I looked in his hazel eyes and despite the fact that I wanted to hate him I coudn't. I had hated him for six years. Starting with him bullying Sev first year. Too bad Sev turned into everything I hated. But James he changed too. He used to be the arroggant, bullying toerag but now he was anything but. He was sweet, kind, smart and yea he pulled pranks with the Mauraders but something was different. "You alright?" James asked breaking my concentration.
"Wha? - oh hey James. Yea I'm alright" I smiled weakly. But he gave me a penetrating look. I knew he could see right through my guise.
"Wow so we're on a first name basis! Huh?" he smiled and my heart melted. No Lily stop you can;t fall for him. "And I think you're lying. Is something wrong?" he paused but then frowne "Are you thining about Sniv...Snape again and his decision?"
"Surprisingly no. I've come to accept that we can't be friends since it's the darks arts or nothing with him" I said shrugging. I stopped remembering back:
~/~/~/~/~
"Come on join me Lily! We can be powerful!" Snape pleaded.
"Sev you're my friend! Why is it that you still can't see that what you're doing is wrong? Think of all those innocent people!" I cried.
"No one cares about those filthy mudbloods!" he cried.
"But I'm a 'filthy mudblood'! How am I any different?" my eyes narrowed.
"You're smart and can be useful!" he said but I just shook my head. "You are different!"
"If you find them lower than flobberworms than I am the same as them." I turned away.
"But?"
"No!" I screamed.
"Fine then you're worthless and the dark lord won't ask again. It's your funeral" he said his voice cold. I slowly walked away. I felt the tears stinging my eyes. I wasn't paying a bit of attention when I accidentally walked into him – James Potter.
~/~/~/~/~
"Hey" James said bringing me into a hug. That was when I realized I was crying. He was really warm and I instantly felt comforted and secure.
"It's just hard. We were so close for years and he chose the dark arts over me. I stood up for him and after everything he turned away" I cried clinging tighter to him. He gently stroked my hair and I felt his grip become a lot stronger suddenly. I turned around and saw Snape standing there.
"Hello Snape" James said anger rising in his voice.
"What are you doing here Potter" Snape said eyes narrowing.
"Lily was upset so I was comforting her."
"Highly unlikely she'd run to you."
"Well I did" I said cutting through their argument. I know I didn't really but I felt the need to stand up for James. "I was really upset with a friend so I went to him because I know HE actually understands."
"This is Potter! The arrogant toerag you hated!" Snape screamed.
"People change. I thought he was but he's proven to me to be otherwise" I fired back. I then took the daring leap that I knew wasn't expected "At least he won't hurt his friends and those that mean the most to him just for a bit of power." I turned away and looked at James who was still extremely tense and holding his wand at the ready just in case. I grabbed his hand and dragged him away "Come one James let's go. We have to go back to the common room or we'll both get detention."
"You actually call him James too?" Snape screamed incredulously with a hint of anger.
James and I continued to walk to the common room. I was still angry at Snape for again blowing up at me. "Hey Lily! Oh my Godric! You two are going out? I knew it all along! Have you snogged yet?" Marlene asked us rather excitedly. I looked down and realized that James and I were still holding hands. I looked up into his cockily smiling face and blushed and quickly looked away shyly but I didn't know why. James tightened his grip on my hand and said something to Marlene that I did not catch and just continued to drag me into the head's common room. He said the password but I still wasn't paying attention. I was still in my swirling world of thoughts about the wizard that was standing to my right holding my hand. I looked up into his eyes once more the blush returning to my cheeks.
He raised an eyebrow but did not say anything about it instead he said "Goodnight Lily I'll see you tomorrow morning." He then turned around and left but I just stood there. I was in shock. How could my best friend Marlene McKinnon think that I was dating James Potter the one wizard on the earth that could infuriate me. That bullying blighter sure knew how to drive me barmy. But why was I all of a sudden so concerned as to my best friend thought that we were snogging. Just then his voice cut through my thoughts "Hey Lily are you alright? You've been standing in that spot staring at my door for five minutes."
"I-I'm alright. I-I've j-just been thinking about – stuff" I replied stuttering. Great now he's going to know that I'm lying.
"Come on Lils I know you're lying" he smiled. Yup he knows. And oh that smile how I fancy it...wait why did I just think that? "Um...Lils why are you looking at me like that?" his grinned widened into a big goofy one.
"I don't know what you're talking about" I said trying to sound convincing but failing. I looked away from him.
