!Warning! This will contain yaoi (boy x boy) so please do not read if you are immature.

Ok, a few things to clear up. This is AU (Alternate Universe), Craig is an alien called a Timear (all have different colored skin, have black blood, pointed ears, sharp teeth, live on a cold planet known as Oha, and have black claws), and Tweek... people should listen to Tweek more.

Also, the alien race known as Timear was created by Average Fanatic & Funkychik so please do not use this at all. We worked pretty hard on coming up with them.

This was done as an rp on Gaia.

Average Fanatic played as Tweek & Kyle

Funkychik played as Craig & Kenny

Tweek Tweak, an average, paranoid, coffee loving seventeen year old was out at the coffee shop his parents owned. They keep "forgetting" to bring coffee home which is weird since they work with it all day and he tries to remind them every morning. It's like they're doing it on purpose… They were trying to keep it all for themselves! Or… they just hated him, but he was pretty sure they were giving it away. They couldn't hate him since they were always trying to protect him. Reminding him to lock the windows so the pedophiles can't break in, kidnap him, and rape him in their basement. Warning him that if his room is messy the gnomes will come out and steal him away and eat him. Tweek didn't want to be eaten by gnomes, they were already stealing his underwear but no one ever believed him. Not the smartest kid in class and not even the school bully, Cartman, believed him… What was wrong with these people?

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. He had just bought his favorite coffee mix and a grande coffee to get him through the walk home. Twitching quite a bit he grabbed his bag and his drink and was about to take a sip when someone, Butters to be exact, ran into the coffee shop and to his boyfriend, Cartman, to exclaim loudly, "Hey fellers! There are amazing shooting stars outside." While speaking, he was pulling on the very muscular foot ball players arm, trying to get him to come outside to see this amazing sight. Tweek on the other hand was buying a new coffee since his own was flung into the air as he screamed from Butters outburst. Cartman had finally stood up, blushing lightly and glaring at everyone that was snickering, forcing them to come outside too, even Tweek was pushed outside to stand in the crowd of teens starring up at the sky. Taking a sip of his beloved coffee, he glanced at the sky, uninterested until he noticed that these shooting stars didn't look quite right. Since when did shooting stars leave behind a light blue light?

Dropping his coffee on the ground his mouth opened in horror and he let out a scream. Everyone around him jumped and backed away, looking pissed. They were used to this sort of thing by now and instead of getting annoyed, they became angry. Before they could yell at him he said quickly while twitching like crazy, "Aliens! A-Aliens are coming! Th-there gonna… gonna… gonna eat us a-and dr-drain our blood as fuel o-or even… mate with us!" While he was ranting his paranoid thoughts, he was pulling on his hair with both hands. He didn't want to become a slave, fuel for their ships, a snack, and definitely not a play toy for the aliens. This ranting had scared little Butters into hiding behind Cartman and shaking lightly. Cartman hated to see his Butters afraid like that, Tweek would pay for that. Looking around he laughed darkly and said, "You freak, there's no such thing as an alien." He had to make it look like he was hitting Tweek because he was a freak, not because of Butters, though it was already obvious to everyone else what he really doing it for. Pulling his arm back, he punched the twitching blonde in the gut and huffed. "Let's go Butters,"he said and pulled on Butters sleeve to get him to follow as the group dispersed. Tweek was on his knees, hugging himself, and coughing.

All he did was tell them what was really going on. Seriously! Wasn't it obvious that it didn't seem normal? Shooting stars only lasted a few seconds, he would know, he used to hold his breath each time he saw one. What? He always thought if he didn't he'd explode. Grabbing his bag, he shakily stood and turned around, walking back inside the coffee shop to buy his third coffee for the walk back home.

Craig Tucker, just an average Timear alien from the planet Oha. Oha is a cold planet, covered in what humans would call "snow."The planet's temperature would seem uninhabitable to most, but it is the perfect climate for the Timears. The Timears are the race of aliens that live in the frozen haven known as Oha. All Timears have a unique look and style to go along with who they are. Craig like all others of his kind has the trademark solid black eyes, claws, pointed ears, and razor sharp teeth that all Timear are known to have. However his light blue skin, and short black hair sets him apart from others. But this alien would never complain about his looks, after all he made it work. In human years this alien would be described as being ninety years old, but he only appeared to be seventeen. Seventeen being the age he is known to be on his home planet, yes Craig is just a teenager who lives with his parents and younger sister like a somewhat normal family. Except, Craig has a deep hate for his family. They are, after all, a bunch of losers. Like most teenagers Craig has a part-time job, a job which the young alien loves. His job is to capture humans, and bring them to the high end restaurants on Oha to be sold and or made into meals for the customers. Humans really were a rare delicacy, so when offered this job Craig knew better than to turn down the opportunity. Though when Craig made his trips to earth he only took humans from the colder regions of the planet. Such as Alaska, Russia, and Canada. Why only the colder parts of the planet? Well Craig, like all other Timears, had the weakness of heat. If temperatures went above seventy he would burn very easily, and death would soon follow if he didn't reach some place cold in time. And that would be such a lame way to die; now being torn apart might be acceptable. But death by the weakness heat was just a laughable one.

