Disclaimer: Not mine. These folks all belong to Adam & Ed and ABC.

A/N: This is a series of vignettes of what our dear Zelena might be thinking about all these recent developments in her life. This chapter starts with 5x16 Our Decay and ends at 5x17 Her Handsome Hero. Future chapters will follow future episodes - up until the season finale. Originally I thought these were drabbles, but alas - it seems I've been bitten by the Character Study bug. Honestly, I couldn't help myself. Zades/HellWitch has latched onto my little shipper heart and refuses to let go. Had to write about it.

5x16: Our Decay

It isn't possible. No one can love her. Her tattered heart cries out within her, contrariwise, but her hate and lust for vengeance smothers those pleas with the cold realities of logic. A mere smattering of hours is not enough to create love, especially True Love. Hades, dashing though he may be, was using her for her power and her magic.

The plush emerald green cushion of the golden chair offers neither comfort nor luxury for her this evening. Nor does the elegant table setting spread before her. With a wave of her hand, she wipes it all away into smoke, leaving the stage of the Wizard empty.

There. Like it never happened.

But it did, and a prickle of uncertainty sends a momentary chill up her spine as she remembers his threat. Would he return tonight, while she slept, and cause her harm? Would he lie in wait, for months, perhaps years, and then seek his revenge? Or would he heed her and never visit her again?

She understood little of his magic, it crackled with an energy so unlike her own. It was icy fire that arced like dry lightning, where hers was the familiar thickness of dark power, colored to match the true spirit of her soul. She sets another protection spell around the jeweled box containing the brain of the doddering Scarecrow. Hades would not take her prize from her. In a burst of insecurity, she casts a larger version of the spell around the room. Drained, she decides to retire early. But sleep doesn't come easy for her that night, nor the next nights after. Memories of eyes the color of the sky haunt her thoughts and raise questions she is unwilling, or perhaps unable to answer.

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The slightly battered house she took shelter in with her daughter has now been claimed as her own. But without her magic, it offers little protection from the inhabitants of this land, or their ruler.

He is quite charming, she thinks casually as she tries to heal her twisted ankle. Frustration at her failure to work magic in this forsaken world has faded into the exhausted state of bemused speculation. He has not aged a day, but gods are immortal, aren't they? Imagine, her – the wife of a god, of all things. Why, it would make her a queen. Just like Regina, in her heyday before she got all wrapped up in Robin and went all goody-goody. Hades was offering her more than he realized, or perhaps that was part of his plan. He would make her his Queen, and they would rule the Underworld together. Underbrooke. He made it for me.

But did he? Why go to so much effort, when she hadn't seen nor heard from him in so many years? He offered her this world – claimed it to be theirs and called it 'home'.

Despite his generosity, so unfamiliar and deeply moving, her instincts flared in alarm. She had not forgotten his threat and just as many years before, she knew he was not to be trusted. His motives – True Love – were too sincere, too convenient. He wanted something from her – most likely her time-travel spell. Recreating that debacle was low on her list of priorities right now; it was her daughter that was most important.

The thought of her child with Robin and her sister stoked the ever-present flames of jealousy and loathing. Her daughter was hers, not Regina's. Yet for now, they could protect her in ways that she herself never could. Her ire returning, she tries again to heal herself, a strained whimper escaping from her lips. What did it bloody take to make magic work here? An image of asking Hades for assistance flickered through her mind. Never. She would learn on her own – and once she did, she and her daughter would leave this wretched place forever.

'But where will you go?' her heart asked quietly. She dismissed that confounded emotional plea as well, and spent the rest of the evening alternating between attempts at magic and subduing newly imprinted memories of a man who claimed once more to love her.

5x17: Her Handsome Hero

The land of the dead was different than she'd first assumed. For one, it seemed to disregard the laws of physics. The actual town of Storybrooke was geographically small, and here in Underbrooke, the landscape took the same footprint. But tens of thousands of souls were here, and they seemed to come and go in and out of the various nondescript buildings at random. Rarely did she see a repeated or even familiar face, eerily relieved none were of the many Hades claimed she had sent here. Oftentimes she found the streets bereft of a single soul, and she wondered if this was Hades doing.

She found the café easily, her stomach sending a sharp reminder that she'd eaten nothing since she'd arrived. But once inside, she found she wasn't hungry. Do the dead eat? Probably not – so what could they possibly serve her? She settled into a booth and despite her attempts to focus on a plan to return with her daughter to the real world, she found herself staring out the window and daydreaming. This could be mine. All of it. With him.

Flights of fancy weren't her style, but the idea of True Love and Hades words from the evening before were finding fertile ground within her imagination. What would it be like to kiss someone who was her True Love? Would they marry? Zelena wasn't sure she was comfortable spending the rest of her living days in the Underworld. The rest stop between Heaven and Hell was no place to raise a child. Still, if it were True Love, Hades would be free of his curse. They could return and live out a normal life. Was that really what she wanted? Domestic bliss with Hades didn't seem possible –he was a god. Gods don't discuss laundry and grocery shopping like she and Robin had done. So many around her had claimed that family was everything – that the love of family brought happiness. Could it do the same for her?

The ceramic clink of the coffee cup interrupted her musings and with a start she turned and met the warm brown eyes of her half-sister. There was a kindness echoed there that she'd seen before, and her resolve weakened as she allowed Regina to join her.

The soft words conveyed a genuine wish for them to connect. Emotions swirled within her as she watched Regina's reactions to the truth about Hades. The subsequent question of whether she loved him in return seemed to reach right into Zelena's heart. It screamed 'Yes!' in reply and the sheer intensity of what that meant drew tears. I shouldn't, she told herself. I can't possibly have a life with him. I must think of my daughter first. She is the only thing that matters now.

Her heart hardened when Regina made it clear why she was really visiting. Of course she was using her. Regina didn't care about her, nor would she ever do so. A part of her grew defiant and felt the need to defend Hades – he at least professed to care. And caring for Zelena was truly the only weakness she could see in him.

After her darling sister left, Zelena wondered if they could ever truly be a family. There was so much between them. Did Regina care that Robin had conceived a child with her? How could she not? Zelena wouldn't tolerate such a thing if the situation were reversed. Poor trusting and naïve Robin, he had been sweet and kind to her when they lived in that city… New York. The perfect semblance of domestic bliss. But Zelena's memory was shrouded by the haze of her vengeance – she only wanted to take what was Regina's. Stealing Robin away from her had led to the unexpected, but delightfully perfect revenge - the birth of a child sired by the man Regina loved. It was only after her daughter was born that things changed – and she still wasn't sure of any of it. So much emotion, and the overwhelming need to care for her child had sent Zelena into a tailspin.

Hours passed lost in thought, until the waitress in the Café of the Dead placed the tarnished serving platter before her. The decrepit flower was beautiful in its decay. Our decay. Hades was nothing if not consistent. Zelena felt her heart cry out once more, and the coolness of logic and vengeance were slow in silencing it this time. She smiled softly as she walked home, the notecard tucked within her pocket and her gaze focused on Hades' gift as she twirled it lightly between her fingertips.