BESIDE THE DYING FIRE
***LINES IN ITALICS ARE FROM "LEGACY OF THE FORCE: REVELATION" EPILOGUE BY KAREN TRAVIS
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING TO DO WITH STAR WARS…JUST PLAYING IN THE SANDBOX
BEGINNING
Luke Skywalker listened as his son Ben tossed and turned restlessly in the confines of the tent. He finally settled down though his mind was far from it. Luke sensed his son's inner turmoil and ached because of it. Thrown into a situation he was ill equipped to handle, the boy had been forced to grow up entirely too soon. Seduced and twisted by Jacen Solo, the self-proclaimed Darth Caedus, Ben had worn several guises in recent months: GAC shock trooper, assassin, covert operative, courier, and most recently bait. His own nephew had plotted with Lumiya, Dark Lady of the Sith, to subjugate the galaxy and twist it to their own warped design. Jacen had manipulated events to suit his own personal agenda and detonated Luke's world in the process. He had defiled and degraded Ben's ideals until the boy slid perilously close to the dark. He had sacrificed Luke's wife on the altar of Darkness and personal ambition. And Luke stood silently by and let it all happen.
He felt exhaustion and grief settle over him like a wool blanket, stifling all possibility of inner peace and a deeper connection with the Force. Luke shook his head angrily, chiding himself as he felt Ben stirring again. These thoughts could accomplish nothing. He could tear it up, fold and twist it, dice it however finely he could…it still didn't change the fact that Mara was gone and he was lost without her.
Luke clamped down tighter on his emotions. Ben, he could tell, wasn't asleep but drifting in the gray area between sleep and waking. He moved a little farther away from the tent, still keeping it in sight, but wanting to put some physical distance between him and his resting son. He blew out a breath and tightened his shields, building a mental distance as well. His son didn't need to be burdened with his father's grief. Ben carried enough of his own.
Grabbing at a broken limb resting near his boot, Luke poked idly at the dying embers of the campfire. They flared briefly at the touch of new fuel, a fresh blast of life giving air, and sent sparks spiraling upward toward the sky draped opaquely in the Transitory Mists. The red flash caught Luke's gaze and he watched in silence as it soared up, flickered briefly brighter, then spent twirled softly downward. The flames, red shot through with pure gold, ebbed as it burned down…down. Feeling scalding tears, Luke dropped his face into his hands and rubbed his eyes sharply edging away tell-tale dampness.
He reached inward, out of habit, for the fortifying power of the Force. He needed peace. He needed to find that center of calm essential for a Jedi to function. He nudged the remnants of the bond and stopped, tracing the familiar outline out of habit. He followed it, rushing headlong among the twists and turns, knowing the outcome of such a search but blindly reaching out anyway. "Mara," he called silently. A vast, echoing emptiness was his only answer. Pain twisted his gut, and Luke pulled away from the bond-the severed connection to his other half. As he turned back to dampen the embers, something twitched in the fabric of the Force. He was startled when a longed for voice drawled lazily behind him, "Skywalker, sometimes I think I should just kick you in the head."
Luke spun around swiftly, his eyes tracking the clearing completely sure that he had lost his mind. He saw her, faintly outlined in glowing blue, leaned up against a nearby tree. Hands grasping opposite elbows, booted ankles gracefully crossed, Mara eyed him in obvious amusement as his mouth gaped in stunned surprise. "Oh…sweetheart…you found me," Luke gasped out.
"Of course I found you, Farmboy. Subtlety isn't exactly your strong point even after all these years, you know." Her gaze swept him head to toe and she shook her head in resignation. "What are you doing, Luke? You know that this can't continue."
"You found me." He whispered again striding toward the illuminated figure of his wife. His eyes drank in the sight of her. He instinctively reached out to her both with his arms and through their bond. His hand stopped a breath away from her face when his brain caught up with him. But the bond, oh the bond. He felt sparks like those shaken free of the embers blaze up expanding and enfolding him. Blue eyes met green and Luke felt tears once more sting his eyes as the bond reasserted itself.