He wore a long sleeve tight blue and black stripped shirt that went to his thighs, black skinny jeans, knee high black boots, and black elbow length gloves. Craig's outfit was in style on Oha, and Craig being who he is liked to keep in style with every trend while adding in his own special taste to the mix. Sure his parents didn't like the way he dressed, but Craig honestly could care less about what they think. He even ignored his little sister who was stuck in the last style of dressing all in pink. Seriously Ruby, get with the times.

It was one of Craig's days off, one would think he would of planned out something with friends or his family. But… they were boring and always suggested the same thing over and over again. So irritating. His father even annoyed his young alien son so much that Craig decided to leave the house for a "walk" for a bit. The walk quickly turned into taking his father's Voot Cruiser out for a joy ride. Normally he could just ask the pathetic old man if he could take it out for a nice drive, then again his father never really permitted his son using the Cruiser. Craig was breaking the law with his job after all; he didn't have a human hunting license. Without the license it was illegal to hunt the delicious humans. But Craig wanted to get paid, and he wanted the benefit to fuck the rules. Following all rules was boring after all. Back to the fun the young alien was having with his father's Voot Cruiser, snickering he started the ship and quickly took off from his home planet of Oha. Taking out the Cruiser for a spin was always so fun, instantly one of the monitors showed his father's angry red face. His father proceeded with yelling at Craig telling him to return home. Rolling his eyes Craig turned the monitor off and went on with the flight. Craig decided to visit earth, as he does with his job to collect humans, but this would be a visit for him. This wouldn't be the first time the alien has visited earth on his down time, for some reason the humans and the pests they called animals were funny to see. Ah humans, such a young self-centered race. And their animals, what slaves. It was like watching a lame reality show, World War I made absolutely no sense, at least World War II had drama. Wonder when the next big war will be?

As his Cruiser closer and closer to Earth something happened the alien just didn't expect. Seriously humans? When you abandon a satellite at least make the effort to not litter space with it, don't do to space what you are doing to your own home planet. Space belonged to everyone, not just the humans. Then again they do believe they are the only ones in the universe, so naïve. The Cruiser was perfectly fine, that is until a forgotten satellite smashed into the side of the aliens' ship. Instantly Craig started losing all control of his ship. Fuck his dad was going to kill him. Instead of landing in Russia his ship was now heading towards the United States. In a panic he did his best to steer his ship to the coldest part of the country. As he entered the atmosphere his Cruiser started to break apart each part forming a blue light tail behind it. The screens in his cruiser were flashing red with the word "Warning" nice and bolded to let the alien know of the obvious. When his ship finally crash landed on Earth he was lucky enough to land in South Park. According to his on board computers this was the coldest town in the country. His ship leaving a crater because of the impact, luckily though Craig managed to survive the crash only getting many cuts and bruises. His black blood trailed down the left side of his face, letting out a sigh in relief he was just glad he could tell death to fuck off once again. Pushing open a door on the Cruiser he walked out only to look over the ship. Growling he began cussing in his native language, the ship was totaled! He would definitely be punished when he got home. All he needed now was a ride, sighing he pulled out his holophone. First he called his mother, naturally she was upset, probable was she handed the holophone to his father. He was no help! All he did was cuss out the young alien and tell him to find his own damn way home. Closing the holophone he placed it in his pocket, and let out a frustrated sigh. Sure earth was nice to visit, but not stay at for long periods of time. The lack of advanced technology along with the disgusting smells could only be handled for so long. Climbing out of the crater his cruiser had created, Craig took a look around before spotting a human. Hmm… that just won't do, he couldn't have a human know he was vulnerable. He seen what happened with ET. Licking the black blood from his lips he chased down the human before tackling him into the snow and snapping their neck. Such a simple kill yes, but the human was wearing a blue chullo hat. And Craig being who he is and sticking with what was in style, wanted it. Pulling the chullo off of the now dead human he placed it on himself, and everything just felt right with it. Though he would have to work on getting the smell out. Eating the human he left behind nothing but blood, last thing he needed was them hunting down a body. That would involve them looking for Craig.

After taking out the human who had spotted him it was now time to find someplace where his ship could be kept safe while he made repairs. He would have to pick a suitable home where the humans wouldn't care if the original residents became the alien's dinner. Walking through the streets of the quiet little town he was left with so many choices, he finally decided on an old couple's home. The place already smelt of death so he would be doing the two a favor by ending the suffering a bit sooner. Old humans didn't taste as good, but they were sweet tasting and it was all thanks to aging. After killing the old couple and enjoying them as a sweet mid-night snack, he went back to drag his ship into the garage the home had. Luckily the ship fit perfectly into the garage after getting rid of the strange smelling four wheeled machine they kept in the garage before. Using the computers on his ship he spent a good portion of the night looking through the "internet" he would have to blend in while he made repairs.