"Come on you were smiling at me like you were dreaming or something." Man he was observant. I instantly blushed. What am I doing?
"I...it's nothing James..." I said looking down trying to hide the blush that was for some reason turning a darker shade.
"Oooo and I'm James now?" he asked happily and I sighed.
"Yes if we're going to be heads together I might as well treat you like a friend. Plus I'm friends with Remus or as you like to call him Moony so why should I treat you like a you're a toerag? If he sees that you're a good person then he has a reason. You can't be all that bad. It seems like you've managed to do some growing up over the summer" I smiled not understanding why I suddenly was becoming friends with James Potter the one git that I thought would never be my friend...well except for maybe the Slytherines and possibly Sirius. But then again Sirius was just like a big puppy dog. I smiled at the thought.
"I'd love you be you're friend Lily!" he exclaimed a little too excitedly but I smiled anyway.
"Well it's late so I'll see you tomorrow alright James? Good night!" and I walked into my room and fell on my bed sighing. What was going on with me? Why do I think that James was so good looking? I thought I hated him! Ah well he has become more mature. I fell asleep that night thinking about James.
When I woke up and went down for breakfast I saw James sitting with his Marauder friends. I smiled at them and sat down on the other side of James across from Remus. I smiled at them and put some eggs on my plate. "Hey guys how are my favorite group of Gryffindors doing?" I asked making James drop his fork, Remus choke on his pumpkin juice, Peter's mouth to fall open, and Sirius to let out a huge whoop.
"We're good Lily thank you for asking" Remus replied "So what brings you over to this end of the table?"
"Well the girls aren't down yet" I said shrugging "and you guys are my friends. I don't see why it's so abnormal for me to sit with you."
"Um well you see Flower it's like this. You hate us especially James" Sirius said curious.
"I don't hate you guys or Jamesy for that matter" I giggled "You guys just pulled to many pranks for my liking but it seems that James has grown up over the summer so you can't be all that bad."
"You seem to be in a better mood than last night" James smiled making my heart to flip and my face go bright red.
"Did you just call him Jamesy?" Sirius asked and I just smiled because in walked Marlene and Mary my two best friends in the world.
"Hey Lily I see you're with your boyfriend today" Marlene said making everyone stop and look at James and I.
"We aren't dating Marlene" James said "I told you that last night. She was upset with Sniv-Snape last night for what he said to her and we accidentally ended up holding hand." He looked down at his plate and for some reason I slid my hand into his and smiled. Before he could say anything else an arrogant guy named Derek Creeter walked over.
"Hey Lily would you like to go to Hogsmede with me this weekend?" he asked making all the color drain from my face. I opened my mouth but nothing came out instead I looked over at James for help.
"She'd love to go Derek" Marlene smiled making me throw an angry look at her which made her smile even more and make all the guys looked curious.
"Actually I'm sorry but I don't-" I said before I was cut off.
"Okay cool I'll meet you at the Entrance Hall" he said smiling evilly at James and then walked away.
When he finally left I turned to Marlene with the evilest look anyone had ever seen me wear. I didn't even have a look like this all those times James annoyed me. "What the bloody hell was that about?" I seethed "I do not like that arrogant toerag! He's vile, disgusting and all he wants is to get in my pants! Why would I go for someone like that when I already have someone in mind that I want?" I suddenly wished I hadn't said that because every single eye that was already on me instantly grew wider except for James who's eyes got duller with a hint of sadness.
"You had someone else in mind?" Marlene asked me "Who?" I looked at James and met his eyes but instantly turned the shade of a tomato. He looked at me in surprise but I looked away only to meet Remus' eyes. He gave me a penetrating look but I looked down at my plate wishing that I didn't say anything.
"I...I'd rather not say at the moment" I mumbled "I didn't mean to say that...I mean I only kinda realized that I might like him last night...which was why I was staring at his door for five minutes...I mean...I...nevermind" I grabbed my stuff and ran to Transfiguration which we had first thing that morning. I felt a hand on my shoulder to see Marlene and Mary standing behind me.
"I didn't know Lily I'm sorry!" Marlene said.
"No it's not your fault I didn't get to tell you guys. I was just overreacting. I'll just go tell Derek that I don't want to go to Hogsmede" I said calming down a little.
"You are not going to tell me that because you will go with me to Hogsmede whether you like it or not!" said an angry voice coming from behind us "You will go with me and forget all about that Potter" he spat.
"What has James have got to do with anything?" I asked my eyes narrowing.
