Maximum Effort

Italics-Thoughts

Bold-Fourth wall breaks

AN: This is just an early idea. Saw the movie for Deadpool three times! Such an amazing experience. If this is well received, I'll continue with the story. Let me know what you think! This will have elements from the movie in it. I only did minor editing as well, so sorry for any mistakes!

Burbank, California.

Tuesday, December 22nd, 1:30 pm.

The highway was busy. Cars whizzed around in multiple directions, occupants rushing to make it to work, or simply to purchase that one gift their child wanted for Christmas. Christmas time was such a chaotic time of the year, where the human race took part in a barbaric and materialistic ri-

Writer we talked about this, no bullshit time waisting! Fuuuuuuuuck get a load of this guy!

Sorry sorry... On an overpass, high above the main highway, sat a man dressed head to toe in red, jamming to a DMX song playing from his Iphone.

Music and the chaos of the highway, what a soothing combination!

The figure had two long swords on his back, as well as two giant pistols, S&W 500's, on either hip.

"Hi," the figure didn't look u- "Shut up with the "figure" shit, I mean come on these guys know its me! I mean they clicked on this story to read about yours truly."

The figu-Chuck looked towards the camera, face hidden behind a red mask with black circles around each eye, pupils hidden behind white mesh, "Hows it going! Welcome to my fanfiction story, written by some bored douche bag, if I can be so blunt. And why couldn't I be? Not like cunt face is gonna do anything. Wanna know something? Shits about to go down, so sit back, relax, enjoy and above all else, pay attention! Oh and no complaining, or else someones getting a sword shoved straight up their a-OH! Look, fun time!"

Chuck pointed excitedly towards a giant convoy of government vehicles. A row of 4 black SUV's flew down the road. Cars hopped eagerly out of their way, to avoid any issues.

"Ah, there they are! I was nervous I chose the wrong overpass, highway combination," Chuck pulled a big hello kitty bag, which was packed full of firearms, on to his lap, "Hahaha I already did that once today... And unfortunately for the general public, a group of SUV's was driving on that same highway... I got confused and... Moving on." Chuck stood up, bag in hand, giggling to himself, "I brought soooooooooo many guns for this party! It's as they say, there's never to much when it comes to showing someone, or someone's, how much you care!" Chuck zipped the bag closed, squealing with delight.

"I know your all confused right now. Probably wondering how the writer is going to stretch two fictions to the point where it makes sense that Chuck Bartowski, or Zachary Levi; such a beautiful man, would become the ever dashing Deadpool... others clicked this fic in error, attempting to click on another one.. I have done that as well. I mean not with fanfiction, with porn. Meant to go for blonde on blonde and accidently hit-" Chuck visible shivered "Moving on."

"Let me tell you a bit of the story... I should have the time. I can help you understand my past..."

-D-E-A-D-P-O-O-L-

My story starts 1 1/2 years ago, back when I didn't look like road kill... Or play doe that had a little to much sun time... You get what I'm saying reader, I had the looks!

Chuck sat at the Nerd Herd desk looking over his tasks for the day. A regular was coming in for his monthly virus removal. A 40 year old who had a knack for downloading porn with viruses in it. Beyond the regular, the rest of the day was general work tasks. The Buymore had a big inspection coming up, so all back logged work and even the stuff Big Mike never asked them to do, had to be done by the end of the week. On top of that the need for the intersect had doubled in the last month. Chuck was constantly on missions, missing work or simply being out all night, causing issues with work performance. Chuck could only assume he was on thin ice.

Can I even get fired from here? CIA and NSA like me working here, not sure they would allow it-

Chucks thoughts were interrupted by as a letter hit him in the side of the head, thrown by none other than Jeff. Retrieving the letter from the floor, Chuck looked to his right where Jeff and Lester were leaning on the Nerd Herd desk, giggling like school girls, dressed in, what Chuck assumed was their Jeffester outfits. Both were dressed in black leather outfits, which had giant gaps on various parts of the suit, revealing way to much skin.

Might as well be BDSM outfits... Oh god I hope they are aren't! What if the letter is an invite to a BDSM party!

Chuck pride open the envelope, and slowly removed a picture from inside. The picture showed Jeff and Lester, posed in, what Chuck could only assume, was there version of a sexy pose. The background of the photo was pitch black with strobe lights flashing in the background.