"I know this can't continue, Mara." He ground out, voice raspy and dry. "I know I need to pull myself together. I have to for myself and the Jedi but mostly for Ben. He came so close. Jacen, he" Luke's voice faltered. "Jacen has been pushing Ben from the start." He dropped his gaze suddenly ashamed. "He tortured him. He abused him. I knew something was wrong but I just let it happen."
Mara stepped forward, her eyes blazing. "Don't you do that. Don't you blame yourself. It was as much my fault as yours." He shook his head helplessly but, as always, she ran roughshod over his objections. "It was, Luke. I left you a note and went off alone to save the day. You and your damned hero complex must have rubbed off on me. I thought I could take him down. I almost succeeded. He fights dirty, Luke." She shook her head, memories rolling out over the bond. Luke caught a brief flicker of Ben's face.
"He used Ben to get to you, didn't he? " Luke questioned. At her nod, Luke felt another wound open up in his heart. "I knew it had to be something like that. It would have to be for him to get past you. I didn't think he would sink that low." He laughed harshly. "I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I give everybody the benefit of the doubt. You'd think I would have learned my lesson by now."
Mara curled a fist and playfully jabbed it at his head. He ducked to the side reflexively, causing her to grin. "Of course, you gave him the benefit of the doubt. You're Luke Skywalker. That's what you do." Dropping her arm, she said gently, "You tried to warn me, Luke but I didn't listen until it was too late. I argued with you to leave Ben with him. I backed Jacen at every opportunity. I'm as much to blame for this as you. Stop taking responsibility for everyone else's actions, Farmboy. I thought we covered this lesson already."
He felt his lips edge up. She always knew what to say. She always knew how to ground him, to show him when it counted that he was only a man. "I miss you, Mara." He whispered his heart in his eyes. "I miss you so much it's hard to know what to do. I feel like I lost myself when you went. I don't know how to be me anymore without you."
She smiled ruefully, "Nice to know I'm still needed. You are such a sweet talker, Skywalker. No wonder I married you." He huffed out a laugh shaking his head. Some things never changed. "Luke," she softly put in, "I'm always with you. Maybe just beyond sight or sound but I'm there. You know how limited those senses are. "She glanced at his face then to the embers still flickering in the darkness. "We're like that fire, Luke. We start out burning brightly. The more fuel added, the brighter we burn. But that isn't stable. It can't last. Keep adding fuel to a fire and eventually it will consume everything and fail. Feed the fire gradually, giving the fuel only when needed, and it settles. It will continue to burn." Her eyes came back to his, steely in the darkness. "My love for you will be there always. That's what I promised you. I keep my promises, Farmboy. We will never burn out."
Luke smiled, tears glazing his blue eyes, and his hand came up once more toward her face. "I know that, Mara. I keep my promises too. Ever and always is what I said. I meant it then and I still do." He felt the bond flare between them again, the Force granting them one brief moment where thoughts and souls intertwined. Her love flowed through him like a river, banishing all the darkness and doubt and purging his grief like a wildfire. He plunged into it, reveled in it, and then sent it back to her with everything he had.
His eyes opened to find hers again in the flame-kissed dark, not even realizing that he had closed them. She smiled gently, her red gold hair waving about her shoulders. He felt finally at peace, all negativity swept away. "Sleep now, Skywalker." She whispered. "You need it as much as he does. Both of you need to take better care of yourselves. Take better care of each other. Otherwise, you'll have to deal with me."
He chuckled quietly, "Perish the thought." A yawn escaped him and he eased down beside the dying flames watching as she lowered herself across from him. "Stay awhile." He whispered eyes closing tiredly.
"I'll stay until you fall asleep. I love you, Luke. Ever and always." The words came softly from the dark. He smiled already slipping down into sleep. "Love you too, Mara. Always."
Ben wondered if his father was talking in his sleep, then knew he wasn't, because he could feel Luke's sudden emotion like a light being shown in his face. His reflex was to scramble out of the tent and rush to his father's side, elated, with so much more to say and ask this time; but he stopped himself. This was Dad's time not his. Ben knew exactly who had found Luke Skywalker. He smiled, laid his head on the makeshift pillow, and let the tears run unchecked until sleep claimed him.
THE END
A/N: This was my first foray into a Star Wars fic. I mentioned this idea to Ginchy who encouraged me to run with it. I hope I got it right. To you, Ginchy, for the encouragement.