. Between meeting her first friend, and becoming Sailor Mercury, Ami wasn't sure which event changed her more. Usagi and Sailor Moon. They had both saved her life in different ways.
Ami walked on without hesitation. The battle ahead took priority over everything else, and she had a job to do.
...Artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing
Analytically, I assault, animate things...
She arrived at the open plaza in front of Mugen before the others as she expected. Good. That gave her time to think. In the eerie urban silence, Ami set the board. What would she do, if she were a Death Buster, to stop the Senshi? How could the enemy attack? How was the building defended? Sailor Teleport could work. Would that get them all killed?
The ghosts of a thousand scenarios passed though her mind. Tactics formed and strategies developed. When it came time for the actual battle, she might not count for as much as Venus or Jupiter or Mars, but right now, the field was hers. She would do her best, now and forever, for the ones who made her life worthwhile.
A good reason for living is after all, the equal and opposite of a good reason for dying.
Wakaishu ya / shinu ga iya nara / ima shiniyare
hito-tabi shineba / mō shinanu zo ya.
Rei
Click-click, click-click, click-click
The crisp staccato of Rei's patent leather shoes echoed through the empty streets.
She would have preferred to be in her miko robe. It seemed more appropriate to walk to battle wearing centuries of tradition. Instead, she had her school uniform. A modern day battle dress if one wanted to be poetic about it, but that was a stretch.
The end of the world seemed like a bad time to worry about a costume change at any rate. She'd only stopped back at the temple long enough to make sure that Yuichiro had kept his promise and evacuated Grandpa to the safety of the countryside. He had. The temple was empty when she got there.
Good. No goodbyes.
The whole scene seemed staged anyhow. A lone samurai striding into an empty village, head high, eyes bright, hand on sword...but she was just a school girl, she carried no sword.
Instead, she carried the elemental powers of Mars. War. Fire. Passion.
Rei's lips drew back into a smirk. That was better than any sword. She hoped her mother was proud of her.
All her life, she wanted to make her proud. When she was younger, proud meant making it as a international career woman of success. Now life was different. She was older now. She was a Sailor Senshi. Today, proud meant walking into the fortress of the enemy and defeating them there.
The younger self also wouldn't have been caught dead serving as someone's bodyguard. Bodyguards were just accessories for people who liked to feel important. Her father had two. Faceless mooks who seemed to happy to risk their lives for a paycheque as far as she could tell. Her father wasn't the type of man who could inspire true loyalty. All empty words and broken promises. Everything she needed to know about her father, she learned by watching his campaign speeches on TV in the hospital room with her dying mother. Faithless bastard never even came to visit. This was the kind of political leader that was shaping the world today. Pathetic. Rei had no respect for that.
Being Sailor Mars was different. Usagi was different. That deficient, klutzy oaf of a girl. Usagi. Rei smiled again. Less grim and more genuine this time. For all of her many, many faults, Usagi had a heart big enough to love the whole world. She believed a world where everyone had a future, everyone deserved love and friendship. Usagi had brought Rei into her world and now, she believed.
She believed in Usagi and her ways. She believed that she had a role to play in protecting that. That made her more than just a bodyguard. She was a Senshi, fighting to create a world that she believed in. That should make her mother proud. - not that Rei really knew what would make her mother proud. Rei could barely remember her. It was so long ago, and Rei was so young. Her mother's pride was now just a reflection of her own standards. That was enough to keep her on her path.
Rei strode into the clearing before Mugen with her head held high. She raised her arm in greeting. A gladiator's salute. Ami looked up from her computer and nodded in acknowledgement.
The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.
She had studied the classic text the Art of War by Chinese general Sun Tzu in business class, back when she still dreamed of such things. Strange how that came around full circle.
Rei took a deep breath, and settled down to wait for the Death Busters to make their fatal mistake.
Makoto
Sailor Jupiter leapt from rooftop to rooftop, a watchful guardian over the blonde odango-atama below.
Usagi herself would likely disapprove, hence the secrecy, but the other Senshi needed this. When the others agreed to delay the final battle at Mugen for an hour, there was a second unspoken agreement among them. Everyone else had goodbyes to say, ties to cut off. Makoto didn't, All of her people were going into Mugen with her. And so, for the next hour, she would guard the Princess alone. No one had asked her to, but she'd agreed to it anyways. It was her gift to them. Peace of mind. A thank you for being her new family.
Another rooftop. Usagi was almost back at the Tsukino household now. Jupiter couldn't imagine how that conversation would go. Hello mother, hello father! I'm leaving now for the disaster zone everyone else is running away from! Take care! Ittekimasu!