"Everything. I see the way you looked at him this morning."
"Wait you like James Potter?" Mary screamed making people in the hallway stop and stare. I turned to say something to her only to see James and the Marauders standing there looking at me. I felt a blush creeping onto my face but I couldn't look away from James.
"Of course she doesn't that's why she's going with me to Hogsmede" Derek said grabbing my arm and forcefully dragging me into the classroom. He flung me in a chair and sat down next to me. "And don't you get any ideas Missy because they won't work" he growled. I sat in silence the rest of class while Creeter played with my hair, touched my face, and glared at James.
The rest of the week went much the same. Whatever class I was in with Creeter he did this. He slowly withdrew me from my friends. I barely talked to anyone except for James and that was because we shared a dorm and we had head duties together. James could tell I was upset but I didn't say anything to him. I didn't tell him what was going on because my spirit was already broken. Derek had made me believe that I couldn't have anyone. When Saturday finally came I walked to the Entrance Hall in silence with the tears from last night still in my eyes. I saw Derek and he grabbed my hand and walked me to the village. He talked on and on about himself while I just nodded at him to show that I was listening. No one had ever seen me like this. I was always strong and I always fought. But what they didn't know was that he had shown me how truly evil he was. I didn't understand how someone in Gryffindor could be that evil but remembered that Dumbledore said to me once 'I think we sort too soon.'
"Are you even listening to me?" Derek raged but before he let me answer he slammed his disgusting lips against mine. I felt gross. I felt like I was going to get sick. I felt like someone should just Avada Kedavra me right at that moment. "If you ever want your precious Potter to stay safe you'll stay with me."
"What does Potter have to do with this?" I asked a little worried about James.
"If you break up with me then I will be forced to Crucio him" he shrugged.
"You wouldn't! That's unforgivable!" I shrieked before he slammed his lips against mine again make me want to get sick. I tried to push him off but he just threw me against the wall and started to kiss me harder. I hadn't realized that the Marauders were standing close by watching and listening to the entire thing.
"Get off of her" I heard a strong voice say. Finally Derek pulled off of me and I saw that it was Sirius. I looked to see Peter and Remus holding James back so that he wouldn't attack Derek and do something he regretted.
"What are you going to do? You can't do anything without your beloved group of morons" Derek said lazily.
"They aren't morons! They are awesome people and some of my friends!" I said angrily.
"Well you can't see them because you are mine now and I decide who's your friends and I say no guys. Don't you remember what I told you? Do you really want him to get hurt?" he asked coldly. I knew he was blackmailing me but I didn't want James to get hurt or any of the other Marauders for that matter.
"OK...let's just go back to the castle" I said quietly hanging me head. I looked up slightly to see James staring at me with pleading eyes. I felt the tears sting my eyes but I mouthed 'sorry' to him before I was dragged off. I felt completely sick to my stomach and wished there was something I could do.
The weekend past and the week dragged on like someone was trudging though molasses. The only two things besides class I did was my head duties and studying. It was always in the library with Derek. The girls stopped talking to me but they gave me looks of encouragement when I tried to fight so something told me that Derek hexed them. Soon I started to see that Derek was slacking off and actually acting nice towards the end of the week. He would compliment me about how smart I was or how pretty I was. I smiled at this thinking that he was trying to be nice and be the way a real boyfriend was supposed to be.
It was the day after the full moon and I knew that Remus would be in the hospital wing. I walked over to him knowing that the guys wouldn't be there for a little while. I sat down next to his bed crying and he looked up at me. "I'm sorry Remus! I hate this. You guys are my friends and I can't talk to you. It's all because I'm trying to protect Potter" I said quietly.
"What does this have to do with James?" he asked sitting up suddenly and staring at me.
"Everything. But do you promise not to tell him anything?" I asked and he nodded. I breathed and then went into my story about what had happened. How I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone but his friends. How he hated James and how if I talked to James he'd hurt him. When I finished Remus was smiling at me "What?" I asked.
He smiled at me and looked over my shoulder. I turned to see nothing there turning back to him he started talking. "You care that much about James Potter the wizard that you've hated since first year. The wizard who you called an arrogant, cocky, bullying toerag. You care about him so much that you are willing to be in a relationship that you're unhappy with. An abusive relationship at that, just so that James won't get hurt. Yet you still claim that you hate him? I saw the look you gave him that day in Hogsmede when we confronted Derek. You looked at him and said sorry he was confused but I know what was going on. You do realize that James can take care of himself right?"
