Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own imagination. :) If I did own Glee, Rachel, Finn and Kurt would never, ever, ever leave.

Fairytales

Once upon a time.. no, wait.. this isn't one of those stories. There is no Princess, and there is no Prince Charming. And there probably won't be a happy ever after. Life is not as perfect as they make out in this childhood fairytales.

In this story, there is no wicked step-mother, and there is no deep, dark forest but there is a girl. This girl does not live in a castle hidden away from the world, she does not lay sleeping waiting for that one man to come along and break the spell. She lives in a small house, she goes to work, she has a small child and she is married. She smiles at everyone, she laughs at jokes, she goes out with friends.

But she is hiding something from everyone, her smile disappears when she is behind closed doors, she doesn't laugh when she is alone. Yet, she carries on pretending to live this perfect life because maybe, just maybe, if she pretends enough then it will come true one day. Maybe.

She won't tell anyone though, she often finds herself laying on the floor in the bathroom wondering why she stays, why she lets him hurt her and she always comes up with one reason: she loves him. She loves him more than words can say, and after everything that has happened, she still hopes that one day, he will change.

That girl is me.

And the truth is, that I, Rachel Berry, is only scared of one thing, and one thing only, and that is Jesse St. James.

We were happy once, we had a baby and we were so good together. We were happy. And then he started to drink, but it wasn't just drinking, he started to drink a lot. When I got home from work, I would smell the alcohol the moment I stepped into the house and that's when I start to wish I had stayed behind until he had fallen asleep.

And then the first time it happened, everything changed between us. He was still the man I loved, but also the man I was terrified of. I remember how I felt and I remember thinking about saying something to anyone. I actually don't know why I didn't leave him that very first time; the logical part of me told me to pack my bags and get out of there. But then there was another part of me, telling me that he could change and it was nothing more than a phase. And now, I'm just too scared to even think about leaving him.

As long as he doesn't lay a hand on Danny then everything is going to be okay, I will be fine. Not even my friends, the people I work with and see every day, know the truth. This whole thing is one big game, one huge secret, I can't let anyone know how weak I am. I can't do that to them, I can't see the pain and the guilt in their eyes when they realize I have been hiding this thing from them for so long.

I sigh as I get to the front door, getting back from a long day of rehearsing all day. I knock the door slowly, wishing I had taken up the cast on going out for a celebration of our opening night. "Where have you been?" I jump at the sound of his voice, the smell of alcohol already evident in the air.

"You know where I was, Jesse." I manage to say, immediately regretting it when a fist makes contact with my face. And all I can think about is how I will cover it up tomorrow, how will I get to work and get into make-up without anyone seeing me?

"What did I tell you about being gone for so long? Expecting me to take care of your brat?" My head snaps up at the mention of my baby boy,

"You were the one who wanted to be a stay at home dad, you know my job is like." I can hear the nerves in my voice as I look up at him, refusing to give him the pleasure of making me cry as I bite down on my lip, trying to hold back the tears.

"Please.." I whispered, "Not tonight." I just wish someone would walk down the street right now and save me from this. I want someone to know so it can all end but I keep up the walls, because I don't want anyone finding out the truth. I cry out in pain when he grabs my hair, pulling me inside the house before slamming the door behind us.

And then before I knew it, tears fall down my face as I land on the floor, hearing a crack. I can hear my baby crying in the next room as I scream in pain, begging my husband to stop and leave me alone, crying out in pain at every kick and every punch. I cover my eyes as he shouts at me over and over again. And then it all goes black and I'm happy again, living in my fairytale land.

~ .. ~

"Hey baby, I am so sorry." I hear him say the moment I open my eyes, looking around to see the familiar wallpaper of our bedroom. It's early morning and I was laying next to him on our bed, wondering how I ended up here.

I sigh and cry out in pain when I try to sit up, "Forgive me?" I don't know what to say to him, it hurts all over and I have to go to work soon to pretend all over again. I want to carry on living in my own fantasy world where everything is okay, but I can't do that here, I can't pretend in hell.

"No... go away." I whisper, as he puts his arms around my shaking body, in a way to comfort me like he has done nothing wrong. I shake my head, tears falling from my face as I try to remember one time when I was happy before pushing him away from me with all the strength I can muster up.

"No, baby, I will get help this time.. I promise."

"How many times have I heard that?" I shook my head again, doing my best to get out of bed. I look down at my body, suddenly realizing I was naked; every single bruise, cut and mark completely evident to me as I stare down at myself. I finally stand up, crying out in pain when I realize that I have stood on a swollen ankle.

I have to leave him, I have to go somewhere where I can be safe. I have to stop pretending that everything okay when it clearly is not. "Where are you going?" He quickly gets up, walking over to me as I just stand there, taking every ounce of strength I have in my body to just stand there.