That was actually almost word for word the last conversation she'd had with her parents (minus the disaster zone part). Maybe there's no real good way to say goodbye afterall. Goodbyes sucked. At least if she died in battle it would be for a good reason, like protecting her Princess, and not a stupid reason, like engine failure. If goodbyes sucked, then accidents were worse. They were pointless, preventable, and they happened every goddamn day. There were no goodbyes then.
Life wasn't fair.
She had gotten pretty good at dealing with that over the years. It was the only way to go on living: Accept that sometimes, shit happens and then fight back using all her strength. Sometimes, that meant cooking a nice meal, or hanging out with her friends. Other times, that meant throwing lighting bolts at some daimon. Anything that made life less shitty was a solid win in her books. On a good day, she was all zen and going with the flow. On a bad days, she just wants to grab onto everyone and never let go for fear of losing them.
Judging by how self-reflective she was being, today had all the hallmarks of a bad day.
Shimatta. Distracted. Usagi was looking right at her now, waving for her to come down. So much for secret service.
Jupiter dropped onto street level and let of of her transformation.
"Hi Usagi."
"Mako-chan! What were you doing on the roof?"
"You shouldn't be alone right now."
"I'm not alone Mako-chan. You're here. Come in with me."
"No, it's ok. I'll stay outside. Don't want to interfere"
"You wouldn't!"
There was no more arguing after that. Ikuko Tsukino threw open the front door and ushered them into the house.
"Usagi!"
Big hug
"Kino-san!"
Another big hug.
"I'm so glad you are here. Have you seen the news? It's terrible. We are leaving town. I have everything packed. Your Papa is picking up Shingo from school. Where is Chibi-Usa? I thought she was with you?"
Ikuko was frantic with worry for her family. The same general sense of unease had driven most other families out of the city already.
Usagi took her mother's hand to calm her.
"It's ok Mama, it'll be ok. Chibi-Usa is with her friend Hotaru. They are safe. I'm going to go get them now. I just wanted to pop by and let you know that."
The strange serenity in Usagi's voice washed over Ikuko, soothing her. Usagi gave her hope that cut through the anxiety that currently suffocated the city.
"Thank you Usagi. You've become such a wonderful big sister. Watch out for each other ok? Kino-san, thank you for looking after her. You'll protect her?"
"With my life"
If Ikuko was taken aback by her sincerity in that, she didn't show it. If anything Makoto thought that she looked relieved that her daughter would have such a big tough-looking friend with her on the road.
"Thank you Kino-san"
Ikuko then turned to say goodbye to her daughter. They hugged, they whispered words to each other that Makoto didn't wish to eavesdrop on. Makoto stepped outside to give them some privacy.
Of course she would protect Usagi. Usagi was the most important person in her life. They were similar in some ways. Usagi understood the urge to protect others instinctively. The difference was perhaps that Makoto protected others out of fear of losing them, and ok, maybe she did occasionally get a secret kick out the violence. Usagi protected people, anyone and everyone, completely out of love. Maybe in time, she could learn to be more like Usagi. Makoto smiled. Somehow, Usagi always cheered her up on her bad days – even the imaginary Usagi in her head.
As much as she hated how different she was, it was times like these that made it all worthwhile. She was big, she was strong, and she could protect the important people in her life. How or why wasn't important, as long as everyone was ok at the end of the day. Any day where everyone got to go home was a good day in her books. Hopefully, today would be a good day. Makoto never prayed much, but she did have one prayer. A Guardian's prayer.
If we must fall, then let me be first.
Usagi came out of the house looking equal parts sad and determined. She was uncharacteristically quiet. Mako was too. They didn't need words in this moment, just being together was support enough.
The walk to Mugen was uneventful. They were in sight of the square now. Ami smiled at their approach, Rei mouthed a silent "thank you".
Makoto was glad they weren't the last to arrive. It wouldn't be fitting for the Senshi who would be first into the fray.
Minako
One foot in front of the other.
Left-right-left-right
Minako marched to the smoking crater in the middle of the city.
Aino Minako, not Sailor Venus. It was a silly thing. A small personal rebellion against the fates, but it was important to her. She wanted Aino Minako to make as much an impact on the world as possible. Every footprint that she left behind was a testament saying "I was here". Aino Minako was here.
Even a dusty footprint was better than nothing. Death was so...nothing. She had more experience with death than most. Killed once and died once. That's got to count for something.
Morbid thoughts. Minako imagined a cute guy across the street to distract herself.