"I know that but still. You guys don't know what Derek's capable of. He's used dark magic before and don't you dare tell me that he's in Gryffindor so he's innocent."
"I would never say that. I know what he's doing I see it everyday. I see you're spirit get broken further everyday. I see the way you look at James longingly. He may not notice since he's wrapped up in the fact that you're dating that arrogant fool Derek. Don't give me that look we all hated him since first year. He was competition to James and we all wanted James with you. You love James and you're scared that you're going to lose him if you break up with Derek. Why don't you let us handle Derek?"
"I-How did you know Remus?" I asked completely shocked.
"You act different around him. You always claim that it's because you think that he's a toerag and that he's arrogant but you enjoy the attention he gives you. You like the fights that the two of you have. And the day that Derek asked you out you were acting weird before he came. You actually sat with us and you were smiling a lot at James. Marlene seemed to be under the impression that you two were dating and you blushed an awful lot about that. When Derek asked you out however you were angry. Angrier than when Snivellus called you a you-know-what. I see how you look longingly at James wishing it was him and I see how when Derek catches you he makes sure that you get punished. And don't tell me that he doesn't do anything because I saw that day in the library when we walked by and then Derek yelled something and you screamed. We had to hold James back from tearing Derek limb from limb." I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "I also heard that the only words you spoke to James the whole two weeks was 'Be careful with the guys tonight James' and that was last night. Yes I know about that he told us. I know you care about him but why are you so stubborn as to avoiding our help?"
I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "The thing is Remus is that you can't do anything about it unless you guys know away to get him to break up with me. But of course you guys are smart and clever. I'm just stupid and idiotic..."
"Don't you dare say that about yourself!" Remus screamed. It was the first time that I had ever seen Remus angry and it scared me. "You are the brightest witch of our age. You beat everyone in every class except in Transfiguration which James rivals you for being the best. You are being abused and you're afraid. Let us help!"
"Only if you don't get caught" I said quietly.
"We never do" he smiled and I saw a twinkle in his eyes.
"James is rubbing off on you" I smiled.
"You mean the world to him and you're one of my best friends" he shrugged. "By the way how did you know about the guys?"
"Well...I heard you guys talking about it one day and when I was doing head duties a month ago and I was walking out on the grounds wondering where James was when I saw you. I tried to run away but a Stag came up and helped me. It looked like James. I didn't ask him because I didn't want to confront you guys about it and I believe that you guys are doing the right thing."
"You think that they're doing the right thing?" he asked and I nodded. Just then we turned to the entrance of the hospital wing and saw Dumbledore standing there. "Hello Professor."
"Lily, Remus how have you two been" Dumbledore asked.
"Good" Remus replied.
"I've been better" I sighed.
"I've already talked to Derek Creeter, Lily he is going to be nicer to you" Dumbledore said. I opened my mouth to ask how he knew and he said "I've seen the way he acts around you. Oh and if you want to know there are three boys standing under an invisibility. And before you get mad Remus would have told them what happened anyway so do not get mad. They all want to help you and if I were you I would let them" he smiled.
"Sir? Can you read minds?" I asked.
"No I am just skilled in Occlumency" he smiled.
"Isn't that like the same thing?" I asked but he just smiled at me.
"Now before I leave please may I ask two things of you?" I nodded "Good. The first is if you and the boys would like to join the Order of Pheonix after you graduate?"
"YES!" we all chorused together while the three musketeers threw off the invisibility cloak.
"Alright" he chuckled at our reactions "Now the second is a matter of the heart Lily. I know that your patronus has changed. Filius has told me. It was an otter am I right?" I nodded in response. Every eye was on me. I had not told anyone except Professor Flitwick about the change. "May I see it?" he asked and I nodded.
"Expecto Patronum" I said calmly letting the silver doe burst out from the end of my wand and run around the room before stopping at James. I looked him in the eye and I felt my face burn. I looked up at Dumbledore but he was only smiling. "Sir Professor Flitwick was not exactly clear. Why do patronuses change?"
"They change because of a life-changing events. They change because of your perspective and your emotions. For you it is mainly your emotions I assume" he said.
"That proves what I told you earlier Lily" Remus said to me and I blushed even further.
"Thank you sir" I said to Dumbledore and then "I...I gotta go guys" before running out of the hospital wing.
