Loud alarm noises fill up the Koei building and workers were running around dropping papers. In a room filled with computers, workers were typing away at the keyboards. At the lobby, Takasugi walks in yawning.
"Ow... My head is banging so hard it's making alarm noises..." A few workers see him and run up to him and drag him up the stairs. they throw him into the computer room.
"What are you doing?! Hurry and save the data!"
"What data...? What happened...? I'm sorry if I came late-"
"Put your hands on the mouse and keyboard!"
"Alright..." He sits there for a moment to turn back. "Why are we saving data?" The workers get pushed away to have the president of Koei yell at Takasugi.
"We have been hacked by North Korea because they thought we were Sony! Koei rhymes with Sony, but you don't mix them up! We're a barely know name in gaming! Now get saving every piece of data we have! And the renders of the DW and SW characters!"
"Can't we just re-animate them?" He gets punched in the face by a few programmers and among them was Izuru.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET THEIR FACES RIGHT?! LET ALONE FROM SCRATCH?"
"...We do have that on file-"
"Well, at this rate, we're going to lose those files! Might as well save the final result in order to redo them!"
"Alright... Where's the portal?"
"Oh, they're not going that way. They're going in here." Izuru holds up a USB drive and Takasugi laughs at it.
"Imagine all of them all cramped up in there! It's just cruel even by our standards!"
"It's faster and they will have their little space or folder for them to sit in."
Takasugi stares at a loading screen and he starts to doze off. He then wakes up when a loud beep was heard. He looks at the message on the screen.
"Not enough space on drive."
"Oh... no... Izuru! You gave me a small drive!" Izuru goes up to the computer and asks,"Who else is left?"
"Um... Dong Zhou... Xu Chu... and Meng Huo. They were too big to fit into the drive..."
"How much space is left?"
"Enough for two FULL people. Hmmm... this is a hard choice..."
"No, it isn't."
"You're right. North Korea can have Dong Zhuo. Besides he's easy for you animate, no? Just slap a big ugly beard on a fat guy and you're good to go! Or just make Santa Claus evil."
"That's actually how we did it."
Koei workers were turning off their computers and they all ran into the server room to set it on fire and they begin to bash it in with sledgehammers. The workers then all run out to shut the door and the room explodes. Takasugi looks at the room with disbelief and was holding the USB drive.
"...That is a bit over the top..." The president walks up to him.
"We couldn't take any chances. Besides, we can get another set of servers. Hopefully."
"Where am I supposed to put the characters?"
"You can just keep them in the drive until this blows over." He walks off and Takasugi looks at the flash drive and something clicked in him.
"Hmmm..."
Takasugi was holding a tablet and he sticks the drive into its USB port. He turns to break the fourth wall.
"We're not sponsored! I swear! This looks like a Mircosoft thing, but it isn't. It totally isn't." The tablet had a Windows symbol on it and Takasugi quickly slaps a black piece of tape over it while looking around anxiously. He turns it on and opens the file for the drive. The screen now showed many folders with names written under them. He taps near them and they all open up to show really tiny versions of the DW and SW characters.
"Rise and shine! Wait, can you guys hear me?" Everyone looks up to see Takasugi and they all simultaneously go back into their folders and close the flap over them.
"WOW. YOU GUYS ARE SO NICE! Considering I just saved all of you from North Korea."
"There's a North Korea?" said most of the folders.
"Oh, right. I forgot. Korea was whole back then... Nevermind. So now, you guys have to sit in there until further notice."
"Well, that sucks."
"Hey, I like it in this thing. It's comfy with all this extra paper in here."
"It's just flat! How can you even enjoy this thing?"
"Until further notice? How long will that be?"
"Mm-hm?" Takasugi shrugs his shoulders.
"We can't just sit in here. We'll die of boredom."
"You can't die from anything unless we decode you guys. Or... we can do that questions segment again..."
"No!" yelled out everyone. The Samurai Warriors section of the folders all talked with confused voices.