Hey baby, going my way?
Ugh, never mind. Bad line. Like there would be anyone doomed enough to be going her way. Her way was somewhere between nowheresville and certain death.
She had thought about going home to say goodbye to her family, assuming they were still at home. In the end, she had decided there was no point. Instead, she had just spent the past hour wandering around town. The Crown Game Centre or her school gym was as much a home to her as anywhere else now. She used to have a good relationship with her parents, but that fell apart when she suddenly ran away from home with no explanation. A few months in London and then home again just as suddenly. No explanations given. "I'm a superhero" or "My cat told me to" probably would have gotten her thrown in a mental institution. As far as her parents understood, she had one day decided to steal a bunch of their money, party for a few months, and then come home when she was broke. Minako was sure they couldn't imagine that she had a very good youma slaying/saving the world related explanation for doing what she did. A very good explanation that she could never tell them about. If anyone knew the true identity of Sailor V, they would have been in terrible danger; the first target of every force of evil out there. Secrets needed to stay secret. Duty over love. That was just her lot in life. Totally unfair.
It was also totally unfair they could all die inside a high school that none of them - Ami aside - would even pass the entrance exam for! Minako twitched. Ami could have passed that exam with her hands tied behind her back and she could have dragged the rest of them up with her come hell or hot water.
She thought of her Senshi then. Each with their strengths and weaknesses.
Ami: brilliant, but brittle. Rei: fierce, but prideful. Makoto: strong, but stubborn.
Each of them loyal. Each walking into almost certain death for their Princess.
If she had her way, she would have just picked up Usagi, and carried her far far far away from here. Mugen Academy. The place reeked of death. Minako knew others would agree too. There was nothing on this earth that was worth risking Usagi for.
That however, would have been a greater betrayal. Giving up, running away. Abandoning Hotaru. That would have broken Usagi more than anything any enemy could ever do.
Usagi meant that much to them. Minako saw it in the way they all looked at their Princess.
That's what brought the Senshi together. Love for Usagi. They all loved her. There was something about Usagi that was just so damn loveable.
And she loved Mamoru.
Underneath everything, that was the bond that keeps the them together. Love. Bright and beautiful, terrible and destructive.
Where's Usagi's love was pure and innocent, Minako's domain lay somewhere darker. She was the Soldier of Love. Venus's love was her weapon. Devastating. Love that makes fools of us all. Crushing, all-consuming passion. Love, the twin partner of Jealousy and Obsession.
The Senshi all loved Usagi too much to ever hurt her like that. They all stepped back, and built walls around that part of themselves. They reinforced each others walls. In time, Minako hoped, they would all learn to grow and recover from love. She hoped the world wasn't going to end today and that they would all get the chance.
Minako picked up her pace. Her Princess waited for her. Her Senshi needed her. Usagi's heart, their strength. That had been enough to hold back the apocalypse at least two...maybe three times?
Minako smiled, feeling refreshed. There it was, her reason for fighting.
She believed in Sailor Moon. She believed in her Senshi. The Silence didn't stand a chance.
She arrived last at the High School of Doom. Ami was there, scanning the area diligently. Rei, meditating on the upcoming battle. Makoto, eyes darting from shadow to shadow, practically buzzing with anticipation. Usagi in the centre, hopeful as ever. They were all here. Her Senshi. Her Princess.
Minako smiled. These were the people she wanted at her side for the oncoming Silence.
-End-
A.N.
Thank you for reading!
Ittekimasu - Japanese goodbye typically used a person that is leaving the house. It roughly translates to "I'm leaving now, and I'll be back later"
The poems Ami thinks of are as follows:
1 - The Second Coming - William Butler Yeats*
2 - Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night - Dylan Thomas
3 - Ozymandias - Percy Bysshe Shelley
4 - Rime of the Ancient Mariner - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
5 - She Walks in Beauty - Lord Byron
6 - Alphabet Aerobics - Blackalicious (this is the only one that is NOT public domain, I own no rights etc)
7 - the Death Poem of the Japanese Zen Master Hakuin (1685-1786) Translation found on Wikipedia as follows:
Oh young folk
If you fear death
Die now!
Having died once
You won't die again.
Because apparently Ami loves irony.
*P.S. I just found out via Youtube that a Japanese translation of "The Second Coming" was used as Sailor Saturn's image poem on one of the Sailor Moon Poem & Music collections. Search for "Sailor Moon Sairai Second Coming" to hear Hotaru's voice actress read the poem. It is beautiful. Inclusion of the poem in this fic was a happy coincidence.