As I ran out I heard 'What were you telling her?' from someone but I ignored the response. I ran up to the Gryffindor common room and I saw Mary and Marlene. They looked at me angrily until they realized that I was crying. I knew that they were angry but I was going to make it right. "Hey can I talk to you somewhere private?" I asked through my tears and they nodded leading me to their dorm. We sat down on Mary's bed and I started crying further remembering all the fun times we had here over the years. The two exchanged worried glances so I took a deep breath attempting to calm myself. I then went into my story about what happened. I told them about all the things that Derek had said and did. I told them how stupid I was for not talking to them and how I deserved to be hated. I was about to go on when Marlene cut me off "Lily Evans you are the smartest girl I know. It was my fault that this happened because I told Derek that you'd go to Hogsmede with him. I thought he wasn't that bad but I was wrong. It's my fault yet you take the blame for everything! Just stop OK! We aren't mad at you." I nodded and continued my story telling them about my conversation with Remus and how Dumbledore came in and how James, Sirius, and Peter were hiding though I left out the part that they had an invisibility cloak and that Remus was a werewolf and that the guys were animaguses. They both looked at me astonished.
"Your patronus changed?" Mary asked and I nodded showing them.
"You love James Potter?" Marlene asked and I giggled.
"That's what Remus says but I don't know" I said looking out the window to see a Stag and a dog chasing each other. It's nice to know that they are enjoying themselves and not being mad at me.
"How do you feel around him?" Marlene asked.
"Um...well I get butterflies, my heart does a flip, I'm trying to save him from Derek, and whenever Derek tries to kiss me or when he puts his hand on my shoulder or something I instantly wish it was James" I blushed.
"Merlin's beard! Lily!" gushed Mary hugging me. She would be happy that I finally fell for James. She's only been asking me since fifth year if I liked him.
"What should I do?" I asked them.
"Well let's do some homework" Marlene said "I missed working with you." We started our Charms essay and I looked out the window again noticing that James was headed out to quidditch practice. It was 9 o'clock by the time we finished our homework and I said goodnight going to back to my dorm. I sat down by the fire and sighed.
I was staring into the fire in the common room thinking about Derek. I only saw him for one minute at breakfast and he had told me not to be near James. Oh so now he's James again...well yea he's my friend...you haven't been civil to him for two weeks ever since you started dating that other toerag...wait since when has Derek been a toerag?...since when has James been an innocent party?...You love Derek!...oh you do? It's been two weeks and he's been horrible to you and he's been over-protective. You barely see Moony or the girls anymore!...I know he can be bad but he's-nice...only when he wants something.
"Hey Li-Evans" I heard a male voice say. I looked up and there was James soaking wet after quidditch practice. He smiled at me when I raised an eyebrow and said "It was raining and I wasn't going to let some rain stop us." I smiled slightly but looked back at the fire and frowned. "Are you okay?" he asked. NO! I hate Derek, I wanna break up with him and you are looking so nice right now that I want to snog you senseless.
"I-I'm fine" I said and paused but then asked "How do you get a guy to go away?" he frowned but I giggled making him raise an eyebrow at me. "Not you Jamesy I'm talking about Creeter." His face brightened at this.
"Um first of all...Jamesy?" he asked and I blushed. I didn't even give Creeter a nickname and he was my boyfriend." And I think you'll want to see something" he said frowning a bit. He pulled out his invisibility cloak and walked over to me. He put it over the both of us. I felt for his hand and grabbed it not quite sure what I was doing. He led me to an empty classroom and took the cloak off of me. I walked in and saw Derek snogging a Ravenclaw.
"Hello Derek Creeter" I said making them both jump. "I would just like to inform you that you are no longer my boyfriend" I smiled "oh and by the way you two have detention for being out this late."
"Well what about you? Why are you out" Creeter asked.
"I'm head girl and I was helping patrol the corridors" I lied.
"Well then where's Potter?" he asked seething.
"What is with this preoccupation with James?" I asked making him even angrier I smiled and continued "I told James to go ahead and that I'd meet him up ahead."
"Then you remember our deal? I don't think that you want James to get hurt but you leaving me."
"I can handle myself Creeter" James said taking off the cloak. "I understand that you're blackmailing Lily into staying with you because she doesn't want to see me hurt but leave her alone."
"Oh really let's see if we take care of her first" he smiled evilly. He turned to me and said "Crucio!" I felt pain, unbearable pain. I let out a scream as I fell to the floor. I never knew anything to be this horrible. I just wanted to die. I couldn't stand it.