"What questions segment?"
"How come we didn't do that?! We'll give better answers then those ancient corpses over there!" A couple of DW folders open up to show characters with annoyed expressions.
"Trust us, you don't want that."
"Ancient corpses? At least we look good for "ancient corpses"." The SW folders open up for the characters' rebuttal.
"Oh? What was so bad that you guys can't take the heat and popularity?"
"The dares... Ohhhh... the dares..."
"I had to kiss Guan Xing with some cookie stick!"
"I had to talk to mannequins."
"I broke my teeth with a rock."
"My head was hanging on a piece of skin."
"I got thrown out of the building so many times. By my own father."
"I had to kiss a mannequin."
The SW characters looked at the DW characters with weird expressions.
"Well, aside from kissing men and plastic people, that sounds like fun."
"Yeah! I want to do it!"
"You, Mister Black Eyes! Make us do that!"
"No! I don't want it!"
"The only one protesting is Mitsunari! The majority beats his vote!"
Takasugi laughs nervously and says,"I don't know... As much I'd like to do it... But... I'm going to face facts here. The author doesn't know Samurai Warriors that well... I mean, all that person got was that Mitsunari lost his head somewhere and Nobunaga is gay for Ranmaru and they died together in that building when Mitsuhide betrayed them. Masamune being a kid with one eye, Yukimura being Japanese Zhao Yun... It's just the basic stuff in general, but really not familiar with your character and personality."
"There. We won't do it then."
"Hell no! We're not letting DW get all the fun here!" A voice was heard from the DW section.
"But who came first? Us."
"Oh? You want a go with us, huh? Huh?!" Most of the characters from either side get out of their folders and they all look like they were ready to attack each other.
"Uh-oh." Takasugi quickly plugs that tablet with a cord and connects the other end to the portal in the room. It activates and comes out the DW and SW characters at once.
"No,no,no! This isn't how it was supposed to happen!" Before anyone got up, Takasugi quickly takes out a PS4 controller and turns it on. Some taunted,"What's that going to do?"
"This." Takasugi presses the touch pad on the controller and suddenly, the SW characters start to get sucked into the controller. After he got them out of the pile, the controller was moving around.
"This started to feel a little heavy..." He turns around to see the DW characters trying to jump out of the window.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you..." The characters ignored him and they jumped out to safely land on their feet outside. When some ran past the parking lot, sparks fly on their bodies and they fall down.
"Yeeeeah..." He turns to the remaining characters that didn't jump out. "This wasn't my idea. The programmers really wanted to make sure you guys don't run out again into the real world like last time. And... ehhhh...yeeeeahhh... this was the best they could do... Luckily, the newer YOUNG characters got the shock and not you old characters since you're all smart enough to not jump out there. Anyway, to the auditorium! All parents, guardians, or masters please pick up your charred children or disciples from below there."
Takasugi and the DW cast are now in the auditorium watching a large screen. It was the SW cast being thrown around on the inside of the controller.
"This is so much fun!" Takasugi continues to mess with the controller and the SW cast (they were in chibi form) on the screen were being thrown back and forth and side to side with every move of the controller. Yelling was heard from the screen.
"This could have been you, you guys." He presses buttons to have the cast dance to to each button pressed. "Okay, let the mail flow in while I continue to shame my country's heroes. Also, don't leave or else you'll become roasted ducks." Complaints are heard in the DW cast.
"Why?! I rather be drowning in my own blood then suffer with... with... that!"
"Never thought mail could be so unnerving for me..."
"I better not kiss another man again!"
"I'm gonna risk it!" The reckless characters (you decide) ran out of the auditorium and you hear yelling. They walk back in charred black and then collapsed.
"Told ya." Takasugi continues to play with the controller and he then turns to break the fourth wall.
"Q&A story restart. Yup, the author's really out of it."
I've decided to do this again. Yup, I'm nuts and unoriginal.