This is awful.
When I saw him in the hospital,
I just broke.
I'm so sorry Ponyboy,
Soda, too.
I don't know what I'm doing.
Maybe I'm not a good guardian,
But they're all I got left.
Thinking back on everything,
I never should've hit Pony.
He never would've run away,
Then Johnny and him wouldn't
Have gone to the park.
Bob's murder,
It never would have happened.
My poor brothers are breaking,
And I can't even help them.
Maybe I'm not fit for this.
I'm not enough like Dad, too much like Mom.
Always pushing my kid brother,
Maybe too far.
But I know he could be great.
We could send him to college.
He'd get the chance I never had.
But that's okay.
I know I'm not
"All brawn and no brain."
Still, I know we may not be together forever.
But we gotta make do as long as we can.