"LEAVE HER ALONE!" I heard James scream
"Don't tell me what to do Potter" he yelled before screaming "Avada Ke-"
"Petrificus Totalus" Creeter fell to the ground and the pain stopped. I was relieved. I never wanted to feel that ever again in my life. Everyone was afraid of Avadra Kedavra well I would rather die quickly then slow and painful. I felt someone helping me off the floor and hold me close. "I asked Sirius to get Dumbledore so he should be here soon" he said.
"Actually I watched the whole fight James" we heard an old voice say. We turned around to see Dumbledore standing there smiling happily with Sirius, Peter, and Remus. "He will get suspended for this Lily but I know you won't be upset about that" he smiled even more. "Ah to be young and in love" he said before walking away with Creeter and the Ravenclaw leaving the five of us.
"G-guys I-I wanted t-to say th-thanks" I stuttered trying to hide the blush that was growing on my face.
"Gulping gargoyles! Lily! You're alright!" Mary screamed running in the room and pushing the Marauders out of the way and giving me a huge hug. I smiled at her and she let me go to have Marlene hug me. I was the happiest I had been in two weeks but for some reason I couldn't help but cry.
"Lily are you alright?" Marlene asked breaking the hug to look at me. I nodded but she didn't let it go "What's wrong?" she asked.
"I don't know" I said quite confused myself making Marlene laugh. I looked up at James and I knew exactly why in that moment. I was so close to losing him. The tears fell like rain and James walked over and hugged me. There was a few protests from Marlene and Mary but they stopped when they realized that I was comfortable. I hugged him tighter letting my tears fall. "I was so afraid James" I whispered for only him to hear.
"I know but everything's alright now. I promise" he whispered back. I looked at him and felt the sudden urge to kiss him but I stopped myself remembering that there was other people around. Our eyes connected and for a moment I couldn't breathe. I think James noticed this because he raised an eyebrow at me but then smiled. "I'll walk you to our dorm alright" he said and I nodded. I grabbed his hand and he smiled at me leading me out of the room. The group parted letting us through. As we walked I heard someone scream 'take that Creeper! Potter wins the girl!' I had a feeling it was Sirius and I just giggled. James looked over at me but he smiled as well. I knew that he had heard what was said as well. I knew that his hopes were up and that he had every right but I knew that he didn't want to be a rebound.
We walked down the corridors in silence still holding hands until we got to our dorm. He said the password and we entered. "James" I said as we entered the common room. He turned to face me and I felt the butterflies again. "Can you promise me something?"
"Anything" he whispered taking a hold of my hands.
"That you'll never leave me or scare me into thinking that
you left me. I don't think I could stand losing you." He looked at me shocked for a minute realizing what I had just said.
"I'll stay with you forever" he whispered bringing me into a hug. We then said goodnight ans went into our respective rooms. I got undressed and put on my pajamas. I lay on my bed for a while but I couldn't sleep. When I closed my eyes I saw a dead James and it scared me. I walked over to his room and knocked on the door. After a moment he opened the door and asked "wazza madder" rather groggily.
"I couldn't sleep" I answered looking down only to realize that I had James Potter clad in only his boxers standing in front of me. I felt my cheeks burn at the thought. "And I was wondering if-" I mumbled.
"If you could stay with me?" he asked and I nodded. He smiled and pulled me into a hug. He was really warm I noticed and had nice abs. I smiled into his chest. "C'mon you" he said leading me into his room. We laid down and he wrapped hi arms around me. I moved closer to him because it felt so right to be in his arms.
"Goodnight James" I whispered closing my eyes.
"Goodnight Lily" he whispered back. I instantly fell asleep. I had a weird dream, though it really wasn't htat bad. It was actually quite nice.
I was walking by the lake at night. There was floating orbs all around just hanging suspended. I looked up at the sky and it was cloudless and bedazzled with stars. "Hello Lily" I heard a voice say and turned to see Remus standing there in a nice dress robes. "Isn't it time to walk down the isle?"
"Oh yes! You're right!" I said. I looked down finally realizing htat I was in a beautiful white dress. "Thank you for giving me away at my wedding. It means a lot since my father isn't here anymore."
"It's my pleasure" he smiled "James is so happy. He was just flying screaming 'I'm marrying Lily Evans!' to the heavens. Sirius was trying to chase him down. It's funny seeing Sirius be the responsible one" he laughed but then continued "too bad that Peter couldn't be here."
