Mia squinted. She tried to turn the room the right way around. Was everything supposed to be upside down? Even through her groggy state she still manages to distinguish the figure of her boyfriend Michael walking towards her.

"Mia, are you okay?" He asked whilst trying to balance her. Mia smiled drunkenly. "Just dandy" She said as she hiccupped. The distinctive smell of rum wafted from her breathe now ready for Michael's suspicious sense of smell to pick up. Michael looked nervously at Mia, recognising the scent from the constant parties on campus.

Michael closed his eyes, he began an internal monologue "She isn't drunk she can't be drunk!" she said to himself. He opened his eyes again and focused fiercely on Mia. "Ok Mia. What have you drunken today?" He hoped desperately for some kind of recognition of her sobriety.

Mia smiled again. "Just some pretty bubbly stuff. It was quiet nice oh, and the thing Johnny drinks in that Pirates Movie, I can see why he's always drunk!" Michael closed his eyes again hoping to calm himself with his convoluted logic. "No, She is not drunk. She just had some bad soda. Soda doesn't make you tipsy but its better then the alcohol theory." He reopened his eyes and looked down at his hopeless girlfriend.

Mia was re adjusting her tiara until it sat at a very unroyal angel, fearing it would slide off Michael pushed it back slightly so it sat at least half right on her forehead. Bored with the questions and still under the wonderful impression of the 'bad soda' she started playing with his bow-tie. Michael slapped away her playful fingers, finally coming to the conclusion that there was no way that he could diffuse the situation without first knowing what it was.

"Ok, Mia. No-offence but as you boyfriend it's my duty to ask you this. Are you drunk?" Mia burped loudly. She began to reek of champagne and rum. He couldn't help himself, his fear which quickly turned to anger rose up and escaped in the form of words. "You're drunk!" He shouted. He went into immediate panic mode. Mia didn't notice she was too busy playing with his bow tie.

Mia felt the world swing from under her feet again. Just as she wondered whether the ballroom was supposed to do that she fell very ungracefully to the marble floor. Michael half caught her. Momentarily her drunken stupor subsided and was replaced with that warm fizzy feeling she got from Michael wrapping his harms around her, suddenly the ballroom stopped moving but unfortunately her stomach hadn't. He heaved and held back her inevitable unprincess-like vomit.

"Mia? Mia!!" he whispered earnestly concerned, pulling the stray strands of hair away from her pale face. She looked lazily up at Michael and hiccuped quite happy to sit on the floor and sway to the sound of the orchestra.

"We have to hide you! If your dad sees you like this were BOTH dead and I'll be held in a Genovian jail cell and you'll be sent to some French nunnery until everyone dies and you have to claim the throne!" Michael said franticly trying to scoop Mia up and maintain as much of her dignity as possible. Michael really did think he was going to die.

Mia thought for a moment and proudly came up with a slightly slurred but still reasonably witty reply. "The nunnery, I doubt. I'll most likely be sentenced to marry Prince Philippe which should be as bad as death for you, me being your one and only and you'll be whacked by Joe's friends. Anyway you didn't get me loaded!" Michael gave up on the whole scooping thing grabbed her arm and began leading her roughly to into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and seated her on the countertop, after he pushed the irritating number of vases overflowing with flowers away to make room.

"Mia, one meaning of that phrase isn't related to alcohol!" he said slightly embarrassed that his girlfriend had made an unknown pass at seduction. He sucked in sharp breath as he heard some French guards begin murmuring into their walkie-talkies outside the door. He had to get her in and out fast or Joe would wonder why he was trying to clean Mia up or worse what the hell he was doing with her in the bathroom in the first place. Although he kind of hoped that he would of tagged Michael as a more romantic guy. Quickies in over flowered bathrooms were not his style. Michael really didn't like the idea trying to explain to Mia's dad why they were in a bathroom together. He pulled a handtowel from the rack, dampened it and began to press it around Mia's face. It turned into jabbing as he drifted in and out of his thoughts of possible torture. Mia began trying to slap Michaels evil hand towel away without allot of luck. All that it was accomplishing was making her stomach turn on her again.

"Stop jabbing at me! The world is mucked up enough without you randomly pushing a towel up against me. Why do bloody royals always have to overpay with their parties? I mean what's the use of making everything swirly?" Mia's thoughts became swirly too, drifting onto more interesting ideas. "s this what getting high is like?" Michael dropped the towel onto Mia's lap and glared as she was about to indigently say something.

He continued to pat her face with the towel, less for it being a proven hangover cure and moreso for him having a lack of a better idea. "I don't know what getting high is like Mia. I doubt you do ether. God I never thought I'd have this conversation with you!" Mia smiled, she couldn't help but enjoy the moment, she was alone in a pretty room with her boyfriend whose neck smelled as lovely as usual.

She was completely and utterly alone with her wonderful boyfriend and she still had the warm courage of alcohol to help her on her way to becoming a REAL woman. "You know Michael you look really hot right now!" She stopped short and reran that sentence in her head. That was her big line? How dumb! She wanted to kick herself. "Thank you" he said whilst he continued patting her face. He tried focused even harder on the towel. He then stopped and looked at Mia.

"Mia there is no way that I can hide all the drunken evidence and unless you want every single member of the international press to have headlines Princess Mia, Her Royal Drunkenness - then I suggest you make a hasty excuse to leave and tell your mom that you sleeping over at Lilly's, ok?" Mia pretended to look disappointed. But she was smiling on the inside. Lilly wouldn't want to leave and Joe has the night off and is hitting on her French teacher who is wearing a very alluring low cut gown. Being alone in a whole apartment with her boyfriend seemed like an awfully good upgrade to the pollen filled bathroom. Maybe this won't turn out such a bad night after all.

"Oh ok. If you say so" Michael nervously noted the almost happy tone in her voice. A headline that Mia was drunk was one thing but a headline that Princess Mia had been knocked up by some American guy was completely another.

He guided Mia through the human obstacle course before her. He was on his game, dodging both diplomats and social climbers with fake boobs. He was searching for the familiar face of Mia's mother. He spotted her glaring at Mia's father and pretending to drink her fruit punch.

"Ok. Mia. Focus. Try not to sway or swear. You're sleeping over at Lilly's house. Ok? Ok! Lets go." He guided her to what he hoped wouldn't be their undoing. Mia took a breath knowing her mother wouldn't question her in the least.

"Mom, I'm sleeping over at Lilly's" Michael began breathing again when he mother waved her hand gaily in Mia's direction and then turned to smile approving before looking back at the newly spotted algebra teacher with a ringless wedding finger.

Mia hiccuped, before the incriminating smells wafted up to the knowing nose of her parent Michael immediately began leading her away. He found his car and led Mia by her shoulders into the front seat. "Ok. We can stop by your place and pick up some night things and your first of many bottles of water for the night". Mia wasn't listening. She was plotting her very romantic night with her boyfriend. Just as long as this warm feeling that seemed to scare away any doubts or nagging common sense she would be sure to have fun.

I don't own the Princess Diaries.
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