"Work." I muttered, knowing I shouldn't turn up looking like this. I have an under-study who could easily fill in for me but I had to get away from him, I had to carry on my own game of make believe.

"No, you can't.. you know the rules, you're not allowed to be seen like this."

"I don't care anymore, you took it too far this time." I carried on walking, ignoring the pain shooting through my body as I grab what clothes I can find, finally sitting down on the couch to get dressed.

"I have to go baby, I have an interview today. I will drop Danny off at kindergarten as well. Will you be here when I get back? I will phone work for you and tell them you're sick and can't do the show tonight, if you want?" I nod slowly, wincing as the pain rushes through my body, knowing I would be no use to work anyway.

"Thank you." I whispered, noticing the grin on his face as he rushed over to the phone, he could be so stupid sometimes. I shook my head, walking over to my bathroom, looking in the mirror at my new injuries. My face was barely recognisable, he had never gone much for my face before, always wanting to get an easy cover up.

I touched my face lightly, staring at the two black eyes, the massive cut on my forehead, dried blood in my hair. My nose was still dripping tiny droplets of blood, and there was a cut and a bruise on my cheek – probably from his wedding ring. My lips were swollen and there were dark bruises from fingers on my neck. I winced when I touched them, more tears falling down my face.

"I am sorry, you know?" I nodded, trying my best to smile at him. I tried to hide my shaking hands as he wrapped his arm around me, kissing my cheek as gently as he could before walking out of the bathroom. I looked back in the mirror, sobbing this time. I can't do this anymore, I can't live like this.

One more beating like this.. I'm not even sure if I can make it through. At least four ribs are broken or cracked, tears fall heavily down my face as I stare at my stomach and legs; large gashes from a kitchen knife cover my entire stomach area and some of my legs. I lift up my left arm, noticing the swelling, sighing because my wrist is broken again.

There are too many cuts to count... too many bruises to think about.. too many scars to heal. I slowly walk over to my phone, biting my lip when I try and think about who to call. Kurt.

"Kurt.." I whisper into the phone as I hear him answer after just one ring,

"Rachel? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry.. I'm just.. I'm so sorry." I wipe away the tears with the back of my hand, not knowing what to say next – how do you tell your best friend since high school, your old room-mate, the one who encouraged you to get with Jesse, that your husband beat you?

"I need help, Jesse will kill me for telling you.. please help me."

"Why will he kill you? Rachel? Why would he..." He trails off and I can hear the fear in his voice, the sound of him grabbing some keys, explaining something to Blaine before the front door slams.

"I'm not allowed to tell, nobody is allowed to phone out. I can't do this anymore, Kurt, can you come and get me?"

"I'm on my way, honey, just stay there and unlock the door for me, okay?" I whisper an okay before hanging up and walking over to the door to unlock it, knowing Kurt should be here soon.

It's not long until I find myself looking at Kurt as he kneels down besides me, "What happened, Rachel?" He gasped, running inside to look at me,

"He hits me.." I finally tell him, just wanting someone to know, someone to help me.

"For how long?" He brushes some hair from my face, trying his best to stay calm as I tell him that it has been four years. I watch him as he blames himself but I don't say anything, I know it's not his fault. I'm too good at hiding secrets.

"You're getting out of here now, you can stay with me and Blaine in the guest bedroom with Danny, okay?" I nod, too weak to say or do anything else.

Ten minutes later, we're packing my stuff into a large suitcase, and I find myself wishing I had told Kurt straight away, I should have known he would help me. I shouldn't have been so terrified. And then, it's as though everything stops, my heart beat gets faster and faster as I hear him call my name.

I look at Kurt, my whole body shaking as tears run down my face; I have been caught. I put a finger to my lips, walking out of the bedroom, "What are you doing home?"

"Can't a husband bring his wife something to eat?" I shrug lightly, doing my best to say all the right things so he leaves soon. "Are you okay, baby?"

"What do you think?" I spit at him, glaring as he hands me a coffee, smiling at me as though nothing ever happened, he is the perfect husband just like he is in my dreams. I wish.

"You should go to work, you're late."

"Trying to get rid of me? Just give me a minute, I need to grab my keys." I nod slightly, before realizing him heading in the direction of the bedroom, following him because it's already too late.

"No, you can't leave me.. please." He pleads with me when I go by Kurt's side, biting my lip,

"I have to, just until you get some help, Jesse."

"I won't let you leave."

Kurt stands in front of me and he shakes his head, "You don't have a choice, Jesse." His voice is stern and I sigh, looking down at the floor. I never even see it coming.

I'm on the floor, trying to ignore the pain and the sound of another rib breaking. And then I hear Kurt shout. Please don't hurt him, I didn't mean for him to get involved, I didn't mean to. And then my world blacks out once more. Just like it had a hundred times before... and I was left in peace to live in my fairytale world.