"Yea. I'm sorry about his mother" I sighed. Music played and Remus linked arms with me. It was amazing seeing James in the most brilliant dress robes. I was wearing a goblin-made crown that was bejeweled. I was led down the isle where I met James. Sirius was standing the next to James as the best man. I turned to the left and there stood Marlene as my maid of honor.
"Why Lily-flower you look wonderful" Sirius said smiling "you should've seen ol' prongsie" Sirius smiled at James who beamed. The ceremony went on every detail being perfection.
"Wake up Lily" I heard James say.
"But sweety. I'm not sleeping" I said smiling.
"Um...yes you are. It's time to wake up."
I woke up and looked at my surroundings. I was laying next to James who was staring at me smiling. I was shocked at first but then remembered what happened last night. I smiled at him and siad "I don't wanna get up Jamesy." I pouted a little bit hoping that it would work.
"Sorry Lils" he said trying not to make his smile any wider. "We have to get breakfast and then go to class." I sighed and got up. I walked to my room and grabbed my things and then went into the bathroom and cleaned up. When I walked out with my stuff I saw him waiting for me in the common room. We walked together to breakfast having a nice conversation about one prank that he did once. If it was any other year I would've been angry at him for it but I now I felt that it was actually funny. We sat down next to everyone else.
"Oh look it's the two lovebirds" Sirius said smiling making both James and I blush.
"Shush Padfoot" Remus said smiling "leave them along." I looked at him and he smiled even wider. This wasn't missed my James who looked at us confused. Remus looked at James and said "You won't have to wait to long Prongs." James just looked even more confused making me and Remus laugh. James looked at me but I just smiled at him.
We went to our classes and soon we were in Potions. "Well today class we are going to be brewing amortentia. Now not by any reason can you take any of it and if I do find that you have you will not be very happy with your punishment" he paused but then continued "Can anyone tell me what is unique about amortentia?" he looked around and saw my hand up. "Ah Ms. Evans."
"Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It causes a powerful infatuation or obsession in the drinker. It has a distinctive mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from it in characteristic spirals. It has a different aroma for everyone who smells it, reminding each person of the things that they find most attractive, even if the person themselves don't acknowledge their fondness for the object of their affection" I said.
"Well done Lily my dear 20 points to Gryffindor" Professor Slughorn said. "Now get to work. There will be a prize for the one that has the best potion." We all got to work and by the end I noticed that besides myself only Remus had something that looked remotely like what it was supposed to. Professor Slughorn looked at all our potions and then stopped at mine. "Wow Lily! Perfect again! 20 points to Gryffindor. Here is your prize felix felicis. See here students this is how a true potions-mistress does their work! Now out of curiosity what do you smell?"
I leaned in and smelt it and said "I smell...quills...parchment..." my voice suddenly got quieter as I continued "wet quidditch robes...and...and...nothing else" I said not wanting to say the last part, the way James smelt. I felt a blush creeping onto my face as everyone in the room let out gasps to the quidditch robes part. Everyone thought I hated quidditch since James was on our team and was cocky. I looked at James and he had a shocked expression on his face but when he looked into my eyes he suddenly wore an infectious smile. My blush grew and I looked at the ground.
"Well Lily...that's rather interesting. Well class dismissed. Off you go" said Professor Slughorn. I practically raced out of the classroom and to the heads' dorm. I threw my stuff on my bed and sat down. I basically admitted to James that I like him! Wet quidditch robes? Oh dear Godric what was I thinking by saying that. This is horrible.
I walked down to dinner and sat next to Mary and Marlene. I noticed that the guys weren't there yet so I took this as an opportunity to talk to them. "Hey so can I talk to you two?" I asked and they nodded. "Ok so I have a confession..." I paused looking up to see Remus sitting down across from us. "you know how I told you guys about well my James situation?" they all nodded. I took a deep breath and continued "well today in potions the whole wet quidditch robes thing was whenever he walks into the common room after practice" I blushed. "And the last thing I was going to say but I didn't because I know it's obvious that I stopped without saying the last thing...well that's...well it's how James smells."
"What about how James smells?" Sirius asked sitting down with James and Peter. I didn't think it was possible for me to turn a darker shade of red but I did.
"She lllluuuuuurrrrrvvveess it!" Marlene squealed much to the surprise of James, Sirius, and Peter. Remus looked like he would explode if he didn't start laughing.