BDSM it is.. I'm going to be sick

"Christ, do I need to repeat HR's memo. You cannot hit on coworkers or customers... Emphasis on the coworker part!"

They both looked confused for a moment before Lester spoke, "Listen Charles, no one is hitting on anyone. We are giving you a VIP pass to Jeffesters gig at this small club we are performing at."

Jeff nodded dumbly.

Chuck shook his head, amused, "Okay, it's just with the lack of "You are invited", "Jeffester" or... words in general, you can understand my confusion... The suits are also a bit BDSM-y..."

Lest immediately had a look of annoyance on his face, ""BDSM-y" Charles," he said making air quotes, "No, Jeff picked these suits out! They are top of the line performance outfits!"

"Yeah (Burp)", came Jeffs short reply.

"They even come with cool masks!" Lester reached into a bag that rested on the floor near his feat.

Lester knelt down for a brief moment before standing up excitedly. It was an all leather mask. With zippers that could seal the eyes and mouth. Dear god.

"Okay, Jeff what was the description for these "outfits"..." Chuck looked expectantly at Jeff.

"It said something like, "For your darkest performance, unleash the beast in the bedroom or something.. I figure it'll work on stage as well.." Jeff trailed of as he steadied himself against the Nerd Herd desk.

"Did it mention BDSM?"whispered Chuck, as a customer walked by.

Jeff nodded, "Yeah, pretty sure that's the designer (burp) or something."

Chuck grinned as Lester looked from Chuck to Jeff multiple times before slowly taking the mask off, "I uh think I'm going to go change..."

"Not your worst idea today," laughed Chuck.

Lester took off, leaving Jeff and Chuck standing at Nerd Herd central.

"You might want to go change to..."

Jeff looked at Chuck, "No spare clothes..."

Chuck tilted his head, mildly annoyed, "Your supposed to start your shift in 20.."

"I could work like this-"

"No, no, no, no, no, n-n-n-no," interrupted Chuck, "just go home.. Please. Change and come back, or don't. I just can't look at that suit any more... Your like a strong wind from showing off little Jeff and at that point, I kill myself.."

Jeff smiled, the fact that he was drunk showing in his drunken smile, "Cool, day off. Thanks Chuckles. You're the best supervisor ever!"

As he turned, he left Chuck with a final goodbye view. His pants were ass less. So much Jeff was burned into Chucks brain..

Fuck.. I hope I get fired... Soon..

Chuck slammed his head on his desk, contemplating just staying with his head on the desk for the whole day. But Casey quickly crushed that idea with quick jab to the side and string of insults. Chuck began the monotony that was his job.

-X-

As Chuck work, his thoughts rushing through his mind, he realized something. The only pleasure that work provided him these days was it allowed him to be away from Sarah. God she was... He growled a bit in his mind. He loved her, but after Bryce requested that Chuck cool things down, it was a hostel environment between the two. Sarah began taking seduction missions to get back at him, rarely spoke with him when they were alone.. It was horrible. Chuck had at least thought they were friends. Maybe that wasn't true.. Pushing the thoughts out, Chuck focused on work. Hours flew by, and before he knew it, lunch had arrived. He started walking towards the break room when he felt the first pang of pain. It was brutal. It ripped through his stomach all the way up the his head. Chuck had to grab on to a video game rack near by for support. His vision blurred heavily. He heard gasps from coworkers around him, even felt Casey trying to help steady him.

"What's wrong Bartowski?!"

Chuck looked at him, face blank, eyes barely open, "I saw Jeffs ass... Knew it would kill me.. Fuck..."

Chuck collapsed.

-D-E-A-D-P-O-O-L-

"Let's put a pin in the story, reader, as my friends are almost here!"

Chuck stood up, cracking his neck, and fingers, "Hey, ummm look, if our friends in the SUV say anything to you, please refer to me as Deadpool, cuddle master, or even Senior Pool, just avoid Chuck... They think I'm dead! (Giggles). Honestly I don't think they can break the 4th anyway."

Chuck watched as the SUVs pulled hit the spot he needed them to.

"Pst! Reader! Wish me luck!" Chuck took a step off the ledge of the over pass, plummeting towards the convoy of government SUVs below, "I'm not kidding, I've never tried this before!"

-D-E-A-D-P-O-O-L-