"Well it looks like we really do have Mrs. Prongs here now don't we" Sirius said smiling like a maniac. I looked at him with a glare that if possible would have killed him. "Hey let's face it; y, ou tried to protect him from Creeper, you're patronus is a doe which is the female version of James', you like the smell of wet quidditch robes and I heard from James that you eye him when he comes in" he winked at me when he said this "oh and also you like the way he smells." I opened my mouth to protest but was cut off.
"Don't you dare tell me that you don't like the way I look after quidditch" James winked at me while I rolled my eyes "especially when I come in without a shirt on with my broom slung over my shoulder." I suddenly got an image of him like this and my entire face turned as red as my hair. I opened my mouth but no words came out so I closed it again so as not to look like a gasping fish. This earned a barking laugh from Sirius and a snicker from Remus. I glared darkly at the two of them.
"Hey you heard from me first that you were in love with him. And from talking to Mary Marlene you told them about it too. You basically admitted it anyway in the hospital wing yesterday anyway" Remus smiled. He looked at the protest I was forming and continued "Don't you protest. When I said you were in love with him you asked me how I knew. If that's not admitting it I don't know what is."
"Hey Lily?" Mary said."
"Um yea" I said.
"Why are you so stubborn?" she asked. I looked over at her and thought. Why was I not admitting that I was in love with James when it was clear to everyone. I don't want another Creeter situation...James would never do that...I know...but then why are you afraid...I've never been in love before...
"Oy Lily!" Marlene called jolting me out of my thoughts. I looked around and realized that everyone was still staring at me.
"So Lily what are you afraid of?" Remus asked. I opened my mouth to ask how he knew and he cut me off saying "Lily you barely let anyone see your real thoughts and feelings. You claim some things that aren't true and stick to it and hide behind them. You try so hard to convince yourself that it's true but deep down you know it's not true. You hating James since first year is an example." Everyone's mouth dropped open at this.
"What do you mean she didn't hate me? She always yelled at me and rejected me?" James cried.
"That's because I liked the attention" I said quietly making everyone fall silent. "I liked fighting with you but I convinced myself that you were this horrible person with the help of Snivellus. He hated you and so I thought that I had to as well. I liked that you went out of your way to get my attention and ask me out. I guess one reason why I said no. But you made me mad when you picked on him and I was angry because I didn't understand why you guys hated each other so much. I regretted the day when he called me that awful word because you tried to fix it but I didn't let you. I yelled at you because I blamed you for the loss of my best friend but it he was the reason for his own undoing. I felt guilty and I still do because of that day but I was too stubborn to apologize. And then this year you matured and became..." I had been on a roll until I started talking about this year. The year had been different.
"You just wanted my attention all this time?" James asked getting slightly angry.
"I-I'm sorry" I said feeling the tears forming. His face softened a little but I ran for it. I didn't notice the stares or my friends calling after me. I didn't realize that they were trying to follow me I just ran and I didn't know where I was going. I ended up sitting at the top of the Astronomy Tower. I was hugging my knees and I was crying. I sat there for a while not realizing that I was being watched by none other than the one responsible for these feelings...James Potter.
He sat down beside me but didn't say anything. He let me cry and I didn't even understand why I was crying. I eventually looked up and saw him sitting there staring at me. He smiled a little and spoke "I'm sorry Lily. I've just been waiting for years for you to say yes just to find out that you secretly liked me the entire time."
"I didn't realize that I did until a few weeks ago" I said sheepishly.
"You mean the night that Marlene was thoroughly convinced that we were dating and you stood there staring at my door for a long time?" he asked and I nodded. "I told you I don't want to be a rebound..." he started but I cut him off.
"I only went out with Creeter because he threatened to hurt you if I didn't. I never liked him and I always thought he was creepy. In my mind that wasn't even a real relationship it was more like a parasite. You aren't a rebound if that isn't a real relationship." I crossed my arms.
"Oh alright" he smiled and he kissed my forehead. I smiled at him but then pounced on him enveloping him in a long kiss. It was nothing like Creeter and it felt right. James was soft, gentle, and passionate. We were so engrossed in the kiss that we didn't even realize that the rest of the Marauders and Mary and Marlene were standing there watching us.
"Oy I expect to be best man at your wedding!" Sirius called earning a slap from Marlene and a laugh from the rest. James and I broke apart and looked at them and then he looked at me giving me a look as if to say 'give him your best bat-bogey hex' to which I happily obliged. Everyone disappeared after this knowing that we wanted to be alone.
"You know Lily" James said smiling "I never gave up." I smiled back at him and rested my head on his chest listening to his heart beat.